• Member Since 1st Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen 4 hours ago

SuperPinkBrony12


I'm a brony and a Pinkie Pie fan but I like all of the mane six, as well as Spike. I hope to provide some entertaining and interesting fanfics for the Brony community.

E
Source

We already know that there exists an alternative universe where the Elements of Harmony bearers are stallions. And we already know that in that universe rule 63 is in full effect.

But whoever said rule 63 is the only way to create a stallion mane six? What if show canon stallions took up the roles of the mane six?

Well you're about to find out.

After learning from his sister Twilight Sparkle about the potential return of Nightmare Moon Shining Armor tries to warn Princess Celestia.

Not long afterward the youngest member of the royal guard learns he will be traveling to Ponyville to oversee security for the upcoming Summer Sun Celebration, and while he's there he is to make some friends. A task that Shining Armor doesn't think is that important. That soon changes.

Follow the adventures of Shining Armor and his friends, from facing down evils like Nightmare Moon and Discord, to simply learning more about the magic of friendship. And watch as they grow closer together in the process.

(Arcs
The Return of Nightmare Moon (Chapters 1-12): Shining Armor travels to the town of Ponyville, concerned about the possibility of the return of Nightmare Moon. When his fears turn out to be correct, he enlists the unlikely help of five stallions on a perlious quest to find The Elements of Harmony and save Equestria from eternal night.
Life In Ponyville (Chapters 13-26): While preparing for The Grand Galloping Gala, Shining Armor and his friends spend more time getting to know each other, and learn valueable lessons about the magic of friendship. And in the process, they are drawn closer together.
The Battle With Discord (Chapters 27-38): Shining Armor and his friends are pitted against the wicked master of chaos, Discord, and his mind games. As friendships break down and Shining faces his darkest hour, it will take an unlikely pony to save him.
Aftermath (Chapters 39-46): Discord may have been defeated, but the mental scars left from his encounter will take time to heal. While Shining Armor recovers from a serious mental breakdown, he must also contend with changes in the lives of his friends.
Royal Wedding (Chapters 47-55): The anticipated wedding of Shining Armor and Cadence is ready to begin. But when an unknown threat is made against Canterlot and supsicion falls on Cadence, it's up to Shining Armor's sister, Twilight, to find out what's going on.
Empire And Fears (Chapters 56-64): With the return of the long lost Crystal Empire, comes a new threat to the safety of Equestria, the evil King Sombra. Shining Armor must find a way to save his new kingdom from falling into the greedy hooves of its former ruler, while also overcoming his own self doubts in the wake of what happened at his wedding.
Prince Shining (Chapter 65-77): Completing a spell left unfinished by the great Starswirl The Bearded, Shining Armor ascends into alicornhood and becomes Equestria's first alicorn prince. But when Princesses Celestia and Luna go missing before The Summer Sun Celebration, Shining Armor finds himself delving into the past in search of answers to the crisis.
Quest For The Keys (Chapters 78-95): With the Elements of Harmony now returned to their original resting place, a new puzzle has presented itself to Shining and his friends in the form of a mysterious chest. Though answers seem to be non-existent, Shining Armor and the stallions will soon find their greatest attributes tested, as Equestria faces its greatest threat yet.
The Village With No Cutie Marks (Chapters 96-107): A table map in Shining Armor's new castle, leads him and his friends to a village at the edge of Equestria. There, they discover that the village leader, Starlight Glimmer, posses a dark secret.
Map Missions and Changes (Chapters 108-121): Although Starlight remains at large, the table map opts to send Shining Armor and his friends on missions all over Equestria to spread friendship. But as Shining adjusts to new developments in his life, an unseen threat plots revenge.
A Flurry of a Crystalling (Chapters 122-131): Cadence has given birth to a baby alicorn, and Shining Armor has gained a new student in the form of Starlight Glimmer. But as Starlight struggles to reconnect with an old friend, the new baby's powers threaten to bury the Crystal Empire in a blizzard of snow.
Shining and Starlight's Studies (Chapters 132-138): Despite the recent changes in his life, Shining is still the inexperienced teacher of former baddy, Starlight Glimmer, and must do his best to help her learn the magic of friendship. In the meantime, new developments in the lives of Shining's friends and new allies, will ensure there's never a dull moment for the gang.
Changeling Crisis (Chapters 139-150): Starlight must confront her inner fears and doubts, when she is unexpectedly thrust into the role of leader in Shining Armor's absence. And with Queen Chrysalis and her changelings on the loose, an unexpected team must mount a rescue effort in the heart of the Changeling kingdom.
New Lease on Life (Chapters 151-169): With Starlight no longer a student of Shining Armor's, and Flurry Heart demanding more attention, life is changing drastically for the prince. But lurking around the corner, is another great adventure that will be unlike any other for Shining and his friends.
School of Friendship (Chapters 170-180): An expanding table map in Ponyville gives Twilight the idea to open her very own "School of Friendship" for creatures all over the world. But while Shining is thrust into the role of a diplomat, an old foe decides to abduct some of the students.
Bonds Beyond Equestria (Chapters 180-196): Twilight's school is up and running, and six particular students are developing and expanding their friendship. However, as Shining copes with yet more changes to his life, a mysterious newcomer at the school secretly begins to set their own plans into motion.
The Fading Magic (Chapters 187-196): When magic in Equestria starts to disappear, suspicion falls on Tirek and Shining sets off to Tartarus to confront the centaur only to end up trapped! Meanwhile, Twilight and the others are distracted by the return of Chancellor Neighsay while the real culprit hides under their noses.
Royal Retirement Woes (Chapters 197-208): Celestia and Luna announce their decision to step down from the throne and give the reigns to Shining Armor and his friends. While he mulls over this life changing offer, Shining is unaware that a long forgotten threat has brought back other threats, including a resurrected King Sombra!
What Lies Beyond (Chapters 209-230): Times are changing in Equestria as the retirement of the royal sisters looms overhead. While Shining Armor and his friends cope with changes in their life, they are unaware of a threat that is growing and gathering allies!
Final Battle (Chapters 218-230): On Shining Armor's coronation day Grogar unleashes his Legion of Doom on Equestria, throwing everything into chaos. Shining and his friends will have to rely on every connection and every alliance to stand a chance!
(Cover art by TheCrystalKing.)

Chapters (230)
Comments ( 1275 )

A good first chapter that got me interested.

HOW CAN YOU SEND SPIKE WITHOUT TWILIGHT SPARKLE!? HE'S HER #1 ASSISTANT! HOW DARE YOU SEPARATE SPIKE FROM THE MARE WHO RAISED HIM!

*I use Cadence's breathing technique.*

Sorry had to get that out of my system. All in all, it was a great chapter. and that part with the guards and then with the Captain of the Royal Guard, classic. I'll bet those two guards get demoted if not discharged from the Royal Guard. Got to read the next chapter, this is getting good.

You left that chapter wide open. I mean who's replacing Pinkie Pie? You did say it was a mare who gasped and not a stallion when he first arrived. I will admit, having Braeburn be in this one makes me wonder if it will be him, or Big Mac who's the element of honesty in this story. Keep on making chapters for this, it's really good.

"It is quite fascinating." replied a lavender unicorn mare. Her name was Twilight Sparkle and she and Shining Armor were brothers. "But"

...That's new.

I already know what Braeburn's element will be since some people i know on this site say he's a lot like a certain pink baker.

Nicely done, now, I think that leaves the eccentric party stallion. Who will it be, a relative of Pinkie Pie's or a pony at random? We'll just have to wait and see.

3522559
We actually can't be sure if Braeburn is one of the bearers of the elements of harmony. It actually might be Big Mac, after reading that last chapter. Now concerning Fancy Pants, Soarin, and Thunderlane, those are givens of what they will bare. I do like the fact that 2 of the 6 bearers are undecided still like I just said, who will be the party eccentric stallion and is it Braeburn or Big Mac who will be one the element bearers?

I can already tell you've improved quite a bit :twilightsmile: Keep impressing me :heart:

Good luck Shining Armor, you and your friends are going need it to deal with Nightmare Moon

3524373 Yup, and I intend to make her at the least a little less generic. You know, a little more of an actual villan.

"You, are so, beautiful." Rarity said "Do you think that perhaps tonight the two of us could go out to dinner somewhere?"

"I'm sorry ma-ma." Shining Armor said

Freudian! :rainbowderp: Kidding, it just struck me as a funny typo.

:pinkiegasp: Twilight is in Ponyville? How will this play out the rest of the story? Well, it seems all the Element bearers have been revealed. Now it's time to reveal the mane event. I wonder if it's gonna be more then Nightmare Moon herself? Will she possibly be with a stallion alicorn of the night?

This is one of my fav fanfics please update soon

Uh oh. This is not good. Shining Armor and his sister better find those elements of Harmony soon.

Soarin doesn't seem like the type to leap to conclusions and resort to violence so easily.

3537701 Well he's taking Rainbow Dash's place for the stallion mane six so he had to have some parallels to her. Plus if one considers the theory that the Wonderbolts are the equivalent of the U.S. Air Force then Soarin as Co Commander of such an elite force would naturally view someone who knew a lot about an unknown enemy as a spy.

3537741

If you follow that theory, then he would know better than to behave that way.

Threatening an potential suspect in an open area while you don't know if there are other hostiles?
Bad move.

3537771 Never said Soarin was the best at making decisions. Ponies are flawed after all.

3537786

And that's why it doesn't work.

The second in command of the Air force equivalent is a hot-headed, impulsive stallion, who's first impulse on capturing a possible spy is to tell at him and threaten to beat him up?

If this is just going to be the stallions with more canon-mane six influenced personalities, then what's the point of using them?

3537826 Don't worry, that's the most hotheaded you'll see Soarin. He was just under a lot of stress from dealing with Rainbow Dash and wasn't thinking straight. He's usually quite nice.

not the manliest chapter. xD xD

Though it was good.

*Gulp.* Don't go in there! It's too Dangerous! Ah, never mind. We gotta stop Nightmare Moon. Lets go. That's how I think Braeburn would react.

Oh boy, singing time coming. Great chapter, keep going.

I'll give you this much, you're good at updating

Very good chapter and nice spin off with the Wonderbolts instead of the Shadowbolts. I can't wait to read the next chapter, update soon.

Will Nightmare Moon be defeated like in the show, or will there be a new twist to your story. Only the next chapter will reveal, update when you can.

Man oh man, do I ever hate needing to be the bad guy...

Look, I can respect wanting to do an AU retelling of the first two episodes. I'm part of a group dedicated to joining our respective AU's, I'm helping a friend of mine write one, and really it's surprising just how many different and interesting ways this fandom can come up with retellings of Season 1's pilot episodes.

But the fact of the matter is that these sorts of fics succeed or fail based on how interesting the concept is and how well it's executed. And while I grant you points on the concept, it suffers heavily in the execution.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with trying to do Friendship is Magic with a group of stallions rather than the canon Mane 6. And yes, writing story where Shining Armor needs to be the one to stop Nightmare Moon as opposed to Twilight has a lot of potential. But the problem is that you're not doing anything with this idea.

AU Pilots work best when you take the episodes in the broadest strokes possible (evil threat is returning to Equestria, Elements of Harmony needed to stop them, reluctant visitor to town and five unlikely friends unite to save the day), and then fill in the details based on what your AU changes (What if Celestia turned evil instead of Luna? What if Spike was the pony instead of Twilight? What if the whole thing took place in a different city entirely?).

You're not doing that. You've added Shining Armor and had him bump into each of the Mane 6, which is fine nothing wrong with nods to the canon. But each of the stallions that join him for this adventure pretty much fills the same role as the mare they're replacing. Heck, Shining even runs into them at the same time as the mare they're meant to take the place of. There's no consideration for how the story would be different if Shining Armor were in Twilight's place. Just him going through the same motions as his younger sister, running into different characters in the same places for increasingly contrived reasons.

Even that could be forgiven depending on how the adventure in the Everfree Forest is managed, but it's the same problem. No consideration for how each of these guys might embody their Element in a different way. Just copy/paste their names into the same scenario, touch up the dialogue a bit, and post it.

Like I said, I really hate needing to play the bad guy here. But I read through all nine chapters (at time of writing) that you currently have posted and honestly? I would have gotten the exact same experience by watching Season 1's opening with my eyes closed and mentally subbing out the names for the characters you used. And for an attempt at an AU, that's not a good thing.

P.S.

3537835

Are you serious? Show don't tell is the cardinal rule for any creative media be it movies, comics, or writing. A comment written in response to somebody else's comment does not constitute characterization. And you didn't show anything to really differentiate Soarin' from Rainbow Dash in the story, he acts just like her. For that matter, so did each of the others in regards to their respective replacements.

If you want to see the "Shining Armor in place of Twilight" concept done well, I'd recommend taking a peak at this story:

Make Some Friends, Shining Armor

Maybe looking this over this and some of the AU's in the Crossover-verse can help you find a way to execute the idea better next time.

It's party time next chapter I feel.

3547892 Guess you've forgotten how she looked in the pilot. Lauren Faust's explanation for Luna's new design in Season 2 and beyond was that Luna had regained some of her powers by that point. In a sense when we saw her in Season 1 she was in a weakened state.

Overall, I think this story has a good concept behind it. Interesting choice of characters, but there was very little done to differentiate them from their canon counterparts. For me, they felt more like gender-swaps of the regular Mane6 than developed characters in their own right, even in scenes where the canon 6 are standing right next to them. So, yeah, ambitious idea, but the execution didn't feel like it lived up to that ambition.

3548362 Well I have plans to make this into a series in 2014 with episodes being modfied or even skipped based on the different behaviors of the new cast.

3548085 no. I managed to skip the entire paragraph that introduced her and thought you didn't add her in. :facehoof: :derpytongue2:

Just one little question. How will Cadence react to all of this?:rainbowderp:

Login or register to comment