• Member Since 3rd Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen Aug 23rd, 2015

Phoenix Archangel


No longer available, please ignore if online... unless I start being a troll, wanker, or an asshole in any way. Then ban my ass if you need to.

T
Source

In unknown circumstances, Ichigo's inner Hollow (in its Vasto Lorde form) has found it's way to Equestria (thankfully, with sentience). Couple this with the fact he's got some memory loss, and Equestria could be in some serious strife. As if he wasn't dangerous enough...

*I've taken this story up at the permission of Bradledew Ender, so I'm thanking him for giving me something of a plot to work with.

*Thanks, and all credit, to the unknown person for making this picture, even if they don't know about it.

Also, tags will be added as the story goes. Or removed, whichever happens.

Chapters (17)
Comments ( 367 )

Finally someone picks this back up! Thank you I liked this story.

3082408 No problem, I did as well hence why I picked it up.

you've done a pretty good job there... except for pacing.everything else is fine, just work on the speed.

Just read/skimmed the current chapter and it looks good so far.

Looks good to me, kinda like the idea of watchin a hollowfied Ichigo. :pinkiecrazy: Thanks for the entertainment! :pinkiehappy:

hey have you even read a hallow in equastria? it a very good read!
here a link~ http://www.fimfiction.net/story/102415/hie-a-hollow-in-equestria
not surprise rainbow dodo there got hit like that for her reckless assault she act before she think's and she lucky are hollow friend only smack her and twilight what were thinking!? rushing to study random thing that so irresponsible! the forest is dangerous at night remember stupid reckless twilight rainbow dash :rainbowwild: rubbing off on you to much.... :facehoof:
well i know it gonna be a hard time for are hollow here uhh element of harmony and question that annoy his unlife like never before princesses and guards study in the future if caught no not if when caught he surrenders i bet ponies want monster contain princess want him to take friendship lessons ponies and there friendship main six. o bet the princess try to either seal him in stone like discord or try to contain his powers first hope that they fail. his powers are cool and a part of him.

3083642 Yeah, that's one of my favourites too.

3082711 Thanks, I'll try and keep it that way!

3082632 Thank you for pointing that out for me, I promise that I'll do what I can to slow it down a bit.

Jeez, guy falls asleep and THIS happens xD Next chapter'll be up in 2 days, people.

3083642
If the Hollow form were to be incased in stone I believe he could break out quite easily seeing as he literally curb-stomped Hell and all, speaking of that there should be a chapter where he gets sent to Tartarus that would be fun for later on in the story.

I don't know about you guys but if I saw a hollow i would respond with:
*Stare*"LOL NOPE"*Run away*

woot someone have pick up this story! i added it to the bleach group

Interesting. So, is this Ichigo in his Vasto Lorde Hollow form with amnesia, or did Shiro Ichigo somehow get separated from him?

Would he really need a Cero to deal with an Ursa Major? Those things are about the size of a Gillian-type Menos Grande, and he beat one of those up before he even had Zangetsu.

3087371 For the first? Read and find out, hehe...

And yeah, Cero's probably the overpowered way to deal with it. But eh, it's a good showcase, ya know?

3087376
Cero. For all your pony-traumatizing and scaring-shitless needs. Accept no substitutes. :pinkiehappy:

interesting so far, lets see where it goes from here

I do wonder how powerful you will make his cero oscuras. Or even a gran rey cero.
Because both of them severely outclass the standard cero you made him use versus the bear.

When you remade the first chapter I thought it was good yet not completely interesting second chapter has interested me.

princess luna dun dun dun moment? naa... by the way how can the main six ponies see the dead spirit hallow in the first place!? is it because there the bearer of harmony does that have anything to do with it? is it just like with normal living humans that can't see the dead? so does it apply to other ponies as well? no yes maby?

3088522 I think it's the magic in the ponies which enables them to see hollows

THIS SHIT IS SO F**** AWESOME THAT YOU HAVE TO CONTINUE

How come in most places it's just 'he looked to the left and there was a wolf'? Shouldn't there be some kind of transition?

The creature just released so much energy, its attack could probably match an S-class offensive spell

if a cero (i assume it was) is a s class i wonder what a granray cero would be.....or something like ulquiora's special:pinkiecrazy:

Twilight broke her pinkie promise :pinkiegasp:

I'd just like to say, writing Pinkie's line is a pain in the arse cos I keep tappin' the Space bar.

Pinkie's casual fourth wall breaking interfering with the flow of the narrative and immersion is also a pain in the arse, so can you please keep that to a bare minimum?
———Please?

3088085
I'm not sure he knows how to use Gran Rey Cero or Cero Obscuras. He never used them, so we can't assume he can use them.
———And he doesn't really need to know them anyways. I mean, honestly, what is there in Equestria—besides Discord (Discord doesn't count, he doesn't even fight)—that could stand up to the might of Hollowified Ichigo and even hope to survive?

"Vasto Lorde" Hollow Ichigo is an entity that can move at hypersonic speeds up to the double-digits (easily Mach 10+), strike with blows capable of pulverizing skyscraper-sized buildings that create destructive shockwaves from the sheer force of swinging his sword, and repeatedly fired off ("Crimson" Cero and enhanced Getsuga Tenshou) and successfully withstood (Cero Oscuras and Lanza del Relámpago) attacks that are capable of large town-level destruction—equivalent to several dozens of kilotons up to a couple megatons of TNT—comparable to lower-yield nuclear weapons.

Unless one were to upgrade the speed, strength, durability, and destructive power of the Princesses—to an significant degree, given the fact that "Mighty Celestia" was one-hit KOed by the supposedly underdog Queen Chrysalis in a most decidedly unimpressive manner—nothing in Equestria should compare to him.

...Additionally, he's not really even "evil" at the moment, so something like the Elements of Harmony isn't necessarily going to work on him either. Besides, he's more than fast enough to simply dodge or stop them from using it, anyways.

Discord should have been able to dodge it too, but he's a childish moron, so whatever.

The Ursa didn't even call for a Cero. Merely punching it with one fist would have been enough to kill it.

3090854 I do promise to keeping the fourth-wall breaking to the absolute minimum. I was talking about her godamn speed-chatting. Seriously, I don't know how the hell her VA manages that...

I have decided, for the sake of not making Ichigo's Hollow (Let's face it - people thought that the moment they saw the pic) over-effing-powered, to scale him down a bit. Just a bit, though. For reference, think of the Princesses along the lines of the Captains, and the Hollow is almost-Kenpachi.

Also, this is Hollow Ichigo with amnesia - He's still working out his abilities. Quick spoiler, don't wanna know, don't read. For starters, 'Instinct is behind his first use of Cero. .

3092492
Meh. It's probably for the best. The Princesses don't even have combat feats (we're not counting Celestia vs Chrysalis, because that was just pathetic), much less ones comparable to Hollow Ichigo.

As for the reference bit... bleh, "almost-Kenpachi" is a massive, massive downgrade—namely because Hollow Ichigo's feats pretty much blow all of the Captains' away in comparison. Seriously, even Kenpachi is creamed without much contest. I think it would be more appropriate if it took both Princesses working together overtime just to keep him busy—they're just barely able to keep him from pushing them back, and aren't able to push him back themselves.

Also, this is Hollow Ichigo with amnesia - He's still working out his abilities.

Ultimately, if this Ichigo is in character (even with the amnesia) that doesn't really matter; while in a "Hollow" state (with the mask on) his fighting style is noted to be distinctively more "Hollow-like" anyways—based on instinct—so he doesn't necessarily even need to consciously know how to use his innate skills and abilities to use them, since they're instinctive. Plus, Zangetsu ("Instinct") would take over whenever his life is in danger, just as he has ever other time—that's canon (even stated directly in the source) so you'd have to completely ignore that to get around it. Basically, if they push him too far, "Instinct" comes out to play—and from that point on, the situation takes a hard 180, forces them to bend over, and doesn't use lube. In summary, they'd be screwed hard in short order if it ever got to that point.

My point is—Hollow Ichigo is supposed to be a terrifyingly overwhelming force, even to really powerful characters like Ulquiorra. Making him not overwhelming is... well, outright wrong.

3092533 Now, did I say at any point that he wouldn't be an overwhelming force? ;)

3092603
This:

Just a bit, though. For reference, think of the Princesses along the lines of the Captains, and the Hollow is almost-Kenpachi.

As strong as Kenpachi is, the Captains should be able to reliably handle him without too much difficulty. He's kind of over-hyped for how little he's actually done.

Then again, it's Kubo... fucking god-awful troll writing.

And Hollow Ichigo, even without active knowledge of his own abilities like the one in your story, should be able to handle Kenpachi without much difficulty.

Hang on a sec, one moment she's alone and the next Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy appear at the same time? You're moving too fast, the story can't keep up with the pace you're setting and it's being dragged through the dirt with the chain you tied around its neck. Also, the most logical thing isn't 'scream at the top of your lungs and attract the monster', it's 'run away as fast as you can and pray that it's not interested in you'. Otherwise not too bad of a story, though you may want to be careful with first person usage, you may just make Hollow Ichigo sound like an OC.

Alrighty, I'm currently going through some rewrites of Chapter 1 to smooth it out a bit. Hopefully that'll help with pacing, but I have no idea.

Now, this (and the next post of mine) are polls;

Thumbs up, if you'd like me to lengthen the Ursa Major fight a bit. (And by that, I mean no Cero one-shot.)
Thumbs down, leave as is.

And this poll;

Thumbs up, I change from Hollow POV to just second person view instead of changing back and forth.
Again, thumbs down, I leave as is.

In two days time (so 5:40 Monday for me) I'll be looking at the votes. Two days should be enough time.

Results are done, check my latest comment.

First comment yes! Anyways good job and keep up the good work.

God, Luna is being such a bitch in this fic. Isn't that Celestia's job?

3098382 Kinda, they kinda take turns......

Please don't let him be taken in by those ponies you can't knock a hollow out or put magic draining cuffs on them and hope it works they use spiritual pressure not magic and I doubt even the princess can take him on with his power.

Welp, she's fucked.

If instinct takes over Luna will get owned.
I'm looking forward to that.

3097379

I change from Hollow POV to just second person view instead of changing back and forth.

...No please, there are enough pointlessly second-person view stories on this site; this story doesn't need to be added to them. Just... do everyone a favor and abolish this idea from your mind altogether. Don't misunderstand—it's not that I hate second person view, although I'm not a fan of it—rather, I question the logic of asking whether or not this story should be in "second person view" if none of the readers are anything like the main character in the first place. This isn't a story about some ambiguously faceless placeholder named "Anonymous" who lacks a unique defined background as a character—it's a story about Kurosaki Ichigo. That character isn't a placeholder for the reader's self-insert in this story—so why would you think to use second person view?

More. Now.
It must be done.

Right - Chapter One, Rough Landings and Rougher Meetings, has been rewritten. Hopefully that'll solve some of the pacing and placement problems.

Also, the polls are done. There will be no view-changing, and the fight's been added.

Enjoy!

3105570 Oi oi oi... And this goes to all similar comments.

They are done when they are done. Work and hobbies get in the way, y'know.

All I can promise is new chapters ASAP.

Thank you for taking this story and writing it all over again. The first story of this was good but was still left hanging till you came along and wrote it. So in short congrats.

3113330 .... Yeeeaaaaah, no I don't. I can't read emoticons, it comes from too many years reading proper words and sentences -.-.

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