-It's too bright...- Twilight thought as she squinted through the incredibly white colour around her, barely able to make out the shapes of others around her. She struggled to lift a hoof, only to find her strength seemed to be non-existent.
-Who said that?- a brash voice came from her left. One of the shapes in that direction and in front shifted, revealing a silhouette of something reaching out to the side while a much shorter extension was on the other side.
-R-rainbow D-Dash? I-is that y-you? a timid voice sounded from behind Twilight and to the right.
-Goodness, this is certainly one powerful light,- remarked a posh voice that seemed to originate from behind Rainbow and Twilight.
-Ah'll say, it's like staring at the sun up close and personal like,- stated a Southern accent behind Twilight.
-Could really use more colour, I think...- mused a squeaky voice contemplatively.
-Enough.-
At the sound of the wizened tone, the intense light faded away to a more acceptable level that allowed the six to see their surroundings, which seemed to be a circular, unmarked room of stone, clearly and stand shakily to their feet. Before them stood a Pegasus with a grey coat, wings folded over a two-coloured, monk-like robe, most of it being white with the rest black, the hood serving to obscure his features, aside from the glowing light blue mist that trailed slightly from his eyes. Turning around, he inclined his head for the group to follow him along a stone passage as he said in the same tone, -They will see you now.-
-Who will?- Rainbow asked before noticing the others staring at her in a mixture of shock and confusion, asking, -What? I got something on my face?-
-Rainbow...- Twilight said, her mouth not moving to form the words, before she noticed herself doing it and began softly babbling gibberish.
-Come. Patience is a virtue, but delaying is, at times, an insult.
Snapping her head around, Rainbow growled at him, -Oh yeah? Well, patience this!- Charging at the Pegasus, who still had his back turned, she leapt to tackle him, only for a wing, partially unfurled with a single primary extended, to stop her dead in the air. With a flick, he sent her rocketing back to skid to a stop next to her friends.
Folding his wing to his side, he turned his head to gaze at them as he said, -Fighting me is pointless. You have no strength here. Now, come. They will see you now.-
-Who are 'they'?- asked Twilight, slightly over her shock at everypony becoming telepathic in this place, as they began following their guide. Despite the lack of torches or other such sources of illumination, they had no trouble seeing the plain tunnel, nor the pony leading them.
-They are who will judge you. You will see them for yourself,- was the grave reply, despite the neutral tone.
Some time later, the group found themselves standing in a large, ancient-looking amphitheatre of moss-covered and cracked stone, two massive arches side by side in front of them with a tall cross separating them. Silently, the Pegasus left the six alone.
After a moment of nothing, Rainbow asked the rest, -Well, what now?- Her answer was the interior of both arches bursting into light, the left side an ominous dark red while the right was a pure pale yellow. Vague, shadowy forms were seen in both, the left broad and tall, with eyes like fire, while the right was thin and petite with eyes blue as the sea. The six all instinctively huddled together, Fluttershy becoming all but invisible.
-Are you the Bearers of the Elements of Harmony?- a soft, feminine, breeze-like voice said, the blue eyes looking down at the six trembling at the display, whom nodded after a moment.
What was to be said next was interrupted as the Pegasus re-entered saying, -Apologies, Masters, but the Raven has arrived.- A dark shape flew over his head as he spoke, banking into a turn as it reached the cross. Alighting on the top of it, the shape turned out to be just that - an ordinary raven that sat preening inky black feathers that seemed to absorb light with a beak like ebony, eyes a shade of gold.
The left shadow's eyes narrowed as it spoke in a rumbling bass, -What business have you here, Raven?- Said raven, eyes glinting as it regarded the shape to it's right, spoke in a cunning tone only a thief could be proud of, -My Master wishes that I take part in this, that he may interject should he so desire. We are Neutral, as you should remember; it is his place to break any ties that should occur.-
-You make it sound like your important, but you don't look anything special,- Rainbow shot, before the others managed to quiet her. With a blink, the raven's eyes landed on Rainbow Dash with a fearsome glare.
-'Nothing special', eh?- he paraphrased, a smirk hidden within his voice, -Well, then... how about NOW?!- With a flare of his wings he sent a blast of wind towards the group which concealed himself in a whirlwind of silver. As they opened their eyes from the sudden burst, they saw that the raven had, inexplicably, grown to the size of Ponyville's Town Hall. Grey markings ran down his wings and body while an eerie mask of bone lay upon his face, covering the top of his beak and flaring out at the back into three fins. His talons gripped the arms of the cross comfortably as he folded his wings and stared down his beak at the ponies and challenged Rainbow Dash, -Still think I'm an ordinary raven, pony? I am known as the Raven, messenger of the Neutral Master whose name was lost long before this world existed.-
-I apologise for my friend, but,- Twilight said, cutting Rainbow off, -where are we, and just who are you?-
-The answer to those questions are of no concern to you,- rumbled the red shade, sending a glare at the gigantic bird before regarding the petite shadow as well, -Now, shall we begin?- As both gave their consent, the Raven, eyeing the shade a moment as a message seemed to flash between them, looked at the ponies and began;
-We meet here at this time, within the realm between realms, to discuss the actions that you six have enacted recently and, most importantly,- here his manner became serious, -The consequences of those actions.-
=================================
"Twilight... please... no..." whimpered Celestia, tears dripping down her face as she stood still in shock, Luna practically comatose. An enraged bellow sounded behind her as Shining Armour, stumbling slightly from his still-new prosthetic, charged at the still-present cloud with his horn wrapped in magenta light, a military sword being summoned to his side and drawn.
A black shape, barely visible in the smoke, made an abrupt motion and all save Shining shied away as the cloud was dispersed forcefully. As Shining cleared the last bank of cloud that was sent away from the shape, he swung his blade wildly only for the familiar black blade to parry it, sparks flying everywhere. With a sudden swing, the sword in Shining's magical grasp was cut in half, and he felt himself being lifted into the air, the creature's hand wrapped around his neck. Fighting for air, he looked to glare at the creature, only to find it somewhat different.
Where earlier it had been barechested with a type of ruined robe and sash covering it, somehow the robe had been mended seamlessly, revealing them to be some kind of pants, while a long black coat covered it's shoulders, arms and back, the front left open with the hole in it's chest for all to see.
"I already told you..."
These words, followed by the sword lifting into a position to stab him through the head, caused Shining to start panicking as the monster's head became visible, shadowed eyeholes revealing white skin at the edges of the vivid yellow eyes themselves.
"I've had enough..." The sword was drawn back as Shining's efforts to free himself became frantic and violent.
"OF YOUR SHIT!" The sword tip grew startlingly close to Shining in just a second, the sheer force of the creature being shown once more.
=================================
-Consequences? You make sound like we're being punished,- said Rainbow, confusion written all over her face.
-Perhaps you should be,- commented the Right Shadow, the blue eyes staring stoically at the pegasus, -then you would learn a lesson.- However, her words went in one sky-blue ear and out the other.
-Why should WE be punished?!- she snapped at the shadow, -That monster is the one that's evil, not us! That thing's hurt us and other ponies, as well as Princess Luna! So why should WE get the blame for what it's done?!-
-And what about what you six have done?- the Left growled menacingly, Rainbow flinching momentarily at the anger in it's voice, before retorting, -We've been trying to stop it from hurting others!-
-Silence!- commanded the Raven, ignoring the glare the Left sent him while directing one of his own on Rainbow Dash, -Well, it seems we need not recall the present issue for any reason. Before we begin, however,- he regarded the two at either side, -I would ask that the ponies Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy be spared, for harbouring no ill will towards the creature.-
-I request that Rarity be added to that list, for having not taken any action against it,- interjected the Right, eyes flicking to the mentioned pony as she breathed silent relief.
-And I vouch Applejack, provided she take no further action whether physical or verbal,- stated the Left.
-Are we agreed?- a silent confirmation passed between the three, -Then those whom we have named shall suffer no sentencing from us, though they will continue to bear the pain they have wrought upon themselves. Two bursts of white light suddenly surrounded Twilight and Rainbow, bringing them to the front of the group.
-As for you two, however,- Raven began, only for Rainbow to interrupt him.
-NO! No bucking way am I takin' manure for trying to protect Equestria! If the stupid Elements had worked, this wouldn't've happened!-
A rather unsettling yet dangerous silence fell around them at those... thoughts? Words? Twilight wasn't sure, broken by the Left growling, -'If the Elements had worked,' you say?- His voice grew into a roar as he spoke,
-DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW THEY WORK IN THE FIRST PLACE?!-
-We-well... no...- Rainbow admitted reluctantly after a moment, the shade's anger cowing her. The Right's eyes narrowed slightly as she continued where the Left began, -No, you don't. And we shouldn't have to tell you. But the way you do NOT use them is with thoughts of revenge and hate. The Elements are a shield, not a sword.-
'Well, if it was a sword, there wouldn't be a monster possibly attacking ponies right now, would there!- Rainbow shot back. Only to reel back in surprise as a large plume of smoke rose up and circled into a ring between the two groups, mist emanating from the edges to the centre.
"STOP!"
The scream of a filly echoed throughout the room, making every pony flinch while the Raven and Shade's didn't bat an eye. Within the ring of smoke, an image took shape.
The desperate cry caused a black blade to stop perfectly, a thin trickle of blood beginning to eke from the slight cut from the sword being pressed against Shining's skull, said Unicorn being held by his throat by the now-clothed creature. Celestia moved forward, even as the creature turned his head slowly to regard the speaker darkly.
"Please... just, stop," Sweetie Belle sobbed as she stood on shaky legs, collapsing onto her flank once he faced her, tears streaming down her face.
The group began yelling at the picture, urging Sweetie to run, begging somepony to do something or hurling abuse at the creature. In the commotion, they nearly missed her next words;
"Y-you hu-hurt all the Ch-Changelings, y-you to-took my si-sister awa-away... Ha-haven't you h-hurt enough p-ponies?" she questioned through her tears to a seemingly emotionless creature.
=================================
"Ha-haven't you h-hurt enough p-ponies?"
Those words kept echoing in my head, even as I stared at the little white pony I'd saved. Turning my head, I looked at the blood-stained ground behind me, corpses and disembodied limbs strewn everywhere. Looking back to remind her that I'd saved her, I looked into her eyes.
And saw.
I saw a creature with a strange mask of a skull, holding up a struggling, injured, defenceless Unicorn, with a blade poised to kill him. Behind me, I saw not the results of a fight, however unfair, but the scene of a mass murder. What I saw, was the Monster that these ponies claimed I was.
I opened my hand and let the Unicorn drop to the ground, my blade pulling away and lowering until it rested by my side as I backed away a few feet, allowing his comrades to levitate him to safety.
'Can I really think of myself as anything but a monster, now?'
=================================
-S-Sweetie Belle,- Rarity whispered, aghast at the thought of her little sister putting herself in danger. All Twilight could think of, was every time that they'd encountered the creature. As she did so, more smoke-and-mist circles rose in front of her, showing all the details. Reviewing each of them, she looked at the still sobbing forms of her mentor and the little filly.
Taking a deep breath, she spoke, -If I take full responsibility, will you let Rainbow Dash go?- Her question caused her friends to gasp and begin asking her what she was doing, but her focus was on the Raven as he spoke.
-Explain as to why we should do as you ask of us?-
Another deep, shuddering breath preceded Twilight's speech.
-Because I was the first to come into contact with the creature, despite how scared I was of it. When it saved us from the Ursa Major, I didn't even think of considering thanking it. I was just so much more scared of what it could do.
-When I found it in the forest with Princess Luna, I didn't try and prevent anything. I could have stopped them from fighting, or I could have ended it early. When it helped us out of the Forest, how did I repay it?
-I helped to subdue it and imprison it, without thinking of what I'd said to it in the Everfree. I told it I wouldn't hurt it, and what do I do? I betray the trust it had in me. If I had simply let it walk away, nopony would be hurt now.
-And now...- her voice began shaking as tears slowly began dripping from her eyes, -Now, I tried to seal it away because I was so afraid of it. Even though I knew it had done some really bad things, like killing that Ursa, hurting the Princess and... and everything...-
She looked up at the impassive judges in front of her, dimly aware of the others viewing each occasion with the creature and of Rainbow Dash looking at her in angry confusion.
-What has it done that we ponies, who are taught to embrace peace, love and tolerance, didn't force it to do? That I didn't force it to do?-
She let her head fall as she struggled to stop sniffling and hiccuping. And so she missed the unseen triumphant smirk on the Raven.
-Granted.-
=================================
Celestia could do little but try and comfort the little fillies, two others having appeared shortly after the creature dropped Shining, as best she could, paying little mind to the ponies now slowly revealing themselves now that the Changeling invasion had suddenly stopped. Nearby, Cadance held and cried with a grieving Shining Armour.
Luna simply stared hollowly out at the mourning ponies, as each newcomer learned what had occurred. In a town such as Ponyville, everypony knew each other to an extent that tears were shed for the lost. And she allowed the guilt and sorrow to fester, as she knew it was all her fault. Her gaze flicked to the mostly ignored creature, who simply stood apathetically at the entrance of the street that held the massacre of the invasion.
A sudden, blinding burst of rainbow drew everyponies attention from the loss of six mares, dying down to reveal the floating figure of Rarity. Four more bursts followed, one after another, allowing Applejack, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie and finally Rainbow Dash to be seen hovering above the ground, a soft light emanating from them.
As the onlookers watched with awe and hope, the light faded to allow them to fall limply to the ground.
"R-Rarity?" sniffled Sweetie Belle, slowly making her way to her sister and, reaching her, gently nudging her side with a tear-matted hoof, "Rarity... p-please b-be okay..." All around her, ponies were gathering around the Elements of Harmony, all praying that they were alright.
"S-Sweetie Belle," the white Unicorn murmured, her eye slitting open enough to see, "Thank goodness... you're... alright." Any more was unnecessary as the white filly flung her hooves around her sister and cried.
Celestia ignored the tears that ran down her face as each of the Elements of Harmony was greeted by those that cared for them, thankful to whatever gods that existed that they were all-
Celestia took a sharp intake at the missing sight of her student. She began to panic slightly, looking all around in the hope that she had just missed her. Yet, among the various colours of her subjects, she couldn't spot that familiar lavender.
A final flash of rainbow light lit up behind her, causing her to whip around to almost collapse at the sight of her student laying on the ground, curled up with her back to everypony.
She ignored decorum as she raced over to check on Twilight. Upon reaching her, shock overrode everything that she felt.
For Twilight's head bore three black lines, white markings within seeming to form runes, that converged on the base of her horn and spiralled up to completely wrap the pinnacle.
I have a feeling twilight was stripped of her magic from negligence and knowing rainbows because of her accusatory nature and arrogance was stripped of wings.
Are it could just be the elements and twilight's magic
... Wow, I would honestly like anyone who can think of a faster revival of a dead character to tell me about it. Heck, even Yusuke from Yu Yu Hakusho had to go through a quest before he got to live again. Is this going to happen with the girls every time they die I wonder.
Well, at least you didn't give them chains of fate or something from Bleach. I'm pretty sure it is safe to say that different worlds have different rules and stuff for their afterlives.
I really really hope RD keeps her mouth shut in this next chapter, I can only take so much arrogance and stupidity, after all. I can't believe she attacked the cloaked figure for basically telling them to hurry up and follow him. Who does that?
The Raven part sucked. Idea is good, but it has noting to do with anything.
Hmmmm, interesting turne of events, My guess is that she will not be able to use magic?
3884436 Yeah, that would be my lazy writing being fully shown, right there. Well, here's hoping next chapter is better...
3884443 Eh, you'll see later down the track... unless I lose interest and stop writing. *shrugs*
3884455 I got to agree with you there. I mean, Magic is her special talent, her favorite pastime, her destiny. It is to her as flying is to Rainbow Dash. What better way to punish her, but to prevent her from ever using it again.
Although it does raise some interesting questions. For instance, if they take away her magic, will that also take away her position as the Bearer of the Element of Magic? I mean, in other AU fics the bearer doesn't actually have to be a unicorn or an alicorn, but will that apply here? And if Rainbow had been punished, would they have insured that she never got to fly again?
I really enjoyed the chapter. Can't wait to see what happens next.
Nice chapter!
Question: Will you use 'Daring Don't' in this story? It will be awesome!
And... why are they given their lives back at all? What have they done to deserve a resurrection? "No ill will" sounds nice, but it doesn't take away one iota from their actions. No additional punishment is one thing, but they specifically were told they would continue to bear the consequences of their own actions. One of those was getting vaporized by a well-deserved Cero, but that doesn't count... why? What I see is yet more Karma Houdini nonsense, in the face of as close to literal karma as you can get no less!
There's plenty of monsters here. You're not one of them. Who cares what these hypocrites think.
On another, note, what happened to the Elements themselves? Please don't tell me they get to retain their positions as Bearers after so grossly abusing them. I assume the necklaces got blown up as well, will they reform once new (hopefully more worthy) Bearers are found?
hallow like twilight? magic is suppressed till she earn the right to use it again? I think icigo is going to disappear on them for a while and force twilight on a journey to just say sorry.
3884748 We~ll... I DID say "not quite" dead.
3885496
So? The pertinent point is that they once again got away scot free, including Rainbow Dumbass. Even Twilight got off easy - she's alive, after all. Whether it's technically resurrection or being pulled out of there before the blast hit makes zero difference.
And that "I'm a monster" crap makes me want to puke. It's bad enough that the sanctimonious bastards persist in pretending like they did nothing wrong, but having him buy into it too? Ask the ungrateful bitch why her kind keep trying to murder him, and why he should keep sparing their lives if this is how they're going to repay his mercy.
another great chapter. Dude, your getting better and better
This was all well and good but while I'm neutral on the others gettin off rainbow should have gotten a punishment but that's just me.
I'm getting mixed feelings from this as well. While actually killing off the main characters is something that shouldn't be taken lightly, I do agree that they seem to be getting off relatively easy. Not to mention Ichigo's little epiphany there at the end, yeah he's supposed to be more of a shield than a sword but that doesn't change what they did to him. I can see him feeling regret that things spiraled out of control, but not for the act of defending himself.
It's your fic so you have creative licence to do what you want, so this is mostly just the rest of us scratching our heads in confusion as to what you're planning. I'm just hoping that the ponies finally own up to what they did, and that Ichigo doesn't beat himself up over what happened too much.
Oh, and the writing itself is still epic. Can't wait till the next chapter to see how things will go.
3884467
You shouldn't say things like that. I don't think anyone else would be willing to adopt this story if you drop it as well, and that would be a darn shame.
As for the ponies dying and coming back to life, it wasn't horrible, but it did kind of take away from what I really liked about this story. It was nice to see the Mane 6 begin to learn the lesson that there are consequences to their actions.
When you think about it, that's pretty much how the show does things; the ponies keep doing stupid things by not thinking things through, which leads to problems that they have to fix and learn a "lesson" from, all the while never learning the real lesson right in front of them. Heck, RD's actions in this chapter are a great example. She attacks one pony and yells at higher beings, not because she is brave, but because she thinks their going to conform to her perceived status quo and just give in or not retaliate.
What did this chapter show the girls? That they can make horrible mistakes, and that things will still work in their favor. Unless Twilight's punishment is really horrible, this chapter destroys anything they could have potentially learned from chapter one, and lets face it, the ponies will probably just end up blaming Twilight's condition on Ichigo anyway.
Loss of magic, possibly her element?
3886894
Her punishment better be severe. she'll blame herself of course but no one else will, thy WILL blame Ichigo though, and there will be much pain on their part for it, maybe not Luna though as she may blame herself as well.
Yeah. I wonder the same thing. What WAS the punishment? Please please please GET A NEW CHAPTER UP!!!!
3898510 probably unable to use magic or something
maybe she gets some kind of hollowing ability similar to ichigos and loses control of her self in the presence of powerful beings who possess powerful magic, so she would lash out at the princesses only to be restrained by ichigo who would calmly explain what is wrong... dude I want to read the next chapter! like right now
4121276 Well, there's heavy violence (and some blood) but not necessarily gore... yet, anyway.
Gore, I think, is when the author describes in full detail - sorta like the difference between Bleach and Elfen Lied. In Bleach, there'll be severed limbs, a few gallons of blood, etc, but it's generalised to that.
In Elfen Lied, one woman exploded with ribs, spine, intestines, liver, heart, lungs, along with every other internal organ in the human body, along with a fountain of blood.
However, what do the rest of the readers think?
4121291
So (because I reeeaally want to know) when do you think the next chapter will drop?
P.S. sorry to bug you, but the suspense is killing me
This fic is perfect!
4121378 Still be a while yet, I'm still getting set into my new job.
The Punishment? Eternal servitude to the one she wronged.
3884443 Well it does tie in, because if he did not exist in this story, it would have taken a massive turn backwords to try and fix that problem already.
Loss of magic, Soulification perhaps? Who knows but the authur?
C'mon hollowication!
4380876 that would be awesome and ironic
Please tell me this isn't going where I think it is.
The completely OOC RD is making me think it is going exactly where I think it is.
*Sigh*
Well, since this did in fact go exactly as I thought it would, I guess I just have to ask. Do you know what a straw man argument is? It's misrepresenting something to a massively unrealistic degree to make it easier to attack. The reason I asked if you know about it is because this entire story seems to be nothing more than a long straw man argument. The characterization of practically everyone in this story is misrepresented (and, going by some of the authors notes and comments, this is actually intentional) so that the story can attack them for what they do.
Even though the only reason any of them are doing any of these things is because the plot is forcing them to.
This has been a major problem with this story, and it has made it entirely hard and painful to read despite the writing quality. Every conflict in this story is massively forced and nonsensical, and this constant need the story has to put down the Mane 6 for some delusional problem the story has with them is just hilariously ridiculous considering all the problems are made up.
What's worse is that the story just contradicts itself all the time. Like above, Twilight did try to stop Luna, and instead of working as it should (if the characters weren't completely OOC), Luna is given an idiot/conflict ball and attacks anyway. Not only that, but Twilight is completely wrong about forcing him to defend himself. He is massively OP compared to them, and everything he has done in retaliation is nothing short of overkill. Not only that, but I find it almost funny (if it wasn't so sad) that they're getting blamed for using the EoH against a creature that has done more horrible things than every other MLP villain combined. Why didn't the EoH have a fit then? Oh, because it should have worked here. The only reason it didn't is, once more, due to author-fiat.
I'm honestly sad. This story has so much potential, and the author is clearly a skilled writer, but the characterization and message used in the story are both absolutely terrible in so many different ways that it basically cancels out any benefit provided by the great writing in other places.
I'm going to finish reading this (I got this far, after all), so I can at least say I didn't just criticize it unfairly. Honestly I think the only thing I can say at this point is that I hope you have great luck with the rest of this story, and any future stories. Like I said, if you could get better with characterization, then you could have some mind blowing stories!