"Come on Big Brother! Put it in!" Applejack said, leaning over a corked barrel
"I'm Trying! Its just too tight!" Big Mac replied.
"You've fit it in much smaller things before, don't even get me started!"
"Pfft. Let's not make this harder than it already is."
"You know I like it hard."
"And rough."
"The rougher the better." Applejack smirked, twisting to the side to make it easier for Big Mac. "Now hurry up and get it in there! We don't have much time!"
"Maybe if we lube it up?"
"With what? What could we possibly use to get it wetter than it already is?"
"We got some motor oil."
"...That might just be crazy enough to work. Go ahead." Aj said. Big Mac fetched a can of motor oil from a shelf. "Let me take that." Aj said, grabbing the can. She squirted some oil onto her hooves. "Let me rub it down, get it nice and slippery."
"There we go." Mac said. "Let's try this."
Big Mac positioned himself and gave a big push. He grunted. Aj gasped as she felt it move into place.
THUNK
The barrel of cider slid neatly into place on the already overstuffed wagon. Big Mac wiped his brow. Applejack breathed a sigh of relief. "Well I'm glad that's over." She said. "Alright, lets get this cart delivered."
Applebloom stood around the corner of the barn, back pressed against it. Her eye was visibly twitching as she tried to erase from her mind what she thought she had heard.
Much lulz.
I saw the word "barrel" and I was like "Ooh, I know what's coming." Then I grimaced at the unintended sexual joke.
Also, I'm pretty sure you shattered the fourth wall when AJ makes a sexual joke about this scene. Good job.
Oh, one sec.
Picks up translucent shard of fourth wall with which to stab an ancient deity
Anyway, nicely done.
Hilarious
4318359 don't know much about scott pilgrim, but I'll see what I can do. I assume it'll be Scoots fighting for rainbow's attention, correct?
4324536 what do you mean unintended? I wrote all of these jokes specifically for this story! HOW DARE YOU NOT UNDERSTAND MY WRITINGS! YOU ARE BANISHED TO THE FARAWAY LAND OF TOLEDO!
Oh wait, Toledo's only about 2 hours from where I live. Not that far I guess.
4324633 No, I meant the unintended sex joke I'd made. About "coming".
As in "ejaculating".
Also, I'd not mind being banished to Toledo, it seems like a nic-- Secret agent whisper's in his ear Ooh, TORONTO is the one with the crack-smoking mayor. Whoops!
Still, Toledo seems nice, from this drone's point of view. You said you live two hours in which direction?
4317924 I'll proofread the remaining ones for you!
And any other stories you write/have written!
4324671 South. And apparently Toledo is the human trafficking capital of the United states. I had family that used to live there.
4324695 Wait, what? The Wikipedia article said nothing about the human trafficking! At least not in the first paragraph.
4324705 The traffickers probably changed the article to conceal themselves...
4324712 Paranoia! Yay!
4324719 Hey, its not paranoia if you're right about it! At least that's what the voices in my head tell me.
Sounds like the time I found my brother and cousin together in our shed.
4324740 Do i want to know? No I dont... wait, no... Alright I kinda want to know. Yes. I think.
4324725 Ooh, voices in your head! Mine all sound like Morgan Freeman.
4324753
4324766 Wow. That... That was...
4324752
They were stacking wood.
4324822 Well that wasn't so bad
4324918
Seems different when said people are obscured by a wood stack, and you can only hear grunting. Even more fucked up when said cousin was around 9-10 years old at the time.
4325028 cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/250x250/49040878.jpg
4325079 Glad you like it!
4325185
Hold on. I was gonna make a joke about how my dad was there, but my mind went deep into the abyss that is my imagination. Guh, I hate incest and inbreeding. Where's my brain bleach?
4325266 Probably in Toledo with NewKidOnTheBlock, that's my guess at least.
4325333
Found it!
*pulls out 8 gauge elephant gun*
Lets see if it still works.
*fires into air randomly*
*meanwhile, NewKidOnTheBlock is randomly killed by a falling shotgun slug*
Time to use it.
*puts to head and pulls trigger*
*Nope.AVI*
Nooooooo...!
Ironically enough, this is exactly how I wrote it...
I just never posted it.
The ending was a nice touch
4324766
Morgan Freeman is magic.
Now we need a fic where he narrates a day in the life of one of the mane six.
--Sollace
4331518 I might just do that now. Yes, it will be beautiful.
How about... Luna being a bat?
EPIC! XDD