Pimp Spike's Swag Vol.2: I Really Hate My Sister!

by trahzo

Ch. Nine: A New Obsession.

*Smooth jazz plays in the background*

"Huh, the selection here must be certainly special. The next chapter is *gasp* A Sparity story! BEGIN." (P.S. she fangasmed)

---

Rarity has gotten rid of her shrine to Trenderhoof. Even sold the lock of hair online auction. Some fan must be more obsessed with Trenderhoof than Rarity to buy the hair for 281 bits. She now lays there in her bed, wearing her sexy silk pajamas, wondering what to do next. She had no idea, her 1st true love: Prince Blueblood was prince not so charming (reference to this one episode of Pucca) and Trenderhoof started dating Applejack. It's as if every man she falls for is actually not all they're cracked up to be. Was this the end? Is Rarity forever destined to be alone? It looked like, as she curled into a ball & sobbed for what seemed like 2 hours but in actuality, it was about 17 minutes.

"But that what it feels like to me Mr.Narrator!"

"HEY, HOW'D YOU KNOW I WAS HERE?!"

"I've been taking lesson from Pinkie on how to break the 4th wall because I'm always hearing this faint voice from nowhere?"

"Okay, I'm going to ignore you & get back to the story."

Ahem, she sobbed for a long time, she even shooed her cat away when she tried to comfort her. (Yeah, about the only time that white little demon tried being nice. Don't worry, I'm not trying to offend any white people reading this story. That was just purely against Opal. I'm Filipino Hawaiian by the way. So Rarity pulled out her phone to see if any of her friends would like to visit. She was going to give up till Spike answered the call.

"Hello?"

"Hello Spikeyboo, I was just wondering if you'd like to come over for a visit, I'm very lonely, so please be here immediately."

"Alright, bye."

"Bye."

Meanwhile...

"(I wonder what Rarity would want? guess I'll find out when I get there.)" Spike thought.

Now back to Rarity...

"Oh Spike, my Spikey boo, my Spikey wikey, how could moi have not seen it for so long?"

Uh, did I miss something as we panned over to Spike for that short while?

"Oh Mr.Narrator! I've come to a great realization."

"What would that be?"

"I'm in love with Spike & he's in love with me, how could I have not see it with my own eyes for so long? My love interest was right there in my story of romance & I was too blind by wanting to become famous, to not realize the truth. Well, as soon as he gets here, I am going to be extremely forward, now help me create a shrine to Spike,and a trap for him as well."

Okay, now everything just got strange but I'm not complaining because Rarity said I can have 200 bits after I help her. So 1st I'm gonna order 2 baker's dozens of powdered donuts, both regular & curly fries, 2 six packs of hard cider, a quadruple bacon cheeseburger, some hotdogs, popcorn, cookies & cream Ice cream, oreos, KFC 12 piece meal, you know also get some chicken nuggets, then finally, buy a party sized bag of salt & vinegar lays. Yeah, I'm gonna eat all of this as I watch Rarity have her romantic moment with a captured Spike. Just one more knot & a punch to my sister's face...and were done.

Now I'll buy all of this & try to get back here fast. wow, that certainly was fast, thanks Sonic the hedgehog, and remember, no matter how much of a brony I am, I'll always prefer you over Rainbow Dash. what a nice guy, helping me carry all of this stuff no questions asked. So the trap was set. Spike enters through the open door wondering why the boutique is so dark, then suddenly, a cage falls around him. What the heck is that over th...really Rarity? You just had to name the cage Nicholas?! Then the lights suddenly turn on.

"What in the world is going on?"

"Hit it Mr.Narrator!"

So I put on the smooth jazz music, and comes Rarity, wearing a sexy cop uniform, allowing Spike to see her thong.

"Hello convict!"

"Rarity, w-what's the meaning of this? Let me out."

"Aw what would be the fun in that? How's about you admit to being a very bad boy? Maybe then I'll consider letting you out for good behavior."

"Fine, I-I-I have been very bad, I broke Pinkie's Party Cannon & blamed it on Shogun Deezutra, I gave Button Mash expired milk which poisoned his milf, I was very lazy that day, I sometimes clop to this picture of my true love's ass I took when we were at the beach last summer! Okay I confessed my sins, so if our friends are gonna come out & congratulate me for telling the truth, I don't deserve it." Oh God, he's crying.

"You've served your sentence little boy. As a bonus for finding the courage to confess, I'll give you an award."

She then pressed a button on the wall, lifting the cage up. Rarity picked Spike up with her magic, and gave Spike the greatest 1st kiss ever in fanfiction history.

"That was fantastic." Spike said with a cracking voice.

"It was, now then, let's go upstairs to my room & have some fun!"

"Wait, aren't you being a little to straight forward my sweet?" Spike protested.

"No!"

Then sex happened.

---

"Thank goodness that jazz music is over, it started to get a little annoying. Next letter.(I wonder what the Nostalgia Critic would think of this story, since he said Teenage mlp fanfics were very bad, in the Ghost Rider review.)"

Comments

[OmniFox]

Ha!

[panzerbrony]

not bad 3/5 panzers
cant wait for more
edit: dude how hungry are you ?!?! that is a lot of food
also nice nic cage reference