The Life of a Young Colt

by Rakoon1

Shining Armor's Most Important Question

Years passed. Shining Armor, during that time, became a more confident Captain of the Royal Guard. He couldn't only lead the entire Royal Guard pretty well, as he had all the respect from his soldiers and, of course, he always tried to give back all the respect they gave him.

Cadance, as she had told to Shining before he left to the Griffin Kingdom in his first mission, returned to his homeland, where she stayed there all that time, coming to Equestria when she could, despite their royal duties rarely allow her to do that. Shining, on the other hoof, had more availability to go to her homeland.

What worried him the most was his little sister, Twilight, which stopped of being a small filly in order to be a grown young mare. However, without Cadance around and Shining with his time almost always busy, Twilight had almost no company, beyond her faithful assistant, Spike. Gradually, she was becoming increasingly introverted and sheltered, concentrating solely on her studies. The only ponies she really opened herself were Spike, Princess Celestia and, of course, Shining.

Fortunately, it happened a moment that caused a major shift in Twilight. With the approach of the Summer Sun Celebration of the thousandth year, Princess Celestia sent Twilight to Ponyville for she supervise the preparations. However, it all ended with Twilight and her five new best friends defeating Nightmare Moon and turn her back into Princess Luna. But after that, Twilight decided to stay in Ponyville to study friendship and to become closer to her new friends. Despite not having his little sister now as close as before, Shining supported her like any other older brother would, because he was happy that she had gone out of her lonely state that existed since years ago.

One day, Shining received a letter which filled him with great happiness: Cadance was coming to Canterlot. Shining was with such a happiness that everypony could see perfectly. He was waiting for a moment like that, that only intensified the desire he had since days before. All those years dating Cadance had been very, very good, but he had became tired of being separated from her. He wished to have her by his side and feel his love for her fully realized. And there was only one way to do this: ask Cadance for her hoof in marriage.

On the day Cadance would arrive to Canterlot, Shining was in his office, sitting in his chair with the hooves of the hind legs on the table and the hooves of the forelegs behind his head, fixing the ceiling with his dreamy and passionate look. It was almost time to Cadance's arrive. He picked up a velvet box he had kept in his desk and opened it. Inside, was a magnificent horn ring.

The ring had a silver band and a beautiful pink diamond encrusted. That ring was the one his grandfather Star Shield had given to his grandmother Starlight and the one she gave to his father to give to his mother. When his parents learned of his desire to ask Cadance in marriage, they gave him the ring to give to her.

He then heard a knock on the door that startled him, almost causing him to fall down the chair. He closed the box, concealed it, sat normally and said:

"Come in."

The door opened and he saw with great relief that was Blue. For a moment he thought it was Cadance. Blue was not wearing his armor, but he had his saddlebags already prepared.

"May I come in?" Blue asked.

"You know the answer" Shining replied.

Blue came in.

"So, you're going now?" Shining asked, standing up and exiting from behind his desk.

"Yes, my train leaves in a few minutes" Blue replied.

"I can not believe you're gonna take a year off" Shining said.

"I have to go, Shining" Blue said. "I need to make this trip and you know it."

"Well, you know you'll always continue being my first lieutenant and my best friend" Shining said.

"Yes, I know."

"I'm just sorry that maybe you won't come to my wedding with Cadance. I would liked so much that you were my colt of honor. If you want, I can postpone the wedding until..."

"Don't even think about doing that, Shining Armor" Blue said. "If you do, I swear I will not forgive you. I don't want you defy your happiness for me. I also would have to be your colt of honor, but, in contrast, you have a pony that would be a great best mare. She would be more perfect than me."

Shining gave a slight laugh. He knew Blue was talking about Twilight.

"Yes, you're right."

There was a pause and then Blue asked:

"Are you ready to ask the question of your life?"

Shining sighed and replied:

"Actually, I'm a little nervous. Perhaps more than I expected. Just imagining Cadance accepting my marriage proposal, my legs tremble like jello."

"Everything'll be fine, you'll see" Blue reassured, who then looked at his watch. "Well, I gotta go before I miss the train."

"I'll miss you, my friend."

"And I'll miss you, bro" Blue replied.

The two exchanged a strong hug and then Blue left the office.

Later, Shining was walking through the halls of the castle, when suddenly a pair of hooves covered his eyes.

"But what the..." he started.

Shining took his hooves to those that was covering his eyes. The hooves' coat was soft as silk. Then his nostrils were invaded by an enticing aroma that he knew so well. Then a sweet voice said:

"Guess who?"

Shining smiled and said:

"Uh, I don't know. It's a very difficult question. Is it..."

He then turned and gave a long kiss to Cadance, saying, when they separated themselves:

"... my beautiful marefriend?" he completed.

Cadance laughed and said:

"You got it right."

"And what is my prize for having guessed it?"

Cadance nuzzled him and said:

"This."

"Well, I expected more, but this serves" Shining replied.

"Oh, Shining, I missed you so much!" Cadance exclaimed, hugging him.

"And I missed you too, my love" Shining replied, returning the hug. "How about we take a walk?"

"For me it looks great. But are you sure you should?"

"I have nothing more to deal with today" he said. "I dispatched everything as soon as I could, when I heard you were coming. So we can be together the rest of the day."

"You really think in everything, don't you?" Cadance asked, nuzzling him.

The two then began to walk around for the castle's gardens, while exchanging kisses and caresses. Everything was going in a perfect way. Shining, in every minute that passed, was more nervous as the moment of asking cadance in marriage was approaching. They then sat down on a bench to rest.

"But what a wonderful ride!" Cadance, exclaimed. "And of course the company also helped."

She looked at Shining and noticed that he was quite nervous.

"Shining, what's up?"

"Nothing, honey" he said, unable to hide his nervousness.

"Shining, I know you very well and we are a couple for years. I know how to see when something is wrong with you."

Shining made a deep breath and then said:

"Cadance, there's something I have to tell you, but... I don't know how."

"Is it something bad?"

"Depending on how you interpret things" Shining replied, secretly making the box with the horn ring appear in his hoof behind his back.

"Shining, you're starting to leave me nervous with all this" Cadance say. "What do you want to say to me?"

It was now. It was time to do it.

"What I have to tell you, it's a simple question that could change our entire relationship" Shining said.

He then knelt before Cadance, showed her the velvet box and opened it, revealing the horn ring, asking:

"Cadance, will you marry me?"

Cadance froze before that request. It was something she was not expecting.

"Shining... are you sure?" she asked. "It's a big step."

"Cadance, we've been dating for years" Shining said. "In every moment I spend with you, it becomes much more difficult for me to be away from you. I want to be with you. I want to have you by my side. I want to have foals with you and get old with you. I know it's a big step, but it's one I want to give with you."

"I don't know, Shining."

"And what if I told you that if you marry me, you will not only gain a husband, but also a great sister?"

That made Cadance drop a laugh.

"Are you using your sister to convince me?" she asked.

"It depends" Shining replied, smiling. "Is it working?"

Cadance smiled more openly and then nodded, saying:

"Yes, Shining, I accept to marry you."

Shining smiled, rejoicing with joy. He used his magic to put the horn ring onto Cadance's horn and they then exchanged a long and passionate kiss, hugging themselves after that. That was the first step to the two begin their life together.

However, watching them in the shadows were a pair of glowing, bright green eyes...

The End

Comments

[Rakoon1]

3568515 The mission in the Griffin Kingdom was more to demonstrate the duty of a royal guard. I don't intend to write something about that mission.

[beastlybiscuit]

Loved this story absolutely brilliant looking forward to reading some of your other works

[Sunlight Blaze]

Oooh! A fanfic giving backstory to Shining Armor! You have just gotten the attention of Sunlight Blaze's FIMfiction Reviews!!!

For those of you new to the show, it is where I read through a story, leaving a comment at the end of each chapter giving a summary of the chapter along with some snarky commentary and personal opinions and/or critiques along the way (you may find it similar to the reviews of Joshscorcher on Youtube, if you've seen them).
When I reach the final chapter, I will leave another comment detailing my complete opinion and overall critique of the story as a whole, giving a letter and number grade at the end for four of the following five criteria:
Story --- the premise of the story, and how interesting the overall plot is
Writing --- I'm a bit of a Grammar Nazi, so I tend to grade down stories with spelling errors and/or bad grammar; I'm also taking into account how well-written the characters are.
Humor --- I judge humor based on quality over quantity; the stronger and funnier the jokes, the higher the grade. (This is especially judged harshly for stories tagged "Comedy.")
Moral --- Normally reserved for stories tagged with "Slice of Life," the more applicable the lesson is, and how well the message is relayed, the higher the grade.
Ending --- Every story needs to give the readers a satisfying conclusion and/or give hints for a sequel. The more satisfying and well-rounded the ending, the better the grade. Timing is also taken into account.

Now, as I understand it, English is not a first language to you, so I'll try not to judge too harshly. Another thing I should note, if you haven't figured it out already, these reviews are strictly opinion-based, so if you have a problem with one of my comments, take what I say with a grain of salt.

Well, now that you know how my reviews work: Let's get started! *clicks first chapter*

[Sunlight Blaze]

Alright. Time for the big mission in the Griffin Kingdom. I wonder how they got out of that mess---

Years passed.

Wait, no, go back! Go back to the----

Shining Armor, during that time, became a more confident Captain of the Royal Guard. He couldn't only lead the entire Royal Guard pretty well, as he had all the respect from his soldiers and, of course, he always tried to give back all the respect they gave him.

Noooooooo! You blew it..... You blew it you blew it, you missed a great character development opportunity for Shining Armor! *groans*

3568883 Be that as it may, there's still two things wrong with this route:
One) A massive and unnecessary time lapse where a major plot point is skipped over. Plus, time lapses are a bit of a pet peeve of mine, but that's beside the point.
Also, using an entire chapter to set up for a major conflict and then just...skip it?
Two) As I stated above, that mission was a great opportunity to develop Shining's character as Captain of the Royal Guard. You stated before that Shining wasn't entirely sure of himself as Captain and found the position awkward and difficult to adjust to. And this mission was a great opportunity for him to fully grasp what's expected of him, pull it off, and gain confidence from it.

Ugh................whatever..............

So we are then treated to a fast-forwarding montage cranked up to eleven showing Cadence and Shining struggling - and succeeding, for the most part - to keep in contact, Twilight's transition to the bookworm we all know from the very first episode of the show, and eventually skimming over the events of the first episode.

Despite not having his little sister now as close as before, Shining supported her like any other older brother would done, because he was happy that she had gone out of her lonely state that existed since years ago.

While very subtle, this shows why Shining Armor wasn't present through any of the episodes until the Season 2 finale (besides Hasbro not having created him yet!); his duties as Captain of the Royal Guard kept him from leaving Canterlot all that often, and when he did leave he spent it with Cadence, considering Twilight was developing relationships with five other ponies. Perhaps he kept his distance because he wanted the Mane Six to bond more without outside influence. I can totally go with this!

One day, Shining received a letter which filled him with great happiness: Cadance was coming to Canterlot. Shining was with such a happiness that everypony could see perfectly. He was waiting for a moment like that, that only intensified the desire he had since days before. All those years dating Cadance had been very, very good, but he had became tired of being separated from her. He wished to have her by his side and feel his love for her fully realized. And there was only one way to do this: ask Cadence for her hoof in marriage.

About damn time!

On the day Cadence is to arrive, Shining is in his office with his hooves on the table. Bad manners.

He picked up a velvet box he had kept in his desk and opened it. Inside, was a magnificent horn ring.
The ring had a silver band and a beautiful pink diamond encrusted. That ring was the one his grandfather Star Shield had given to his grandmother Starlight and the one she gave to his father to give to his mother. When his parents learned of his desire to ask Cadance in marriage, they gave him the ring to give to her.

So it's a family heirloom. That adds sentimental value to it.

He then heard a knock on the door that startled him, almost causing him to fall down the chair. He closed the box, concealed it, sat normally and said:
"Come in."
The door opened and he saw with great relief that was Blue. For a moment he thought it was Cadance. Blue was not wearing his armor, but he had his saddlebags already prepared.

Wait...where's Blue Sword off to?

"So, you're going now?" Shining asked, standing up and exiting from behind his desk.
"Yes, my train leaves in a few minutes" Blue replied.
"I can not believe you're gonna take a year off" Shining said.
"I have to go, Shining" Blue said. "I need to make this trip and you know it."

Trip to where?

"I'm just sorry that maybe you won't come to my wedding with Cadance. I would have liked so much for you to be my colt of honor. If you want, I can postpone the wedding until..."
" Don't even think about doing that, Shining Armor" Blue said. "If you do, I swear I will not forgive you. I don't want you defy your happiness for me. I also would have liked to be your colt of honor, but, in contrast, you have a pony that would be a great best mare. She would be more perfect than me."

Oh, we all know the shenanigans of "A Canterlot Wedding." Hehe.....

There was a pause and then Blue asked:
"Are you ready to ask the question of your life?"
Shining sighed and replied:
"Actually, I'm a little nervous. Perhaps more than I expected. Just imagining Cadance accepting my marriage proposal, my legs tremble like gelatin, the four."
"Everything'll be fine. You'll see." Blue reassured, who then looked at his watch. "Well, I gotta go before I miss the train."

Where's he going!? You haven't said this yet!

So Shining decides to take a walk through the castle when....

Later, Shining was walking through the halls of the castle, when suddenly a pair of hooves covered his eyes.
"But what the..." he started.
Shining took his hooves to those that was covering his eyes. The hooves' coat was soft as silk. Then his nostrils were invaded by an enticing aroma that he knew so well. Then a sweet voice said:
"Guess who?"

Gee, I wonder?

"Uh, I don't know. It's A very difficult question. Is it..."
He then turned and gave a long kiss to Cadance , saying, when they separated themselves:
"... my beautiful marefriend?" he completed.
Cadance laughed and said:
"You hit the bull´s eye."

I've seen this kind of thing done in real life, but I"ve never seen a fanfiction do it.

So they go for a walk around the castle gardens before settling on a bench.

She looked at Shining and noticed that he was quite nervous.
"Shining, what's up?"
"Nothing, honey" he said, unable to hide his nervousness.
"Shining, I know you very well and we are a couple for years. I know how to see when something is wrong with you."
Shining made a deep breath and then said:
"Cadance, there's something I have to tell you, but... I don't know how to tell you."

Come on, Shining; it's four simple words.

"What I have to tell you, it's a simple question that could change our entire relationship" Shining said.
He then knelt before Cadance, showed her the velvet box and opened it, revealing the horn ring, asking:
"Cadance, will you marry me?"
Cadance froze before that request. It was something she was not expecting.
"Shining... are you sure?" she asked. "It's a big step."

After all these years, you can't tell me that you weren't wanting the same thing, Cadence!

So in the end, Cadence accepts the marriage.

However, watching them in the shadows of the Canterlot gardens, were two moderate harlequin eyes very bright...

Okay, I think we all know ho's lurking in the shadows, so I shouldn't have to change this sentence, but, you know....Grammar Nazi.

However, watching them in the shadows were a pair of glowing, bright green eyes...

[Sunlight Blaze]

So that's "Life of a Young Colt," and overall, it's not a bad story.

The plot does follow typical cliches for a love story; boy meets girl, boy falls in love with girl, boy meets bully, bully likes girl, bully breaks up boy and girl, boy and girl make up, bully loses in final competition, boy and girl get married. But, while the story is predictable, it also throws in some twists here and there.

The characters are nice additions, and several of them I wouldn't mind at least getting cameo appearances in the show; particularly Blue Sword and White Light. And while I hate Fire Punch's guts for what he did, I actually want to see more of him, just so we can continue hating him.

The humor was, to be honest, not much better than mediocre; there were a few good jokes, but in the end, most of them just died.

Despite the plot being good in and of itself, what really kills it is the writing. I understand, English isn't your primary language, but there were simple mistakes made that nopony should be making if they go back and proofread their work. It is VERY noticeable that you didn't double-check your grammar, and several parts I had to reword for them to even make sense in context - as you probably noticed in every chapter review. Considering you're primary language isn't English, you should have gotten an editor to look at your work before you posted each chapter.

Once again, I'll point out the HUGE missed opportunity with the Griffin Kingdom mission that you skipped. Adding that in would have made this awesome, but instead it's just........good. You don't make an opportunity like that and then just skip over it like you want to do to commercials when watching TV.

And as for the ending, it's rather quick and short, but it does give us the direct hint that the sequel to this is technically "A Canterlot Wedding," and tie-ins with the show like that give you points in my book.

Is this the most original thing in the world? No. But it is difficult to write the backstory for a canon character who has an established presence in the show; to be honest, creating the character is the easiest part. It's explaining them that's the hard part. And you did a pretty good job with that.

Sunlight Blaze's Official Ratings:
Story: B- (8.2)
Writing: F+ (5.8)
Humor: C- (7.2)
Ending: B (8.5)

Overall: C (7.425)

I'm Sunlight Blaze, and I've finally found a story where I've had to give an F in one of the categories. Quite a milestone, since I'm normally rather lenient......

Alright, if anypony has a story they'd like torn to shreds and given a review on, give me a PM and I'll get on it at my earliest convenience. 'till then, I'm out. *Teleports*

[Sunlight Blaze]

Alright, I said I'd check what Cadence's full name meant, and thank goodness for Google Translate! "Mi Amore Cadenza" is Italian for "I love every." So Cadence's name literally means that she loves everypony. Hence her special talent being love spells!

[Rakoon1]

7815055
Sorry, not very good at drawing something like that.

[Starlight Nova]

7815095
Why not get somebody else to do it?

[Rakoon1]

9993180
Because I don't have the means to make a commition like that... unless someone wants to do it freely.