Pulled into a strange world where myth and legends are real. Unable to communicate to the native creatures here, or even able to move for that matter... How is a human supposed to adapt to this strange world, or even manage to keep his sanity when he is encased in stone.

Applejack had certainly dealt with her fair share of critters taking apples from the farm in her life. Unfortunately for her and the rest of Equestria, this latest apple thief encounter may just be more of a hassle than the ponies can deal with...

After Twilight discovers a dusty old book detailing trans-dimensional portals used by denizens of ancient Equestria, she learns that one of these portals is right outside Ponyville. But something went wrong with the spell. Instead of a being from a different dimension, she summoned a pegasus who seems more confused by this than her. When she tries to send him back to where he came from, she gets hauled along for the ride. Turns out the portals match their users to the universe they are entering. How will Twilight handle being human?

WARNING: EXTREME LANGUAGE AND HOMOPHOBIC/RACIST SLURS. The views expressed by my characters are not my views. If you're easily offended by a piece of comedy, don't read. If you complain about it being offensive, then you're obviously not listening to me.

We're on Chapter 1. The majority of the major characters ahve not appeared yet. If this goes against the site rules, inform me and I will edit accordingly.

R. Lee Ermey wakes with a splicing headache. Where is he? He'll soon find out.

R. Lee Ermey crashed into Ponyville.

Join Ermey and the mane 6 as they work through a series of wacky adventures comparable to absolutely horrendous movies like 'Click', 'Jack and Jill' and 'AnyAdamSandlerMovieEverMade'. A completely nonsensical, fic. Written for the pure enjoyment of those mindless sheep who watch Fox News and Family Guy. Sorry Adam Sandler, Fox News and Family Guy fans. But your sense of comedy is just as terrible as mine. So we're all together in this one.

My name is James Clark, and I am a Private Military Contractor. No, not Mercenary. Yes, there is a difference, but that's beside the point.

Ok, where was I? Ah yes, I was just entering my office in Downtown Houston one afternoon to hear a job offer. When I got there, I found a beautiful, robe-wearing woman waiting for me. Now, in this day and age, most people would find that strange. I didn't for two reasons.

1) In this line of work, you run into a few crazies. If I had a dollar for every nut-job I turned away, I could buy a small European country.

2) It was Halloween. Hell, I was on my way to a party dressed in a replica suit of Veteran Ranger Armor from Fallout: New Vegas, complete with gas mask and real riot gear I borrowed from a friend on the SWAT team. I was gonna win the costume contest for sure!

I'm getting off topic, aren't I? Anyways, this weirdo offered me a job without going into much detail. No location, no objective, not even a dollar amount The only thing I got out of her was the promise that I would be saving thousands, if not millions of lives.

Every instinct told me to turn the job down, and yet I still accepted it. Maybe the idea of playing hero again had its appeal.

God, I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

When Twilight Sparkle accidently pours the milk before the tea, The Nega-Chin winds up in Equestria.

A warning from Princess Celestia is overridden by Pinkie Sense and leads Pinkie Pie into the Everfree forest where she makes a strange and talkative new friend. A heart burning tale of love, loss, lactose, and alliteration.
A/N: The Pyro's gender has been played with, but Valve has given no indication to him/her/shim being a male or female. Though I personally believe he is a female. I will use male pronouns because magic. I have no idea where this story came from but it exist now and I had fun writing it. Hope you like the read.

Art work:
'Partners in Crime' by kazahnii

Thank you to all those who read my story and who made it more popular than I thought possible. Thanks to all those who added it to their favorites, who gave it a thumbs up, and left comments (even the troll comments, because they made me smile) Here's the sequel

Currently being written by Antojo Pony .

So then, what would happen if a human baby ended up and was raised in Equestria?

Will they be a normal everyday worker? Will they be a Celestia Knight? Will they take over the world? Will they speed up Equestrias technology level with good old human ingenuity?

Honestly I have no idea!

So that's why I need YOUR help! You, the readers will decide their personality, their dreams, their... everything really. So lets get started!

Cover art made by ForestOfSpring

A young man lost in the hilly embrace of a mountain sleeps the night away under a knot of tree roots. When he wakes he will find himself thrust into a strange new environment, the Everfree Forest. With only his pack and his experience as a Boy Scout to aid him, he must survive, make sense of his surroundings and with some luck, ultimately find his way home. What does one do after wandering beyond the edge of the map? And better yet...

What if you are not alone?

I have been reading fan fiction here for a while and wanted to give something back.
My first fiction ever so constructive criticism is welcome. Fair warning, it takes a while for me to write a chapter so expect gaps between updates.

[Hiatus notice: As of 10/1/2022 this fiction is on hiatus so I may focus on other projects and items, will resume at a later date.]

Rated teen for strong language

Awesome cover art by Carnelian. Seriously, the guy has major skills with how fast he drew this up.

and of course ALL CHARACTERS / REFERENCES BELONG TO THEIR RESPECTIVE OWNERS. “MY LITTLE PONY FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC” IS OWNED BY HASBRO

NO PROFIT WAS MADE IN THE CREATION / DISTRIBUTION PLEASE DONT SUE ME OR ANY PARTY THAT DISTRIBUTES THIS WORK (unless they try to sell it, then by all means go nuts)

Revised as of 06/06/2013
Felix Jackson died saving a little girl from a train. Fortunately, it wasn't his time to go and Death was just about to send him back. But Felix pulls a fast one and tricks Death into sending him to Equestria. And Death is none to pleased about this. It's tough enough to avoid death on earth; but when you're the only human in a world of miniature technicolor ponies, hiding becomes all but impossible.

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Revision editing done by HoovesMcCoy, AuthorGenesis, and Anonymous

Pre-reading done by Hortense, Wazaga, Fantoche the 13th, Sallythemanatee, and munomana.