The Equestria Games
"What's wrong Shining?" Cadence asked, taking a long lick of the creamsicle that she had grasped in her magical hold (making sure to swirl her tongue around the very tip, gathering up some of the precious juices...). She, along with the rest of the gathered group, were sitting in the Crystal Empire’s most popular ice cream parlor. "You haven't touched your Murder Ice Cream. Is it not a flavor you like?"
"It's not the flavor that I dislike," Shining grumbled, looking at the big banana split that was sitting in front of him.
"Is it because there aren't enough sprinkles?" Tydal asked as he ate a spoonful of the creamy strawberry ice cream he'd ordered. "I knew there weren't enough!" He leapt to his hooves and glared at the server at the counter, who remained oblivious to the doom that was heading his way. "I will wipe out his entire family for this! No one stiffs my friend out of his sprinkles! You earned those for murdering!"
"It isn't because of the sprinkles!" Shining said quickly.
"Maybe it is the banana?" Sunset offered with a smirk, enjoying her chocolate/vanilla swirl.
Twilight glared at her brother, dropping the spoon in her sundae. "It isn't that, right? You know you need more potassium in your diet! That's why you get Charlie People in your legs!"
"It isn't the stupid banana!" Shining snapped.
The Evil Muffin floated around Shining's head, a small kiddie cone gripped by his evil magic. "Is it because they ran out of napkins?"
"No..." Shining grumbled.
"Frick, bro, Is it because they didn't put any maple syrup on it, eh?" Aurora asked, the rest of the Maple 6 seating beside her enjoying their waffle cones. “We could go to Timmy’s, see if they got any-“
"NO!" Shining shouted. "It's because I don't enjoy getting ice cream when I murder two ponies!"
"...you are a very strange pony," Tydal said, the others nodding their heads in agreement.
Shining just let out a sigh.
The God Squad: Equestria’s Most Wanted
Episode 40- The Equestria Games
"I am just so excited!" Pinkie said with a massive grin, vibrating in her seat. "Aren't you excited? I bet you're excited! I can't help but be excited! You better be excited! Everypony seems so excited! Why wouldn’t the be excited? Have you ever noticed if you say 'excited' a lot the word loses all sense of meaning and sounds funny in your ears? Excited. Excited. Excited. Excited. Excited. Excited. Excited. Excited. Excited. Excited. Excited. Excited. Excited. Excited. Excited. Excited. Excited. Excited. Excited. Excited. Excited. Excited. Excited. Excited. Excited. Excited. Excited. Excited. Excited. Excited. Excited. Excited. Excited. Excited. Excited. Excited. Excited. Excited. Excited. Excited. Excited. Excited. Excited. Excited. Excited. Excited. Excited. Excited-"
"PINKIE!" Applejack snapped. "We know, everypony knows... excited!"
"...you know or you are ex-"
"YES!" everypony that was seated around her shouted.
"Oh...good"
Applejack and Rarity shared a look and small frustrated smiles; it seemed no matter what Pinkie would always be Pinkie. Normally AJ wouldn't have lost her cool so quickly but with only her and Rarity to keep Pinkie occupied what was usually a rather easy task was now insanely taxing. It was like trying to babysit the CMC, the Cake Twins, and Discord all at the same time.
Of course it wasn’t like their friends were ditching the three of them. They simply didn’t have a choice. Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy were currently in the opening ceremonies and then would be prepping for the aerial relay and while they would find a bit of time to join them and watch some of the other events they simply wouldn’t be able to spend the entire Games up in the stands eating fattening treats and cheering for their town’s team.
Their sisters, along with Scootaloo, had been selected as Flag Bearers and that meant that not only were they part of the parade that was currently winding around below them but also would have to do some interviews, get a tour of the stadium, and other special perks. Rarity hadn’t been exactly sure about that, as fears of their sisters destroying the stadium rang through her head, but when she’d asked Applejack to support her on getting the three to come back right after the parade Applejack had told her friend no, the girls had earned this. It was a once in a lifetime opportunity and who were they to deny them? Rarity had sputtered at that but Applejack had merely asked if Rarity’s mother was thrilled with her constantly saving Equestria; the fashionista admitted that no, her mother tended to get rather angry over Rarity risking herself time and time again… but she knew Rarity needed to do it, wanted to do it, and thus didn’t stand in her way. And the same was true with the CMC.
As for the rest of their friends Spike was getting ready to light the big torch that would signify the start of the games while Twilight had to go site with Princess Celestia, Luna, Cadence, and the other VIPS in their booth. Applejack and Rarity had been invited to come but both had refused; Rarity said it wouldn’t be right for them to join such royalty (even though they had cupcakes and lunches with one of those said royal ponies) and as for Applejack she REALLY didn’t want to have to sit still and act like a china doll while sitting with the Who’s Who of Equestria…
~With said Who’s Who…~
“URRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!”
“Well done, brother!” Discord said with a grin, cracking another beer and floating it to the war god. The God of Chaos was wearing a beer helmet though only one it held was a can was actually beer… the other was a can of string cheese.
“Thanks,” Tydal said, crushing the can against his forehead. He looked up at Celestia, Luna, Twilight, and Cadence and wiggled the full can. “Sure you don’t want a sip?”
“No, father, we’re good,” Celestia said, trying to remain dignified. While she loved her father with all her heart and enjoyed spending time with him his utter hatred for the elite made him a pain at times. She could tell he was playing this super thick, just hoping to annoy those sitting with them. It was even worse with Discord next to him; Tydal and the draconequus still butted heads but had become closer over the last few months and both had an extreme hatred for the rich and powerful. The two of them having a chance to be drinking buddies meant that what might have been a minor issue was quickly snowballing into a disaster.
“We are?” Luna asked, only to get a look from Celestia. “I mean yes, we are.”
“Meh, suit yourself,” Tydal said, draining his can.
Down at the tunnel the representatives were coming out of Shining Armor stood tall and proud in his royal purple armor, his eyes shut as he cleared his voice and proudly proclaimed, “Presenting the representatives of-“
CLANG!
“-Manehatten,” he muttered, looking down at the beer can Discord had thrown at him.
“TWO POINTS!” the Chaos God shouted.
“Let me try!” Tydal said, hurling a can and hitting Shining’s helmet. “BOO-YAH!”
“Could you please not do that?” Cadence asked politely.
“Thank you,” the mayor of Cloudsdale stated with a huff. “Finally somepony-“
“If you hurt Shining’s brain it might give him performance issues. I simply can have that.”
Tydal nodded. “Of course. That’s the only thing the gimp is good at. Besides, the non-pony combatants-“
“Athletes, Lord Tydal,” Twilight said with a weak smile, “they are called athletes.”
“-are about to enter and I am interested to see who has come.”
“Really?” Celestia said, surprised.
“But of course!” Tydal declared. “You continually force me to spend time in your country with your subjects and being surrounded by a populous made up of nearly 98% pony I understand what it is like for these towns and villages that are made up of different races and find themselves surrounded on all sides by feather brained daredevil pegasi…” he looked to the mayor of Cloudsdale, “some offense, the brutish and sometimes dimwitted Earth ponies… again, some offense.”
“None taken!” Brauburn, the appointed representative of his town said with a grin from his seat in the low end of the VIP box. “We in APPLELOOSA think book-learnin’ is for sissies! That’s why I believe math is a lie made up by Hades himself! Ain’t no one that can convince me that 2 plus 2 has ta equal 3! Or is it 5?”
Celestia facehooved.
“And then there are the unicorns… the snobby, prudish, stick-up-their-plots (not those kind, Cadence),” the pink alicorn pouted, “-ponies that seem to believe they are the greatest beings to ever trot on this earth. All the offense,” Tydal told the mayor of Manehatten.
“I’m with you, brother,” Discord said, turning his beer can into a can-shaped apple. “I always do enjoy the spoiler and thus competitors tend to make great spoilers.”
Twilight looked at all the VIPs that were glaring at Discord and Tydal and chuckled nervously. Not because she feared an international incident… more because she feared one of the VIPS would forget that the two before them were the God of War, Sea, and Storms and the God of Chaos, Disorder, and Madness. All it would take is one wrong word, one snide retort, and the brothers might just decided to begin throwing spells and fantails about.
“So,” Twilight said with mock cheerfulness, trying to move the conversation to something less dangerous, “who here is excited that Supermare is moving to the CW?”
“We can discuss amazing shows in a moment, Princess Twilight,” Tydal said, motioning for her to shush. “They are calling the next group.”
Down below them Shining called out, “Presenting the representatives of Clawley!” From the tunnel flew a group of lean yet strong griffons, their faces stern though it was clear they were excited to be part of the Equestria Games.
“Ah, griffins that haven’t been reduced to the pathetic wussies our brother has bred through his foolish pajama-clad ways,” Tydal said, speaking of course of Fuzzy Thinker and the wimpy birdies that lived in Grifland.
“Yes, Clawley was founded about 200 years ago, before Fuzzy’s final cultural revolution,” Celestia stated, trying to remember the exact history of the town on the upper northern coast. “They aren’t as bad as the antisocial griffins who live in the former colony of Griffinstone but they are won’t just roll over like the Grifland griffins.”
“Pity,” Discord said, rubbing his chin. He was now wearing a baseball uniform for the simple reason of… er… “That is much too boring. I would have preferred if they were either wimps that became like the Hulk or insane goth punks.”
“Presenting the representatives of the Badlands!” Shining called out, moving as a group of rough and tumble winged drop bears dressed in black leather, bits of metal, and wild hair cuts rushed out of the tunnels, hooting and hollering. Many were wearing dog collars and had piercings, and one even had a metal arm.
“Oh what a day! WHAT A LOVELY DAY!” one shouted as he zipped about.
“…let’s go drinking with them tonight,” Tydal suggested.
“Because it would be a wild and crazy time?” Discord asked with a grin.
“Because I want them hangover before their first matches.” Tydal smirked as he looked down at the tunnel. “Any advantage…”
“Presenting the representatives of... Bridle Bay.”
Tydal began cheering his head off as a troupe of capricorns marched out of the tunnel, waving their blue, brown, teal, and bronze tails. One even had a tail like liquid gold. They moved like soldiers on parade, their eyes flicking about the arena looking for threats. Of course they were, in fact, soldiers; some of Tydal’s best and brightest warriors. They were from different squads and divisions and had many different roles (in the mix were a drill sergeant, a commando, and one of Tydal’s best spies who was tickled pink to be able to sneak into the Empire in plain view of all).
“Thank you for saying any that dwell in Equestria could field a team,” Tydal said with a grin. “And thank you for declaring that my capital is in YOUR bay… and thus is part of Equestria. Had you simply allowed me to keep the waters as my domain we could never have come to these Games.”
Luna chuckled as she watched Celestia sink into her chair, going red with embarrassment. “Well… we can kiss any swimming gold medals goodbye…”
“Where are Chyrsalis and Sunset?” Celestia said quickly, wanting to focus on something else.
Cadence shrugged. “Chrysalis isn’t allowed in the Crystal Empire… big sparkly heart fueled by positive emotions? Would be too much of a temptation. Like when I go to a strip club.”
“Sunset agreed to keep her company... said she wanted to avoid Shining’s house of horrors,” Tydal stated.
Discord looked about the stands, cupping his hands over his eyes like they were binoculars. “I see a lot of the ponies who live near Fluttershy here.”
“You mean the ponies from Ponyville?” Twilight asked dryly.
“Is that what the place is called?” Discord said. “Hmmm. Anyway, it looks as if nearly all the pathetic little ponies who live near my dear friend Fluttershy are here.”
“Oh, everypony is!” Twilight said with a grin. “We’ve all come to cheer on our team. I think the only ones who didn’t come were the Cake Twins and their babysitter.”
Celestia frowned at that. “Surely you don’t mean everypony. You did leave some police or guards to protect your homes, right?”
Twilight’s pupils went to pinpricks.
~In Ponyville~
Chrysalis trotted out of Rarity’s boutique, carrying loads of clothing and jewelry with her magic. All around her the sounds of windows being shattered and doors being smashed in filled the air, other thieves taking everything out of the houses that had even an ounce of value. The Changeling Queen looked over at Sunset who was just shaking her head.
“Could this town be any stupider?” Sunset muttered, watching as the Cake Twins happily pulled some bags of bits from the bank.
Chrysalis turned towards Twilight’s Library. “Enough gabbing, get grabbing.”
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The Crystal Empire should just switch their snowflake flag with a maple leaf one, they aren't fooling anyone at this point.
Nice to see Sunset making new friends!
How rude, not eating your murder dessert.
I wonder which team are changelings in disguise.
I was going to go 'poor Chryssie, but then I read the ending.
At least her and Sunset are bonding.
There there, buddy.
Can'T you mean.
Did someone poison Appleloosa's water with lead? Because you're more idiotic than the inhabitants of Teufort in the TF2 comics.
Or worse. Make Discord mad.
True...
Yeah.
Quite.
Yes.
Oh, how I missed this!
Another enjoyable chapter. Great job.
I missed the surreal insanity this series offers...
If you want some help with the cameo I mentioned last chapter just pm me. This one was funny though
7484537
Right now I honestly don't know when I'd even work it in... let's just say that the final arc (Tydal vs. Tirek) sets up the sequel to go on a wild opening arc.
7484573 PM me and well talk about it more
If the yaks got to compete against the buffalos (by buffalos I mena bison, but that's what they are called in MLP) in an olympic games setting, I wonder how things would develop.
7485570
The Yaks are their own country. The buffalo did compete. They actually got the silver from synchronized swimming.