• Member Since 19th Sep, 2011
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Skeptical Poet


Comments ( 80 )

Cool to see that this is on FIMfiction.

Holy fuck, talk about buildup. No, I don't have anything against it. In fact, the way you wrote it was very well done. The emotions were portrayed almost excessively...and that is where the fault is. No, I didn't skip everything for the lemon; I sat and read through all of it. Now, I'm not knocking you for writing the buildup and all the emotions, but there were quite a bit of memories touched upon. I do know what purpose it serves, and I'm certain everyone else does too. However, you could have afforded to cut some parts out and still capture the feelings properly.

Overall, very well written. A bit lengthy for my tastes, but well written.


I :rainbowlaugh:'d

Then I :fluttercry:'d

But I :heart:'d every moment of this story! Please write more!

I can't wait for the sequel!

It's a really, really great story. I find it very heartwarming and beautiful. Thank you for writing this :)
One question though, are you planning to write some kind of sequel? It would be great to read about further plot development.

I totally love chapter one it is a really good story so far:pinkiehappy:

Awesome story. I :rainbowlaugh:d when :ajbemused: got smacked in the face by :rainbowwild: Good buildup and story.

Can't think of anything to say other than that this was excellent and you should never stop writing stories.

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this story is just awesome.... i love it, tho it's pretty exhausting to translate it^^

you ever thought of getting a professional writer? :rainbowderp:

I absolutely loved it, by far the best story I have ever read.
Very well done

same here 5/5

Okay I'm hooked.
I also seem to have started selectively reading only AppleDash fics...
WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?!

Fantastic story so far!
Can't wait to finish this!
:fluttercry:

I love this is story! I've read this 3 times now! and still awesome as always!(not that it could change teehe) I really just needed to say to you, that it's a beautiful story, really keep it like that!
:ajsmug::heart::rainbowkiss:

Newpony here wondering why it's refered to as "Lemon"?
Also, really sweet story, 5 stars from me!

"Ooooh! That doesn't look like an apple tree! *Gasp!* Maybe it's a new kind of apple tree! I wonder if it grows rainbow apples! Bleck! Those would taste terrible!" she mused out loud, prancing off of the dirt trail, and down the hill into the orchard."

I actually just started reading this and this line struck me because the newest episode that came out yesterday featured rainbow apples called zap apples that were so good that ponyville went from just an orchard to the town it is!

Thought I should have kept that to myself but noone will read it anyway so wtvr.

Every
Villian
Is
Lemons

Well whats thats suppose to mean now. well

Dude... Just... Wow. I don't know what to say, this is just brilliant. You have a new fan now, I look forward to reading more stories of yours.

great story! i dont usually like clop fic, but you exceeded my expectations with a very touching build up and flashbacks, made only better by a tasteful love scene... thank you

Nice story. You provided enough background, that the little clop part seemed just like a harmless addition, a cherry on top, rather than the cake itself (as other cloopfics seem to do quite often). For that, you most certainly deserve a thumb. :twilightsmile:

As a side note, I have to admit, that it would read even better if you accented the transition from one character's story to another's. Even an empty line would suffice. I had to rewind a little here and there to follow the story because of that. Also, some missing spaces happened, mostly in the last chapter. But I have to clarify that I was reading the story in the epub format, so if it looks better here, on the site, then pay no heed to my ranting . :pinkiesmile:

". Big Macintosh looked at the young Applejack" - Why is there a period in front of this? e.deviantart.com/emoticons/moods/surprise/confused.gif :moustache:

"the storm outside the , Rainbow Dash spoke." - :rainbowderp:
(The lemon scene… has officially begun! For those of you who do not wish to read it, hit Crtl+F on your keyboard, and type "Skip Lemon")
^ I do not have a Crtl key. I do, however, have a Ctrl key.

49956 :moustache:

:facehoof:

Just when you think you nailed them all. Thanks again!

One of my favorite AJ/RD fics so far, if not my favorite!

Keep up the good work!

That was amazing. You got me to believe this is how they actually met. Very epic, but I love epic stories so it was a wonderful read. :pinkiehappy:

Lemon eh... lol. Had me worried for a second, I thought you were going to 'fade to black' right at the best part. I actually laughed out loud when I realised what was going on there.

That was a good story. Short and sweet. I think my favorite part was Rainbow sniffing and wearing AJ's hat. That's a pretty hilarious fetish. Also hot.

Oh and those weird sound effects you put in like "Pit… pit…pit…" and "*Shff shff, shff shff, shff shff…* *Fwf, fwf, fwf, fwf…*" ... I really have no idea what those are supposed to be. Tears falling and breathing? Why not just describe that instead of trying to type the sound? Trying to figure out what those sounds were supposed to be really pulled me out of the story and broke immersion. Killed the mood.

REALLY great clop, loved the ending to the first chapter especially, even going to post this on my page, Brony (Shipping), on facebook. I barely ever do that.

P.S. I hope Rainbow doesnt make this face when its AJs turn. :rainbowwild:

Awesome story even the lemon part was tasteful you did well my friend. :pinkiehappy: keep em coming I expect a Fluttershy one soon :raritywink:

ugh

why the fuck didn't i favourite this here, yet?

Hmm... I love how you introduced the story. You created a nice setting to a colorful world.
I'm always a fan of dialogue closely following the imagery.
Although, if you're going to set up your plot in this way, I might recommend waiting to introduce the protagonist's name until after she begins her dialogue.
That way, the reader catches interest immediately.
This tactic is even better because with the words,
"Oh for hay's sake, she's got a rainbow for a mane!"
One can recognize the tongue Applejack uses as well as her short temper.
I might recommend beginning the introduction with another of those descriptions you do so well, this time describing Applejack instead of using her name.

Marvelous start.

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