My very first (self-published) book can be found on Amazon Kindle for 5 or 12 paperback! If you love dragons, give it a look! https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CSM7QQ2M
Celestia and the soldiers at Canterlot castle are preparing a surprise anniversary for the return of the moon princess. As Luna discovers her surprise, a being forgotten by all rises from the dark, crystalline depths of Canterlot and does something unthinkable. A being that hasn't been seen for so long that it was all but forgotten. How will the princesses and the mane six defeat such a creature of pure evil and sorrow?
Image made by Stalin the Stallion of course!
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The Darkness has awakend
"How will the princesses and the mane six defeat such a creature of pure evil when it seems that nothing can stop it?"
I think it's not a ''how'', but a ''who''.
646502 Nope.
Very interesting ,this promises to have good battles .Let the search for the elements of Harmony BEGIN!
And um what will happen with Discord? Will he be freed or something? And become a ... ally of the main 6?
648775 I did think of that.
Fear the Darknesssss
=D Love it
649597 Yesh I do. It was my first creation for the MLP : FIM universe. I usually like the first of everything I create. Don't worry though, I'll be introducing two more monsters. That reminds me, I haven't started the next chapter yet for the book.
654994
655100 Mhmm.
655118 yes.
655154i1083.photobucket.com/albums/j382/c-mack09/a62c7378.jpg
655175images.wikia.com/troll-world/images/d/d3/Troll_dance_by_ileeuu-d3dadex.gif
655188 The illogic works that way.
660044 I was pretty sure you were the one commenting here. I was thinking "I wonder how long it'll take Samaru to comment?", and here you are. I guess, until Stalin does my cover art, nobody will actually get to reading this besides you.
Not complaining about you reading it, but one is the loneliest number.
660071 Lack of cover art, I'm sure. It's one the basic rules of advertising: make a purdy picture and everyone'll come-a runnin'.
660083 I like, though, how the other four up there are the only other pictures here.
660096 The other four commenters on this page.
660113 Thanks for writing that.
660129 HAHA! I'm in your library, plugging up everything.
660158 Your avatar, you changed it again.
Psychopath, if you have a pre-reader, you need to fire him. There are quite a few spelling errors within this story...
I don't want to bother with it right now, but if you need a pre-reader for future chapters, you can come to me.
668109 Sure. I don't have a pre-reader anymore anyways.
681270I forgot about that.
690306 Then you might weep tears in the end. Who's gonna die? Maybe ah'll make a twist or something to the original ending? But what exactly IS the original ending?
690646 Didn't think of that. No. I didn't. It's my sub-conciousness that thinks of these things as I go along.
716577
Oh, I believe you'll love the next,
Quite unique and filled with text.
Of a silvery hue the character is portrayed,
And it is not not easy for new love to be swayed.
716618
Tis not a metal,
This silver kettle,
It is a pony of angry decree,
I believe with which you would agree.
Had quite a hard time to adjust,
Into what was thrust,
Upon the character's woes,
Foes, and new personal physical shows.
716672
I am not diversed in rhymes,
But I do not see it as a crime,
To enrich my speaking patterns,
To the zest and drunkness of a colorful tavern.
Why if you know of whom I speak,
Can you tell the name without a peek?
Is it she or he,
Or maybe a good form of diversity?
716750
Then you shan't be decieved by the next,
For love beats within its withered and broken chest.
Of feelings strange and new,
Let's just say that with the ending,
Your eyes you might skew
In the summary, it should be "crystalline" not "crystallion".
3038188 How did I never notice that? And congratulations! You're the first comment on this story in 61 weeks!
3038287 Better late then never!
Seems a bit...condensed, but otherwise fun
3165576 Condensed?
3165645It could be a bit more...fleshed out or something, I don't know, It all went down really fast nea the final chapters. I'm try to comment on every story I read and like to give the author some feedback. Despite that, i really liked the story.
3165668 Oh. Well, that's what happens when nobody really comments on my stories. I feel like they aren't appreciated and I just finish the story as "fast" as possible while keeping the storyline as fleshed out as possible.
3165674 I just read the story over the past 2 days. I think I'm goin to check your other stories out now, You've peaked my interest. Which one do you reccomend?
3165695 The true Psychopath(In which a certain character in there is where I got my name. I love Psycho. He's my favorite character creation so far.), Steamlord(Mind you, I'm still getting this one checked for spelling and stuff, but I've already fleshed it out a bit with the dialogue), my "From man to mare" series (Which is my most liked series on the site so far and what got me in the spotlight. Be wary of the third and fourth, as those suffered my Ultra-experimentation phase. I tried out time-skips with the fourth. Turns out I went a bit heavy there. I know how to do them now, though.).
3165732Alright, I'll check them out tomorrow, as it is currently midnight in Belgium, and I really shouldn't be awake.
3165753 I'm well aware that it's 23:54 in Belgium. Where do you think I'm sitting?
3165760 OH SHIT, Flanders or walloons?
3165765 Walloons. I'm pretty sure you're up north, seeing as you speak english.
images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120505151502/tehmeme/images/5/5d/Y0UJC.png
3165783
I'll be sleeping now. Have a nice err...night?
3165790 I'm going to bed too. I've just been going over some of my old stories.
I'm honestly not sure how much help I can provide here. Leaving aside the numerous spelling and grammatical errors, this story abuses exposition heavily, and it comes off worse for it. Both in terms of the narration, and the expository dialogue, there's simply too much information being thrown at us without any sort of context, and it doesn't work very well in terms of setting the stage.
As such, I found it very hard to get into what's happening here, which in turns undercuts my ability to get into the story enough to offer the sort of insight I suspect you're looking for. That said, it sounds like there can/should be a connection to King Sombra here, given the nature of crystals and shadows that Abstract has. For that matter, I'd suspect that the crystal ponies have something to do with this also, though I suspect that future chapters may have something to do in this regard.
I'm a little confused why he'd try to hide the Elements of Harmony instead of destroying them outright, since Nightmare Moon was able to do so. Presumably that's because the Mane Six would simply be able to reconstitute them? That said, that seems to be the mcguffin for how things are going to proceed. It was also a little odd that Luna was apparently worried that Abstract was going to rape her and/or her sister...that's an unexpectedly dark direction to take things, since there's no particular impetus for why she'd presume that of the monstrous crystal thing that's destroying their castle. For that matter, I'm not sure why neither of them knows about this thing's history, since it's hard to imagine that it's older than they are - if it is, then who defeated it the last time around if not the alicorns?
5898137 I haven't gotten to fixing this one's errors yet. Funfact: Abstract came way before the introduction of the Crystal Ponies and Sombra, and his powers are far beyond Sombra's. After all, Abstract had ten thousand years of absorbing dark energies.
And if you read further, you'll learn why for the rest of your questions.
This is so much fun! I'll fix the errors real quick while you read.
My OC would be helpful against the Crystallions.
9622404
Rahkshi?
9622407
Info here.
9622422
Awwww. I KNEW I recognized that name from somewhere.
Being able to use the power of all 24 would be overdone. I suggest, as you showed, to give your character a centralized item that grants him the ability to use one ability at a time, with lesser strength than the original (as you wrote yourself). Looks like a good plan, though.
His origin, though, is weird, honestly.