Battle of the Twilights
"Ok Twinkler, just focus." The purple-feathered griffon banked slightly, her wings opened wide as she caught a strong gust of wind. It had been a long journey from Griffland to Equestria but finally she'd made it. Sparkling Twinkler just hoped that Prof. Fuzzy Thinker was right and that the answers to her questions lay in the strange realm of the even stranger ponies.
To say that she was befuddled was an understatement. One minute she'd been hanging out with her best friends (Freckled Farmer, Pink Partier, Beautiful Tamer, Rainbow Flyer, and Stunning Designer), ignoring the taunts of Blond Jackass (scion of the House of Jackass) and complaining about the poor teaching style of Greasy Git (their potions' professor who kinda sounded like Hans Gruber), the next she was surrounded by griffins she didn't recognize. Two griffs, a ginger one and one who was the first griff Twinkler had ever seen to have bushy feathers, had informed her that not only did they not know her but it was some griff named 'Hairy Grabber' who was suppose to protect Griffland, not her!
She'd been upset when she'd discovered that her beloved teacher, Prof. Thinker, hadn't recognized her but the old griff had been kind and even come up with a quest she could go on to discover the truth.
"And I'm going to discover it," Twinkler said to herself, plunging down slightly to avoid a nasty headwind that threatened to knock her off course. "Now, I just need to-"
BOOM!
Twiknler let out a yelp as two sonic booms fired off right in front of her. She watched in utter shock as a purple pony in a Wonderbolt's costume who looked a bit like herself dodged the attacks of a second pony (who also looked like her) who was half flesh and half machine, a jet engine on her back.
"Surrender now, lowly pegasus, and allow yourself to be upgraded!" Cyborg Twilight declared, firing several laser cannons at her opponent.
Skyburst merely narrowed her eyes and went into a deep dive, dodging the attacks and forcing the cyborg to give chase after her.
"...on second thought maybe answers are overrated," Twinkler muttered.
~MC~MC~MC~
Twizio and Twicora leapt out of the way, just avoided the energy bolt that shot out at them. The assassin pulled out a smoke bomb and threw it but even with the thick black haze covering their section of the battlefield the blasts just kept coming.
"To continue on shows quite some skill. Be wary though, for her blasts can kill!"
Twizio nodded. "I know it is trying to kill us but my friend Lunardo would love to get a look at that wounderful machine."
From the black smoke a pony-size metal being that looked like a cross between a tank and a salt shaker rolled forward, its purple and magenta surface belaying the deadliness of its assault. Near its top were a plunger-like device and a strange silver appendage that spat out the deadly beams of energy, as well as a long eyestalk.
"ALL MUST BE EXTERMINATED!" The Dalek Twilight declared. "ONLY THE DALEK WILL REMAIN."
"My lack of ideas makes me pout," Twicora said, realizing she and Twizio had been backed into a literal corner, "so I hope you have a way out!"
Twizio reached for one of her throwing daggers but the weapon bounced harmlessly off the dalek's shell.
"EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!" Dalek Twilight screeched, preparing to fire her weapon.
"YOU ARE NOT MAMA SPARKLE!"
Dalek Twilight whipped around, only to be rammed into by Rollypolly, the baby Dalek that Twilight had adopted back when people actually cared about Scootaloo's origin story. Dalek Twi squawked in protest as she tipped over, her eyestalk wiggling about as she tried to right herself.
"...OW."
"Well done, little friend," Twizio said, walking up and retrieving her weapons before patting Rollypolly. "But we have more work to do."
"YOU WILL NOT ESCAPE! YOU WILL FACE DEATH BY THE POWER OF THE DALEKS!" Dalek Twi ranted as the others left. She grew quiet, her shell trying to right itself, only for a shadow to fall upon her.
"Imagine you were immobilized," Seafoam Tremor said with a grin, her fanblade tail lazily waving back and forth. "Imagine you were far from home and in terrible pain. And just when you thought it couldn't get any worse... you look up and see the face of the devil herself." Seafoam leaned in. "Hello Dalek."
Dalek Twi swiveled her eyestalk towards the new Twilight. "RECORDS SHOW YOU ARE FROM EQUESTRIA. RECORDS SHOW YOU WILL SHOW MERCY."
"I'm Lord Tydal's personal student." The capricorn grinned. "Check your records again."
"...MERCY."
"Say it again," Seafoam said, leaning in.
"MERCY."
"One more time..."
"MERCY!"
~MC~MC~MC~
"Now let us see... who would be fun to play with?" Delirium asked, rubbing her hands together. The draconequus smiled with wicked glee, her mind racing at all the chaos she could inject into the battle. Oh, it was already quite chaotic, what with two armies mostly composed of Twilights battling it out, but she was sure she could take it one step further and really cut loose. It had been so long since she'd been able to enjoy herself, as her friends were always forcing her to remember their bonds of friendship and thus behave, but they weren't here to stop her.
"How about me?" Delirium twisted around and stared at the newcomer. He was dressed in a black bodysuit and large hat with long red robes draped over his shoulders. "I've heard oh so much about you my dear and I wish to see just what all the fuss is about."
"Discord," Delirium said with a tittering laugh. "I see the Twilight of this dimension didn't end you like I did on mine."
"Not quite but I am afraid you have miscalculated."
"What?" Delirium asked, floating over to him. "Do you mean that you are stronger than my Discord?"
"Not at all... but where would the fun be in revealing the answer to my riddle when I can string you along and watch you dance right into my trap."
"You think you can outsmart me?" Delirium asked. "I was smarter than you before I stole your counterpart's powers and now none rival me."
"Not that smart since you walked underneath the anvil I set up," Discord said, summoning a pair of scissors and giving a piece of rope a snipe. There was a whistling whooosh! and a large anvil smashed on Delirium's head. Discord, seeing the deed done, transformed into a large bear with a green hat. "I'm smarter than the ave-er-age Twilight!"
Delirium laughed, the safe melting into goo. "But I'm not average at all, dear Discord."
Delirium (snapping her fingers and dressing Discord up as a tacky magician)
I must admit that your parlor tricks are amusing
I bet you've bet you've got a bunny under your hat
But try and get the best of me, hope your hand is hot!
Come on clown let's see what ya got!
(Discord tears off the costume and begins firing magic at Delirium, who waves it away like it was a weak breeze)
You try and slam me with your hardest stuff
But your double whammy isn't up to snuff
I’ll set the record straight
You're simply out of date
You're only second rate!
(Discord tries warping into a vicious manticore but Delirium turns him to stone with a snap of her fingers)
You think your cat's a meany but your tiger's tame
You've got a lot to learn about the chaos game
So for your education
I reiterate
You're only second rate!
Discord (the stone having crumbled to become his lion paw's thumb while several more stones burst out, becoming his other fingers)
Ponies cower at the power in my pinkie!
My thumb is number one on every list!
But if you’re not convinced that my invincible
Put me to the test!
(Delirium yelps as the stone hand become a tomb)
I'd love to lay this rivalry to rest!
(Delirium breaks from and binds Discord with chains. Discord merely turns them into boas that he wears)
Go ahead and zap me with the big surprise
Slap me in a trap, cut me down to size
I'll make a great escape
It's just a piece of cake
You're only second rate!
(Delirium glowers as Discord easily catches her magic and juggles it)
You know hocus pocus isn't tough enough
And your mumbo jumbo doesn't measure up
Let me pontificate
Upon your sorry state
You're only second rate!
Delirium (Summons evil versions of Brobee, Foofa, and Muno)
Yo Gabba Gabba!
Discord (Dressed like Norman Bates in his 'mother' persona)
Granny's gonna grab ya!
Delirium and Discord (both growing to well over 500 feet tall, their faces pressed against each other's)
Zala zoom tra la bus
And this thing’s bigger than the both of us!
Discord (popping Delirium's eyes out of her head)
So save me your tremendous stare
Delirium (skins Discord, leaving him just as muscles wearing blue boxers)
You look horrendous in your underwear
Discord (Rips Delirium's limbs off)
I can't wait to discombobulate
Delirium (Shoves Discord into a small box that explodes)
I'll send you packing in a shipping crate
Discord (flattens her with a hammer)
You'd make a better living as a spinning plate!
Discord and Delirium
You're only second rate!
"Actually, neither of you compare to me."
Discord and Delirium turned and watched as a Twilight with a blonde mane, wings, and a lazy eye happily trotted over to them.
"And you are?" Delirium asked.
"Derpy Sparkle!" The wall-eyed mare said happily. "And I'm gonna knock you out now!"
The two draconequus laughed right in her face. "Oh, you think you can beat us?" Discord said, wiping away a tear. "how utterly- where did you get that big sword?"
"I HAVE THE MUFFINS!" Derpy Sparkle proclaimed. "FOR THE HONOR OF GREY SKULL... I AM MARE-RA!"
"Aw crap," Delirium muttered as Derpy Sparkle turned into a muscle bound goddess.
~MC~MC~MC~
"So rash and foolish," Twiliroth said, her katana singing as it cut through the air, easily driving back Twilight, Keyblade master. "You do not understand why you fight and that is why you will never beat me."
"I fight to defeat the Heartless and the Nobodies!" Twiblade declared, launching herself back at the long-haired swordsmare.
"That is what you fight, not why," Twiliroth said, easily deflecting each of Twiblade's strikes. “You see, that is why you will never be able to win. How can one who does not understand why they fight possibly win a fight?”
“Because it is right!” Twiblade declared.
“That is what you believe, not why you fight.”
Twiblade frowned, only to raise an eyebrow and smile slightly. “Well, maybe I don’t know why I fight… but I bet this new Twilight knows.”
"Hello," a Twilight with long, curly black hair said, drawing her blade. "I am Indigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."
“…crap, that is a why,” Twiliroth muttered.
~MC~MC~MC~
“Ok, who wants some? Who wants some?” Twiley demanded, leaping from one Evil Twilight to the next, trying to find one she could fight. The problem was that each time she found one to give the old ‘Cutie Mark Kapow!’ another, bigger Twilight would rush in, take over, and push her aside. The filly glowered in frustration as Twor Odindaughter picked her up and placed her on a roof before flying off to take on The Purple Skull. “Seriously, this sucks! How am I suppose to get my ‘Saving the World’ cutie mark if I’m not allowed to save the world?!”
“You could get a cutie mark for understanding the power of immortal love,” Twilight Twilight said blandly, walking up to the filly.
“I need an adult! I need an adult!” Twiley screamed in a panic.
“Hey!” Princess Twigeta complained, hovering above the roof with her new partner, Spappa. “Stop stealing out bit!”
“I could help you sue her,” Phoenix Sparkle said, pulling out her briefcase.
“Kaio-ken times 4!”
“Kaio-what?” Twigeta asked before she, Spappa and Phoenix were blasted off the roof by Twiku.
“Now that we are back to being alone I can prove to you that your young, prepubescent spirit is my 150 year old soul’s mate.”
Twiley frowned, backing away from the sparkling batpony. “I thought you loved Sweetie Bella.”
“There is room in my cold, unbeating heart for more than one love. Now come, we must hurry to my unmarked van-“
BOOM!
Twilight Twilight flew back, nearly flying off the roof. Twiley turned and looked up… and up… at the tall figure that had landed just behind her.
“I remember you!” Twiley said with a grin. “Shiny calls you the crazy one!”
“That’s right, baby girl,” Lord Tydal said, lips pulled back to reveal his sharpened teeth. “I’m the crazy one.”
“You can not keep me from my love,” Twilight Twilight said, eyes going blood red (thought she was still as dull as the fan fic ‘The Doctor of Oz’, at least according to the readers of this site… aw, I made myself sad). “I will drain you dry and-“
“INCOMING!”
Twi Twi looked up, eyes widening as a massive brown winged reindeer slamming into the roof. The peryton shook his great coat as a second, purple peryton joined him. The lavender one was clearly a Twilight but the first was nearly as large as Tydal, wearing a huge red jacket trimmed with black, two heavy swords on his side, and a tall black Reinssa hat on his head between his antlers.
“Here we are brother!” the large peryton declared with a laugh.
“Polar!” Tydal shouted in delight.
“We arrived just in time. I told you it was wery important we wacate the capital and come in, Zsar.” The peryton Twilight spoke with a thick Reinssa accent.
“Da, my loyal disciple!” Polar Vortex, god of cold, snow, and winter, declared. “I see brother Tydal begin ‘nother war without us, Northern Lights! But that is ok… we join midstride and show them why we are best! HA!.” Polar picked up Northern Lights and aimed her like a cannon. “NOW IT’S TWILIGHT SHOOT TIME!”
“OH COME ON!” Twiley complained as Tydal put her on his back and used his magic to firmly lock her down so she couldn’t escape. “AT LEAST LEAVE ONE FOR ME!”
“Be my eyes and ears, little one,” Tydal said, turning back towards the edge of the roof and the main part of the battle. “Its time to reenter the madness.”
“Madness?” Twiley said with a grin, realizing she was going to get to team up the god of war. “THIS… IS… EQUESTRIA!”
~MC~MC~MC~
“Ar!” Twilight the Dread, scourge of the Seven Seas, snarled as she waved her cutlass about. “Let’s send this bilge-rats down to Dissy John’s Locker!”
“Indeed,” Storm Sparkle, ninja master and member of the nefarious terrorist group COBRA, declared, drawing out her katanas. “They don’t stand a chance.”
“Ya’ll are askin’ for a buckin’!” Zapapple declared. “Specially since I done found a Twilight I can actually work with.” She turned and nodded to the cowpony just behind her. Yes, this one used magic, but only so she could fire her twin Colt pistols, each one loaded with silver bullets.
“Hi ho!” Silver declared, her black mask wrapped around her face as she reared up.
“This… is… so… awesome!” Wall Breaker declared in glee to Princess Luna. The moon goddess nodded, pausing from her hoof punching of the Timberwolf Twilight to watch the battle.
~MC~MC~MC~
“Move!” Captain Sparkle shouted, tackling Rider just before the missiles could hit her.
“Thanks,” Rider said, glaring at the scarred Twilight who was marching towards them in her own battle armor. “What’s the story on this nut?”
“Military pony, wants to wipe out the Breezies so she can use their natural resources to power her war efforts.”
“Joy,” Rider said. “You go high, I go low?”
“Sounds good,” Captain Sparkle said.
As the two of them launched themselves at the mech-driving Twilight, Celestia grit her teeth and swung the beam of pure magic shooting from her horn to her left, just managing to catch the scarlet beam that had been trying to take off her head.
“Your powers are weak, old mare,” Darth Sparkle declared. “When I left you I was but the learner… now I am the master!”
“Only a master of evil, Twilight,” Celestia said.
“That name has no meaning to me,” Darth Sparkle stated. “Emperor Sombra showed me the true ways of Magic… don’t make me destroy yooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwww!” Darth Sparkle screamed as green flames burned her butt.
“Leave her alone!” Spike shouted, rushing towards the Princess.
“Spike…” Darth Sparkle said, tilting her masked head. “Celestia never told you about your mother.”
“What… that she killed her or something? Or stole my egg away?” Spike rolled his eyes. “I don’t care… I’m a pony in a dragon’s body.”
“No, Spike… the Celestia of my world took your egg and sent it to this world for safe keeping… to keep it away from me,” Darth Sparkle said, touching the hinge of her helmet. It cracked open and with a hiss dropped down, revealing now a pony’s face… but that of a dragoness. “I… am your mother.”
“No… that’s not true!” Spike said in shock. “That’s impossible!”
“Search your feelings, you know it to be true!”
“…noooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!”
“Join me and together we can rule the multiverse as mother and son!” Darth Sparkle declared. “It is your destiny!”
“Actually it isn’t!” Darth Sparkle turned only to get bucked in the face by, of all beings, Rarity. “My Spikey-Wikey isn’t evil and will never join you. He is a hero… like Twilight before him.” She gave Darth Sparkle another smack across the forehead. “And that outfit is gaudy.” She sniffed in disgust and trotted over to Spike, nuzzling the traumatized baby dragon. “Don’t worry, I’m pretty sure she doesn’t have the paperwork to back any of that up. We’ll have Night Light confirm that you are in fact from this world…”
“He told me I was really a chocolate egg with a caramel center and that Twilight willed me into existence.”
“…so that’s why your urine is-“
“Uh-huh.”
Celestia did a double take. “Wait… what?”
~MC~MC~MC~
“Look at you, wasted and gasping for air,” Twibane said, rolling her shoulders. Green Lantern Twilight panted slightly, a brace on her right back leg holding the broken limb in place. Luckily she was able to fly but the pain was making it hard to concentrate and thus made her constructs weaker than they’d normally be. “But you don’t get to go yet.” Twibane touched a dial on her foreleg and the tubes that fed the drug VENOM directly into her blood began to pump. Her eyes glowed green as she swelled up larger, now 10x stronger than Big Macintosh. “When your dreams are reduced to ashes… then you have my permission to die.”
GL Twi grit her teeth as Twibane grabbed purple train and slammed it down on the Corps pony. “Sorry about this,” Twilight the Tank Engine said, her wheels spinning. “I’m huffing and puffing but without tracks I’m kinda useless.”
“Now… I break you,” Twibane said coldly.
GL looked up and trembled. "No." She squared her shoulders and thrust out her horn. “In… brightest day…” Her breath came out in sharp gasps. “In… blackest night.” Her ring pulsed. “No evil… shall escape my sight.” She began to rise up, green energy swirling around her. “Let those who worship… evil’s might…” Her own eyes went full emerald. “Beware my power… GREEN LANTERN’S LIGHT!”
The explosion of energy sent Twibane flying and allowed GL to grab Twilight the Tank Engine and set her down on her tracks. The purple locomotive gave a ‘toot toot’ and hurried off to find injured ponies to take back to BUTTS, leaving GL facing down Twibane.
“You think that little show is enough?” Twibane taunted. “It might work on the weak… but I am initiated in the ways of theatrics and distractions… for I am the League of Shadows!”
“Oh, enough of this.”
Twibane gasped as the train tracks Twilight the Tank Engine had been uses lifted up and wrapped themselves around her. The masked mare turned and watched in shock as a gray unicorn stallion dressed in red and purple armor hovered in the air, his white mane billowing slightly.
“Who… who are you?”
“I am Magneto!” the pony declared. “And I am here to ruin yet another one of your galas, Twilight Sparkle!”
GL Twilight just tilted her head as Magneto began to sing about the Grand Galloping Gala. “I swear I don’t even understand what is going on anymore.”
“Welcome to every day of my life,” Shining Armor stated. “Cadence, no, do not fight Sex Doll Twilight!”
~MC~MC~MC~
“Uh, was I suppose to fight the Twilight with guns and swords and a healing factor?” Human Twilight called out as Twipool walked towards her, yammering on about how “Bea Arthur Shot First”. “Because seriously, I’m just a schoolgirl! Pretty sure I was suppose to stay in the red phonebooth!”
“Hold on!” Dusk Shine shouted as he ran towards her, throwing his female human counterpart onto his back while Sparkle-San leapt at Twipool and began to match her blade for blade. “WHOA!” Dusk shouted, his wings unfurling as he dodged Twizilla’s giant foot. “What the-“ He glanced over and saw that Twizilla was not rampaging but was, in fact, staring down another dragon Twi… only this one had three heads and was shooting lightning out of its mouths.
“The folly of ponies is believing that nature is in their control,” Narrator Twilight said from her spot on the top of a skyscraper. “Let them fight.”
“Oh by the Dewey Decimal System!” Dusk screeched as he began to do barrel rolls in hopes of avoiding the blasts of fire and electricity the giant monsters were shooting at each other. He made his way out of the city and towards the high mountain point that hung just above Canterlot. “Ok, Miss Human, I am sure this will be safe… I think all the other Twilights are down there-“
“Except for this one,” Abstract Twilight said, motioning for them to join her behind the boulder she was hiding behind. “Scootaloo detected this one up here and we went to confront her… and well…” Dusk and Human Twilight managed to get behind the boulder just before a blast of icy wind nearly hit them. It struck the mountain’s rocky face and left it covered in thick ice. Snow flakes began to rain down upon their heads and the two newcomers shivered slightly.
“Who… who is this Twilight?” Dusk asked.
Asbtract Twilight swallowed. “Windigo Twilight. She is feeding off the negative emotions below. If she isn’t stopped soon she is going to freeze all of Equestria.”
“What… do we… do?” Human Twilight asked, teeth chattered.
“Nothing,” Abstract Twilight said with a smile. “Just… have faith.”
10 yards ahead of them, standing on a edge of a cliffface, Faith, the lord of the gray and the embodiment of the Element of Faith, narrowed his eyes and flared out his wings as he stared down the Windigo Twilight. The icy spectre swirled in the air, trying her best to knock him off the mountain.
“That won’t work against me, luv,” Faith said calmly. “I’ve faced down chaos, the fires of Tartarus and the darkness of the Endless. Your little storm is nothing compared to what I’ve dealt with.” His magic flared and his eyes flashed. “I am Faith… and I can feel yours has been shaken. I know the truth about Windigos, little one… I know that you are similar to my kind: you were a pony who lost her form but rather than coming to represent an emotion you now feed off them like a parasite!” The Windigo rushed towards him but Faith refused to back down. “But I am living proof that this doesn’t have to be your end! You can never return to what you once were but you don’t have to remain as you are! Let me help you!”
The Windigo Twilight snapped at him, her icy fangs grazing Faith’s nose and causing it to frost over. “You think for a moment you understand me? I was abandoned… left all alone... feared by my friends and my family! They feared my powers and what I could do! I tried my hardest to conceal my powers, to not feel… but it didn’t matter! And now I take all they feel!”
“I understand better than you could imagine,” Faith said softly.
“And I do too!” Abstract twilight called out, stepping from her hiding spot and running over to join Faith. “I was in the same situation you were… I know what it feels like to have no hope… no faith in those you love… to believe you are all alone-“
“No… you don’t. You have no idea what it was like for me that horrible night… when they all abandoned me.”
Dusk looked up as he hard piano music begin to play. “Oh by Prince Solaris’ beard, please tell me they aren’t going to begin singing…”
Windigo Twilight
The snow glowed white on the mountain that night
Not a hoofprint to be seen
A kingdom of isolation,
And it looked like I was the queen.
The wind was howling like the swirling storm inside
Couldn’t keep it in, heaven knows I tried
Abstract Twilight (guessing what Windigo was feeling and remembering her own doubts)
Don’t let them in, don’t let them see
Be the good mare you always had to be
Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know
Well, now they know
(The storm gets worst but Faith and Abstract Twilight use their magic to protect themselves)
Let it go, let it go
Can’t hold you back anymore
Let it go, let it go
Windigo Twilight (in anger)
Turn away and slam the door
I don’t care
What you’re going to say
Let the storm rage on
The cold never bothered me anyway
Faith (thinking back on his own fall)
It’s funny how some distance
Makes everything seem small
And the fears that once controlled me
Had gotten to me at all
I went to see what I could do
To test the limits and break through
No right, no wrong, no rules for me
I was free!
(Faith rises up, dark and white magic swirling around him)
Let it go, let it go
I was one with the wind and sky
Let it go, let it go
They never saw me cry
Windigo Twilight (pressing her hooves to her ears, trying to block them out)
Here I stand
And here I'll stay
Let the storm rage on
(Dusk and Human Twilight gasp as the storm intensifies. Faith and Abstract Twilight leap into the air, however, jumping from one boulder-sized hail stone to another to reach Windigo Twilight.)
My power flurries through the air into the ground
My soul is spiraling in frozen fractals all around
And one thought will end it all with an icy blast
Abstract Twilight (Gently reaching up and pressing a hoof to Windigo Twilight’s check, Faith and her magics swirling around the broken-hearted mare)
You don’t have to go back,
The past is in the past
Faith and Abstract Twilight (Windigo Twilight in shock as he body begins to solidify into a solid ice form)
Let it go, let it go
And you’ll rise like the break of dawn
Let it go, let it go
That broken mare is gone
Windigo Twilight (smiling, tears in her eyes as Faith and Abstract Twilight guide her back towards the mountain)
Here I stand
In the light of day
Let the storm be done!
The cold never bothered me anyway
“I swear to you,” Faith said, giving the crying Windigo a hug, “you will never have to go back to that place… and you will have a home with us.”
Abstract Twilight chuckled with good humor. “As if our romantic life wasn’t already complicated… Trixie will love this.”
~MC~MC~MC~
“Bwahahahaha!” Sparsula laughed, holding out a golden trident and causing water the hit Twiligorn and Twilight Velvet. The evil Twilight was far fatter than any other Twilight around and her bottom half was not pony legs but rather writhing black tentacles. “Oh, how wonderful! Without that pesky blowhard King Tridon around to get in my way, I shall be able to sink this country under the waves and make it my new domain!”
“You know, I met ‘King’ Tridon once.” Sparsula looked up, only to howl in pain as the green fanblade of Seafoam Tremor came down on her hoof, slashing it and causing her to loose her grip on the trident. Seafoam, spotting Tydal and Twiley, hurled the golden weapon over to them, Twiley grabbing hold as Tydal began to rush the weapon away from the seawitch. “My mentor and I had a long talk with him and his decision to claim to be the ‘god of the sea’.” She laughed. “The seaponies like to think they are powerful but the capricorn race lets them think that because it amuses us.”
Sparsula growled. “I will turn you into a slug and feast on you… you little… slug!”
“Wow, fat and stupid, what a wonderful combination,” Seafoam said, rolling her eyes. “Obese tentacle-rape me, allow me to introduce my friends-“ Seafoam’s horns glowed and saltwater burst from the cobblestone street, allowing a purple whale, octopus, shark, crab and dolphin to swim around the seawitch. “-Twilight Orcle, Twilipus, Twiphin, Crablight, Twishark”
“Hello,” Twishark said, flashing her large, sharp teeth.
~MC~MC~MC~
“You are going down, evil Twilight!” Pinkie said, glaring at her target.
“Pinkie, darlin’…” Applejack said with a sigh, “that’s a bag of flour with a face drawn on it.”
Pinkie tilted her head. “Oh… right. It could still be an evil Twilight though, right?”
“No, it couldn’t,” Rainbow Dash said. “Come on, we have to go help the other Twilights!”
“Or… we could go and hide…” Fluttershy offered as they ran back into the battle.
The bag of flour shifted. “Good… good,” it cackled.
~MC~MC~MC~
“Why are you fighting me?” Doc Twiock demanded, using her tentacles to grab Queen Chrysalis and throw her right at the Doctor and Time Lord Twilight. “My work will see this world made into the one it should be: a world of machines and metal rather than magic! Isn’t that what you desire.”
“Actually, not quite,” The Doctor said, aiming his screwdriver at her in an attempt to shut down her tentacles. “Don’t get me wrong, I love a big beautiful piece of machinery as much as the next 900 year old alien from Gallopfrey but that doesn’t mean that I can’t admire the beauty of magic. It might not be something I can do but that doesn’t mean I should shun it. If I did that they I’d have to go without graham crackers since I can’t make them and a life without s’mores? How could one survive that?”
“Enough of you ramblings!” Twiock declared, tentacles launching out and grabbing both Time Lords by their throats, squeezing until the two ponies were scrapping their hooves against the metal claws in an attempt to free themselves. “If you will not stand with me-“
“Be careful what you say next,” Twilimus said, her alicorn armor fully in place. She aimed her horn cannon and fired, causing Twiock to lose her grip on the two. “You are right… one shall stand… and one shall fall.”
Twiock glared at the Cybertronian. “You? Of all the Twilights you should understand best what I am trying to do!” She moved towards the robot, glaring behind her sunglasses. “How are you any different from me?”
“Let’s find out,” Twilimus said, facemask sliding into place as she rushed the Doc.
~MC~MC~MC~
“Ok… so Princess Celestia and Aurora are fighting Twilight Von Doom over there…” Scootaloo mumbled to herself, doing her best to avoid as much of the carnage as possible. “Boss Twi is-“
“BURN SUCKER BURN!” The leader of the Saints shouted, waving her flamethrower in Drusparkle, Mistress of Vampires, direction.
“…having fun.” Scootaloo pursed her lips. “I think everypony is accounted for.”
“Indeed,” Nightfall said, landing right in front of Scootaloo. “You have caused me many problems, little one… I think it is time we had a chat.”
“Uh… wouldn’t you rather go fight Shining Armor or Agent Coltson?”
“No,” the leader of the League of Evil Twilights purred, her fangs gleaming in the light of the sun. “I think I’d much rather rip you apart with my magic and listen to your tortured screams as I bleed you dry!”
“That, uh, sounds neat. Counteroffer… let’s not and get cupcakes instead.”
“Sure,” Nightfall said. “I’ll start with an orange cupcake with purple frosting. One shaped like you.”
The filly scrambled back as Nightfall began to shoot beams of dark magic at her skidding hooves. “Ok, ok, another counteroffer-“
“No more talk and no more games. You have caused me nothing but trouble and while it has been amusing to watch you hurry about trying to stop me the game ends here, little Scootaloo. There is no pony left who can save you.”
“HEY!”
Scootaloo and Nightfall whipped around, staring at the Twilight who’d come to the orange pegasus’ rescue.
“My Scoots!” Baby Twilight declared, stomping her little hoof.
“Aw crap,” Scootaloo whimpered.
Nightfall let out a laugh, walking over to the foal. “oh, how cute… the baby is going to save you?” Nightfall leaned down, pressing her nose to Baby Twilight’s. The foal merely blinked, watching her. “How utterly pathetic. I am a god… I fear nothing, let alone this child.”
“Uh, Nightfall…” Scootaloo said nervously.
“What? Going to beg me to spare the tot? Don’t worry… after I am done killing you, Scootaloo, I’ll make sure to snap her little neck- AAAACK!”
Baby Twilight reached up, grasping Nightfall’s nose between her hooves, and easily lifted the dark mare into the air. She held her aloft for a moment, considering Nightfall, before glowering at her alternate dimensional self. Nightfall’s eyes went wide as Baby Twilight reared back and smashed her against the ground.
BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM
Baby Twilight paused.
BOOM BOOM BOOM!
“….uuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhh…” Nightfall groaned.
“Puny god,” Baby Twilight said before toddling over to Scootaloo. “Scoots!” She hugged the orange filly before whipping her head towards the battlefield, freezing every evil Twilight in place.
“Good girl,” Scootaloo said, hugging the baby as the heroic Twilights cheered their victory.
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Well... this chapter. This chapter was all about healing. For those of you that don't know, my mother passed away a few days ago after her long battle with Leukemia. This chapter has been how I have worked to regain some sense of normalcy, by focusing on humor and craziness and laughter. Its what she would have wanted.
Now, about the chapter itself: this one was fun as I got to do a ton of big and small set pieces. Discord and Delirium's song was always planned but the Windigo, Faith, and twilight song wasn't but I thought it worked so well for them that I included it.
I love the fact that I finally got to use Tydal's battle theme, the Immediate Music track 'The Day is At Hand'. I have had an idea for some time now to do a one-shot about little Celestia and Luna being attacked by a large pack Timberwolves only for Tydal to burst out and save them. That song inspired that scene but I never have had the chance to write the one-shot so I am glad I finally got to include Tydal's Theme in a story.
And hey, not only do you guys FINALLY get Griffin Twilight, but I also revealed Tydal's favorite brother, the god of winter Polar Vortex. Polar is based on St. North from Rise of the Guardians.
Sorry about your mother
Loved the avengers reference
Battle music to listen to while reading this:
~The lizardman is sorry to hear about defender's mother
I see the obvious connection between Elsa and Wendigo Twilight but is her story a full Frozen parallel and her friends were actually climbing her mountain to apologize before she was torn away?
Also, I'm sorry for your loss.
~The lizardman has successfully imparted his will onto the author
Wow. That was intense and crazy. I loved it. So now we just have to send all the twilghts back. This will be great.
4485846
Possibly. I haven't decided yet.
4485698 Sorry to hear about your mother. That must've been hard. But at least she's no longer suffering. You have my sympathy.
Sorry to hear about your mom...
4485946
I like the fact that Scootaloo is so scared about what is going to happen she is trying to WARN Nightfall to just walk away.
I'm sorry, I was unable to finish this chapter due to catching in unfortunate case of death by funny due to this line.
Sorry to hear about your mom. Great story you've written, it's nice to see some of the alternate Twilight's come together like changeling Twilight and so on.
Great
4485698
My condolences about your mother.
on a cheerier note, so much awesomeness and so many shout outs made me grin the whole way through a dn sing along with You're only second Rate and Let It Go, I like how you turned a solo Villain Song into a duet between a hero and a Villain who are equally matched. Wall breaker pretty much sums up my opinion on this chapter. 
So did Dalek Twilight adopt a baby pony at some point? Probably so it could be infected with some horrible disease before being returned to its species.
Cowboys vs Ninjas and Pirates!!!! So Awsome!
A so don't want to know how Rarity knows this.
Is this a very vague reference to Reign of the Supermen with GL facing Mongul?
I would pay to see that!
Would she happen to have an Australian accent?
This chapter was full of hilarity and win. Loved all the shout outs. And I had completely forgotten about Roly, nice to see her return. So what did you think of the Godzilla? It's been quite debated.
First off my condolences about your loss.
On the second, a insane chapter with many awesome and hilarious moments even as all of the Twilights together are sheer madness. Delirum and Discord were definitely one of my favourite sections along with the Abstracts and Windigo Twilight joint scene and song.
On the third some typos,
"Abstract twilight called out, stepping from her hiding spot and running over to join Faith, Twilight is a name, should be capitialized,
"Twilight in shock as he body begins", I think the word should be "Her".
That was everything that this story needed to eventually decend into, and it was glorious. The best part is that it makes perfect sense given what led up to it.
revealing now a pony’s face…- not
Funny as hell... though you missed the Dragonborn... ah well, hindsight! 
“Uh, was I suppose to fight- supposed
Abstract twilight- Twilight
T
a Frozen reference? really?
ugh, of all of the songs you could have parodied, it had to be Let It Go? not For The First Time In Forever?
Twippa: Twigheta, what does the scouter say about the reference level?
Twigheta: ... i'm not sayin' it.
Twippa: say it.
Twigheta: no.
Twippa: c'mon!
Twigheta: fine! ahem, IT'S OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAND!!!!
I'll be honest, my favorite part of this was Princess Twidorah. Closely followed by EBoF Twi.
4486535 Aaand what exactly did your comment say?
4486749
Yeah, the song works so well for the two of them boasting back at each other.
4486326
Yup and now I regret it because this was a better use of that song.
4486820
The broken leg GL had is a reference to the New 52 Justice League origin where darksied broke Hal's arm and he put on the same brace.
I like Narrator Twilight. She says what we're all thinking!
Poor Nightfall lol.
Huzzah! At last we meet Polar Vortex!
So wait, if the ponies are america/Europe, the Perytons are Russia, the griffons are Britain, the Zebras are Africa and I think something was said back in god squad or origins about Asia being tigers; then what race are the Capricorns? (if I had to guess based on Tydal's drinking habits and general good-nature until you inevitably piss him off, I guess i'd say... Australian maybe? or perhaps that just rampant provincialism talking.)
4490407
Capricorns are the Spartans of this universe. But there is a touch of Australian in there.
4490407 I always thought that dragons would be Asian or at least eastern asian
My favorite part of the fight was with Derpy Sparkle. I laughed a good minute before I could begin reading the rest of the story. So much humor in this one. I enjoyed it a lot.
4490665
In this world, due to the Equestria map pointing south and saying 'Here there be Dragons', the Dragon race is the South Americans/Mexicians of Equestria. Their deity (based on Quetzalcoatl) is the goddess of fire, heat, and the summer and is the counterpart of Polar Vortex, forming the second half of the Temperature Duo.
Of the deities introduced there are currently 4 groups:
The Origin Trio: Zeena, Fuzzy Thinker, Tydal
The Day/Night Group: Celestia, Luna, and now Twilight and Shining
The Abstracts (no, not those guys): Cadence, Chrysalis, and Mary Sue
Temperature Duo: Polar Vortex and Quetza
For one, I'm sorry for your loss and we are all happy to see you being able to cope.
One second note, you made me laugh like a hyena (in office, no less) with all those references.
Best chapter. Good job.
I feel bad for Human twilight though.
She's probably weirded out as to why all her other dimensional counterparts are horses.
My condolences for your loss.
Excellent job, this was a superlative chapter - too many high points to mention, though I think Mare-Ra comes close!
So many crossovers, it makes super smash bros make a run for its money.
4491292
Twilight Phantom. Like Danny Phantom. She needs a cameo.
But anyways, this chapter got me out of sadfic induced-depression.
So long, my fanfics won't write themselves!
I am sorry about your mother. my dad has gone through two bouts of leukemia, its a scary thing
Aww, but it's her perfect matchup!
4486820
He's over there all the time, you think he's never used her restroom?
(AWKWARD)
I am sorry for you loss, and may Jesus bring comfort to you and your family.
That was just as awesome as we hoped, with a delightful anti-climax at the end. Eclipse will never recover from the humiliation!!
I'm surprised nobody else has linked this video yet.
There is so much awesome, spectacular, gross, hilarious and just plain WEIRD in this thing that I don't know anymore.
Not complaining, just WOW!
Of course.
Precisely.
You are magnificent.
And there go my sides.
Oh clever.
Of course.
Indeed.
Sadly, Twilight Twilight IS an adult.
Stealing ouR bit. Also, yes.
OK.
You Magnificent Bastard.
And the awesome.
Wait, is that Polar? Is that Polar based on Nick St North from Rise Of The Guardians?! ALL MY YES!
This is full of yes.
Spike did something cool? AWESOME!
OK, show of hands, who saw this coming?
So much yes.
Killjoy.
Oh my.
Oh that's useful.
This is sounding very familiar.
Oh my god you're doing it.
Probably.
Oh my god it wasn't a joke.
You're kidding.
And cue The Touch!
OK, that's awesome.
Oh dear.
Wanna bet?
You're kidding me.
I don't believe it. That was awesome.
That was simply epic. And Yay griffie Twilight!
Snrk.
Cya
Raziel-chan
5864507
um, I don't want to THAT GUY, but I think you may have forgotten something here...
ARRRGGHH can someone just explain their romantic life to me already, i know that it involves Trixie, Twilight and Faith but all i can think of is a love triangel where everybody is connected (i realize i should just read "Faith and Doubt" and "The Abundance" but i need to know NOW)