One night....
One dark night, an insane cult attempted to revive nightmare moo- I mean, the troll god.
"Sell Nefus, the spell is almost complete!"
In the middle of intricately drawn lines which held no real purpose whatsoever, were the four pieces of the troll god's head, assembled to look vaguely like a dong. Among the lines were various cats, also placed for no reason whatsoever. They constantly smudged out the lines, which meant they had to be handled by some of the members of the cult. Why they were tied up is beyond me.
No it isn't. You're just a shitty writer.
Quiet, you.
Sell Nefus cackled for no reason whatsoever. He then remembered that the cult still needed the fucks of a pony.
Instead of extracting them from one of the members by telling them they were to be killed, like any logical pony would, he waited for the army he had sent to Ponyille, consisting of his best soldiers to return.
The four hobos coated in cardboard armor and armed with wooden twigs held there struggling hostage. It had not been easy catching the hostage. It's two companions, the little white one and the little yellow one had easily killed their other twenty soldiers, and had only defeated them by scaring them off with 'boo' sounds.
"Let me go!" Squealed Scootaloo.
"That's s*xcom baby." Said the four fully grown stallions.
The filly was taken to Sell Nefus. He had studied the inhabitants of the empire known as Ponyville, and knew exactly what to say to obtain the fucks he needed from the filly.
He beckoned her close. (She was dragged close by the stallions), and whispered in her ear,
"I am a very tall midget."
Scootaloo stopped squirming, and stared at him.
"Really? You kidnapped me to tell me something that stupid?"
One of the cult members walked up to Sell Nefus and whispered-
"Wrong pony sir."
"Huh, I thought this one was Lyra Heartstrings."
He then stood, and for no reason whatsoever, asked in the royal canterlock voice,
"WHAT IS YOUR NAME?"
"Sc-Scootaloo!"
"OH. IN THAT CASE, PRETEND I NEVER TOLD YOU WHAT I SAID EARLIER, AND INSTEAD HEAR THIS."
He then whispered in the filly's ear,
"You will never get your cutie mark."
The number of fucks given by the filly was enough. Sell Nefus laughed, and said-
"I LIED!"
Amazingly, the cracks in the troll god's head were covered by glue and cellotape, the fucks giving it the power of life.
Then, an energy wave was released, turning all the ponies except for Scootaloo into 14 year old Nazis.
Then, from the head sprouted a body.
And the Troll God, was reborn.
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Weeeeeeeeeee- Now I'm bored.
3785816
Is that a good thing or a bad thing?
Oh god. You sir, are the master of troll stories. THIS MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE!!!
3785817 That's how fast I read the last chapter.
Ah, references to Past Sins
Unless it's not and I only think so because I'm tired as fuck right now.
3800470
What reference to past sins? There aint no reference to past sins, no siree!
*Whistles nonchalantly, which dosent work because I have no idea how to whistle.*
3788575
I am merely describing my Tuesdays sir. Nothing more, nothing less.
3801198 Where do you live? I want to join you!
3801997
I live in the solace of my mind, my beautiful, beautiful mind.
3802007
3801198
3921481
Or it will be doomed. At the moment the doom is on hiatus.
I plan for a ridiculously anti- climatic ending.
cheese.
3940293
Crackers.
3943768
Tom the rock.
3944059
Madame le bread- Now deceased.
3944253
Derpy hooves
4070097
Her face is so beautiful.
It is a curse against all that is insane.
I eagerly await the first chapter from another author. (That means you.)
If free chapters which are just as terrible as the ones I made earlier are needed, just ask!
4231799 Thanks :)
4487515
Your welcome. I know the feel of writers block.....
As I said, need help, just ask.
4489918 Sure :)
4636537 Feel free to thank boothnat for it :3
4636537
You have a butt den?
I WANT ONE!
4648170
Which class are you in?
Or, to be more accurate, which part of school? Curious :P
4692843 Intermediate (that's middle school for the 'muricans.)
4711183
Ah. Cool.
th07.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/f/2010/189/d/f/trollface_by_deniskaPWNZ.png
fc09.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2012/336/d/d/mexican_troll_face_by_mariodude12312-d5mtl9z.png