Five years have passed after the war with the Changelings, an era of peace ushered in. The sun is shining, the birds singing...and the palace lively with two very mischievous fillies. Now with more borscht!
I waited a long time and has been dropped from the favorites. Well, that was a new chapter, but sooner next time, okay? Up above the atmosphere, so the air vibrato destroyed surprise. Happy to look at a picture of the event. Speedy sequel!
Okay, so this is a big one, and I have a bit of a stake in it. But I'll give it a go. The over all feel of this chapter was positive, if at times a tad over the top. The 'Rebirth' of Nightie was pretty neat, I appreciated the emphasis you put on Nightie experiencing new things for the first time. Her first breaths, her first steps, all seemed genuine. Luna seemed a tad uppity, if I'm being honest, but that's to be expected when you realize your literal evil half now wants to bang your husband. The all mother was somewhat condescending, a trait that seems to remain. Personally I find her a bit of a... well... As one commentator put it.
"Swaggering, overbearing, tin-plated dictator with delusions of godhood."
I'd go into why I included the 'Delusions of godhood' portion, but I'd rather save that debate for a later day. I found that Talon getting angrier than ever before seemed a bit out of character, considering he'd been not only nearly baked in a suit of armor but shot at, stabbed, and nearly decapitated. If something's making him angrier than that, it's probably having to do with battery acid and someone he cares about, not the fact that Luna is being a jerk. The little angel's from heaven (AKA children) were admittedly adorable, and the scene with Dusty getting the cold shoulder was comical, until I thought about how crushing of an emotional feeling that must be.
I mean... Dusty doesn't get out much, at least from what I've seen. She's probably been dreaming of a strong, handsome prince, riding on a radiant steed to whisk her away... Well, Talon certainly fills the strong prince on Alicornback part of that metaphor, you can see how she would get hot and bothered by that.
Moving onto the gala, I noticed a lack in pony reaction upon seeing Nightie. I mean, sure, Talon and Luna were expecting it, but everyone in the room? Nightie just got herself shot by every security guard and secret service agent in the building by walking through those doors. That would've been a hell of a finish, wouldn't it?
"I'm so happy! I finally get to see master-"
"SHOOT TO KILL!"
The End.
But for all the things I point out here, it's actually pretty good. I realize I have a bias, but I've suspended my feelings of mercy for the sake of this review. Over all, after reading this chapter, I felt warm and fuzzy inside. It was like the Bacon Burger and Fries of chapters. You had a nice meaty angus patty on a bun with all the fixings (The chapter itself, the plot and pacing of it), and on the side you have a bunch of tasty, crisp french fries with melted cheddar cheese over them. (The character interactions and scenes.). Now, I'm may be alone in this, but when I eat my burger I put some fries on the actual burger. Thus, finishing this drawn out metaphor by stating that the chapter combined a massive word count and decent progression with interesting interactions and developments in the characters.
Well I liked this chapter but honestly I did not see Dusty joining the herd I mean yeah she's a good friend and awesome to the kids but I can't see Talon actually loving her and I definitely can't see Luna being ok with Talon taking her to bed. Heck from my point of view Luna is a bit possessive and would probably get mad if Nightie ever tries to take him to bed.
5745979 .... Alright here blabkablabla... JOKING!!! Okay lets becomeserious! Despite the long wait it was worth. I dont know why there isnt more likes or views because crearly this story deserve it you may find a cliche or two but those are obes that cannot be avoided but you can descrive them better. Also i still love the fact that Talon didnt learn all the traditions of Equestria and make me laugh a bit specially when Dusty vecame part of the herd. Though there are parts that start to become annoying, in my opinion of course, for example calling the vhangelings parasites or pest over and over again. Then calling Luna and Talon angel and my flame but i consider that kind of veautiful and cute so i pass with that. Anyeays i hope ab update soon and smaller if it is possible XD
5745981 just so you know I did vote in your poll I just wanted to say this here. It's fine by me if she's in the story but can you do something to throw her for a loop? Or just something that catches her off guard or takes her out of her comfort zone? She is a little smug for me to like her.
Oh look....it's...another down vote with no explanation or reason from the person...
*sighs* If people have something against the story, would you kindly speak your concerns so I can address the flaws? I can't possibly improve without proper feedback, both good and bad. I write these to deliver an entertaining story that you enjoy, not just simply to write out of boredom. Please, take some time and explain, rather than just click and exit?
There's my favorite author at work again! Good job Nightie. Another fantastic chapter. Also good job on making me tear up at the anthem ;-; Er uh.. not tears sorry it was uh.. dust... in my eye *ehem*
5789282 It's not often a readers comments could make me blush, or actually shed tears of joy. Yet both of your very kind reviews have. I thank you, from the bottom of my heart, and I'm very glad that you're enjoying the story thus far. If I may ask, who are your favorite characters, and what do you enjoy most about the story? (And she would be the medium spoon, btw. I think our pilot is going to need a bigger bed, You forget Dusty Shine is also in the mix now~)
5791856 Hehe, I do aim to please. I'm really glad you enjoyed the chapter. I worked very hard on that scene in particular, and I'm happy that you enjoyed it so much. Was this recent turn in the story what you were hopeful for? And what, may I ask, is your opinion of Morrigan?
5792313 Honestly love Morrigan. She's an incredible character to have though only thing I can think of is just be careful not to use her as a Deus Ex so to speak. Not that I think you will of course. What I'm curious about is who she wants Talon to go looking for, THAT is going to be interesting.
Again here and how much! Thank you!
5741844 It was my pleasure! What did you think of the update?
5741853
I waited a long time and has been dropped from the favorites. Well, that was a new chapter, but sooner next time, okay?
Up above the atmosphere, so the air vibrato destroyed surprise. Happy to look at a picture of the event.
Speedy sequel!
Jesus ! Chapter of over 30k words?! It will taje me more than half hour tofinish that!!!!
5743117 Might I suggest a bathroom break and snacks first?
5743122 thanks for the advice but roght now i will go to sleep, the next day i may follow what you suggested
So... Comprehensive Review Time?
*looks at the word count*
Yeesh...
Okay, so this is a big one, and I have a bit of a stake in it. But I'll give it a go. The over all feel of this chapter was positive, if at times a tad over the top. The 'Rebirth' of Nightie was pretty neat, I appreciated the emphasis you put on Nightie experiencing new things for the first time. Her first breaths, her first steps, all seemed genuine. Luna seemed a tad uppity, if I'm being honest, but that's to be expected when you realize your literal evil half now wants to bang your husband. The all mother was somewhat condescending, a trait that seems to remain. Personally I find her a bit of a... well... As one commentator put it.
"Swaggering, overbearing, tin-plated dictator with delusions of godhood."
I'd go into why I included the 'Delusions of godhood' portion, but I'd rather save that debate for a later day. I found that Talon getting angrier than ever before seemed a bit out of character, considering he'd been not only nearly baked in a suit of armor but shot at, stabbed, and nearly decapitated. If something's making him angrier than that, it's probably having to do with battery acid and someone he cares about, not the fact that Luna is being a jerk. The little angel's from heaven (AKA children) were admittedly adorable, and the scene with Dusty getting the cold shoulder was comical, until I thought about how crushing of an emotional feeling that must be.
I mean... Dusty doesn't get out much, at least from what I've seen. She's probably been dreaming of a strong, handsome prince, riding on a radiant steed to whisk her away... Well, Talon certainly fills the strong prince on Alicornback part of that metaphor, you can see how she would get hot and bothered by that.
Moving onto the gala, I noticed a lack in pony reaction upon seeing Nightie. I mean, sure, Talon and Luna were expecting it, but everyone in the room? Nightie just got herself shot by every security guard and secret service agent in the building by walking through those doors. That would've been a hell of a finish, wouldn't it?
But for all the things I point out here, it's actually pretty good. I realize I have a bias, but I've suspended my feelings of mercy for the sake of this review. Over all, after reading this chapter, I felt warm and fuzzy inside. It was like the Bacon Burger and Fries of chapters. You had a nice meaty angus patty on a bun with all the fixings (The chapter itself, the plot and pacing of it), and on the side you have a bunch of tasty, crisp french fries with melted cheddar cheese over them. (The character interactions and scenes.). Now, I'm may be alone in this, but when I eat my burger I put some fries on the actual burger. Thus, finishing this drawn out metaphor by stating that the chapter combined a massive word count and decent progression with interesting interactions and developments in the characters.
So, in short.
*Sees word count*
Shi-it~
Gonna just put that one in the 'read before bed because I don't have time anywhere else' bin.
Looking forward to it!
Well I liked this chapter but honestly I did not see Dusty joining the herd I mean yeah she's a good friend and awesome to the kids but I can't see Talon actually loving her and I definitely can't see Luna being ok with Talon taking her to bed. Heck from my point of view Luna is a bit possessive and would probably get mad if Nightie ever tries to take him to bed.
Finally.... I finished reading it...
5745561 And? Details darling. I need reviews and feedback to help me improve.
5744586 And I love your honesty. Don't worry, that'll be cleared up very well in the next chapter. Clop-lite warning?
5745979 .... Alright here blabkablabla... JOKING!!!
Okay lets becomeserious!
Despite the long wait it was worth. I dont know why there isnt more likes or views because crearly this story deserve it you may find a cliche or two but those are obes that cannot be avoided but you can descrive them better. Also i still love the fact that Talon didnt learn all the traditions of Equestria and make me laugh a bit specially when Dusty vecame part of the herd. Though there are parts that start to become annoying, in my opinion of course, for example calling the vhangelings parasites or pest over and over again. Then calling Luna and Talon angel and my flame but i consider that kind of veautiful and cute so i pass with that.
Anyeays i hope ab update soon and smaller if it is possible XD
5745981 just so you know I did vote in your poll I just wanted to say this here. It's fine by me if she's in the story but can you do something to throw her for a loop? Or just something that catches her off guard or takes her out of her comfort zone? She is a little smug for me to like her.
iambrony.dget.cc/mlp/gif/twitch12_0.gif
Oh look....it's...another down vote with no explanation or reason from the person...
*sighs* If people have something against the story, would you kindly speak your concerns so I can address the flaws? I can't possibly improve without proper feedback, both good and bad. I write these to deliver an entertaining story that you enjoy, not just simply to write out of boredom. Please, take some time and explain, rather than just click and exit?
There's my favorite author at work again! Good job Nightie. Another fantastic chapter. Also good job on making me tear up at the anthem ;-; Er uh.. not tears sorry it was uh.. dust... in my eye *ehem*
5789282 It's not often a readers comments could make me blush, or actually shed tears of joy. Yet both of your very kind reviews have. I thank you, from the bottom of my heart, and I'm very glad that you're enjoying the story thus far. If I may ask, who are your favorite characters, and what do you enjoy most about the story? (And she would be the medium spoon, btw. I think our pilot is going to need a bigger bed, You forget Dusty Shine is also in the mix now~)
5791856 Hehe, I do aim to please. I'm really glad you enjoyed the chapter. I worked very hard on that scene in particular, and I'm happy that you enjoyed it so much. Was this recent turn in the story what you were hopeful for? And what, may I ask, is your opinion of Morrigan?
5792313 Honestly love Morrigan. She's an incredible character to have though only thing I can think of is just be careful not to use her as a Deus Ex so to speak. Not that I think you will of course. What I'm curious about is who she wants Talon to go looking for, THAT is going to be interesting.
5792313 hmm. cant wait to see how that turns out, maybe two more screaming mares and after 2 new messmakers in Talon's family!
I'm shocked that fancy pants did that to fleur
Got Goosebumps because of the amount of 'Murica towards the end here.