Adding a tragedy tag to this, for fairly obvious reasons.

And we're back to square one. I probably said this before but I really feel sorry for this Twilight. I'm actually surprised that she didn't just end up in a catatonic state.

Good story, would read again and again and again

And here, I think, we see just why the Elements didn't work for this Twilight. On a deep, deep level, she thinks she deserves this. She did from before she started the loop. And because of that, she can't MacGuffin her way out of it.

The tragedy tag is certainly deserved. This didn't go well for anypony. Thank you for the story, but please, write something happier soon. I think you need it.

Twilight surely deserved every possible pain for what she had done, to spike, to her friends, to Luna. She deserved to burn in the depths of tartarus for an eternity.

But that...

I'm kinda sorry for thinking that she deserved every punishment there might exist, after all, she just wanted one little thing.

To die.

Eakin, I can't say how much I love this story and of course the trilogy.

Please keep up this amazing work.

Huh I though Chrysalis will play bigger role. Still good dark and twisted fic.

Well, we knew that Twilight's attempt at suicide was Doomed by Canon, but it's something to see. And now the story is at an end. A few bits of this chapter got too Abrahamic for my tastes, but on the whole I liked it.

I feel sorry for her now. It is not her fault she is insane, it is the loops fault. But when Twilight and Star Swirl lied to her like that, even in the original story, I can't help but be angry at them.

Even complete monsters have their standards, apparently. I thought for a moment there that Twilight was lying to Rarity when she said that breaking the Element of Generosity was going to end the spell that animated Zombie Spike... and she'd leave the two of them alone.

Placing trust in a god that she slaughtered, trapped in a world that had driven her insane, pursuing a quest that would destroy everything in which she had once believed in, she ended as she began: there, in the Twilight Zone.

poor Twilight. she knew it was all fake and yet the pain is all too real. she didn't ask for much, just to not have to worry anymore, to not have to hear those four words. the only thing she wanted, was for it to all stop. and now she will probably repeat three words for the interval of time between now, and whatever point she stopped being insane "But... she... promised..."
so sorry that it failed Twilight. Sorry it failed.

the only fic where i cried because the character didn't die...

3975896
I actually find that writing really dark and tragic stuff makes me feel better. A cathartic bloodletting, if you will, to balance the humors. But then screaming into a word processor has always been how I deal with my issues (which pale before Twilight's, luckily).

3975899
Two things I think you'll feel better if you compare:
From here:

...and I want the last thing I feel to be realizing that you love me just as much as I love you. To believe that somehow there's still something inside me worth loving.” I look up at the ceiling, plaintively. “Could I just have that for a few seconds? Please?”

and from the end of Fate:

Just when I’m about to give up hope of finding her, of ever getting the closure I want, something unexpected happens. Two tiny lips press down on the tip of my muzzle. With just seconds left I hear Twilight speak to me for the last time.

“I love you too.”

I’ve done a lot of bad things, some of them unforgivably terrible. But if the last two sensations I’ll ever feel are surprise and that I’m loved, I must have done a whole lot more right.

3975979
Yeah, when I started this I expected there to be more Chrysalis and more graphic porn. Ended up moving away from both. Honestly, writing out rape scene after rape scene would have gotten disturbing fast, and I mean on an out-of-story level

3976014
A fair point re: religion. I did have a couple hesitations about bringing the concept of Hell into the story, but Tartarus wasn't really cutting it in terms of the level of suffering I wanted to convey.

Well fuck me. That was an incredible way to end this story. When I asked you what this story was going to be about, especially about whether or not it would be after the pertinent scene in A Stitch in Time, this was the kind of scene I was hoping you would make. I guess I've just got to be more patient. As far as negatives go, I would have liked to see more of a descent in Twilight's plunge into madness and tyranny -- a slope rather than a cliff, which is how it felt in the shift between the initial few chapters.

3976962

The thing is, by the time she Changelingizes herself, she's already insane. This story is where the cracked dam bursts entirely.

You are a heartless bastard and it's brilliant.

3977003

I know that, I think I mentioned it in my initial comment however many chapters ago. Twilight acts relatively reasonable in the first chapter, and she doesn't quite "snap" until late into the second chapter. I would have liked to see "reasonable sane" Twilight try to achieve her utopia for a little while longer. It's not a big deal though, in the end.

thats cruel to know that after all those countless loops and what happened in the crossover, the loop STILL continues without end

also that part with the surgery...ugh do i even want to know what that...thing was?

3977179

It ends, in a way, eventually.

Twilight does have to experience a subjective absurdly incredible length of time though, something on the order of what, quadrillions or quintillions of years? More than every person who has ever lived, combined, times a million. Basically.

3976681 you can get to see this twilight again in this story You Can Fight Fate

Is it bad that I fapped to the surgery?

Absolutely fantastic story, it actually gave me the chills.

3977179
I left it as vague as possible. Because your imagination can probably whip up something way more bucked up than I ever could.

3977337
Wha... but... that was only like two paragraphs, and.. bwuzuh?

3977405
it's more the concept and buildup, like the thing has tenicles and shit and Luna just starts hyperventilating because a batshit crazy twilight is going to put this horrific abomination inside her in the name of love.

I don't know why, but it seems oddly appropriate.

I... have mixed feelings about this. I've only read Hard Reset, and while I deduced who the two were, didn't Twilight confirm that the loop was closed? Why did it restart? Or is it just her own personal hell she's experiencing now? I suppose it leaves it a little open to personal bias and thoughts, but something feels... missing.

I once read a comic that featured the devil as a side character. He once stated the worst hell could due to a person was to take everything they know and turn it into a lie. However, that's not how hell operates. Hell is supposed to keep you there, and so sins are not punished to their full extent. You'd seek redemption due to fear of punishment and pain. Unrelenting torment suits one such as Twilight due to her methodical mind. She'd admit she is wrong as the very last thing she would do. It's part of her scholarly mind.

I figure she'd release the Bearers and the book and send them to the Crystal Empire with a plea to end her miserable existence. I'm still not sure how I feel about this ending. Maybe I just need some time to mull it over.

As for the insanity, you got it spot on. Those who are insane don't tend to know they are crazy, especially one who has gone through as much psychological trauma as Twilight. I like what you did with the later chapters. The false rebellion, Luna's reactions and her attempt to knock over the glass jar, all of that.

However, the insanity seemed to spring up out of the blue in one chapter. Insane people don't think they are insane. Evil people don't think they are evil, unless they are insane. Twilight's actions felt like she'd become lawful evil as a result of her experiences. You can argue that the Emperor from Star Wars was Lawful Evil. He wanted oppression, he wanted rules, and most of all, he wanted a universe that was governed by order. Evil, yes, but order nevertheless. Killing innocents doesn't serve him. The same seems to apply to Twilight. She tried so hard to be good, she circled around the alignment grid and became evil as a result. Evil people, however, are not insane by default. Evil people are the heroes of their own story, so I was a little taken off guard when she started having these mass delusions about the streets running red with blood. That kind of delusion happens over time, and although Twilight has had plenty of time, I didn't feel her decent from evil into insanity was genuine. It felt sudden and a little abrupt.

I did like that you weren't shy about the darkness. There are three primary types of horror: Horror, Terror, and Gross-out. You did a good job of blending the first two, with a little dash of the third for flavor. Seeing Twilight do these horrible things in the name of peace and justice was fun, while not being overly off-putting. It's why Gross-out is widely considered to be the weakest form of horror, as it holds so little flavor on its own. Movies like The Thing and The Blob do it right, but I've seen loads of fanfiction that automatically assume that excessive violence makes them adult, and being adult somehow makes them engaging. The horror here isn't in what was on screen, but why it was actually occurring. It ties a little into the cognitive dissonance Lovecraft was so fond of in his works. We just cannot understand why someone could see these things as a good idea, but oh yes can I see why. That gap between the normal and Twilight's chaotic delusions was wonderful. I tell you it was the right choice to not delve into gore or rape as you originally thought. That's not to say it would automatically be bad, but what you did here and your original intentions are not the same kind of horror. It was a wise choice to pick one and only one. Horror was the correct choice. Don't go for Gross-out when you have the choice.

I hope this comment was detailed enough to express my thoughts. I haven't eaten in 24 hours, however, so my thoughts are a little muddled. Anyway, I never intended to read the two sequels, but my interest has been piqued. This has been quite the ride. It had its ups and downs, but I feel it was, overall, an enjoyable and worthwhile read.

I genuinely found this a hopeful ending...

ding* best possible ending for the path you took unlocked
well now this is a good ending
the ability to choose has been granted to her again
and theoretically she could do this again with out the evil tyrant rule
as i dont believe that the body made her go insane
so she could do everything right
save everyone she can and get he second best possible ending

The story was beautifully written. However, it disappoints me in the most fundamental level. There is no justice for Twilight, simply meaningless looping. Such a story leaves me with a sense of disappointment.

Christ. You could tell from the last tag-on chapter from Hard Reset that this Twi was clearly crazy, but this entire fic is just...

And hell, I'd hate myself so much if the last two things I did were having an epiphany after killing and raping those closest to me, and killing myself, only to find that it was all for naught.

3978303
Uh... have you read through You Can Fight Fate? Because it isn't like this is the end of this Twi's story.

3978325 Yes, I have. A billion years seems a tad unjust don't you think?

3978333
Trillions, actually. And life's not fair, but this particular Sparkle managed to find meaning in it anyway.

3978344 You would think that after a couple of million years Twilight would have found a unified theory of the universe and exploited it to un-loop herself.

3977607 not as bad as the...4? (maybe more) major trollfics of this fandom (cupcakes being 1 of them)

in particular http://www.fimfiction.net/story/7435/the-experiments-of-twilight-sparkle the ending is pure wtf? i mean it goes normally for that kind of fic then suddenly its mad scientist/world domination and some unspeakable horror/machine :/ the ending to that fic kinda ruined it for me partly.

3978086 wait, that was the end? how did i miss that?

I really didn't think I'd read another story as dark as Cupcakes, but Eakin, you have now raised the bar to an impossibly high level.

I normally stay away from grim/dark fics, as they're just not my thing. But, this is part of the Hard Reset-verse, so I simply could not pass this side-story up. What puts this over the top for me is the way that you weaved the darkness into the fiber of the story. Some parts hit you like a hammer, while the rest of the time, the dark threads are intricately woven into every word and every thought. The level of insanity and depravity that Twilight sinks too is both horrifying and utterly tragic at the same time... And it works perfectly.

In short, this story, like the rest of the Hard Reset-verse, is a literary masterstroke. Beautifully done!

Holy crap! What a roller coaster ride that was! Simply amazing.

I would say this whole fic was deliciously disturbing. Seeing someone go insane from the first person puts you in their shoes in a frightful way. You've made such a horrifying and, yet, sorrowful Twilight here. I hate her and feel sorry for her at the same time. Well done!

That was gloriously painful to read, and a magnificently satisfying introspection into Queen Twilight's mental breakdown. Even knowing how it turns out, that was the saddest thing I've read in a very long time. Thank you

Interesting that if Twilight's mind ever truly crumbles, she'd presumably be eternally stuck in endless identical loops where, from an external perspective, she simply crumples in the library one day and never wakes up, because her mind was snuffed out in an "instant" and presumably non-recoverable. Most likely Celestia would see to it that she was treated as if she was in a coma, and her body would spend the rest of its life in a hospital bed - until it died and the loop reset, only for the same events to play out again and again - forever. (Barring extrauniversal influences.)

It's true what he says, "Suffering is magic." Still, hot damn, is was really sad what happen to her. I don't blame this Twilight or the other Twilight, I blame the elements. They wanted there perfect world or some bull crap like that so they caused all of this. How depressed the discorded Twilight was when she found out that her alternate future self was not there to help her but was there to ask Discord to go with her.

All those timelines and all because of the elements and their need for Harmony or some crap. Trillions of years this Twilight will be trapped in the same loop, her revenge in the main arc was more then justified. When Twilight and Starswirl got there she was already cracked, they were just the icing on the cake that is insanity. This story was so sad I'm not even adding a pony emoticon to emphasize.

3977474

I... have mixed feelings about this. I've only read Hard Reset, and while I deduced who the two were, didn't Twilight confirm that the loop was closed? Why did it restart? Or is it just her own personal hell she's experiencing now?

This is the Twilight from the alternate ending chapter, not the one that broke the loop. The one that broke the loop (Main!Twilight) and this one (Crazy!Twilight) did the same things as seen in Hard Reset, but the Elements kill Crazy!Twilight if she tries to use them the way Main!Twilight did, so she can't escape the loop. This version of Equestria appears in A Stitch In Time, and the last chapter of this story takes place immediately after Main!Twilight and Starswirl leave.

Also, the loop was never closed, it was just separated from the universe that Main!Twilight is from. My understanding was that all of the loops eventually wear down and end, but Crazy!Twilight still going through them caused her universe to survive the split longer. Or it just took a long time for the universe ending to actually effect her, since she's frequently jumping back to a point in time when the universe wasn't yet destroyed.

3977474
Twilight lied to keep Queen Sparkle from breaking into the vault and murdering her after Star Swirl mercy-killed Luna. It's covered in chapters 5 and 6 of Stitch, which I'm not sure mesh perfectly with the end of this story as they were written a year apart, but they are meant to overlap. I'd argue that Twi's delusions started in chapter two right about when she broke Luna's wing and progressed from there, but I certainly did kick it into high gear by around chapter 5. I am happy with my decision to move from Gross-Out to a more psychological angle. Like you said I think it makes for a stronger story overall.

3979499
Well, I don't think she'd get the chance to be hospitalized since she resets to a point where changelings are attacking the city, and presumably everypony has other priorities than helping the pony who's curled into a little ball and won't start muttering something crazy about time loops.

Even though I knew this was coming from months ago, to see it here in all it's finished glory is truly rewarding. You even managed to pull out a choice twist earlier on me. Well done, Eakin.

Ah. Finally over, is it? It never ends, does it.

3975798

Wait, so you mean I wasn't supposed to be laughing all the time? Boy do I feel sheepish now.

3978442 well, now either
A the cannon ending will happen
or
B she tries again and again until everyone wins
its says compete

She got the worst punishment for her crimes... those 4 words is more of a punishment than anything in the universe and beyond could ever be.

Inb4 feeling sad for her.

3981429
This story actually gets 20% better when you add a laugh track and that awkward 'Wah-waaaaaaah' tuba sound.

3980608 think i remember that episode...ugh, adult swim sucks terribly the majority of the time only reason i even pay it any mind is the occasional half-decent/decent shows they air, definately not for the rest of the crap and the gods awful commercials (just how many druggies work there? a lot if the disturbing commercial stuff is any indication).

least they finally brought back toonami for saturdays so thats very good.

I tried to rip her mind away from her, torture and kill her, when all along she was only here to give me something I haven’t had for a very long time, and haven’t deserved for even longer: Hope. Real, genuine hope.

No. No. Please no. Please. No. No No No No NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

“Well that didn’t work.”

good job making me cry over a Complete Monster.

Also:

3975932

She WAS in Tartarus. For the crime of casting the wrong spell at the wrong time. The Loop broke her. She was powerless, she was angry. Very angry. So it makes sense that once she got Power, she would go completely fucking crazy with it right? She lashed out at every pony in sight, poured years of pent up emotion and PTSD into it. You'd have to resent every other non time looper by this point.....especially friends. Its a normal day for them, how the hell are they supposed to understand you're suddenly traumatized by a Fate Worse Than Death?

She needs to just put that loop behind her, relax, vacation for a few loops (long distance teleport to a BEACH. Nice way to spend 3 hours ), forget about the stress, and ponder what kind of research opportunities immortality can offer. Look on the bright side! Make some lemonade with those lemons!

Maybe now she'll get her ish together and start working towards that Changeling Queen perfect run I keep talking about lol. There's gotta be a way to do all this crap ethically if you have unlimited tries I swear lol. Win Luna CONSENTUALLY with that whole "Oh poor me i'm immortal" sob story! Pacify both The Swarm and The Elements! Resist the biological imperative to lay eggs in Ponies brains! Master the art of hiding your terrifying Changeling form so you don't freak ponies out! And fucking like....clone Spike or clone Spike's heart or take Spike's heart but give him an artificial jawn so that he's totally OK, or hell even convince him to consent to donating his body to science lol idk just so long as its more humane.

3985142

The schedule for the Changeling Queen run is already timed to the second, though. Finding a substitute for Spike's heart delays it, and getting to Chrysalis before she kills Celestia tightens it even further... it's just not possible. And of course, any run where she kills Spike and/or leaves Celestia to die puts her on a dark path that leads to insanity and other not-fun things. If she convinces him to volunteer (which he would, because, well, Number One Assistant - remember that he sacrificed himself in the very first run), that's arguably even worse.

I don't know, though. She might actually gain some time by following the normal run first (sending Luna to save the bearers, then incapacitating Chrysalis), which seems to delay the WHSD apocalypse indefinitely. And then, instead of using the elements, which doesn't work [ - sorry Twilight], she does the Changeling Queen thing. That could leave enough time to get a different dragon's heart (or substituting it with something else, or something), then take over the swarm that way.

Holy fuck this was dark. And awesome.
Also, tentacle baby is cute.