Neigh Day
“No princesses or the slut, now I’ll kill Twilight’s firm butt!” Coral happily sang, trotting through the halls of her father’s Keep. The rest of the capricorns were buzzing about, preparing for the time of genocide when they would enact their king’s final revenge upon the world. Coral didn’t get why some of them were grumpy, however… she knew her father was perfectly fine. She had felt a pulse of his magic a few days ago and knew that the god of the sea had returned to his war-like ways. Misty and her mother thought it was just Coral wishing, but she knew her father was fine and that he would either come soon to stop the war… or not. Perhaps he had decided he wanted a war and he was on a sunny beach letting the clock tick down. If so, Coral hoped he brought her back a t-shirt.
The pink-haired capricorn giggled. All the subjects forgot that she was her father's heir, his eldest and co-favorite (along with Misty, of course). While her sister was close to their father, Coral and Tydal shared a bond and she KNEW her father was alive.
Coral used her magic to open the door to her room, happily skipping in. However, instead of the enchanted lights instantly popping on, the capricorn princess was greeted with darkness.
"Hi there!" Coral said happily, waving to the black stallion that was standing near her bed.
"How did you know I was here?" the stallion said in surprise, adjusting his long coat nervously.
"I'm a capricorn, silly billy!" Coral leapt onto her bed and began to bounce up and down. "We have night vision!"
"Oh... well, I will make a note of that in your file." The stallion reached for a folder, only for Coral to press her face to his. "Uh..."
"Why do you have an eyepatch on? Are you hiding something? Is it candy?" She grabbed the eyepatch and pulled it away. "AAAAAAAAAAA!" She fell back, the patch slapping the black stallion and causing him to stumble back. "That wasn't candy!"
"No, it wasn't," the stallion said in annoyance. "Now then... my name is Nicked Fury... I'm here to talk to you about the Avenger Initiative."
The God Squad: Equestria's Most Wanted
Episode 8: Neigh Day
"Wow," Luna said, looking around at all the thieves milling about the Guild's headquarters. "This is... nasty looking."
Sticky Hooves nodded. "You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy."
"What about Tatooine?"
"Where?"
"Huh?"
Sticky Hooves shook his head. "We are a dangerous sort, so I suggest that you stick close to me until-"
"Hey there, pretty mare," a clearly drunk thief slurred, grinding against the moon princess' flank. "Did you know rape is legal in Prance?"
Luna merely glared at him.
~Meanwhile...~
Tydal gave a full body shiver as he settled into his seat.
"Are you ok, sir?" the driver of the carriage called out. The last thing he wanted was for there to be a twitchy capricorn sitting behind him (back in the old days twitchy-capricorns had been the leading cause of death, right before gingivitis).
The war god smiled. "Oh yes... I just sensed my dear little princess use my old lessons to take care of a problem."
~MC~MC~MC~
"...and that is why you always treat a mare with dignity and respect," Luna said, licking the blood from her lips. "Not that you personally can use my lessons, since you're kinda dead..."
The other thieves nodded, hurrying to pull a chair out for her and get her a glass of wine. Two of them grabbed some violins they had stolen and began to play Luna a little ditty. The moon goddess nodded, the thieves falling over themselves in delight that the mare that had proven herself the most deadly was not seeking to bring judgement down upon them.
"Now then," Luna said, her magic grabbing her wine glass and bringing it to her lips, "what exactly is the purpose of this guild. Is it more of a loose collective that acts as a kind of gentlecolt's club where you can unwind and chat with others who have similar lifestyles as your own? Or are you actively banding together so that you might achieve grander and loftier goals while also coordinating your thefts so all get a piece of the pie?"
Sticky Hooves blinked. "The second one, actually."
"Ooooooo!" Luna squealed. "I love conspiracies! Lay it on me, lay it on me!"
"Monsieur Hooves, do you believe that it is a wise idea to let this one know our secrets?" Singalong, a thief who tended to pose as a bard, sang. His horn glowed as he strummed his lute to its own unique tune.
"Is it safe to deny me, after seeing what happened to your friend?" Luna kicked the corpse of the pony that had tried to have his way with her.
"... she brings up a good point," Sticky commented. He leaned forward, ignoring Singalong's glare, and whispered to Luna, "We proud ponies of Prance band together because of our dark ruler."
"It isn't King Sombra, is it?" Luna asked, sticking out her tongue in annoyance. "I hate that pony... all those stairs! It makes me feel like I am at the gym!"
"We only wish it was King Sombra," Sticky complained. "Our ruler is obsessed with modernizing! He wishes to drive away all the traditions and customs of Prance! It has been like this for years... we no longer feel as if the country we love exists!" Sticky sighed, tears gathering in his eyes. "It has gotten so horrible that I was forced to send my daughter Derpadella to your Equestria, so that she might avoid this life!" He lowered his head in shame. "Only now, I learn she is married to a stallion with a Trottingham accent..."
“So we overthrow him,” Luna said simply, trotting over to closet and using her magic to begin rummaging through the stolen clothing.
“Say what now?” Sticky said in surprise, snapping out of his despair. He watched as Luna grabbed a white dress shirt, a black skirt, and a tan vest and began to get dressed. “What do you mean, overthrow him?”
“Exactly what I said is what I mean!” Luna said happily, snagging the belt of the stallion who had tried to rape her. She slipped it around her waist, checking over the knives that were attached to it. “If that monster is oppressing you then you should fight back!” She smirked. “Don’t worry, I have experience in this.”
“You do?” Singalong asked.
“Of course… and this time I WON’T try and bring about eternal night!”
“…what?”
“So, who is the ruler pony?” Luna asked, already drawing up plans for a barricade.
Sticky shifted uneasily. “Well, his name is-“
~MC~MC~MC~
“Nuts, hot salty huts!” Wall Breaker exclaimed happily, grabbing the bag of treats from the vendor.
“Why did you announce that out loud?” Logic Point asked, wondering if it hadn’t been a mistake to join Breaker for a stroll around the Canterlot Fair Grounds on their day off.
“Oh, well I am doing the Austin Powers bit, where one pony began a statement and I finished it… only, instead of saying the name the audience expected, I talked about nuts.”
“…sometimes I am worried you have brain damage.” Logic leaned down to take a bite from his bag, only to gasp. “Hot! Hot hot hot!”
“Of course they are! You need to cool them down by blowing on them. Come on-“
~MC~MC~MC~
“Blowhard!” Celestia exclaimed in joy, happily trotting around the general’s halls, eyes lighting up as she took in his collection of fine paintings. “This is truly amazing!”
“It is, isn’t it?” the short stallion said, a touch of sadness in his voice. “I wish the rest of Prance could see things as you do.”
Celestia frowned, trotting away from the painting and sitting down next to the moping Neapolitan. “What’s wrong, my little pony? Are you sad that the only thing your country is known for is cheese and cowards?”
“No,” Neapolitan said with a sigh.
“Because you are, you know that, right? You are only known for those two things.”
“Yes, but that isn’t why I am upset,” Blowhard stated in mild annoyance. “I am depressed because I look at all this and realize that my citizens fail to see the wonder in all of this.”
“Why don’t you show them?” Celestia asked. “Present them with these works and let them revel in their beauty.”
Blowhard shook his head. “Nay.”
“…are you saying no or did you just whiny?”
“I don’t even know anymore!” Blowhard exclaimed. He got up and began to pace. “I just don’t know what to do! I mean, there are all these thieves around Prance who steal the great artwork!”
“Why would they do that?” Celestia asked.
“Because they want to hang onto the past. They refuse to move forward and see that we are living in a new, bright age! They let their fear govern them and they drag the rest of the country down with them!” Blowhard lowered his head sadly. “I just don’t know what to do.”
“Kill’em.”
“Yes, we could-WHA?!?!”
Celestia nodded. “Yes, I say you kill them. Nip this in the bud!” She stood up, her horn glowing as she called forth a sword and shield form the wall. “I allowed my sister to fall into darkness once and it only caused me pain and grief. If I had moved quicker and stopped her little rebelling sooner, I might have saved her from a life on the moon.” Celestia shrugged. “Also, I am bored as heck, so I figure a nice war will do well to kill the time.”
“What?!?”
“I was raised by a war god and I use to be a gladiator,” Celestia said, examining her sword to make sure it was sharp. “That gave me some pretty twisted views on the world… like it is ok to treat ponies as pawns in a giant, world-size game of chess which is purely designed to elevate a single lavender mare to alicorn status so we can shower together in a totally not-creepy way!”
“…what?”
~MC~MC~MC~
Shining’s horn glowed as he pressed the icepack to his flank as he stepped into the hotel lobby. Chrysalis and Rarity had pressed up to him so hard at the museum that they had left several bruises on his flank. The stallion didn’t quite know why they had done that and frankly he didn’t want to try to guess. The museum had been boring and Cadence was off with Sweetie Belle, teaching her how to pick up stallions… all of this equaled one annoyed soldier.
And he was about to get even more annoyed.
“Excuse me, Mr. Armor?” a clerk called out, racing after him. “Sir, we need to talk.”
“About what?” Shining grunted.
“About your bill.”
“Miss Rarity already paid for the room…”
“But she didn’t pay for the 37 adult films that were ordered last night. We still need to settle that account.”
Shining groaned, eyes shut. “She told me she was just channel surfing…”
“Sir?”
“Sorry just… wondering how my wife managed to watch 37 pornos.” The stallion blinked suddenly. “Uh… this might be a bad time to mention I don’t have any bits-“
“Don’t worry sir,” the clerk said with a grin, pulling out a maid’s outfit. “We have a way for you to work off your debt.”
“…the capricorn that was part of my group can never know about this… agreed?”
“Agreed.”
~MC~MC~MC~
Tydal sighed as he looked out the window, the lights of Prance growing smaller as the carriage rumbled away from the great city. Already he was missing his sisters (and even Shining, if he was honest). They had just gotten back together and already they were separated…
“Do you know what we do in Prance when we are depressed, sir?” the pony pulling the carriage called out. “We sing!”
Tydal glared at him. “I do not sing.”
“Well… if you want to, it is fine with me.”
“Right,” Tydal muttered, idly running his hoof along the cushion he sat on. “I… suppose one little song…”
"I won't tell a soul if you won't, sir."
Tydal
One day more
Another panic, more hysteria
This never-ending road to Equestria;
Every second makes the danger loom
If I don’t return all face doom.
One day more!
Rarity (clutching a photo of Shining as she sits in a Prance park)
I did not live until today.
Until I saw his gorgeous face
Tydal
One day more.
Rarity and Chrysalis (not realizing the other is singing or is only a few yards away)
With Cadence not in the way
As Shining’s bride I’ll take her place!
Shining (dressed as a maid, annoyed, scrubbing a toilet)
One more day all on my own.
RARITY AND CHRYSALIS
Shining will fall in love with me!
Shining
Forced to clean up while they all party.
RARITY AND CHRYSALIS
Shining will be my love!
Shining
Still, Cadence is the best I’ve ever known.
RARITY AND CHRYSALIS
It was destined from above!
Shining
She is the only mare for me!
Luna (in her Thief Garb, on top of the Guild’s hideout, staring at Blowhard’s chateau)
One more day before the storm!
Singalong
I can’t believe you’re doing this
Luna
At the barricades of freedom.
Singalong
Seriously, we picked this song?
Luna
When our ranks begin to form
Singalong
It is so overhyped!
Luna
Will you take your place with me?
The Thieves
The time is now, the day is here!
TYDAL
One day more!
Celestia (dressed in military garb, marching amongst Neopolitian’s soldiers)
One more day to revolution,
We will nip it in the bud!
We’ll be ready for these thieves!
They will wet themselves with blood!
TYDAL
One day more!
Cadence and Sweetie Belle (trotting through a bar)
Watch 'em run amuck,
Date'em as they fall,
Never know your luck
When there's a free for all,
Here a little `dip'
There a little `duck'
They are all so sexy
So we’ll all go have a…pluck!
Thieves (2 Groups)
1: One day to a new beginning
2: Raise the flag of freedom high!
1: Every mare will be a queen!
2: Every mare will be a queen!
1: There's a new world for the winning
2: There's a new world to be won
ALL THIEVES
Do you hear the ponies sing?
Singalong
That’s it, I’m out, you all truly suck!
TYDAL
One day more!
RARITY AND CHRYSALIS
I did not live until today.
Celestia
Shining I will join these ponies' heroes
One more day all on my own! I will follow where they go
I will learn their little Secrets,
RARITY AND CHRYSALIS I will know the things they know.
I will be Shining’s loving bride!
TYDAL
One day more!
RARITY AND CHRYSALIS Celestia
Cadence is long out of the way! One more day to revolution
We will nip it in the bud
Shining We'll be ready for these ponies Cadence
Cadence is sure the best Watch 'em run amok
Now they take their falls
RARITY AND CHRYSALIS Never know your luck
Shining and I were destined for each other Don’t forget to lick the-
TYDAL
Tomorrow I'll be far away,
Tomorrow is the judgment day
ALL
Tomorrow we'll discover
What defender2222 has in store!
One more dawn
One more day
One day more!
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...Discord, Deadpool, shall we?
defender2222, Discord and Deadpool
I dreamed a dream my story could be
So different from this crap your reading!
So different now than what it seems!
Darth Link has killed that dream... I dreamed!
Seriously though, if anyone where to ever actually record that, I would jump at the chance to do Tydal's part. I've done musical theater before.
And by the way, don't be surprised if there are longer periods of posting than normal... it is in the early stages, nothing I can announce, but I am turning a lot of attention to my novel, Bull Island, at the moment.
*Facehoofs........ hard*
Wait... has this become a musical?
That killed me, I'm dead and it's all your fault. Also, put a scene of Twilight eating a brownie into The Abundance, that's something that everyone needs to read about.
-Mis
Hey guys what's going on in this fi...
Well then. That happened
so, are you actualy going to update tomorrow?
Wait, no, that was bucking aweseome (might be because I love Les Miz so much, though).
I can't stop grinning at this.
2408968
Nope. That's why I added the note about the updates being slightly longer in waiting than normal.
I kept facehoofing thorough this whole thing especially Celestia's part and that song, really is this a musical now?
Holy mother of Tydal...that end song was just, beautiful
Okay Les Mis out of nowhere is amazing
Now I want to see the movie this came from. Also, yeah, hoping for a possible V for Vendetta reference in later chapters.
2409020
2408877
epicgifs.net/images/show/067DXT40
that end song....Loved Le Miserables
2409258
Les Miserables is the name.
Oh GODS, I lost it at the cold opening, the song was very catchy, damn....this was pure fun, loved every second, have a strange urge to watch the Dark Knight trilogy....hmmm....this is AWESOME!!! Can't wait for more
As soon as Celestia said "Nip this in the bud!" while talking about stopping the thieves, I thought of that line from "One Day More". And then, it happened. Well played, sir.
It's not overhyped, One Day More is epicness made into music format!
But Master of the House is better...
I Dreamed a Dream is overhyped.
2408765 yes if this happens tell me I'd love to play a thief, I'm actualy a vocalist though I've never done musical theater it'd be a fun experience
Mother of Celestia. This is either going to be epic, or so bad it will go back around to good. Either way I eagerly await the next chapter.
Ah so we've got a war on our hands. This won't end for anyone I just know it.
So do we literally only have to wait a day for this? or what?....
Well now, that was awesomeness I didn't see coming. Well played.
Wow dude, you made le miserables for just a brief moment
I love you so much, really you could be a disgusting hobo and I would still treat you like the worlds most lovable puppy ever
Originally, I thought that may have been the best thing I've read yet in this series. And then you went and wrote this:
Which became the best thing I have read yet in this series. Until it turned into a musical....
2411257
I love his stuff.
2413127
Purely playfully bantering, nothing more.
They will sing, they will dance, and both of these, there in 'ol Prance!
This one was short, I do report, and in no way can this I distort!
I'd rather cease to find new rhymes, because it consumes too much time, to be now would be divine!
But it seem's I'm on a role even when tiredness is taking its tole! Two more lines, this is my goal.
Best Pony is Pinkie Pie, who somehow has learned how to fly and can eat a gemstone and not die!
Rarity she plays (yuck) Minecraft (that's what her Cutie Mark is REALLY about) and falls in lava cuz she's daft and- and- ... I can't think of any others cuz I'm daft?
Good night!
I knew it, a new war, Celestia (Solar Flare) vs. Luna (Nightmare Moon), is coming.
i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/172/619/roflbot.jpg
Oh, and as for 2408940 comment:
Are you going to do something like that in the future? Or are you thinking of outsourcing that concept to another writer? If the latter, I might have an idea or two for that approach so....
DIBS!!
2413928
I had completely forgotten about that talking candle stick. Alright, need to remember to add THAT to the Prance arc in some way...
2414026
Go right ahead, if you wish
2415170
i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/6882968832/h902173D5/
The musical at the end:
Season 3 Finale. Nuff said.
omg this is amazing!!!
idea!!!
luna:do you hear the ponies sing
singing the song of angry thieves
it is the music of the ponies who burgled your house
when the beating of your heart echos the beating of the drum
there is something to steal when tomorrow comes.
CMC:*cmc apper out of no where
*
will you join in our crusade
who will be strong and stand with me
beyond the barricade is there a world you you long to steal
then join in the plight that lets you take without a fee!
theives:do you hear the ponies sing
singing the song of angry thieves
it is the music of the ponies who burgled your house
when the beating of your heart echos the beating of the drum
there is something to steal when tomorrow comes.
all: will you take all you can take so that your fortune will increase
Some will fall and some will live
Will you stand up and take your chance?
floods of gold will water the medows of prance
all:do you hear the ponies sing
singing the song of angry thieves
it is the music of the ponies who burgled your house
when the beating of your heart echos the beating of the drum
there is something to steal when tomorrow comes.
sorry just had to do that after the les mis overload in the fic
And then they died. THE END.
2453807
check out my blog for the answer
2409258
Sweet jesus that reference
B-but... what about our bread?
Erhm... anyway. Truly an amazing comedy.
Kindly,
~SInrar
Les Mis.......
Wow, 37 pornos in one night
?
(De)Cadence is now my new goddess
!
(Also, someone should totally do that Celestia/Twilicorn shower scene that Celly alluded to!)
3066380
Well, since she wrote half of them it was easy for her to flip through them.
ohhhh defender you magnificent bastard, you! the song just remade my day since it was previously made by chapter 7
anyways just for futur3e reference, my keyboard is a piece of hit, because the S key never wants to work right, so sorry if certain words don't make sense
2410057 Wow wow wow, when she sing "But the tigers come at night, with their voices soft as thunder" its incredible.
Welcome, princess
Sit youself down
and meet the best ice cream in town
-salutes defender2222 while crying at computer-