Hmm... I love how you introduced the story. You created a nice setting to a colorful world. I'm always a fan of dialogue closely following the imagery. Although, if you're going to set up your plot in this way, I might recommend waiting to introduce the protagonist's name until after she begins her dialogue. That way, the reader catches interest immediately. This tactic is even better because with the words, "Oh for hay's sake, she's got a rainbow for a mane!" One can recognize the tongue Applejack uses as well as her short temper. I might recommend beginning the introduction with another of those descriptions you do so well, this time describing Applejack instead of using her name.
I totally love chapter one it is a really good story so far
Okay I'm hooked.
I also seem to have started selectively reading only AppleDash fics...
WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?!
86495 double comment dude
Nice landing haha
Hmm... I love how you introduced the story. You created a nice setting to a colorful world.
I'm always a fan of dialogue closely following the imagery.
Although, if you're going to set up your plot in this way, I might recommend waiting to introduce the protagonist's name until after she begins her dialogue.
That way, the reader catches interest immediately.
This tactic is even better because with the words,
"Oh for hay's sake, she's got a rainbow for a mane!"
One can recognize the tongue Applejack uses as well as her short temper.
I might recommend beginning the introduction with another of those descriptions you do so well, this time describing Applejack instead of using her name.
Marvelous start.