Retired writer and graphic artist.
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Stargazing is Silver Spoon's favorite hobby. The peace, the quiet, the gentle glow that covers the land, the constellations shining like diamonds in the dark.... But all of that would mean so much less without her best friend by her side. Perhaps tonight is the night to bring up a certain touchy subject, if Silver Spoon has the guts.
Story requested/inspired by ServingSpoon
Now translated into Polish, thanks to Samey90
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That was really, really-really sweet.
That was beautiful.
Cute!
Going to agree with the sickly albino pony. It is indeed cute.
Couple of typos:
The
Missing comma after "it's".
And one suggestion:
Probably should start a new paragraph after this or else add a dialogue attribution for DT. Having a Spoon action tag right after DT paragraph starting dialogue sort of associates that dialogue with Spoon rather than DT. Couple more cases like this in the story.
3549247
Thanks for catching those. Imma blame the first two on the fact that the first half was written using an iPod before I could get a hold of my laptop, and that thing sucks for word processing. The third is a common problem for me, it seems, and I've been making an effort to avoid such issues lately. Story edited.
OML OML OML OML
OH MY LUNA!!! that was so adorable! HEAD CANON ACCEPTED!
That was really nice.
Here, take my like.
A standard rule of romance in fiction is that any two characters who look up at the moon together are destined to be strangled by the red string, no matter how contrived the relationship may be. That's not to say the romance in this story is contrived, but considering the fact that this is a romance story, the punch line was delivered the second Diamond showed up, and considering the tags, no actual reading is necessary to figure out what it was.
Given the story's length, I'd say you have a fittingly short story here. Silver Spoon goes stargazing, Diamond shows up, and they have a small, friendly discussion. No arguments, no falling out, and the only real conflict exists in the implied romance. There's not really much I can say about the story itself simply because it's so simple, but luckily the story has much more interesting factors to mention.
This story does a great job at setting the stage and describing what's happening. Between your word choice and the way you go about explaining everything, you have the setting locked down to the point of absolute clarity. Also, I don't believe I caught an instance of telling in this story. Every bit of characterization and emotion was revealed through body language and dialogue. Nothing was explicitly stated outright, and that's not an easy trap to avoid. Good job.
The characterization was standard type B romance. Dialogue is friendly and romance is held back by an invisible wall that may as well be made of butter. Though romance is this story's only real conflict, it doesn't really exist in this story to be a conflict. It's more of an additional aspect of their characterization that emphasizes their bond. It's left ambiguous, but only to those that aren't up to the task of pushing past some butter. The moon's already answered the question for us, so really this story's main purpose revolves around its emotional value.
This story is very much an emotional piece, which is unfortunately outside my realm of understanding. However, I can say it is a very well-phrased friendshipping piece with minimal errors that does a great job of implying without stating. I'd call it a bite-size cupcake with a standard amount of frosting. It's fast, it's sweet, and it's generic, but I can see the homemade effort you put into it.
Make the most!
3550896
I'd actually never heard of that rule about the moon being inherently romantic, but now it seems obvious. I'm not sure what that means. The whole idea came within a few minutes, with the romance being the last concept I added before I compiled the ideas into a rough outline.
Yeah, there really isn't much substance, and it's rather generic. No defenses or excuses from me; that's just the way it is. I'd never really tried doing anything romantic at all before this (at least not seriously). This was built to be short, simple, and hopefully sweet.
I thank you for your kind words. Even though this is basically nothing but fluff, I did my best to make it something worth having a look at, and it's great to see that someone liked the way I went about narration and characterization. Thanks for the analysis, as well as dropping by to give it a read-through in the first place.
3549178 & 3549180 & 3549868 & last, but not least, 3549779
Thanks to all of you. Hope it didn't give you diabetes.
Special thanks to ServingSpoon, without whom this story wouldn't exist. If I'd hoped to please anyone with this tale, it was you.
3551158
thank you so much. You really did my OTP the justice they deserve (squee)
please let me know if you do more Silver Spoon fics, especially DiamondSpoon shipping.
3551190
You know, I just might make a few more of these. Maybe even with some continuity among them. I have considered doing more about these two, and not just because they've been my highest-rated tales. No promises, but I could definitely see myself writing about these two again in the future. I'll be sure to notify you if I do.
3551259
Serving Silver Spoon is like, so following you right now.
I cant wait to see more my freind
You know my Serving Spoon is a follower of Luna and lover of the night. So I can easily incorporate a love of star gazing and astronomy into my tumblr pone RPs when appropriate.
thanks for giving a new facet to Silver's personality.
and the "you are such a nerd" is something my DT says to her lover constantly in a playful and endearing manner of course. It's like you wrote my SS/DT ship from my tumblr blog
3551330
Whoa. I honestly didn't even know you had a tumblr blog. That's.... Actually, it's not that weird for me. I often joke that I'm psychic, but stuff like this has happened a few too many times, and sometimes I truly wonder. Pretty cool, but a bit creepy sometimes.
P.S.: I know of at least one more DT and SS story I've been planning for a while, so you'll get at least one more for sure. I'll say one thing about it: it involves Babs.
3551374
http://servingspoon69.tumblr.com/ eeyep
3551374 You had me at Babs.
Such a tragic end to what was possibly one of Babs best experiences. Like her feeling empowered and accepted, going to lengths to keep others happy by doing more of what makes them laugh, it's that sort of mentality where its like "Wow, they really like me. I feel bad, but it sorta feels good too. They really like me!" or something.
They spent three mostly entire long weeks together. So much you can play with there. So much the show couldn't touch on because it was an episode being developed solely for Bully Awareness Week. But whatever. It was a fantastic episode if you really spend time with just their scenes, not the CMC but Babs.
I've no idea what you have plan or what genre, but I'm down for anything that attempts to build some real insight to possible events between the three. Even if it was just a Babs POV, I'd love to see one. You have such a way with narratives and dialogues that it's almost a crime your stories are so short.
Best of luck on whatever you're gonna do. And happy thanksgiving :3
3550896 3551051
Of course, the idea that the moon is romantic is by no means limited to just literature.
Here's one of many examples.
3552057
Wow, that's some high praise (at least to me). Thank you kindly. And don't fret too much, as I have longer projects I'm working on. One such should start being released very soon, in fact, once I review it some more and make sure it's good enough for submission. I'll try not to disappoint you, or anyone else.
As for Babs.... I'm not sure I've seen anything quite like what I have in mind. I'm not really sure if it's been done before, but it's an idea I've had for a while and something I've been wanting to work on. I'll just have to see how well I can put it together. It was indeed an interesting episode, and it's a bit too bad we didn't get to see more of the bully trio's dynamic. But filling in the gaps is what fanwork is for, I suppose. Best of luck to you as well, and I hope you had a nice Thanksgiving as well.
3553278
Heh, good point.
That was made of so much adorable that the Cake Twins in a ticklefight would be hard-pressed to compete with it. You did a great job conveying emotion without explicitly pointing it out, and the little touches of the girls talking about their families really fleshed out their characters and gave them a sense of "being in a larger world" despite the story being so very short. It's something a lot of writers don't really think about, as focused as they can be on conveying a given moment. It feels like a small part of the bigger story of life instead of a self-contained moment of time devoid of context.
Very, very well done.
3557572
"If a thing like this is worth doing at all, it's worth doing right."
- Raoul Duke/Hunter S. Thompson
Thank you very much. For this piece, I just did what felt right to me and tried to make something worth reading, even if it doesn't have much going on plot-wise. Having them talk about their families seemed like the thing to do, since it's what I figure these two kids would probably talk about on a weekend when school isn't on their minds as much.
I typically strive for authenticity and a true-to-life feel with my work, and this story is no exception. If it makes it feel like this is part of a larger world where more than just this moment occurs, that's because it really is and this moment is just what we're happening to see right now. That's how I see it, anyway, but I'm not most people. I'm also a veteran roleplayer (mostly tabletop), so that probably has something to do with it. I'm glad you liked it.
Loved it!
D'awww!
A nice vignette, and one which succeeds in making Ponyville's least sympathetic characters seem human. Well, equine. Nicely done.
3767271
Thank you kindly. I did my best to portray them as being not flat antagonists, but just two friends spending time together.
Very sweet story.
I enjoyed it a lot.
Dawwww
Now that's how you tell a gal you like her.
Cute.
Cute story, I really like it. Thumbs up!
awwwwwww! They didn't kiss!
It was a great story, though
I read it again, maybe for the third or fourth time actually. And I have to say you REALLY succeeded in what you set out to do. I love how both Silver and Diamond seemed to know what the other was talking about even though neither just came out and said it. It feels so natural and a precursor to having them develop their relationship beyond mere friendship.
Once again this is one of my fav fics depicting my OTP. Thanks so much for writing!
Awww, this is cute! Silver's confession does seem a little sudden though, but otherwise, beautiful imagery!
8610228
Hmm. Now that you mention it, yeah, it kinda comes outta left field. Could've had a better lead-in. Ah well. Thank you kindly, and I'm glad you liked it.
Very nice story, I love these two characters together. I am a big fan of Astronomy - and seeing Silver Spoon interested in it makes her even more of my favorite character.