"Ooooh! That doesn't look like an apple tree! *Gasp!* Maybe it's a new kind of apple tree! I wonder if it grows rainbow apples! Bleck! Those would taste terrible!" she mused out loud, prancing off of the dirt trail, and down the hill into the orchard."
I actually just started reading this and this line struck me because the newest episode that came out yesterday featured rainbow apples called zap apples that were so good that ponyville went from just an orchard to the town it is!
Thought I should have kept that to myself but noone will read it anyway so wtvr.
Someday, Pinkie Pie was going to disappear from Ponyville without a trace. That is quite ironic. Great story so far. I can't believe AJ would mess up SOOO bad like that.
Ouch Aj that hurt more than a buck to the face. That's why my rule is never to say what you're thinking when you're angry because you never really mean it.
Also the scene where Rainbow was enamored with AJ's hat was awesome. I could almost smell the apples and feel the warmth of the memories.
I'm reading this and I can't tell what it is, but something just seems... off. Maybe its the pacing or the scene transitions, but something doesn't quite click right for me. I wish I could provide more constructive criticism, but I'm still figuring it out. However, the scene with Rainbow sniffing AJ's hat and relating the smell the way she did was actually kinda nice. I also like her reasoning for enjoying fall and its relation to AJ again. Its sweet. Just the writing seems a little jagged. Like we are moving from set piece to set piece without a smooth transition. I dunno, I'll keep reading.
"So that's what that was! Right before I saw you, I saw this beautiful patch of flowers! I just had to smell them! So I walked over and went *SNOOOORT!*–
this story is just awesome.... i love it, tho it's pretty exhausting to translate it^^
49978 translate?
"Ooooh! That doesn't look like an apple tree! *Gasp!* Maybe it's a new kind of apple tree! I wonder if it grows rainbow apples! Bleck! Those would taste terrible!" she mused out loud, prancing off of the dirt trail, and down the hill into the orchard."
I actually just started reading this and this line struck me because the newest episode that came out yesterday featured rainbow apples called zap apples that were so good that ponyville went from just an orchard to the town it is!
Thought I should have kept that to myself but noone will read it anyway so wtvr.
118689
poor rainbow
Someday, Pinkie Pie was going to disappear from Ponyville without a trace.
That is quite ironic. Great story so far. I can't believe AJ would mess up SOOO bad like that.
Wow... That hurts, and so bad
Ouch Aj that hurt more than a buck to the face. That's why my rule is never to say what you're thinking when you're angry because you never really mean it.
Also the scene where Rainbow was enamored with AJ's hat was awesome. I could almost smell the apples and feel the warmth of the memories.
I'm reading this and I can't tell what it is, but something just seems... off. Maybe its the pacing or the scene transitions, but something doesn't quite click right for me. I wish I could provide more constructive criticism, but I'm still figuring it out. However, the scene with Rainbow sniffing AJ's hat and relating the smell the way she did was actually kinda nice. I also like her reasoning for enjoying fall and its relation to AJ again. Its sweet. Just the writing seems a little jagged. Like we are moving from set piece to set piece without a smooth transition. I dunno, I'll keep reading.
"So that's what that was! Right before I saw you, I saw this beautiful patch of flowers! I just had to smell them! So I walked over and went *SNOOOORT!*–
Pinkie, sweetheart, lay off the coke.: