Applejack and Rainbow Dash prepare for Twilight's birthday... but hidden feelings get in the way.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Cool to see that this is on FIMfiction.
Holy fuck, talk about buildup. No, I don't have anything against it. In fact, the way you wrote it was very well done. The emotions were portrayed almost excessively...and that is where the fault is. No, I didn't skip everything for the lemon; I sat and read through all of it. Now, I'm not knocking you for writing the buildup and all the emotions, but there were quite a bit of memories touched upon. I do know what purpose it serves, and I'm certain everyone else does too. However, you could have afforded to cut some parts out and still capture the feelings properly.
Overall, very well written. A bit lengthy for my tastes, but well written.
I 'd
Then I 'd
But I 'd every moment of this story! Please write more!
I can't wait for the sequel!
It's a really, really great story. I find it very heartwarming and beautiful. Thank you for writing this :)
One question though, are you planning to write some kind of sequel? It would be great to read about further plot development.
Awesome story. I d when got smacked in the face by Good buildup and story.
Can't think of anything to say other than that this was excellent and you should never stop writing stories.
I loved it!
5 stars!
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I absolutely loved it, by far the best story I have ever read.
Very well done
same here 5/5
I love this is story! I've read this 3 times now! and still awesome as always!(not that it could change teehe) I really just needed to say to you, that it's a beautiful story, really keep it like that!
Newpony here wondering why it's refered to as "Lemon"?
Also, really sweet story, 5 stars from me!
Every
Villian
Is
Lemons
Well whats thats suppose to mean now. well
You said lemons?
great story! i dont usually like clop fic, but you exceeded my expectations with a very touching build up and flashbacks, made only better by a tasteful love scene... thank you
Nice story. You provided enough background, that the little clop part seemed just like a harmless addition, a cherry on top, rather than the cake itself (as other cloopfics seem to do quite often). For that, you most certainly deserve a thumb.
As a side note, I have to admit, that it would read even better if you accented the transition from one character's story to another's. Even an empty line would suffice. I had to rewind a little here and there to follow the story because of that. Also, some missing spaces happened, mostly in the last chapter. But I have to clarify that I was reading the story in the epub format, so if it looks better here, on the site, then pay no heed to my ranting .
"the storm outside the , Rainbow Dash spoke." -
(The lemon scene… has officially begun! For those of you who do not wish to read it, hit Crtl+F on your keyboard, and type "Skip Lemon")
^ I do not have a Crtl key. I do, however, have a Ctrl key.
49956
Just when you think you nailed them all. Thanks again!
464341
One of my favorite AJ/RD fics so far, if not my favorite!
Keep up the good work!
142471 mother of god...
That was amazing. You got me to believe this is how they actually met. Very epic, but I love epic stories so it was a wonderful read.
Lemon eh... lol. Had me worried for a second, I thought you were going to 'fade to black' right at the best part. I actually laughed out loud when I realised what was going on there.
That was a good story. Short and sweet. I think my favorite part was Rainbow sniffing and wearing AJ's hat. That's a pretty hilarious fetish. Also hot.
Oh and those weird sound effects you put in like "Pit… pit…pit…" and "*Shff shff, shff shff, shff shff…* *Fwf, fwf, fwf, fwf…*" ... I really have no idea what those are supposed to be. Tears falling and breathing? Why not just describe that instead of trying to type the sound? Trying to figure out what those sounds were supposed to be really pulled me out of the story and broke immersion. Killed the mood.
REALLY great clop, loved the ending to the first chapter especially, even going to post this on my page, Brony (Shipping), on facebook. I barely ever do that.
P.S. I hope Rainbow doesnt make this face when its AJs turn.
Awesome story even the lemon part was tasteful you did well my friend. keep em coming I expect a Fluttershy one soon
ugh
why the fuck didn't i favourite this here, yet?
Can't wait to read this! I'm a huge fan of AppleDash.
1183945
Aww, why the sad face?
I have to say, this story exceeded my expectations. By quite a lot! Amazing Story, maybe you could do a sequel?
Already three chapters in the sequel. "The Twilight Effect"
Im upset that i can't give you anymore than this....Great story!
I just started reading fanfics a few weeks ago but this is the best fanfic yet.
That story touched me, applause.
Well that was a nice and tender little story. I really liked reading that one. I look forward to reading more by you in the future. Keep up the great writing!
This is a rollercoaster of feelings, like, , , , , and
Very good. I really liked it. You have real talent. Thank you for writing and sharing that with us. You rock. Your story was beautiful. It made my day. :) Thanks.
5/5. Loved it to pieces.
Definitely one of the best romantic stories I've read. And certainly one of my favorite appledash stories. The story had emotions in droves and the love the two characters had for each other felt real and honest. (The lemony portion was excellent as well.) Overall a fantastic tale with great back story, epic emotion and ties to in-show cannon (one of my personal favorite things to see).
Awesome job
I agree with the ones up top it was really really good, in fact, you could continue this :) It sounds like it could get really good. I hope you may write more someday :)
NOOOOO! THE END?! BUT IT WAS SUCH A GOOD STORY!!
Why Rainbow nu return favor
Thanks for the fic!
Cute, but a mouthful of mud is just gross. That’s not something you do to a friend.