Lotus Blossom gets sent to the hospital and winds up meeting the love of her life. Now she just has to figure out how to approach the pony.
Retired writer and graphic artist.
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Aliens?
3876235
That took me about 0.45 seconds longer than it should have.
3876253 You are welcome
That's… that's tragic…
Dammit you heartless bastard! *wipes sassy tear*
and then no one got laid and every on was sad
But really, how did Pigpen's date turn out?
I liked it until the ending. That was a major buzzkill, and it was drastically different from the rest of the story. It was funny, and then... "Oh. That's disturbing". Really, where did that come from!?
... Another bloody one shot involving the Lotus Twins.
Bleh...
Would it kill someone to actually push out a fully fledged multi-chapter story with them in a full blown romance of escapades and what not?
Still a nice story, if all only too short...
I demand that you make more, on the pain of being Angel's toy for a day.
3876282
Yeah, I do that now and again.
3876400
Eeyup.
3877042
I actually have no idea. Maybe I'll write a side story someday.
3877460
I'm actually not so great or powerful when it comes to romance stories, but I may just make a long one to satisfy that void on this site. Maybe I'll even write the romantic comedy this was originally supposed to be, plus an exploration of Lotus's relationship as Aloe tries to find a date for herself. Huh, I like that idea.
Or... I could write a direct sequel where Aloe seeks love and Lotus works to either get over this stuff or really get the girl.
3877055
Now that I've had some sleep, I'll see if I can answer. Honestly, this story mutated out of control while I was writing it. I'd been up a night and 1.6 days to finish this in time for a contest. I kept hitting walls when I was writing, finding elements that wouldn't work or didn't make much real sense, even in a comedy. By the end, I was writing entirely on instinct. Even while finishing it, I was going, "What the hell have I written?" I was going for a romantic comedy with a happy ending, but something completely different came out. Sorry, man, but even I am not sure what happened here.
On the matter of Redheart's behavior, patients fall for their caretakers all the time. Nurses straight-up would get fired for dating a patient, and going out with a former patient is a gray area, an ethical minefield. Redheart would be trained to let the infatuated patients down softly to not hurt them too much, but firmly so that they know nothing will happen. I guess, when I got to that moment when Redheart sees through their plan, I just went, "You know, considering all that's happened, this would realistically probably not end well." And so, heartbreak happened.
3876310
I deserve that.
Sequel?
3889126
Perhaps one day. I doubt it'd be much happier, though.
3889703 You monster!
3897066
I really can't refute that claim.
My two favorite background ponies.
3901414
They're some of the best background ponies, it's true.
YOU BASTARD. THAT ENDING.
3916755
Yeah, I deserve that.
3916993 now that that's out. I think most ponies here would agree with me when I say I also want to know how pigpen's date went.
3919425
Well, it looks like I'll just have to write a side story about it. I'll pop out a tagged blog post whenever I get it out.
3919473 will be waiting thank you.
Well, this somehow got past my radar. Time to sink into some Nurse Joy!
I mean, Nurse Redheart!
i.imgur.com/6MrWqNZ.png
Ugh right in the feels. That ending was not what I expected. I so enjoyed this though. Lotus and Redheart would definitely be an interesting pair. You should really do like an alternate ending or something just for fun. I bet a lot of people would actually like that.
4254025
Thanks. You know what? That's a good idea. I might just write up an alternate ending to this.
4254249
Sweet
This... Is better... Well.. Better than that heart breaking first ending you tricked us all into reading through
I love both endings, though, but I like this one better because it doesn't bury my heart piece by piece six feet underground.
I was really happy when I saw this alternate ending update, but after reading it... The liked more the other version, but it's good to have both.
4269653
Honestly, the alternate ending could have been written better, but it certainly is happier this way.
4270740
Yeah, I prefer the sad ending, myself. I've always liked downer endings, though.
It's nice to have both. That first ending was over the top sad.
4271511
Agreed.
4271315 True, true... You could have made it a bit longer and fleshed it out more.
Yes.. it is happier this way.
Only I dare to call this ... interesting
37.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lws1pnn3FV1r3k1m8o1_500.png
I remember back when I first read sleeplessbrony's Romance Report, that it's alternate ending (in this case the more melancholy of the two) was also that story's more powerful conclusion. I'm reminded of that here, where Lotus Blossom looks to an aching, unfulfilled future, instead of winning a small, joy filled victory. If there was ever a sequel, it might be more interesting to see how Lotus has moved on, or not, in her life, over how she manages a blooming relationship with the mare she's crushing on.
By the way, nice voice for the Spa Sisters. And, what you did with Big Macintosh? Fun. Like he somehow became the individual everypony should know. ()
4854975
Agreed. I much prefer the sad ending, and will be going with that if I ever do a sequel. Something that explores how she's dealing with her pain, perhaps even still hoping she can be with Redheart, and what Aloe is up to.
Thanks. It was hard for me to write for them when I couldn't pin down exactly what accent they were supposed to have. And yeah, Big Mac was fun in this one. I just had this idea in my head that he's, like, Ponyville's ladies man and date doctor, and that all the guys go to him for advice (something about that super-deep drawl just seemed fitting to me).
It may be an influence of a fic I read right before this one, but my first thought was "how did a cabbage fit there?"
She starts to sound like Janis Joplin...
Rainbow Dash treatment? One of them goes back to get a book, the other to get the nurse...
Either love made her dumb, or she hit herself harder than the doctor thought...
Somewhere else, Flitter and Cloudchaser wept, realising that they're all alone...
I have a feeling that Lucky's parents didn't choose his name right...
Actually, I found it suspicious too...
Also, since I'm bad for my characters too, I much prefer the first ending. Seems more natural.
5568709
Not sure I want to know....
The thought of a pony dressing up as a hoodie ninja and sneaking into the hospital is a lot creepier when it's a sexy pony they're targeting.
Trivia: originally, this story was going to be about Lotus repeatedly injuring herself so she could spend time with Redheart. I dumped that because it would basically imply Lotus was insane.
But then they just banged, and everything was alright.
Not the best plan. At least they didn't have to pay for its orchestration.
Yeah, I like the first ending way more. I wrote all the way up to the massage scene, and just suddenly decided to dump the happy ending at the last second for something that felt more plausible in my sleep-deprived mind. So many things I had planned for this story just stretched my own suspension of disbelief too far, and thus, this thing was born (and I made my sixth "pony crying" scene).
5570691
That'd be a topic for a completely different story...
Yeah. Both of them would need therapy afterwards. And Lotus would probably spend some time in the hospital, if Redheart knows martial arts...
They banged and nothing happened...
So, that was the sixth? I'm trying to think how many ponies I made cry, but the only one I can remember now is Cloudchaser (and she basically went from crying to homicidal rather quickly).
I haven't seen too many rejection stories, especially those that lead me on such as this on did, but it was a for a harsh reality that sorta needed to be on here. Even if it did wreck my heart.
I hate rejection stories. Good thing you wrote an alternate ending.