Every filly grew up wanting to be a princess.
Oh, there were plenty that would deny it, of course, but that didn't make it any less true. They all looked up at that castle or stared at an image of Princess Celestia and wondered ‘what if that was me?’. It didn’t matter their temperament or their likes and dislikes or what kind of home they grew up in. Each and every one of them considered, if only for a moment, what it would be like. Just a glance at the small town of Ponyville, filled with its wide and varied array of mares, proved this theory true. If one had a mind-reading machine (either built or stolen from Princess Luna's secret workshop) and used it to view the memories of the ponies that called that little hamlet home, they would find that each and every one of these mares, no matter how old or young, had dreamt the same dream, if only once.
Just take, for example, the six mares who made up the Elements of Harmony. They had fantasized about such things when they were young.
Rarity, when she was 4 years old, had saved her bits for a full 3 months to purchase a little plastic crown from the local toy store. It was gold with little plastic gems and when one pressed the center-most jewel it would let off a little fanfare. Rarity had spent the next year happily trotting around her house, holding court with her stuffed animals while her father had played the part of faithful knight whenever his little filly asked him too. When Sweetie Belle had begged for a crown of her own Rarity had held a special ceremony to induct the newest little princess into the fold.
Pinkie Pie, before seeing the rainbow that had changed her life and taught her that joy could come from within, no matter where one stood, had looked up over the mountains and dreamed of a castle where everyone smiled and there was laughter. She had thought of the parties and the excitement that would be held in court. Having no dolls of her own, she had created her own nobility to join in the game of pretend: Madam Le Flour, Rocky and many others...
Rainbow Dash would violently deny ever dreaming about frilly dresses. If one asked her she would most likely buck them in the snout for trying to claim that she was into the frou-frou stuff. And she would be in her right; she had never dreamed of such things. But she had pictured herself in grand battle armor, leading her nation to victory over the perytons. She had been a warrior princess, standing on the front lines, rousing her soldiers to arms with grand speeches and even grander deeds.
Applejack, too, was not one for girly things. She liked to tussle about in the dirt and run along the fields as fast as she could just so she could feel the wind against her face. She wasn't one to have tea parties or braid the other mares' manes. But when her daddy had lifted her up on his back and called her his princess, she couldn't help but imagine that the trees were her subjects and the lands her kingdom. Sometimes, when no one was around, she would dream of those days and be her daddy's princess once more.
Fluttershy had dreamed too... dreamed of having the power to look at the ponies that bullied her and her Rainbow Dash and forcing them to apologize. She saw herself sitting on her throne, watching regally as the list of sins those filly and colts hade heaped on her, then demand they grovel and beg for her forgiveness and pardon, lest they face the guillotine (once she'd learned what a guillotine was, however, she'd let out a scream and had nightmares for a week).
And then there was Twilight. Of any of the mares living in Ponyville, she knew best of all what the life of a princess was like. First there had been Cadence, who she hadn't even realized was a Princess until much later in life, who'd told her all sorts of stories about life in Canterlot Castle. Her parents always smiled when the returned home to find Twilight performing waltzes to phantom music, her eyes half closed as she dreamed of herself twirling about the dance floor at the Grand Galloping Gala.
When she'd gotten her cutie mark Twilight had moved into that very castle she'd heard so much about and studied under Princess Celestia herself. How many little girls could honestly say that their mentor was an actual princess (the answer was two: herself and Sunset Shimmer, but Twilight didn't know that). Yes, their days had been filled with dusty tomes and old scrolls, but Celestia had also taken Twilight along to her Court, letting the filly scribble drawings while Celestia dealt out justice and heard the pleas of her little ponies (it was only years later that she had learned that one or two of her crayon drawings had been done on scrolls brought before Celestia; the greatest insult the Princess could think of for worthless proposals was to hand them off to Twilight to use while forcing their writer to watch).
She had talked with the hoofmaidens and waited with nobility and rubbed flanks with visiting dignitaries from Griffland to Tigrasia. Twilight had seen the inside of Celestia's private bedchambers and awoken to find her mentor with her mane in tangles and sleep crud in the corners of her eyes. She had seen not just the majesty of royalty but the reality, plain and simple.
Yes, Twilight Sparkle knew what life as a princess was really like and when she dreamed, she dreamed of changing that. She dreamed of using her station not as a ruler but as an innovator, changing the lives of her subjects for the better through her experiments. She dreamed of not preserving the status quo but improving on it. She saw Equestria as a grand invention that remained unfinished, waiting for the next brilliant mind to improve upon the design.
Is it any wonder that when she was crowned Princess Twilight just 3 months earlier she'd wasted no time setting that plan into motion?
She'd originally, after her coronation, moved back to Canterlot with Spike, getting her own little castle with its own guards and servants and handlers to see to her every need. There had been a grand ballroom and a pool and a bedroom bigger than Sugarcube Corner. From the moment she woke up to the moment she went to bed there was someone there, anticipating what she might need before she even realized it; it might be a blanket or a cookie or a flux capcitator (don't ask).
They were also there to tell her that princesses didn't spend their days in a dark room looking through a microscope. They were there to pull her away from her books and remind her that she needed to attend parties and visit the nobles that wanted to honor her in the hopes of receiving her patronage. They told her to go get some fresh air, to get some sun, to not spend all her time sitting around a dark room like some pathetic nerd (not in those words, of course; they didn’t want to be decapitated, afteral).
"Don't run, Princess, they will wait for you."
"Let us touch that, princess, that ancient tome is covered in dust."
"Please don't strain yourself attempting that spell, we have plenty of guinea pigs to try it out. Groundquake, go get another case of guinea pigs! And a mop to clean up after they explode!"
Is it any wonder that, in order to set her plan in motion, she'd fled to Ponyville?
The Golden Oaks Library was still without a librarian, luckily for Twilight. Truth be told, there was little chance of the library finding one anytime soon, as it simply wasn't a priority for Mayor Mare. Turns out that the only pony who used the library was Twilight (and Rainbow Dash but once she'd learned that Fluttershy was the author of Daring Do she simply had the buttercream mare send her advanced copies). The movers had never gotten around to moving all her equipment to the castle, mostly because the only moving company in Ponyville was still dealing with the lawsuit Derpy had filed for unjust termination ("Muffin Day is to a religious holiday!" she'd complained to the judge). The old tree served as the perfect place for Twilight to hide out and work on her experiments in peace, without dealing a hundred different ponies all telling her she shouldn't attempt to break the laws of physics ("Pinkie Pie exists," she'd told them a few days back after they had gotten rather vocal, "thus physics is already shattered").
She'd convinced her guards that she would be fine in her library and did not need them standing right beside her. They'd grumbled a bit at that but when she reminded them that even Celestia had come, from time to time, to Ponyville without an escort, they had been forced to concede the point and leave her be.
"Uh, Twilight?" Spike said nervously, standing of to the side. He was dressed in his standard 'Twilight is Experimenting' gear: a football helmet, hockey pads, insolated oven mitts and a jock strap with cup. "Are you sure this is safe?"
"Of course it is safe, Spike!" Twilight said, checking over the Bunsen burner that was bubbling away. "Do you think I would perform a spell that might be dangerous?"
"Well, there was the ‘Want it, Need it’ spell... and Starswirl's Spell... and that one time you tried that chant the Cutie Mark Crusaders used to summon that Old God-"
"Yes yes, but this time it is different! Back then, I was either under stress or doing research for Princess Celestia… and we sent Mr. Darksied back to his planet. Nothing here is dangerous."
"By itself," Spike said, edging away from her. "But I am pretty sure you shouldn't be performing five experiments at once!"
The main section of the library had seen its tables and chairs cleared away to allow Twilight more space to work. To Spike's left sat the Mirror of Worlds, the same one that had led to the strange dimension where ponies were bipedal ape-like creatures and he was a dog. A laser was pointed at the mirror, a quiet hum filling the air as the machine slowly ratcheted up the power of the beam. Left of this were several vials of water from the underground pool that had resulted in the infestation of Pinkies. After several ponies had point out that Twilight had kinda committed murder 30 times over, the newly minted princess had decided to see if this were the case and test the magic within the pool.
On a separate table was a swirling orb that kept changing colors. Within it contained an ounce of Discord's chaos magic, which Twilight had gotten by buttering up Fluttershy (not literally though, much to the sadness of stallions everywhere). Discord had warned her that it was impossible to understand his magic but Twilight was determined to figure out what made Discord different from the rest of his family. The elemental deities, such as Celestia, Luna, Fuzzy Thinker, Zeena and Tydal all commanded a single physical object and thus their magic was easy to understand. And while those such as Cadence and Chrysalis controlled abstract powers (love and drama, to be precise), there was a rhyme and reason to their powers.
On a cutting board next to the orb were scrapings of blue paint. To any pony that didn't know any better, it would appear to be just like any paint one might use on their house or barn. But this paint was special: Twilight had managed to scrape it from Doctor Whooves' blue box. A radiation spell she had been trying out a week ago had alerted her to the fact that the box was giving off strange spikes of energy and Twilight couldn't resist learning the truth behind these readings… and possibly about the strange stallion who kept talking about ‘timey wimey’ stuff.
Finally, sitting on the opposite side of the room, were the Elements of Harmony. When Twilight had first met her friends and found the items she had merely accepted the fact that these artifacts held great power. But as time went on and she needed to use the elements again and again, Twilight had become intrigued by the way the elements seemed to have a different affect on living beings. Princess Luna had been purged of her darkness via the Elements. When Discord had turned to stone Twilight had assumed that the elements reacted to the inner goodness within a being... if there was none the villain was punished and if there was enough they were redeemed.
Yet Fluttershy had proven that Discord did have some good inside of him. And Celestia and Luna had explained to Twilight that when they'd first sealed Discord away their adopted father, Lord Tydal of the capricorns, had pinned the chaos god down and had been struck by the elements too... only for it to have no effect, for ill or for good, upon the old sea goat. And then there was Twilight herself. When she and the alternate dimensional versions of her friends had used the elements it had briefly turned them into hybrid pony/humans.
Such powerful and seemingly random magic demanded her attention and Twilight was finally going to get some answers.
"Why can't you just do these experiments one at a time?" Spike whined.
Twilight laughed. "Spike, I'm a princess now! That means I can multitask better than any normal pony can. It would be a waste of time to do each spell one after the other. This way I get all my results at the same time!"
"...I'm going to hide in the basement, ok?"
~MC~MC~MC~
"I don't know about this, Scootaloo."
The orange pegasus filly glared at Applebloom as she checked over the ramp one last time. They were just outside of Ponyville proper, in the grassy plains that were perfect for romping and playing. The Golden Oaks Library was nearby but not close enough that they had to worry about keeping their voices down. On this day, the Cutie Mark Crusaders were not out looking for their cutie marks; no, today was all about Scootaloo and her most daring stunt yet.
"Applebloom, trust me! I wouldn't be doing this if it weren't safe."
Sweetie Belle's brow furrowed. "But if that were true we wouldn't do half the things we do do."
Applebloom snickered. "Dang it, Sweetie, don't say doo doo."
""Why? That's what we are discussing: what we do do."
"Word it a different way, Sweetie."
The white unicorn blinked. "... the stuff we do do?"
"Nevermind," Applebloom said, turning back to Scootaloo. "I just don't think we should be doing this without adult supervision! What if'n ya got hurt?"
"Hey, Rainbow Dash does this kind of stuff all the time!"
"Didn't she end up the hospital last year with broken wings?" Sweetie asked.
"Sprained but that doesn't matter!" Scootaloo grabbed her scooter and began to circle her friends. "No guts, no glory!"
"You go for this glory and ya won't have guts!" Applebloom pleaded. "They'll all be on the ground!"
Sweetie nodded. "I think Applebloom is right. This is really dangerous and if you do do this, you might... wait, I just got it! Doo doo!" The white unicorn filly let out a laugh. "Oh, I have to tell Rarity that one! She loves high brow humor!"
"Scootaloo, don't do this!" Applebloom pleaded, clearly frightened for her friend's safety. "Every time you try one of these big stunts they fail quicker than Granny's girdle after a big dinner!"
"But today is the day," Scootaloo said, narrowing her eyes. "I-"
~MC~MC~MC~
"-just know it, Spike," Twilight said as she moved towards the chaos orb. "Today is the day."
Twilight (pulling on her goggles and leaning over a Bunsen burner)
I know I have said it before
But this is it, I feel it in my heart
And yes, I suffered setbacks
and many a cruel false start
But today, yes today, is the day
Scootaloo (putting on her goggles and adjusting her helmet)
Others say, "Don’t get your hopes up"
"What if this is just like all of the rest?"
But I refuse to give up now
So I will give it all my best!
For today, yes today, is the day!
Twilight (checking over her calculations to make sure they are right)
I know that this is my moment
When I finally achieve my hard-fought goal!
There will be no more missteps
Tell every mare, stallion and foal
That today, yes today, is the day!
Scootaloo (examining her scooter to make sure it is ready)
There can be no backing down now
I committed and I am set about this path
And those demons that have plagued me
Shall finally feel my wrath!
Because today, yes today, is the day!
Spike (standing in the basement doorway, watching nervously)
Are you sure that you are thinking about this?
Sweetie Belle (standing with Applebloom, shifting from hoof to hoof)
We just don't want to see you hurt!
Twilight (whirls around, wings spread wide)
I will finally get my results
Scootaloo (leans over her handlebars, her wings beginning to beat)
I will finally leave the dirt
Twilight and Scootaloo (Twilight dancing around her experiments as Scootaloo races towards the ramp and goes flying in the air)
For today, yes today, is the day!
I have given this my very all
Ignored all the doomsayers that said no
I gave my blood and sweat and tears
So now I give it a go!
Yes today!
Yes today!
Yes today, yes today, is the day!
To... day.... is the... DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Today is the- CRAAAAAAAAAAPPP!!!!!!!!!
Twilight whipped around as the window shattered and Scootaloo crashed into the room, her little orange body striking tables and the many different instruments. Beakers went flying in the air and several machines began to spark and spew smoke up towards the second story of the library. The laser that had been hitting the Mirror shifted, causing the reflective surface to bounce the beam through the pool water before hitting the chaos orb. The magic sphere cracked and raw anarchy spilled out, thrashing about the library like a manticore with the trots. The paint for the Doctor's blue box liquidized and sprayed all over the place while the Elements of harmony charged up and filled the room with rainbow-colored light.
"This is all your fault!" Twilight and Scootaloo shouted at each other.
Spike's eyes widened as the entire library exploded, the door to the basement slamming into him and sending him toppling into the darkness.
~MC~MC~MC~
"No Rainbow… no… I don't wanna go to the Rainbow Factory," Scootaloo mumbled. The orange filly blinked her eyes, the real world tugging her from her dream. She slowly rose, grimacing slightly; it felt as if her entire body was one big bruise. "Oh clouddust," Scootaloo cursed.
The good news was that the library was still standing. The bad news was that nothing INSIDE the library was standing. Book cases had been toppled, the stairs had been shattered, the windows were blown out and the tables reduced to kindling. There was glass on the floor and puddles of what Scootaloo prayed was pudding staining the floorboards. The air was filled with the scent of roses and the electric smell one experienced right before a big storm. The doors and walls were blackened and the ceiling looked like a foal had hoafpainted a mural up there.
"I am so grounded."
"Ow."
Scootaloo's eyes went wide even as her pupils became the size of pinpricks.
"I blew up a princess... oh crap oh crap oh crap!" She rushed over to where the moaning was coming from and began to frantically dig through the debris. "I am so getting banished... or turned to stone... or turned to stone and then banished to someplace where the ponies eat stones..."
"Who's gonna banish you, Scoots?" Twilight asked, her head popping out of the debris.
"You are Twi-" Scootaloo's jaw dropped as she noticed several things at once:
1) Twilight was the same size as her.
2) Twilight sounded just like a filly
3) Twilight was a blank flank
"-double clouddust," Scootaloo whimpered.
And so it begins.
This story all came about from me thinking about alternate realities. We already have had a few... the Equestria Girl's reality, the Cross and Arrow reality... but I began to think of more and more of them and knew that it could be quite a fun fic. Then, when I hit upon the idea of turning the tables and having Scootaloo be the star, dealing with these alternate Twilights... well, it was too good to resist.
Next chapter will be called Twiley and give us some ideas on what has happened
....the BUTTS Agency?
Ok, I have to read this....
The plot kinda reminds me of the sweetie chronicles...
Looking forward to this story. The Many Secret Origins of Scootaloo was probably my favorite of your stories.
I'm curious as to which alternate realities you're planning on using. Do you plan to use Twilight's from other people stories, ie. Lunaverse or Past Sins Twilight?
Oh crap. Scoots, I think you're a bit screwed...
Oh. My. YES!
It is here, at last.
Write on,
Legion
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There is a VERY slight resemblance, but you will see VERY shortly that it is wildly different, especially when the Twilights begin interacting with each other.
3235213
I will only confirm that Snowblind's Twilight will appear in this story
This is like the opposite concept of TSC with the same premise. Interesting...
Paint from the TARDIS? ...What'd she do, blow up a galaxy just to scratch it?
A Rainbow Factory reference instead of a Cupcakes reference? You are a good person.
Your passages for each Element Bearer's childhood princess dream was nice to read. Following Applejack's sad reminiscences with Fluttershy's hilarious reaction reminded me of something Joss Whedon does: interjecting a sad or serious moment with humor (or cut off a good moment with something shocking and sobering).
Does Marv Wolfman get a royalty check for this?
Ok, for some reason, I read the title, and all I could think of was the Crisis on Infinite Earths miniseries of DC Comics that came out years ago...
Still, from the description, it does look interesting
This will be interesting, but that remains to be seen. I shall track this... FOR NOW...
So the first Twilight we meet is Filly Twilight. You just couldn't resist killing us with cuteness could you?
I look forward to seeing just how many different Twilights come out of this.
This is going to be good. Will you be using any Twilight's from other stories?
i got ya covered scoots,: "crap."
this... is gonna be good
First it was a Crisis of Infinite Pinkies... Now it's a Crisis of Infinite Twilights. Celestia help us if there's a crisis of infinite Derpys.
Fourth paragraph in, the description of filly Rarity and her father nearly killed me. Oh god my heart!
And filly Dash two paragraphs later caused me to involuntarily salute.
Well, there are always the multitude of Twilight clones in that tumbling place.
Looks like it's up to the BUTTS to handle this.
I misread that as "stallion" and made the sentence really awkward.
Well, I'm thoroughly amused already. Fav'd to follow, and instant thumbs-up for the song!
Scootaloo is so gonna get banished.
Or turned to stone.
Or turned to stone and banished to a place where ponies eat stone.
Hehe, BUTTS. I´m so reading this later.
There were SO many little things in this that just had be saying "yes" over and over, and a few of those actually caused me to giggle-snort. I do not giggle-snort. ever. But you made me do it.
End all? I love this. Please please please let this be one of those fics that updates 10 times a week!
So let me get this straight. The Cutie Mark Crusaders summoned DARKSEID?
How the hell did Equestria survive the Self-proclaimed GOD OF EVIL?
........ Let's see how this fic turns out, I expect some more ridiculious Shennigans
Am I the only one the notices that the title is a clear homage to "Crisis of Infinite Pinkies" by Skirts. I thought it was obvious, but no one has said it yet, so maybe I'm wrong.
3236091 Nope. Both are a reference of Crisis of Infinite Earths, a DC universe thing/
3235504
...For as much a good person as you can be for referencing a gorefic.
So far so good. and a musical number too, i love musical numbers.
3235520 same doesn't help that I re-read the mini series last night
Suddenly I saw some bold letters in the description and then I saw it was the BUTTS agency.
How did you come up with that one?
I am sad that Antimonitor!Twilight's group is not called Every Villain Is Lemons. Because then we could have BUTTS vs EVIL!
3235565
I have already designed 24 different Twilights that will appear and have at least a chapter dedicated to themselves.
Dont tell me.
We all went on reading this because one of the reasons was BUTTS.
3236581
I'll be happy if Draconequus Twilight hits on Discord.
3235067 I wonder if you're going to make your Twilight Sparkle from your story, come out and just have fun with that. certainly would be entertaining.
Gentle Breeze guide your path, and a warm smile welcome you home.
This story is very promising. The description is well-written, quite thorough without dragging on what's unnecessary, and pretty funny. The musical number was good as well.
There are some typos though, which I'll point out later. For now I'll mention the lines I liked most;
'If one had a mind-reading machine (either built or stolen from Princess Luna's secret workshop),'
'Rarity had spent the next year happily trotting around her house, holding court with her stuffed animals while her father had played the part of faithful knight whenever his little filly asked him too. When Sweetie Belle had begged for a crown of her own Rarity had held a special ceremony to induct the newest little princess into the fold,'
'(once she'd learned what a guillotine was, however, she'd let out a scream and had nightmares for a week),'
'(it was only years later that she had learned that one or two of her crayon drawings had been done on scrolls brought before Celestia; the greatest insult the Princess could think of for worthless proposals was to hand them off to Twilight to use while forcing their writer to watch),'
'She saw Equestria as a grand invention that remained unfinished, waiting for the next brilliant mind to improve upon the design,'
'Groundquake, go get another case of guinea pigs! And a mop to clean up after they explode!,'
'Turns out that the only pony who used the library was Twilight (and Rainbow Dash but once she'd learned that Fluttershy was the author of Daring Do she simply had the buttercream mare send her advanced copies),'
'He was dressed in his standard 'Twilight is Experimenting' gear: a football helmet, hockey pads, insolated oven mitts and a jock strap with cup,'
'and that one time you tried that chant the Cutie Mark Crusaders used to summon that Old God,'
'Nothing here is dangerous."
"By itself," Spike said, edging away from her. "But I am pretty sure you shouldn't be performing five experiments at once!",'
'After several ponies had point out that Twilight had kinda committed murder 30 times over, the newly minted princess had decided to see if this were the case and test the magic within the pool,'
'which Twilight had gotten by buttering up Fluttershy (not literally though, much to the sadness of stallions everywhere),'
'Cadence and Chrysalis controlled abstract powers (love and drama, to be precise),'
'their adopted father, Lord Tydal of the capricorns,'
'"...I'm going to hide in the basement, ok?",'
'"No guts, no glory!"
"You go for this glory and ya won't have guts!" Applebloom pleaded. "They'll all be on the ground!",'
'"Every time you try one of these big stunts they fail quicker than Granny's girdle after a big dinner!",'
'raw anarchy spilled out, thrashing about the library like a manticore with the trots,'
'the real world tugging her from her dream,'
'The good news was that the library was still standing. The bad news was that nothing INSIDE the library was standing,'
'puddles of what Scootaloo prayed was pudding staining the floorboards'
and
'"I am so getting banished... or turned to stone... or turned to stone and then banished to someplace where the ponies eat stones..."'
Here are the typos I found;
'Buerau' should be 'Bureau,'
'flux capcitator' should be 'flux capacitor,'
'afteral' in 'they didn’t want to be decapitated, afteral,' should be 'after all'
and
'Darksied' should be 'Darkseid.'
And I'm not sure if it's a mistake, but Fluttershy refers to Rainbow Dash as 'her' Rainbow Dash in the eighth paragraph.
This is pretty good. Had little doubt that it would be. I like the concept, I can't wait to see where you take it. It most certainly isn't bad that's for sure.
Looking forward to seeing all of the many Twilights.
Awww yeah. I've been looking forward to this for a while now, and the first chapter looks like it's off to a good start. Right away, the impression I got was that the narrative is a little more... let's say 'stable' than The God Squad, and more in the style of The Many Secret Origins of Scootaloo. Plenty of time for the boulder of wackiness to start rolling down the hill toward the orphanage as it goes, and also causing me to think that your version of the pantheon are actually Lovecraftian beings who project an aura of insanity around them.
Even Celestia.
ESPECIALLY CELESTIA.
Which means that Discord, to quote the Joker, is just ahead of the curve.
3235292
Gotta admit, this fillls me with both pride and stomach-butterflies, even though the concept is originally based on one of yours to begin with. Even though they're still incomplete, between Snowblind, Lunar Eclipse: The Rock Opera (shameless plug, ahoy!) and the messages between us, I hope I defined her character well enough for you to use.
3235908
Kinky. Maybe she's still got a thing going on with Hairy Grabber.
3236581 It's all about the plot!
Is it wrong of me to fave and upvote this fic before I read it, because I trusted the author this much?
Hmm...Buerau of Undoing Trouble from Twilight Sparkle
Buerau of Undoing Trouble from Twilight Sparkle
B.U.T.T.S.
Well, I love this story all ready
3236998
Only if you don't have evidence that what they've written will be good.
I've read the summary; that's evidence enough for me
I like it!
This is my type of humor (I love references) and I love how you write the CMC, it feels like them but is somehow more entertaining than watching them in the show.
Very minor technical nit-pik
I'm pretty sure this should be "too".
Other than that, I'm looking forward to more.
*Fimfiction's entire reaction to this story*
B.U.T.T.S.
I like it.
True, but I'm still gonna read it 3235137