Wow, this is some epic story.

TRACKED.

Oh, and i didnt found any (other) grammar thingies, Only this:

"That earned her a laugh from her friends. Even Pinkie laughed too. Bu then when Twilight turned the page,"

That is supposed to be but, Or.. MAYBE ITS AN EPIC NEW LANGUAGE!

Keep this up, i love it... already

Cheese out!

Cool lets all go camping

tracking

first few sentences- lol wut?

next few sentances- hmm.....not bad...

last few sentances- NEXT CHAPTER! NOOOW!

The story is MOTHERFUCKING EPIC!

BUT 1 problem. You said the Elements of Nature. Where does Plasma come into that?!?!

You could have used Lightning,Plant, or something.

Imma track this one now

hmm from harmony to elements of earth eh? tracking...

To quote pinkie “Omigosh omigosh omigosh!"

I'm ssssooooo excited

Looking forward to more

Hello everypony! Stalin the stallion is here, bringing another installation of "Stalinview"

"The most peaceful place in all the worlds"

Looks like you have never heard of carebears and their Care-a-lot (And if you dont, good for you. Carebears are DISGUISTING)

Man, you're missing a lot of comas here and there.

“We’re just heading out to Zecora’s place in the Everfree Forest.”

Mentioning of Everfree forest is unnesessary. The only point to mention it is to tell reader that Zecora live here,

but since it is fanfic, everypony already knows it. Including mare 6

“Spike put that back and then let’s go.”

Put that ... what?

"He picked up the book, and got on a ladder to stick it back where it used to go."

Dude, no offence, but you need a proofreader.

"“Sorry, AJ. I’ve been living here for months. And I’ve never even noticed a door like that before.” Twilight answered."

Ok, i can buy it, since her attention is always occupied by books

"“What a surprise. It’s a book.” Rainbow Dash said with obvious sarcasm."

Eh, Rainbow. How quickly you have forgotten your lesson from "Read it and Wheep"

"Zecora wants us"

Incorrect verb. You really need an editor. "Zecora wants us" either means that

"She want our heads", "She want us to serve her" or "She wants to have sex with us"

"Fluttershy asked anyone"

"Anyone" never used like this

“I’m trying to at least get a clue of what this book is or where it’s from.” Twilight responded. “I knew I should have studied foreign languages while I was in Canterlot.”

Whole Twilight's behavior makes sense here.

“Ah my friends, how good to view. But I must ask something of you.”

Stalin recommends you to pace Zecora's talking like an actual rhytm.

"Ah, my friends, how good to view.

But I must ask something of you."

"“And since I will be gone for long, would you six mind house-sitting while I’m gone?”"

Ehhh Zecora, you DO aware that they have their jobs, do you? Also differenciase words. Same word over and over is a bad thing.

"“Sure. We can do that no problem.” Rainbow Dash said. “As long as it doesn’t cut into my trick practice.”"

Eh, dear Rainbow. YOu sure forgets your responcibilities fast.

Ah, a book from Nigeria!

Alamante, huh. Ok.

"From what Twilight got from that, it meant, Zecora’s homeland is another country called Alamante. It’s a peaceful place with tribes, but recently danger has come to the place."

Dude. We are not stupid. You don't need to explain it to us.

"Fire, water, wind, ice, earth, and plasma"

Stalin is not sure about plasma. In physics and chemistry, plasma is a state of matter similar to gas in which a certain portion of the particles are ionized. Heating a gas may ionize its molecules or atoms (reduce or increase the number of electrons in them), thus turning it into a plasma, which contains charged particles: positive ions and negative electrons or ions. Ionization can be induced by other means, such as strong electromagnetic field applied with a laser or microwave generator, and is accompanied by the dissociation of molecular bonds, if present.

Maybe you should consider "Lightning" or "Ether"?

"“Already countless innocent ponies have been slaughtered.” Rarity read."

Zebras. Not ponies. If Zecora is from Alamante, it should be country of zebras.

"“Hitashi Ma?” Applejack repeated. “Who was this pony?”"

Zebra, AJ. And why he have japanese name?

Ok thne. This wraps up this chapter.

OVERALL:

Dude, again, no offence, but you really need an editor.

A lot of structural errors, abscence of comas, some gramm errors.

Story itself is intriguing enough, not counting some minor problems. It's worth to read, but you still need an editor.

You can ask somepony to edit it for you (I won't). Or you can find avaliable editors in "autor's help"  group Stalin is currntly in.

Either way, good luck.

so you finally put this here from fan fiction huh..................

WOHO!!!!

Flame On - Tony Iommi feat. Ian Astbury

Electric Hellfire - Black Label Society

Next chapter please.

Anyways, I can't wait to see what happens next

Moar give moar the blood god demands it

>>340652340652>>340696340696

4-10 chapters are available starting here:

clicky!

The Nightmare is pleased you shall be spared in the new reing of chaos and terror (Lol)

“Whatever you do, don’t throw up.” I bet at least one of them will

“Just have Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo do it. We shouldn’t be gone for very long.” Twilight suggested.

TWILIGHT YOU FOOL!!!  WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!!!  

>>340785340785 ohhh! Yay

T-t-tracked!

Nightmare really needs to read Evil Overlord's list. Then again, lists are more of Twilight's thing. Hence we come to conclusion, that Twi is better suited for being evil Overlord than Nightmare

My, my,my! Did I justt read a Power Ranger parody? If it isn't, the lines ALMOST match the movie!

i sware too celestia they summon a megazord i am gonna flip my shit xD

>>348018348018

Don't worry. I'm not THAT crazy. And I'm surprised at how many people actually got that reference.

Agua Isn't the stubborn heartless mule I though he was.

He's just stubborn

The rock cracked open...and inside was FIRE

can't wait for next ch.

Well, I can see where this is going, but I could be wrong.

I shall wait egerly for the next chapter

that french seemed pretty german. Ja?

I really like Pyro alot, and Terra too.

I fear for RD

one tear that seems WAY too extreme

Everypony wants to cause some sort of harm to Agua it seems. Of course his general attitude is mainly to blame but that's actually what makes him kinda funny.

I hope Roseluck doesn't use the shovel method often. There are few enough stallions around Ponyville as it is without them being knocked upside the head every so often.

I like how Rarity just adds "Well, that one way to get a date". Got a chuckle out of me.

>>341642341642

Oh, please. Nothing can go wrong.

Image: http://images.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/thumb/mlfw3523.gif

frozen in ice yay

that was outrageous, but awesome

how did Cryo get a hold of human music anyway?

can't wait for more

Image: http://i126.photobucket.com/albums/p88/Black_Fire_2302/PINKIE-SPLOSION-Pinkie-Pie-Fireworks-Explosion.gif

My reaction to this chapter ^

I'll admit that this is the first time I've heard the song Moves like Jagger and now I can't get it out of my head. It's officially a pony song in my books.

>>385513385513 dido

Yay Updates

good story, have noticed a few mistakes here and there like 'His brotherly extinct was at a high level' don't you mean 'instinct'?

if you need a pre-reader, I'll happily be one

Heh heh.... I recognize that bridge scene. Personal favorite, actually.

Oh god.  Now that is something I do want to see.

Cyro x Pinkie would make an excellent combo.

http://screensnapr.com/v/1SNbB8.png

Out of context

another extremely good chapter, you sure know how to mix funny and serious very well

I know this was publised before Dragon Quet, but apparently, even ponies can stick around areas with lava without suffocating from the heat. Either that or Twilight used a "heat veil" spell of some kind.

ughh gun control 100% against it

Hold on. Aren't there any repercussions or any negative side effects for Pyro's insomnia spell? There has to be something.

Little request: Can you fix up the grammar of the chapter. And ponify the lyrics, if you know what I mean?

Hey, that bridge scene's straight from Avatar: The Last Airbender. In the episode "Tales of Ba Sing Se", the short involving the girls. Also, now I get how the music got there. Guess there's no need to ponify them after all.

Magic

Earth

Wind

Fire

Water

Lightning

Just some random thoughts, is all.

The CMC in Zecora's hut? I smell a shitstorm brewing...

Faved! This is an awesome story.

YES YES YES YS YEEEEEEEEES!

You included Gem!

I am writing a fic about her, and it is nice to see that we both know about her.

another awesome chapter! keep it up

At least, I think the Gem you are talking about is the one created by cyoterainbow on deviantart.

Am I to be mistaken?

>>626735626735

Yes u are. Thid a different Gem that belongs to me. Shes on my DA page.

>>627607627607 Gotcha.  Thanks.

Hmm…I was left with a bad taste in my mouth. While I did like the history lesson and seeing Cheerilee go ballistic, I don't like it that Silver Spoon is just as bitchy as Diamond Tiara is (After "Family Appreciation Day, I usually saw her to be less so."). Or that she would be the first to assault with the apple. The nerve of you!

Also…

Magic

Earth

Wind

Fire

Water

Lightning

I wonder how to make this my sig...

plasma... plasma is my only problem in here the five clasical elements are air, water, earth, fire, and the void you could add in something like heart rather than ice which is water-fire or water+air depends on who you ask.

There is a bit to much human feeling in this chapter.

*strokes chin* you are being redundant also racial skills that could not be conected with established ones are a tad hard to sollow. For others (ie deer, elephants, antalope, camals) easier to take.

Agua is not a happy pony...This may end up in a flooded spa...

And 2 raging mares.

Am liking the look of the story, gona give it a track and read it in a bit.

Also an evil force thought to be gone? everything changed when the fire nation attacked, is what im getting.

But the question is, will Twilight and her friends be able to take the heat, or will they just get burned?

YES! AND IT IS BACK!!!

So many revelations...Agua being a (semi-) nice guy...that ass of a shopkeeper...and Pyro the living rocket.

And Terra...about to kick some flank.

agua you bastard xD your having SEX with a married mare! fleur you slut! when yo husband hears get ready for devorce or doggy postition!

Although i like this story, i have some criticisms:

1.the elementals seem quite OP making everyone else seem useless

2. Anthro or pony? I cant seem to tell at times.........

3.all 6 of em seem to have quite the borderline Mary sue! be careful.

4.Cheating? seriously? what you gonna do? beat her husband?

Well Zecora's house is gona burn down.

P

> “….aaaand he’s back.” He muttered under her breath.

What?

>>10039681003968

Not anthro.

>>10076581007658

fixed

>>10078081007808

Thank you.

>>793727793727 Actually, the classic elements are Air, Fire, Water, Earth, and Spirit. I happen to feel I'm more attuned to Ice myself than water, so no problems there. As for plasma.. well, I see that people seem to have a problem with this, but based on the definition of plasma which Stalin provided us, I can actually see it as a superheated beam of energy type thing that causes things to turn to plasma. Of course, blood has also been referred to as plasma in other settings, so (and note I haven't read any more than this chapter currently) it could be referring to blood magic as well, though, while that might be cool, I somehow doubt it.

My only problem with the story thus far is that the Elements of Harmony are nowhere near as weak and helpless as you have made them out to be. I get that you want to show the power of the elemental ponies, but RD would never cower behind a rock.. she attacked the manticore and the dragon head on. Twilight.. may not know any true attack spells, as it isn't exactly in her nature, but she isn't helpless either. She'd either teleport somewhere or use magic to try and bind / incapacitate the enemies.. maybe not the 10 on 6 battle a couple chapters ago, but definitely in the 6 on 1 one, and she could have helped out in this battle as well. AJ wouldn't have just stood there either, she'd have tried to lasso / buck them. My point is that so far, they have not been true to character. I hope this changes soon..

>>10233011023301

Just you wait.

Looking good! glad to see you're still updating!

five bucks says that fluttershy is some type of psycick

Exactly.

>>10231591023159

Some think of spirit as light, since both are everywhere. Also i feel closer to Earth fire and wind. That combo can be bad. any advice?

bildxncdifn.dlxn v.k xz fkdllziv.kz,dx. the puns they hurt.

WITH YOUR POWERS COMBINED I AM CAPTAIN PLANET. Sorry i just had to put this joke here. Worth it.

Nice. By the way so many pus i cant list them

>>11289441128944

So many what?

Finally, someone who sees nature as we humans here do.

After looking at the cutie marks of the Alamantians, I think it's safe to say that Alamante=Japan

I hail from the country of Alamante. Long ago, it used to be a peaceful country and the six tribes lived together in harmony. But then everything changed when the Ember tribe attacked.

Anyone else get that vibe?

someone educate this mare on what a pinkie promise is and have her promise this way not to smoke. That way she will get so much things from pinkie if she does it... or something along those lines

>>627607627607

“Um…what’s with the impending rape face?” Agua asked.

Nice one

>>10246101024610

Did you really have to add the last part?

Plasma? Not Lightning? Hm... :3

Laughed at the last bit  

Dayum, SA's racist.

Discrimination. I can't believe it exists in Equestria...

wow who'd a thorght shinny is a racist

Why make the Equestrian ponies so useless? Shining getting beaten by only 1? Celestia doing nothing during the fight and then running behind a door to hide? LOL!. Next are you going to make Pyro a faster flyer then Rainbow Dash when flying is her specialty?

>>12930751293075

I'm not really proud of it myself. I was in a bit of a rush and I was originally gonna give them more of a role.

>>12930751293075

Celestia really does nothing and got beat by a pony at the end of season 2 easily. She isnt all powerful. And the equestrian ponies are used to peace not having to fight so they would need time to adjust to that mind state

I think the reason Shinning's racist is because of the Changeling invasion. Ever since then. He wouldn't treat anything that isn't an Equestrian pony with respect. Am I right?

>>13069321306932

Yea I guess I'm just used to stories like The immortal Game where everyone is OP.

This story's now AU. Why? Because in the Season 3 2-parter, Twilight cast a spell on herself (aside from teleportation) twice; levitation, and reverse gravity. And there were no ill effects.

>>16037551603755

eh. I'll make it work.