Spike and Scootaloo stared at the capricorn version of Twilight, each swallowing nervously as she approached them. Her fan tail, sharp enough to cut through sinew and bone, swayed back and forth and her strange, draconese eyes were narrowed as she slowly made her way forward. Her lips ever so slowly slid back, revealing her sharp teeth, designed to rip out hunks of fat and muscle from her prey. Spike had always known that Twilight was powerful and there were definitely times when the baby dragon was afraid of his friend. But that fear had always been of the elemental and mystical powers that Twilight held; her magics and her control over them.
This, however, was different. This was physical, vicious power. Raw and primal.
"Uh... hey Twilight..." Spike said with a gulp. "What big... uh... teeth you have."
'Twilight' paused, eyes narrowed. "Are you trying to get me to say 'The better to eat you with, my dear'? Because that is lame, even by your standards."
"Wait..." Scootaloo said, watching the capricorn Twilight carefully, "you know him?"
"Of course I do, Scootaloo!" 'Twilight' said, rolling her eyes, all appearances of danger and death wiped away. "Has everyone gone mental?"
"No, they haven't," Tydal said, leaping down into the arena. "There is much you do not know, my dear."
"Lord Tydal!" 'Twilight' said happily, hurrying over to the sea god and nuzzling him. Tydal raised an eyebrow but did not betray his confusion at the familiar way 'Twilight' was treating him. "What is going on? Why is everyone acting like they don't know me?"
Going on a hunch, the old sea king looked down at the 'Twilight' and smiled. "You tell me, my faithful student... look at the battle field and tell me what is wrong." The capricorn female looked about the arena and began to rattle off all the odd things she noticed.
"Have you noticed that these adventures have stopped being funny?" Spike asked.
"Huh?" Scootaloo said. "Funny?"
"Yeah. In the beginning it was all cute Twiley stuff and Discord matching wits with a baby... now it’s kinda serious and educational."
Scootaloo frowned. "Are you honestly complaining about things making sense?"
"A bit," Spike said.
"I am too!" Twiley declared, trotting up to them.
"See, even Twiley a...grees..." Spike did a double take. "Wait..."
"Twiley," Scootaloo groaned, "what are you doing here?"
"Cutie Mark International Travelers! YEAH!" The filly pumped her hoof in the air. "It finally dawned on me, Scootaloo! We haven't gotten our cutie marks because we've been trying to get them in Equestria! We need to go to other countries to get them! We are going to sooooo get cool, foreign cutie marks!"
Scootaloo rubbed her temples, the beginnings of a headache already blossoming. "Your dad is so going to kill me."
"No he won't!" Twiley said with a devious grin. "I came up with a way to trick him.... he'll never know I'm gone."
~MC~MC~MC~
"Does Twiley seem to be acting odd?" Agent Coltson asked Twicora as the two of them passed the little table Night Light and Velvet had set up for the filly. There were crayons and pieces of paper scattered all upon it.
The zebra-stripped mare look over at 'Twiley', who looks suspiciously like a bag of flour with a Twilight Sparkle wig attacted to it. Someone, clearly filly-age, had drawn a crude face on the bag with crayons; one eye was bigger than the other and the mouth had a weird grin going on. A roll of toilet paper had been taped to the bag right where Twiley’s horn would be. Propped up against the totally-not-a-bag-of-flour was a sign that read 'Vow of Silence Cutie Mark, YEAH!". "It is clear to even the fillies and colts, that Twiley thinks we are all dolts."
"Hey Twiley!" Cadence said happily, waving to the not-a-bag-of-flour. "Looking good!" The princess hummed to herself as she skipped away.
"...maybe she has a point," Coltson stated.
~MC~MC~MC~
"How did you even get here?" Spike asked in confusion.
"I hid in Luna's saddle bag." Twiley crinkled her nose in disgust. "I don't want to go back in... the princess put Baby Me's dirty diapers in there."
"Ba ba ba!" Baby Twilight complained, riding on Luna's head as the princess walked over to them.
"She says yours don't smell like roses either," Luna said with a dismissive sniff. "Scootaloo, Spike, I wondered where you went to. I thought for a moment that my sister had banished you to the moon."
"Uh... the Princess doesn't do that... she only did it to you," Spike pointed out. "Right?"
~12 years earlier~
"And when I am free... oh, when I am free!" Nightmare Moon ranted, circling the same crater she’d been marching around for the last 15 days (time moves slowly when you are on the moon). "First I will kidnap my sister... then I will create some easily escapable traps that 6 mares with attitudes could conquer... then I'll NOT wipe them off the face of Equestria! No no, using my insane, godly magic against them would be too easy! Instead I will taunt them and give them time to regroup! Maybe knock a guard around but not enough to hurt them! Oh, and I will definitely not go to Canterlot and claim the throne... better to wait... wait until I’ve set up some traps that will teach innocent ponies lessons about friendship!" Nightmare Moon cackled. "I am so evil!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Oh crud." Nightmare took a step to her left just as a stallion in a red collared shirt and matching hat slammed down to the moon's surface. The dark alicorn trotted over to the stallion and poked him. "So... what did you do?"
The stallion groaned, glancing at the evil alicorn but deciding he was already screwed so no use panicking. "I asked Princess Celestia if she wanted some coffee to go with all the sugar she was pouring into her mug."
"Ah. We get that one about once a week." She pointed to a far-off ridge. "Head over there... I built an apartment complex and there should be a few empty rooms. Just ignore Rita Repulsa, we all do."
"Screw you, Nightmare!" the evil villainess screamed. “You’re just jealous of my big hat!” The witch turned towards the earth and scowled. “JUST LIKE ZORDON, THAT CHARLES XAVIER WANNABE!” Rita stuck out her tongue and flipped off the earth.
"I wouldn't want to be married to that..." Nightmare said. "I mean... again." She chuckled. "That was a wild weekend..." Nightmare shrugged. "Oh, almost forgot: the "Welcome to the Moon Song"! It’s a tradition. Boys?"
A bunch of stallions, dressed as sailors, popped up and grinned.
We're whalers on the moon
We carry a harpoon!
But their ain’t no whales
So we tell tall tales
And sing our whaling tune!
~MC~MC~MC~
Spike stared at Princess Luna. "Sometimes I understand why Twilight likes banging her head on tables."
“Wha’s on ‘oon!” Baby Twilight gurgled.
"So, what are we doing?" Twiley looked around the arena. "Gladiator battles? Cutie Mark Spartacus! YEAH!"
"No, we aren't doing that," Tydal said, trotting over with "Twilight' beside him. "Seafoam Tremor, I’d introduce you to everyone but honestly I find it easier not to become attached to things I might need to use as living shields.” He turned to the group (of which only Twiley was happy to be called a living shield… ‘Living Shields Cutie Mark, YEAH!’) “Apparently her world saw me never turned to stone and thus she became my student instead of Celestia’s."
"No offense, Lord Tydal, but I simply can't imagine being Miss Prissy's student."
"Miss Prissy!" Luna cackled. "I have to remember that one."
"I see we picked up another one," Tydal said, looking down at Twiley. "I suppose it would be no use trying to send you back?"
"Uh huh."
"Fine," the sea god grunted, "but only because you are cute and I know your power of cuteness will prevent me from saying no to you."
"Yes!" Twiley said in glee, pumping her hoof in the air. She bounced over to Seafoam and inspected her. "Ok, you are so much cooler than Zebra Me!"
"Ba ba ba!" Baby Twilight complained; she clearly knew SHE was the coolest.
Scootaloo frowned. "Are you sure this is wise, Lord Tydal?"
"No, but I figure it is safer have the Twilights with us then letting them roam free." He glanced at the infant, filly and capricorn versions of the purple alicorn. "I just hope we continue to manage-"
"Sir!" one of the guards called out, rushing into the arena. "We need you... we have found the weirdest catch!"
"And by weird you mean..." Tydal began.
~10 Minutes Later...~
Scootaloo watched as a great purple whale with Twilight's mane broke the water's surface and released a spout of water. A few meters from Twilight Orcle a Twiphin leapt out of the air, letting out a clicking laugh before diving under the waves. A Crablight scurried past them, clicking her purple claws as she passed, saying hello to the Twilipus that was swimming just a few meters from shore.
"Well..." Seafoam said, tilting her head as she watched the sea team with Twilights. "I... uh... Lord Tydal?"
"Don't look at me, I'm as freaked out as you are!"
“Actually I’m scared and I’m hungry… I think I want to eat myself.”
Spike opened his mouth to say something, only to shut it when he received a stern look from Luna. The god of the sea tugged on his beard as a Great Purple Shark broke the waves and flashed them a toothy grin.
"Hello!" the Twishark said happily. "I"m hoping you can help me... I was with my friends Flippershy, Kelpjack, Pruney Pie, Rainbow Carp and Swimity but now I've completely lost them!" the Twishark grew nervous. "I hope they are ok... we're suppose to meet with Princess Sealestia to learn about a threat to Oceanna!"
"I've seen what Discord can do when at full power and STILL this is more screwed up than anything I've encountered!" Spike exclaimed.
"Still want things to stop being boring?" Scootaloo asked.
"I take it back, I take it back!" Spike exclaimed.
"You know, you look like a remora I know..." Twishark said, looking carefully at Spike.
"I TAKE IT BACK! I TAKE IT BACK!"
~Meanwhile, somewhere a little less absurd...~
"I didn't want to do that," a pale thestral said dully, watching as the rough looking stallion that had tried to attack her fell to the alley floor, clutching weakly at the gaping wound on his neck. Though the two puncture marks were quite deep no blood gushed from them... for there was no blood left in his veins to leak out. The bat-pony had seen to that. "I have been working to not attack ponies for so long... but without my beloved Sweetie Bella to keep me on the path of goodness I... I can not stop these urges!" The thestral let out a dramatic sigh... though it didn't sound that dramatic since her voice was utterly wooden and her mannerisms drier than 12-year old paint.
"You want to see your Sweetie Bella, my dear?" a dark alicorn whispered, emerging from the shadows. The bay-winged alicorn whipped around and stared at her doppelganger. "Now now... don't be shy... we are, in a way, sisters. What is your name?"
"Twilight Twilight," Twi-Twi said, subconsciously licking her fangs.
"Well... I am Nightfall Eclipse... and I am putting together a group..."
“Will it help me find my young filly lover?” Twilight Twilight asked. “Even though I just met her, I know she is the love of my life and I must stalk her and make her give up her entire life so she can be with me.”
Nightfall frowned and muttered, under her breath, “I’m evil and still you creep me the (censored) out…”
Yeah, enjoy the seriousness while you can, Spike.
Next chapter we head to Ponpan, land of panties in vending machines, tentacle porn, and anime.
Oh, and assassins. Deadly assasins.
3724702 Awes- wait what?
Burn that last twi on the simple matter of principle
Okay.... capricorn Twilight awesome, the Twis of Twi-aquarium absurd nothing else can describe this, Twilight Twilight deserves death by fire.
That bit at the end... oh gods. I just could not stop laughing!
I have lost track of the amount of references this has now!
Also, I hope we get more of the Doubt and Twilight combo. Those two make things more.... interesting.
Hold on...let me see if my brain can comprehend this sir... Aquatic Twlights? You have outdone yourself in terms of utter ridiculousness that never stops my amusement
Hope you keep this going for a long time!
Yes new chapter!!
3724702 well can't wait till... Hold on... Did you say tentecal porn?? Oh boy this is gonna be a bumpy ride
3724816 it would be interesting to hear about faith (or is it doubt cause trixie is now doubt) complaining how he wants to be with trixie and his kid. Aaaaaaand have him meet this worlds trixie!
3724889
Twilight Twilight...
KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE! STUFF AN ANTI-MATTER BOMB UP ITS BACKSIDE AND SEND IT BACK TO THE HELL FROM WHENCE IT CAME BEFORE WEREWOLF RARITY SHOWS UP CLAIMING POUND CAKE IS HER SOULMATE!!!
3724702
If that means we're getting Twilight's that are anime based, then I demand Twilight Elric or Twilight Vi Britannia.
And that Spike is why you should be careful what you wish for.
So, the moon is kind of like Australia, but populated with ponies that cheese Celestia off as opposed to actual criminals? Ehh, why not.
Twilight Twilight oh god no.
Great!
Twilight Twilight.
Oh god, not that! ANYTHING BUT THAT!
Oh dear god, Twilight Twilight. I guess it was inevitable, though Sweetie Bella totally caught me off guard. I'm now reminded of a "troll introduction" of the ponies where "Twilight Sparkle is so named for her bad taste in literature."
some kind of future Twilight coming soon?
on another note HILARIOUS!
3725157 So Nightmare Moon was Queen of Australia for a thousand years?
It's a wonder that she wanted to get back at all...
Ok this may sound weird, but I'd love a picture of Swimity, she sounds cool.
3725157 Austrlaia!? Why you little... GAH! I am insulted!
3725764 The sun are you mad, only a black hole is good enough to keep the ashes from corrupting it (then dump it onto one of the abysses that really annoys you.)
Twi sea life....... Some one get Fluttershy... this is gonna take a while.
When are human and HUMAN Twilight coming into this?
3725157
Pretty much, yeah
3726346
Soon
Just show Twilight Twilight this.
Sure fired way to kill Twilight parodies dead.
3726453
*Reads new chapter*
So Defender2222, at what point did you say "fuck it", and go completely insane with the Twilight incarnations?
I mean, with the way you're adding sea-Twilights (You have a Whale version, and Orca version, an Octopus version, a crab version, etc, etc, etc), I think you you're starting to lose your mind.
I still see Twilightimus Prime (twilight as Optimus Prime, Twilight Q (Again, this just Twilight as Q from Star Trek), and Twilight Fate (Twilight as Dr. Fate) as the last Twilights for the good Twilights (since they're the most powerful versions, well other than Twilight Spectre, but since the wrath of GOD is a bit overpowered... Well you can see where this is heading).
Still think seeing Cannon Twilights' reaction to this insanity would funny as hell, and just because, how about the original twilight from the original special would freak everyone out (considering she looks like Twilight Sparkle mother, you can make some really funny jokes about the confusing her for Twilight Velvet).
3724930 Or Son Twilight.
3724702
Great, a group of young (mostly) viriginal travelers in a land of tentacle porn. You know what means, somedragon's gettin raped.
What?
Sorry Spike but I am putting money on you
KILL IT! GET EVERY DESTRUCTIVE TOOL KNOWN AND KILL HER WITH IT!
3727050
I said there were going to be AT LEAST 24
3726854
The last thing this world needs now is a half pony, half alien monkey Twilight that can turn Super Sayain or an even larger half pony, half alien monkey.
Is Rita Repulsa's apartment right next to that of Bandora the Witch? And what of the Machine Empire Baranoia?
Dated vampire joke is dated.
Well. The last Twilight needs to be killed right away. And, also, why are we heading to Ponpan with children? The anime is alright, but nothing else.
3725157 3725915 All hail Luna, Queen of Space Australia!
P.S. KILL TWI-TWI!!!
3728131 Space Australia, I like it.
3725967
You right, it is an insult to Australia.
The moon only can kill you one way, by vacuum, Australia on the other hand/hooves.
3729067 Yes, Australia has many ways to kill you. Still an excellent to place to live AND WE ARE NOT CRIMINALS! Even when Australia started there were just as many free settlers as there were convicts.
What I wanna know is, how has no-one made a Twilight Sharkle joke yet?
3728195 Space Australia is a nice place. Just ask Jeice, after all he comes from there.
3732442 DBZ Abridged is best DBZ
You haven't happened to read The Slug Life recently, have you? Twilight Slarval would probably approve of the other Sea Twilights, that is, if slugs could approve of things. (Spoiler alert, they usually can't.)
3733339 Especially when it gives us stuff like this.
3734413 Or when it fusion dances to give us this:
You know what would really bring the feels and push things in a serious direction? A Twilight from a dimension in which Spike died after they both moved to Ponyville and met the others. I've read at least two.
Oh, and maybe see if you can find a place for Grumplight Grumple, who frequently blows raspberries when she doesn't want to talk to others. Such a Twilight would have hilarious chemistry with your Cadance!
3727390
Yeah, because hearing Nightmare Moon sing Whalers on the Moon isn't surreal enough. They also have to listen to this every other day.
But Twiley's not a baby, she doesn't wear diapers. Baby Twilight doesn't know what she's talking about.
3745378
She has the power to bend reality to her will. She always know what she's talking about.
What about a universe where Twilight is the Doctor?
In this universe a Time Lord has six regenerations. the original (a combination of William Hartnel and Patrick Troughton) Rarity.
2 (Jon Pewee and tom Baker) Rainbow Dash. a combination of Tom Bakers more rebellions nature, laid back style of dominating conversation, with Jon Pewee's slightly condescending nature,
3 (Peter Davison and Colin Baker) Fluttershy. Peter Dav8son s the nicest of the Doctors, and Despite the way Colin Baker caries himself, he can be very kind hearted.
5 (John Hurt and Christopher Eccelson) Applejack. All three of the characters are notable sane.
6 (David Tennant and Matt Smith) Pinkie Pie. All three of these characters are notably children.
4 (Sylvester McCoy and Paul Mcgann) Twilight Sparkle. McCoy put a lot of emphasis on intelligence and cunning, which is something Twilight does very well. Most (well...both) of the 'Mane six are the Doctor' fanart has Twilight as McCoy. Now Paul has a more silly, personality, which Twilight has also exhibited within the show. ALSO: McCoy mentored his teenage companion named Ace. So for the Doctor Twilight, obviously Ace=tia aka A young disguised Princess Celestia, Twilight's Faithful Companion.