After my strange vision faded away, I looked at the group of equines that had huddled back together once more with eyes hidden by hooves, apparently crying. The few eyes I could see reflected terror and horror at what I'd done. However, something was... strange. As I ponder on what that was, I noticed that there was a pink one in a strange grey costume there that, for some reason, had a large smile that seemed to be almost stretching the borders of her face. I put that thought aside for now, and, deciding that talking to them now was out of the question, turned and walked away in the forest.
I don't know why but I felt wrong just leaving them there, yet I also feel fine about it; like I don't care whether they live or die. I walked for fifteen minutes or more and finally thought something that I didn't expect to think.
‘I...well I...I hope they make it out safe.’
‘What are you saying? You shouldn't care about those things. They're pathetic weaklings.’
The sudden ‘voice’ caused me to spin around to look for another, my sword drawn from my sash and held up to cut whoever spoke to pieces.
"Who are you?"
‘Who, me? I have no name. But if you want to call me something... call me… Instinct. More precisely, yours.’
'Whoever this guy is, it’s like I’ve met him before. And something tells me I'm not going to like him very much.'
‘Well that's not very nice; you hurt my feelings.’ This thought carried a severe amount of sarcasm with it.
"Show yourself, I’d rather not seem crazy," I called out, looking around to try and spot whoever the mystery person – or creature – was, “And how do you know what I’m thinking?”
'Tch, well, to the second, of course I know. I live in your head, dumbass, so getting out is something I’d like as well. So the first is out too.'
While I was having my short talk with my so called Instinct I was so engrossed I barely sensed the presence of something behind me.
"SURPRISE!!!" Was all I heard after turning around, sword already mid-swing, before getting a face full of confetti and balloons and freezing in place to avoid killing whatever snuck up on me.
‘WHAT THE FUCK!!!’
"Now watch your language there, mister" said a bubbly, yet somewhat stern, female voice. At least, I was pretty sure it was female.
'I wonder how she could hear that so called "Instinct" guy in my head?'
"I read this chapter, silly," The confetti cleared and revealed the pink pony that was missing from earlier looking at the sky, "and by the way, thanks for taking over from Bradledew, Phoenix! It was getting boring in that place!" Now I was confused; she was talking towards the sky and sounded somewhat rather happy. My guess is she's not right in the head.
"Why...are you talking to the sky?"
"IwastalkingtotheauthorsillyandbythewaymynamesPinkaminaDianePiebutyoucancallmePinkiePie. Ialsowanttoknowwhatyournameis?" She seemed to have said all this in one breath which to me seems… pretty much impossible. But I’d caught the last of it and it caused a question. What is my name?
"I don’t know my name...I'm really confused, it almost makes me angry, yet....I also feel somewhat content without knowing my past." Why do I feel these mixed feelings? Why am I unhappy yet content with the loss of my memories? I'm so, so very much confused. I need to take a walk to try and blow off some steam, even.
"Well don't worry! I'll give you a name, mister!" The pink equine chirped happily, “And we’re all ponies, not just equines!” I blinked at this, as I’d not asked her anything about either. Though I still filed the term ‘ponies’ away into my mind.
"Why would you do that?"
"Because I don't want someone to be sad, plus I need to know who I'm throwing a party for." A massive gasp cut the air. “Wait, do you like cupcakes? I mean everypony lovesmycupcakesbutyou’renotaponysoIhopeyoudolikecupcakes-“
"You would really do that?" I interrupted, feeling that, for one, she wouldn’t stop, and two, as she nodded rapidly, I felt somewhat happy that she is doing this for me. Almost makes me feel like a new person, or... whatever I am. "Just don't make it stupid, or I'm leaving."
"Okie dokie lokie!"
‘I liked it better when you only tried to kill stuff like you used to do but...this place...it's making you soft. I want you to go destroy stuff, kill, obliterate mountains, I DON'T CARE! Anything but this talking and talking. Just get it over with already, I just can't take it.’
'Shut it.'
'Tch, fine,' 'Instinct' muttered before disappearing to wherever it was it came from for the moment.
"Okay Pinkie, tell me the name."
"Let’s call you Big Meanie Skull-face." I was not amused.
"That's it. I'm leaving." I said as I walked away from a confused party pony.
"Did I say something wrong? I was only kidding, please don't walk away! We could call you Horns maybe? No? Okay, well, I'll let you know when I figure something out,” she called out before turning back the way we came, muttering under her breath all the while.
After a few minutes, 'Instinct' returned.
‘It's about time you left, now what should we fight out here besides weak little ponies, wooden wolves, and an over sized bear?’
‘How am I supposed to know? I don’t even know where here is.’ We walked on for about a few hours and still nothing.
*MEANWHILE*
=========================
Back at the spot of the Ursa Major’s corpse, the Elements finally recollect themselves and notice they're not dead. Well, except Fluttershy, who sadly is just too scared to even dare move, let alone speak - only small “eeps” were heard - even when they try to calm her. The rest tried to avoid the sight of the Ursa's burnt, bloody corpse.
"Now it’s alright now sugarcube, the monster is gone, wherever it went." Said Applejack trying to calm Fluttershy and failing.
"Eep!"
"Yah she's not gonna to be movin’ from that spot for awhile Twahlight. Ah suggest we stay here or at least try t’ move her somehow."
"Well, Applejack, before we could move her we need to find Pinkie - she seems to have gone missing."
"Well Ah think that the creature with them horns has gone an’ took her, but that's just what ah'm thinking. Plus the creature’s gone as well, that has to be some proof that it took her."
"Applejack, you might be right, yet also wrong since I think Pinkie followed it."
"Why's that?"
"There's hoof prints leading in the direction of the creature’s magical energy."
"So why would she follow that thang?"
"My guess it was Pinkie being Pin-” The sound of Pinkie’s infamous Party Cannon sounded out in the forest, “and there's Pinkie." Twilight gave a groan followed by a face-hoof.
"Ah'll go wake up Rainbow and get the others on their hooves. Y'all go get Pinkie before she gets hurt."
"Okay. I'll bring Pinkie back as soon as I can.”
"Ah'll be right behind yah, Sugarcube." As Applejack said this, Twilight galloped off toward the direction of Pinkie Pie and the creature had gone.
Applejack watched the librarian disappear into the trees, before turning to the unconscious speedster. With a series of pokes, Rainbow slowly regained consciousness with a groan while holding her head in her hooves.
“Seems all them times hittin’ the library shelves paid off, huh?” Applejack chuckled when Rainbow opened her eyes.
“Ugh, didja catch the chariot that hit… Wait! Where’s that monster?!” Rainbow exclaimed, looking around and privately thinking to give it a real pounding the next round before staring at one point. “A-Applejack?”
“Yeah?”
“What happened to the Ursa Major?” This question gave Applejack pause as she thought back to what she'd seen. Deciding to do as she always had, she told the truth.
"The monster happened, RD. Knocked 'round like Ah buck apples. Horseapples, that thang went and flipped it," Applejack answered gravely, looking at the destruction caused in the battle.
"W-well, at least we can take it now!" Rainbow exclaimed, the confidence in her voice growing, "The Ursa had to had done some serious damage, all we gotta do is- "It walked away, sugahcube," Applejack cut in, Rainbow giving her an irritated stare that melted into disbelief, "without so much as a splinter or a scrape, that thing took down an Ursa Major."
Rainbow's mind struggled to comprehend this as she stared at the corpse once more, almost missing what Applejack said next.
"Let's just hope tha' the Princesses can handle this thang."
=========================
"Hmm, Bones? Maybe. Spike? Wait, no, that names already taken. How about Skullhead? Oh wait, he can talk and isn’t wearing a suit. Hmm this is a tough one,” Pinkie muttered to herself, sitting against a tree when Twilight ran into view.
"Pinkie, there you are!"
"Oh, hey Twilight, how are you doing?"
"I'm fine, but what about you? Did that thing hurt you in any way?"
"Don't worry, I'm fine. All we did was talk a bit and then he walked off for no reason."
"Okay… but what are you doing exactly?"
"I told him I would give him a name since he doesn't have one and then I'm going to throw him a party." Twilight rose an eyebrow at this.
"That’s… very nice, Pinkie, but first we need to meet up with the rest of the girls and head back to the library to inform the princesses."
"Okie dokie lokie."
center]========================Once Twilight and Pinkie returned to the group, they were met with the sight of Applejack carrying a fainted Rarity and Rainbow guiding Fluttershy, who had her eyes closed tightly. Before Twilight could ask what was going on, Applejack, carefully, set Rarity down before leading her back to the clearing.
“Brace yaself, it ain’t pretty,” Applejack warned before directing their gazes to the Ursa. Twilight went silent at the sight, her mind working overtime to comprehend. Deciding to wait until they were out of the Everfree, Twilight turned and picked Rarity up with her magic before using a locater spell to direct them to Ponyville.
Twilight and friends made it out of the Everfree within thirty minutes without any problems; most likely because of the new creature scaring the other inhabitants away. When they got to Ponyville, all was as they had left with little fillies and colts going around getting candy. With a silent agreement, they split up, Rainbow taking Fluttershy home, Pinkie racing off to get candy while Applejack shouldered Rarity again and trotted to the fashionista’s home.
As Twilight walked to the library, there were many others just playing games or talking to each other to pass the time. Then there was Spike and the CMC holding bags full of candy, mainly just enjoying themselves and having fun. Twilight chose to let Spike have his fun and continued on towards the library to make a note to the Princesses to inform them of the creature she found.
"Dear Princess,
I must inform you that I have found an unknown creature that seems to have fallen along with Princess Luna's meteor shower. This creature seems to have an unknown type of magic that not only seems dark, but is extremely powerful. This creature seems to be bipedal with what seems to hands or claws like Spike’s, except with five digits. It is rather tall, has tufts of red fur at its wrists and ankles, along with what appears to be a collar, a orange mane, black markings on its body and, perhaps most scarily of all, it has a hole through its chest.
I should also point out that this creature appears to wear a skull-like mask over its face, with carnivorous teeth and large horns similar to a Minotaur, that covers its eyes.
The creature, for some reason, actually saved me and my friends from an Ursa Major, though killing it in the process, but only I and probably Pinkie saw this, before walking away into the Forest. Everypony else was too scared to look and from what I saw, I wish I hadn't. The creature just released so much energy, its attack could probably match an S-class offensive spell and not even I can do that class yet. I hope this information can help you figure out what this thing is and what we should do.
Your Faithful Student, Twilight Sparkle."
"Now, I just need to wait for Spike so I can actually send this." Currently it was about 8:36, close to Spike's bedtime of 9:00 so he should be back shortly.
*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*
"I wonder who that could be at this time of night," Twilight mused as she went over to the door to see not only Spike but somepony she didn't expect. "Princess Luna!"
3087436 Oh, that'd be GOLD as a meme xD
interesting so far, lets see where it goes from here
need more prity pleaz
I do wonder how powerful you will make his cero oscuras. Or even a gran rey cero.
Because both of them severely outclass the standard cero you made him use versus the bear.
When you remade the first chapter I thought it was good yet not completely interesting second chapter has interested me.
princess luna dun dun dun moment? naa... by the way how can the main six ponies see the dead spirit hallow in the first place!? is it because there the bearer of harmony does that have anything to do with it? is it just like with normal living humans that can't see the dead? so does it apply to other ponies as well? no yes maby?
3088522 I think it's the magic in the ponies which enables them to see hollows
THIS SHIT IS SO F**** AWESOME THAT YOU HAVE TO CONTINUE
This pleases Popo.
i.imgur.com/JAcGzcv.gif
3088522 Magic.
if a cero (i assume it was) is a s class i wonder what a granray cero would be.....or something like ulquiora's special
Twilight broke her pinkie promise
Pinkie's casual fourth wall breaking interfering with the flow of the narrative and immersion is also a pain in the arse, so can you please keep that to a bare minimum?
———Please?
3088085
I'm not sure he knows how to use Gran Rey Cero or Cero Obscuras. He never used them, so we can't assume he can use them.
———And he doesn't really need to know them anyways. I mean, honestly, what is there in Equestria—besides Discord (Discord doesn't count, he doesn't even fight)—that could stand up to the might of Hollowified Ichigo and even hope to survive?
"Vasto Lorde" Hollow Ichigo is an entity that can move at hypersonic speeds up to the double-digits (easily Mach 10+), strike with blows capable of pulverizing skyscraper-sized buildings that create destructive shockwaves from the sheer force of swinging his sword, and repeatedly fired off ("Crimson" Cero and enhanced Getsuga Tenshou) and successfully withstood (Cero Oscuras and Lanza del Relámpago) attacks that are capable of large town-level destruction—equivalent to several dozens of kilotons up to a couple megatons of TNT—comparable to lower-yield nuclear weapons.
Unless one were to upgrade the speed, strength, durability, and destructive power of the Princesses—to an significant degree, given the fact that "Mighty Celestia" was one-hit KOed by the supposedly underdog Queen Chrysalis in a most decidedly unimpressive manner—nothing in Equestria should compare to him.
...Additionally, he's not really even "evil" at the moment, so something like the Elements of Harmony isn't necessarily going to work on him either. Besides, he's more than fast enough to simply dodge or stop them from using it, anyways.
Discord should have been able to dodge it too, but he's a childish moron, so whatever.
The Ursa didn't even call for a Cero. Merely punching it with one fist would have been enough to kill it.
3090854 I do promise to keeping the fourth-wall breaking to the absolute minimum. I was talking about her godamn speed-chatting. Seriously, I don't know how the hell her VA manages that...
I have decided, for the sake of not making Ichigo's Hollow (Let's face it - people thought that the moment they saw the pic) over-effing-powered, to scale him down a bit. Just a bit, though. For reference, think of the Princesses along the lines of the Captains, and the Hollow is almost-Kenpachi.
Also, this is Hollow Ichigo with amnesia - He's still working out his abilities. Quick spoiler, don't wanna know, don't read. For starters, 'Instinct is behind his first use of Cero. .
3092492
Meh. It's probably for the best. The Princesses don't even have combat feats (we're not counting Celestia vs Chrysalis, because that was just pathetic), much less ones comparable to Hollow Ichigo.
As for the reference bit... bleh, "almost-Kenpachi" is a massive, massive downgrade—namely because Hollow Ichigo's feats pretty much blow all of the Captains' away in comparison. Seriously, even Kenpachi is creamed without much contest. I think it would be more appropriate if it took both Princesses working together overtime just to keep him busy—they're just barely able to keep him from pushing them back, and aren't able to push him back themselves.
Ultimately, if this Ichigo is in character (even with the amnesia) that doesn't really matter; while in a "Hollow" state (with the mask on) his fighting style is noted to be distinctively more "Hollow-like" anyways—based on instinct—so he doesn't necessarily even need to consciously know how to use his innate skills and abilities to use them, since they're instinctive. Plus, Zangetsu ("Instinct") would take over whenever his life is in danger, just as he has ever other time—that's canon (even stated directly in the source) so you'd have to completely ignore that to get around it. Basically, if they push him too far, "Instinct" comes out to play—and from that point on, the situation takes a hard 180, forces them to bend over, and doesn't use lube. In summary, they'd be screwed hard in short order if it ever got to that point.
My point is—Hollow Ichigo is supposed to be a terrifyingly overwhelming force, even to really powerful characters like Ulquiorra. Making him not overwhelming is... well, outright wrong.
3092533 Now, did I say at any point that he wouldn't be an overwhelming force? ;)
3092603
This:
As strong as Kenpachi is, the Captains should be able to reliably handle him without too much difficulty. He's kind of over-hyped for how little he's actually done.
Then again, it's Kubo... fucking god-awful troll writing.
And Hollow Ichigo, even without active knowledge of his own abilities like the one in your story, should be able to handle Kenpachi without much difficulty.
Alrighty, I'm currently going through some rewrites of Chapter 1 to smooth it out a bit. Hopefully that'll help with pacing, but I have no idea.
Now, this (and the next post of mine) are polls;Thumbs up, if you'd like me to lengthen the Ursa Major fight a bit. (And by that, I mean no Cero one-shot.)Thumbs down, leave as is.And this poll;Thumbs up, I change from Hollow POV to just second person view instead of changing back and forth.Again, thumbs down, I leave as is.In two days time (so 5:40 Monday for me) I'll be looking at the votes. Two days should be enough time.Results are done, check my latest comment.
Twilight wanted to help identify it to the princesses? Are they automagicly supposed to know what it looks like?
Lol! Pinkie is crazzzy!
The biggest and idiotic thing you have done is WHAT ARE THE FREAKING CLASSES OF SPELLS, DO THEY GO TO Z OR SOMETHING?
...I'm not entirely sure how did I get here.
Still, it's a pretty good read.
...
Is this really necessary? The massively overused, massively cliched "Voice in the Head" trope? That kind of thing tends to ruin so many good stories.
Well, there goes pretty much all of my enjoyment of an otherwise interesting fic. Pinkie is nothing more than a massively OoC fanon caricature without the slightest attempt at characterization ("What? You mean very subtle 4th wall breaking which isn't incredibly overused isn't the only thing her characterization has?" ), and the amount this was drawn out leads me to think it isn't going to get any better.
Just so you know, there is more to Pinkie than breaking the 4th wall. And, what most authors (and I can't even begin to fathom why this is the case) can't seem to realize is that Pinkie doesn't break the 4th wall this freaking obviously. Also, this massively OoC moment (I guess she wanted to hang out with RD) reminded me of another moment. Why was Pinkie smiling? I just can't understand. I mean, all the others reacted in a way that was easily believable, so you know the effect that seeing that kind of carnage would have on the relatively innocent ponies, so why leave Pinkie out? I mean, you do realize that her character isn't just based off of cheap 4th wall gags, right? Right?
Edit: I apologize for the harsh tone, but I'm just frustrated at seeing this kind of characterization for Pinkie in practically every story with a similar premise, and I'm afraid I took that out on this story. I still hold to my critique, but I shouldn't have been so harsh with it.
If this is Ichigo's hollow it only has one voice it doesn't have multiple personalities or voices. So making some 'instinct' the red writing makes no sense