This story is a sequel to You Can Fight Fate
Time loops? The end of existence as we know it? Fate itself conspiring against you? Who has the energy to deal with that kind of thing?
Not Cloud Kicker, that's for sure. She's a mare who knows what she wants out of life. An easy job, a nice house, and an endless supply of potential banging partners. Then one day a simple little flower vendor moves in down the street and everything starts to change.
As a side story to the main Time Loop Trilogy, you can expect massive spoilers in the comments for both the original stories and unwritten chapters of this one.
Chapters (18)
Huzzah, it's up. I quite enjoy seeing your take on Cloud Kicker.
I predict sunshine and rainbows, all around.
There is no possible downside to falling asleep, cuddled up to a love-sucking insect. A really cute, loveable love-sucking insect. A really cute, loveable, love-sucking insect, while yourself being the motherlode of affection. A really cute, loveable, love-sucking insect from space, while yourself being a motherlode of affection.
I'm not so sure about that last addition, but it's probably true.
Oh.... yay. More insight into Ponyville's flattest, most one-note character.
Nope. No, thanks, Eakin, friend. Winingverse aggravates me to no end, and "Kicky" here is the icing on the shit cake.
And now I sit back and wait for the flood of downvotes and hate for speaking out against that character. As for why I am even posting this, I am a friend of Eakin, therefore am letting him know that I do not plan on reading this story, one friend to another. Why do it here? Because I don;t feel it warrants a PM, and yes, I do like having my voice heard. I'm a PA Broadcaster, I like to hear myself talk.
3128782
...Calling slight bullshit on that last bit. If you just wanted to let him know, and had no interest at all in provoking people, a PM would serve your interests far better.
3128782 There's no mistaking that BS for McDonald's Secret Sauce, and you know it.
You don't fool us Winningverse fans for a damn second.
3128821>>3128826
Provoke? No. Merely stating my opinion in a public manner. You are more than free to ignore me.
Also, McDonaldswut?
3128782
Well, I have a few ideas on how to give her a little more depth beyond just rampant sexcapades, but if you aren't interested you aren't interested. There'll be other stories.
3128836
Mmm... There is a very fine line between "Intentionally stating an opinion that I know others will loudly disagree with in a public manner" and "Provoking people." In fact, some might be inclined to argue that there isn't one at all.
Regardless, your opinion is your own, and you are free to have it. I just felt the need to challenge your logic there-- while it's fine by me if you want to be a troll and generally provoke people (because I can ignore you if I so choose) I do believe it's good to at least be aware that you're doing it.
3128782
CK Actually gets major character development after chapter 10 of the Life and Times of a Winning Pony. Give her a chance and you'll find a surprising amount of depth.
3128782
It must suck, living in a world that forces you to consume content about characters you don't like.
Knighty should really make a system whereby you can click on a link and read something else instead. But alas, such is the realm of a distant and enlightened future.
My heart, it breaks for what you're forced to endure.
i257.photobucket.com/albums/hh235/Valikdu/cloud_kicker_by_m99moron-d4tr7ia-1.jpg~original
So far so good. Had to lol a bit at the "Twilight would never steal her from me" line... not that Twilight actually stole her, but still...
3128782
Hmm - while life and times does go for a little while before real depth of character comes, by the current chapter Cloud is fleshed out and 3 dimensional. YMMV, and it's cool if it's not your thing, but your comment seems a bit aggressive and rude if all you wanted was to say:
"Hey man, love your work but Cloud kicker's not really my thing, catch your next story"
3128853
Hmm...
See, that's my problem with her. Full disclosure here, I only read "Study," never her other stories. The thing is every single time I see her used by some other author, at the original's permission, she is the exact same:
"Hey, wanna bang?"
"Have we banged?"
"I think we should bang."
"Why don't you just bang him/her/it?"
"I'm gonna go bang X."
Add that with the whole "Mare/mare reproduction because of the power of lurve and fuck biology because who needs males" just leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth. Now, if you say you can make her more appealing...
3128836 Kids these days...
You wrote the Time Loops trilogy, Eakin. If nothing else, that would be enough.
But you also wrote this, when you could have let it lie.
And that… is awesome too.
3128880
Wait, you're basing your whole opinion of Winningverse CK off of 'Study of a Winning Pony?' Half the point of that story is exaggerating that facet of CK's character because Twilight is an unreliable narrator.
Maybe check back in when I've got a few more chapters written. The interesting stuff should start after the Cloudy/Kicky split around the time of Hard Reset chapter 5
3128863>>3128866
Hmm, the snark is strong with you. I like...
I am not trying to drum up some shit. I actually hate getting into these kinds of comment wars. By the by, that is why this is going to be my final comment, unless Eakin himself talks. However, I, as well, am well-trained in the ways of The Snark, as is evident by my style of reviews and my blogs.
Now, you may call this being rude... which I guess could be true. I more think of it as stating my opinion in a smart alecky way. Again, you are more than free to ignore me.
3128874
Again, I am not trying to be aggressive, merely snarky. I apologize to you all if I cam across as such.
3128907
No, I also go by what I see in other's works, as I said, and word of mouth. She appears to be a boring, stereotypical character. That, plus the reasons stated, give me little incentive to read on. Add on the whole universe started with Inter-mane six shipping, which I don't like, and... yeah, not my cup of tea.
BUT! You are durn good at this, so maybe you can sway me. I shall check back in a few chapters.
3128915
In any case, I rather like Eakin's version of Cloud in this one. She's got a bit more... manipulative well-wishing about her in this iteration. Letting that part shine gives a very different feel from the ultraheavy relationship and psychological drama of Winning Pony.
But even in the primary Winning Pony canon, it's not like she's a one-trick pony.
Yes, her being promiscuous is certainly a big defining trait. Like Pinkie's defining trait is being a genki-girl party pony. Or Rarity being obsessed with high society. Or Twi loving books. And it's what fans latch on to for kicks.
But like with the Mane 6, plenty of backstory, relationships, quirks and personality traits get added to make them more than just a caricature.
So, this is basically a Time Loop Trilogy / Winningverse crossover. Written by Eakin. (Yes, Eakin, you're important enough to be italicised, you've made the big leagues!)
I may weep with happiness.
Favourited, love the first chapter, I cannot find any criticisms, everything's done so well.
This is going to be AWESOME.
3128958
As close as I'll ever get to writing such a thing. There's a few major differences from Winningverse canon like the fact that CK's mother is still alive and well, but certainly the same character. There's even a tiny little bit of Optimalverse in there (in that I recycled a minor character from ASB).
Well, so far we're seeing a few things we ought to recognize, but it's good to get the whole story from the start. Or is it?
And of course I'm waiting to see if InuHoshi will grace this with some of her work. I imagine some will almost be too adorable to stand...
Good start. I hope this turns out as good or even better then the Time loop trilogy.
3128880
Yeah, I wasn't a big fan of Study of a Winning Pony either. As pointed out, much of it was Twilight being an unreliable narrator, but the fic still just doesn't handle CK's character very well imo. The last chapter I read was the one where CK and Twilight went out as friends, and after that one I basically gave up in disgust. In fact, Eakin himself wrote the comment that caused me to decide "Fuck this story", and you can find it here. This is probably the best way to reassure you that I can find.
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/53958/12/the-study-of-a-winning-pony/the-notdate-with-a-winning-pony#comment/2855037
It seems very unlikely, given this comment, that Eakin will go in anywhere near the same direction as Study of a Winning Pony unfortunately did. He clearly knows where it went wrong and disagrees with the approach, and he's more than good enough as a writer to avoid falling into that trap accidentally. You should give it a shot :)
Well, this was unexpected. Still though, the style's pretty spot-on, and overall it's fun.
Gee, bitter about changelings much Azalea? Man, it's going to be great when Kicky shows up :D
3128983
As stated, I just might come back in a few chapters.
Sign me up! How far back does this story start anyway? It is before Twilight starts her time loop in Canterlot right?
Interesting reaction to the mention of changelings. Me thinks the lady protests to much?
3129026
This is probably a couple weeks to a month or so before the Hard Reset time loop. CK won't be in Canterlot for that particular disaster, but the consequences of what the EoH do and Ponyville's reaction will be important.
After staying up this last week reading the entire time trilogy from Twilight's POV, (Which I enjoyed.) I think I've had enough time manipulation for a while. (Never was a big fan of the time travel genre. I just hate thinking about those 'what-if' alternate timelines and paradoxes.)
Though this time it's from the angle of a mare that's cemented where she should be in the timeline. Is this one also going to have a lot of "timey-wimey" stuff, or will it give my brain a rest from it?
3129041
While Twilight's crazy time jumping will be in the background, the personal drama of Azalea, Cloudy, and Kicky will be taking central stage.
3129054
Exactly what I wanted to hear.
Suck it Skeeter!
Also, absolutely fantastic. Keep it up!
3128974
Yeah, pretty much everything related to Cloud's mom and Changelings from Winning Pony has to go just to keep this fic internally consistent with the rest of Time Loop Trilogy. After all, Eakin's take on Chrysalis and the Changelings is very different from what we've got going in the Winningverse.
3128983
One thing worth noting, Ponibius wound up making substantial revisions to those chapters because of feedback from Eakin and other readers.
oven*
Not even Cloud Kicker can handle Pinkie Pie
/
Fall asleep in cuddles. Wake up in goo.
Just another normal night in the life of the Winning Pony.
3129041
You should go play Majora's Mask.
3129270 that game is a masterpiece. I has to be my favorite Zelda game. Also he should watch "Groundhogs day".
Ah, I see Azalea has been a changeling since long before even this story began (wasn't sure when Changing Lives takes place relative to Hard Reset).
Nice touch with have her (not-so-)subtly gather intel and talk with Kicky. And her immediate reaction to the topic of changelings (the I-hate-them-they-should-burn attitude) does give one perspective of how changelings believe Equestrians view them.
I do look forward to just how your story will progress into the Hard Reset story.
Anyway... on with my usual bout of... OCD-ness.
should be hyphenated, no?
Don't think the latter phrase works... in that "taking stock" refers to what she has, not "what [she] can do with it, as the sentence says. An inventory check so to speak.
Granted, it might just be a phrase I am unfamiliar with.
hyphenate
Ah... should be "blush" shouldn't it? I mean, I guess I have heard it in spoken language, but this is narrative.
This section is a bit off, in that the first sentence is fragmented. Half an hour after both of that... what? You then ended the sentence.
What I would do is frame "together I might add" with emdashes (alt-0151) as an insert. But basically, this part should be made into a single sentence (albeit a long one).
I think it should be either a colon or a semi-colon...
comma here
hyphenate
". Thanks"
Since if we remove the narrative aspect, we get "Hiya, Cloud Kicker! Thanks for coming..."
Also, I found Azalea took Pinkie's invitation to a party a little too well in stride. Like, "where the heck did you come from?" "Here's a party invite" "Oh, ok, guess I'll be there.", y'know?
3129270
Oh yeah, fun game.
Hm... I guess it's more the thinking of the consequences of time travel and trying to figure out exactly what happened, is happening, and could happen after I'm done reading/playing/watching that drives me to dislike the genre of storytelling. When I finish a story, I sit and think about everything that just happened in detail. If it has time travel, I just want to skip the sitting because the concept of time travel cannot be comprehended, or at least by me.
The journey itself: fun. I liked reading Hard Reset quite a bit.
Here's a funny fact. Just yesterday after I finished reading the Hard Reset time trilogy, I decided to get my mind off all that timey stuff by starting up and play through Bioshock Infinite for the first time. Guess what that game's story was full of? Seems I can't escape it. Freakin' Lighthouses.
3129300
I have to agree, MM was in nearly every aspect a better game than OOT. One of my top favorite games of all time.
[/gush]
YES! YES! YES!
Awesome! I absolutly love your stories!
Keep them coming!
Oh Eakin, I think I love you. Never stop writing Time Loop Stories!
Huh. Just when you thought it was all over, Cloud Kicker decides to steal the spotlight. I thought that was Pinkie Pie's or Rarity's job? XD
3129754
Pinkie Pie may make a triumphant return to do some narration. Probably circa chapter four of Fate when Azalea and the rest of the Mane Six head to Canterlot to rendezvous with Twilight, since Cloud wasn't there for that.
3129858 Should also mention you just used probably the most accurate description of me ever conceived...to describe Cloud Kicker. I AM NOT SURE HOW TO FEEL ABOUT THAT.
3129453
Totally right on the "taking stock" side of things. It is a shortening of taking (a list of your) stock; it directly means "noting your inventory".