The German Battleship Bismarck is transported to Equestria after being sunk by the fleet of Admiral John Tovey of the British Navy. With 2090 out of the 2200 men in the battleship, the Kriegsmarine sailors will brave uncharted and unknown waters.
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The Equestrian Navy is being equipped with the latest of front-line technology, the 'water-carriage', or ship. It is used by the navy for trading and protecting other ships using pirate-like tactics. However, they would have a shock of their own with the existance of another, unknown ship which seems not to be with theirs or others.
Chapters (8)
Wow! Is it kind of a remake or just something new?
3838003 Nope not a remake. Just something that instantly popped in my head. So yeah it's new. And no plot twists.
The Bismarck was a great piece of design but it had a major floor, and that was it's crew. Apparently if the Bismarck had a good crew, she would be indestructible. P.S the crew of HMS Hood shall always be remembered for their bravery to take on this mighty ship.
3838336 As always...
I just read some of the german line's in this chapter.......and I give you one advice. Never, ever write a german Line again in this Story! I hardly understand the meaning of them! And I must know German, because it is my language!
To the Story itself. I see some promising stuff here, so I keep an eye on this Story.
3838467 Uhm okay. One question: Why do you don't want your national language in the story? Surely you could understand them somehow. :P
I just say. Many Story's with Germans in it have all the same problem. Some Dialogs are writen in the Typical "American"-german, wich is barely understanderble. Others......are in the Quality "Worst Internet Translater that could be found"! The linie's here are, if I be nice, something in the middle between this to things.
3839132 Oh....
I will try to use English words to replace the German ones, but still with a 'said in German' tag.
Do this. Hey, don't get me wrong. Your story has potential, but don't wast it with totally wrong writen German. It is only a friendly advice.
3842583 Ah okay. I just put English in the 2nd chapter for the comrade Germans here so that none of them would rage of ****.
(cellum95, citizen of the Republic of the Philippines)
Hey! you're a year younger than me!
Well, almost a year younger.
3860953 Oh.
3838336
It had a fatal design flaw (outside of the jammed rudder) namely vital systems like fire control and damage control were located above the main armor belt which explains why the British reported silencing Bismarck's main armament so easily
3936916 I totally agree about this. However, in my mind, the Germans thought it would be easier if they are located there.
The German in this fic is shit
3949181 U mad bro?
Sorry, but I'm asking why it's shit for you. I mean, I'm working hard just to get it right, and sometimes I get it and sometimes I do not. I mean, it's not a bad fic, but sometimes my mind is fucking with me right now.
I like it, but why did the Germans just shoot on sight... oh wait... Germans
Heh, I'm looking forward to seeing what the (surviving) members of the Equestrian 2nd Fleet will think of the Bismark when they get in range.... hehehe, I'm gonna be giddy with muzzle plumes.....
Keep up the good work!
more chapters!!!
3949632 Typical Nazi's. :P
3949638 Bring it on Bismarck, shoot them.
3950396
3950897 I will guys.
Word of advice Bismarck had another weakness her AA guns weren't calibrated to hit the slower Swordfish that attacked her. They were calibrated to hit planes like the Hurricane and Spitfire
3938707
If this takes place after Bismarck was sunk wouldn't her rudder still be jammed (and given examination of the wreck impossible for her crew to repair) as well as her main battery and fire control systems (range finders etc.) be knocked out as well, and wouldn't the crew be drifting without leadership since Lutjens and Lindermen were killed when a shell hit the main bridge
3951981 Yup.
3952001 Actually, I used Space-Time continium, meaning that when Bismarck was transported to Equestria, she was repaired completely, but not the crew, since I include the crew only that died with her.
3952001 Actually, I used Space-Time continium, meaning that when Bismarck was transported to Equestria, she was repaired completely, but not the crew, since I include the crew only that died with her.
Nice... Let's remember not everybody on Heers or Kriegsmarine was a convinced Nazi, many of them were your everyday guy, with it's hopes and dreams, brainwashed to think they had the right to defend against a "oppression" only seen by politics.
Would read it and expect lots of d'aawww. "Mein kleinest pfer ist geil!"
3975006 XD
Hold on... Why didn't the plane notice that there weren't humans on that ship? Wouldn't the pilot have found that odd and perhaps reported back? How could the Germans have not noticed they were attacking ships far to primitive to belong to the enemy?
That aside, this is amazing. I love reading about the sheer awesomeness of the Germans in this fic. Poor Equestrians...
3975195 Meh....I used the type of 'The hell with it's just a ship' doctrine. Still, the 2nd Fleet is a convoy and the Bismarck was designed to destroy convoys, if you know what I mean.
3975199 I just noticed a huge hole in your logic here, wouldn't the Bismark and the plane have some sort of way to identify ships? Surly they would have noticed the ships were not like any they have seen before, or that they were colored differently.
3975238 I don't know, maybe they were too focused on killing the ships, or my fucking brain is having shit problems with me. Anyhow, the next chapter might fix that little problem I have.
I have given you a thumbs down. But here's why:
1: your grammar is atrocious.
2: it is clear you didn't read through your chapters before posting them, as there are several sentences and word usages that simply don't make a lick of sense. One example is the repeated use of the word 'scrapping' in context, I'm fairly certain you meant 'strafing' which is to fly by showering a target with machine gun fire.
3: (most severe) the Germans in your story are acting like the boogeyman, attacking unknowns without conscience or remorse. Though The WWII German navy are historical 'bad guys', soilders don't act like that.
When the recon plane spotted the equestrians, the first thing it should have noticed was that the convoy ships didn't bear any resemblance to known structures of any allied ships.
3975257 Alright then, I would like to know that the story will be in Hiatus for a long time until I could fix this fucking brain and my story so that shit won't happen.
3975310
I didn't mean to kill your will to write. The story's rating shows there are 30 some people who are enjoying it, write for them.
Though I suggest reading the story "battleships are magic" to get an idea how to improve yours going forward.
3975334 I already read it for how many times already? Maybe two? That story actually inspired me to create Bismarck stories like 'The Bismarck' and this one.
One other thing about Bismarck is that evidence from the wreck site points to scuttling and the British were known to have left the survivors to their fate. 105 were picked up by Doshetshire another 5 were rescued by U-Boat. Some say the British left because a U-Boat had been sighted others say they left to get revenge for the high loss of men on HMS Hood
One story I'm surprised no one has attempted is what if both Bismarck, Scharnhrost, Gnisenau, and Tirpitz had made that sortie into the Atlantic like the orginal plan had been and ended up in Euquestria
The Griffon Empire had just invented cannons and are going for a test fire at sea.
other ships from earth may appear (USS Arizona?)
3975537 Yeah.
3975848 lol Bismarck already had newer cannons so it's scrap.
3976084 Maybe....I don't know. This story is completely focused on the Bismarck herself. If there are others, then another story perhaps.
3977227
It surprises me everyone goes for Bismarck I have yet to see a story about the Graf Spee, Scharnhorst, Gnisenau and above all Bismarck's sister ship Tirpitz
3978220 I don't know why. :P
I believe the allies should eventually get into equestria (to even things out, and to get soviet ponies, yes I'm serious)
3976084
There are limits to what I will tolerate, Bismarck is close to crossing the line but using Arizona in an MLP Fanfic is insulting not just to her crew but to all who died at Pearl Harbor
3982629 XD Not yet. This fic is classified as humans vs ponies.
3983952 I totally agree. I'm trying my best to lift what was left of the Kriegsmarine here in this fic.