World of Tanks player(ironically same as my username here), FimFiction author and viewers, WarThunder player(still the same username) and etc.
Bismarck, the first of the two ships in the Bismarck-class of the Kriegsmarine, has been, with her escort Prinz Eugen,got teleported by a bright flash into Equestria. Now, in very computative matter, the German Fleet, from Operation: Rheinübung, to Equestria, must now think of a way to get the hell out of here and continue with the Operation.
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Well, what do you want to hear first? Good or bad?
Ok, well good news first then:
The concept is solid, being a battleship everyone knows, and sending it to Equestria. The basic idea feels solid (one I wanted to do at some point, but y'know, win some lose some) and I can imagine it going any number of ways.
Problem is that's pretty much the only good news. The way you wrote it made it feel more like a history book at first (which I don't personally have a problem with, but others will) and the dialogue between everyone feels a little awkward; especially with the ponies. Most of their dialogue feels odd, misplaced, and out-of-character.
It feels like you tried to squeeze in a lot for just the prologue, and it's a bit short and rushed. There's no real explanation for going there other than a flash, which can be rather annoying. Also, things seem to pop up out of nowhere without enough forewarning and explanation.
Grammar is alright, but there's still error. Things like no indenting of paragraphs, semi-colon, commas, the usual.
But there's still odd bits like this-
where i'm guessing you just placed an exclamation point there by mistake.
Another problem is with sentencing-
Instead of three sentences, this can be broken down into one by place a semi-colon after 'Princess' and placing a comma after 'hang on'.
So, there's all that. I can get it if English isn't your main language, but do try some things before publishing. Read up on it more before trying again. Also, i'm sure someone here would be willing to pre-read for you before you publish.
3401657
"I hate Illinois Nazis..."
3401729 fix the cigarette lighter.
German
3401815
"Where's the caddy?"
"I traded it for a microphone."
Please tell me they have a submarine with them. I wanna see the ponies' faces when they see it sink itself, then a few hundred yards away, it re-surfaces.
3405294 Hahaha! That's a story for next time. But, if that's a suggestion, I don't know. Maybe. XD
Sekunde Deckeschultz, feuer fries!
This looks good.
I was imagining Pinkie singing Sink the Bismarck!
i'm going to take a guess that we're witnessing a Pony version of the Battle of the Denmark Strait
And then all da pony ships asploded and da Jrmins wuz victoreeis and dey went bac to da real wrld and wuz kild by da murricins.
3408165 XD Hahahaha!
3408165 Don't worry. The Germans will wreak havoc until they do no more.
(I keep nationalistic thoughts in my head.)
Bismarck? Sailing?! I know it sound good but... well, I'd like to see those sails.
Sink the Canterlot!!!
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHANAHAHA!!!
3410153 Uhm....Actually, Bismarck is a modern Battleship, and the 'sailing' I'm referring is the one that she and her escort are now moving across the Equestrian Sea.
3410274 Don't worry. The Germans(which I will tell you all) will bombard the pony ship with ease. >:D
3410729 Actually, 'Bismarck' is the actual name. Try to search it in Google.
ZE PONIES! ZEY SHALL ALL DIE IN A STORM OF BURNING WRECKAGE AND WATER DROWNING THE FEW WHO ARE STILL ALIVE AMONGST THE PILES OF CORPSES!
and also, the Yamato shows up and the Japanese aid their German allies.
And what about the S.S. Roma we need another powerful axis ship along with Yamato.
3412194 XD
3412859 S.S Roma?
3412226 Hmmmm.......Maybe?
>:D
Yes......yes.......yeeeeees!!!
*sees the whole Equeatrian fleet*
Fire torpedos!!!
3413592 Uhmm....This particular German fleet does not have torpedoes. U-Boat is the only one.
3413109
Largest ship in the Italian navy encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRHy8FKE8xaA4snjdBqdsVuoeuUGZnTC80r_nvcBlUzRGoqaxlWFw
3413632
Oh well, fire the turrets.
Anyway, if pegasi came to help. That will be unfair. Unfair to the ponies of coarse.
just so you know, it's called the fricken bismark
3413859 Oh ok.
3414398 I'm using the original and very name, which is in German.
3413861 Hahaha! Pegasi, although small, could be scared by AA Fire. Also, the Equestrian Navy has no more ironclad ships. One is still in production, and the ships are now mostly wooden, without any armaments.
3415024oh I never thought you were using the German name
wellllll 
3415056 Years of knowing man.
3415058?
3415067 I know the name before. Got me interested, and that's the laying foundation to know other military equipments. Some.
3415026
Wooden ships don't stand a chance against German firepower. If only the Equestrians gets close enough, then the germans will just throw the potatoe mashers at them.(if they have any)
FEAR MY POTATOE MASHER!!!
3415070 Or(I'm just imagining) they have guns. XD German infantry guns.
3415073
MP-40 maybe. Or the Kar 98r..........maybe the panzeriek?
3415083 You mean panzerfaust?
3415069ohhhh
3415085
Close, the german version of a bazooka.
3415085 and no the panzershreik was a type of German bazooka the panzerfaust were bazookamen and panzer tank crews
3415091 Don't worry. After this, would you please give me a suggestion for a story. It will be great help.