Revelations: Twilight to Darkness
"Twilight, I know now that you can hear me... I saw you in my dreams last night, that long dark hallway. I know that you're nearing the end and you'll soon be back with us. You're friends, they... It's been so long, Twilight." Twilight allowed the words of Celestia to enter her ears from the end of the hallway as she continued down. "They can't bring themselves to come see you anymore. I can't tell them that I know you'll be back soon... Because I can't bring myself to see them. They know it was I who sent that book to you. They know it's because of me that you're in here."
"No, I did it myself."
"They don't hate me, but I wish they did. I can't stand to know they forgive me when I know I don't deserve it. Please, Twilight... Even if you can't bring Mystia back, promise me that you'll make it back... Promise me."
Twilight sighed as she continued down the hall. Her mind urged her to say the words, he heart saying no. Deep down, she knew it was a promise that could never be kept, for she did now know what lay at the end of the hall. There was only one way to find out though... As Twilight continued down the hall, she found a irresistible urge to begin singing.
For the rest of the walk, Mystia and her sang the song that was passed down through Mystia's family as she continued down the dark hallway. It didn't even phase her as the hallway slowly turned into the hallway of the Canterlot castle. It didn't phase her as she watched a changeling shoot into the room at the end of the hall, hitting the mare that dived in front of the bolt heading for Celestia.
It didn't phase her as she watched the room come into reach, Celestia disappearing, being replaced with a mare she had came to know. She looked back down the hall, where all of her friends were staring with sadness in their eyes. The dark void was telling her something... And she knew exactly what it was. With a single exhale, she stepped into the room, where the sounds of singing immediately stopped.
Dead silence.
Until the mare that lay on the bed looked up and gasped at the figure standing in the closed doorway. The two simply stared at each other across Mystia's room, the very one her mother had been killed in.
"Who... Who are you?"
"Twilight. Twilight Sparkle." She kept a solemn expression as Mystia's jaw dropped at the mention of her brother's surname. "Second most faithful student of Celestia." Mystia stood from the bed and neared Twilight. She stood half a head taller than Twilight, yet she still seemed to be younger than Twilight.
"Sparkle... You're related to Delphian then. How long..."
"Can't say exactly. Maybe 1,000 years. At least that." Mystia nodded in understanding, then turned back to her bed.
"Been laying in that bed just waiting... I don't know what for. When I sent that book to Equestria, I sacrificed all of my, and Delphian's energy. I'm barely able to even lift a book." Twilight looked around at the organized room around her. The organization put even hers to shame.
"Must have been terrible... I'm so sorry."
"Don't be. Time doesn't pass like it does on Equestria. Sure, I feel like I've been here for so long, but... It feels like ten years at max. Plus, I'm able to speak to my mother from time to time." Mystia looked down at the rug on the floor, where her mother had died at. "Did Celestia send you?"
"Yes." The two stared at each other in silence once more, almost as if they were having a telepathic conversation.
"So I haven't been forgotten..."
"Of course not." Twilight stepped forward and hugged Mystia, who quickly returned the embrace. Twilight remembered finally the final part of the note that had been at the end of the message from Celestia. There was a reason she kept saying she loved Twilight like a daughter... It never was meant for her, but rather meant to make her remember.
"Did she say anything?" Twilight began to feel the tears threatening to soak her eyes for the umpteenth time as the final message to Mystia came to her.
"Mystia, my most faithful student..." As she spoke, she could hear Celestia in her mind, reciting the very same thing while crying. "No, my most beloved student. You've brought me joy beyond anything in this world could ever give. Ever since that night, I knew you would grow up to be something special. Every day, I stare at that book and wonder if I could just open it and out you'd come.
"So many years I've went without you, not having you by my side... The truth of the matter is, I'm lost without having somepony to take care of. It pains me to know that I'll undoubtedly outlive anything that I take under my wing, but if I can have a bit of happiness for just a little while... Then you came along, showed me that something can be more than just a student to me.
"You were the first pony that I truly loved... Not the love a teacher has for a student, not the love I have for my sister... A motherly love. I watched you grow up those ten years; watched you exceed in your magical studies... Never did I imagine that one day, I'd wake up... And you'd no longer be there. When you first told me you wanted to go to the dark void, I wanted so badly to say no... but I could see it in your eyes, that determination." Tears dropped repeatedly from Twilight's eyes as the words left her mouth. No longer was she saying them, rather she was serving as a conduit for transferring Celestia's exact thought to Mystia.
"That's why I let you go. You promised me you'd be safe; promised me you'd return in perfect shape with knowledge from that world. But you never came back... I know you never thought of me as a mother, nor did i ever expect you to. i knew, deep down in my heart, you always blamed me for your mother's death. I could see it in your eyes... You resented me, but you loved me.
"I don't know if you'll ever forgive me for what happened, nor do I know if you'll ever look at me the same way I look at you. I never wanted to lose you, Mystia... Please know, no matter what happens, I'll be with you... I'll be with you. Even if this letter never reaches you, I'm writing it to ease my own conscious. Never got to properly say goodbye... To tell you I love you.
"I love you more than my own life. And the only thing I did was hurt you... That night, it could have easily been avoided. I'd never have met you, but at least you'd still have a family. A family that I'd never be able to provide." Twilight released herself from their hug as she allowed the final words to slip from her lips. "I love you, my dearest daughter."
"I never hated her... I hated myself. She did so much for me, yet I never did anything in return."
"You can tell her yourself." Mystia perked up and looked at Twilight, who had cleared the tears from her eyes.
"What?"
"I didn't come here just to deliver a message... I came to bring you back."
"You think I haven't tried? My magic isn't strong enough and only somepony directly related to me could... send me... back..."
"Your brother told me to get you out."
"You... spoke to him?"
"Yes."
"No way you could possibly have enough magical energy to move me back to Equestria. You probably have just enough for yourself, so please... My life ended the moment I came here, but you still have a lot of life to live."
"I'm the one with the magic here... In the darkness, lies bright hope."
"Please, stop! I beg you, teleport yourself back!" Twilight took a single step forward, her horn beginning to glow a brilliant bright white.
"In my dreams, lies everlasting life."
"Don't do this!" Mystia backed away from the mare as she advanced, falling backwards onto her bed.
"Love breaks through, shines new hope."
"Celestia, please stop her! I'm not worth it!"
"Sun warms all, moon cools ever-long."
"Twilight, don't do this." Twilight sighed, knowing that she had to.
"A new life granted... for the one I love." Twilight touched her horn to the mare, who was still begging her to stop.
"Dammit, bring yourself back! Celestia, Luna, Delphian! Somepony stop her... I want to leave, but not at the cost of another mare being trapped here!"
"Live your life for both of us, Mystia... Goodbye." Mystia frantically looked down at her hooves as they turned a blinding white. She knew that she would soon be out of this dreadful world, but at what cost? As she slowly faded away, the only thing she could think force itself out of her mouth.
"Thank you." Twilight closed her eyes as Mystia exploded into a blinding flash of light. When she re-opened them, she found herself lying in her bed back in her library, Mystia nowhere to be found.
"I said I wouldn't fail... But I couldn't keep my promise." She stood from the bed and neared the window. A quick movement of her hoof pushed the curtains away from window. "Never forget me." Her eyes reflected the view from outside of the window as she stared out. She expected herself to be sad, but all she could do was smile as she looked out the window, only one thing outside of it.
The Dark Void.
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You left Twilight in the void?!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
I like the story, but that's cruel to us readers...
Meh, sequel will make up for it in any case.
2218732 I only did it because there is a lot left to be done there... There's a reason the main title of the stories is Revelations.
2218759 I know, but it still makes me sad...
That is the Twilight we all know and love. She made a decision and followed through. Go Twily!
2218859 Glad I captured her personality!
Damn...
"There hath no greater love, that a mare shall lay down her life for another." The Book of Equestria, Mystia 16:36
2218732 Yes, I too am upset that Twilight had to sacrifice herself, so that Mystia may be free.
wow.....ok backing up, the pacing seemed to shift somewhere. It went somewhat faster as time went on, but still nice idea....onto the sequel
[quoteHer mind urged her to say the words, he heart saying no. ]You missed a R in the second "her": Also Great story. Going to Favorite the next story right now.
As I feared.......Twilight sacrificed herself so that another may live. That hit home, man. I am so dang sad right now. A sad, but fitting ending. But, all the same, congrats on finishing this amazing story. I am very glad I decided to click on it, and stay with it.
AAAARRRHGHGHGHGHAAAAWWWWWWWWAAAAAHHHHH
2219057 Yeah, that was a little my fault. Originally didn't plan for such a deep story, but yeah, things happened.
2219189 And I'm incredibly glad that you decided to stick with it as well!
2219078 Knew there'd be a pesky error in there somewhere.
2219003 No need to be upset! Revelations: Twilight to Darkness is going to be as good, if not better than this one. Plus, we're back to the original goal of Twilight trying to get back home! Plus, that cover for the new story was just begging to be used.
AHHHHH! she better freaking escape by the end of the next one or i am SO going broken pinkie pie promise crazy on you!
on a side note, you are a very good writer.
2219567 Thank you, that means a lot!
2219599
your very welcome.
I kind of suspected this ending, tragic, but true. I wonder if Twilight got a bit jealous when she said "Celestia's second most faithful student."
Anyways, this is one of those fics with very short chapters but with amazing plot!
2219628 I aim to make the chapters of the sequel longer, with the exception of the first one.
2219318
It was still good, but now plan before. You have some great potential with the tension between Twilight's friends and Celestia (she has to face them eventually especially based on how it turned out) and the guild of the new student of top of everyone's anxiety to get Twilight back in addition to whatever Twilight is going through and that's not to mention her family's reactions......take your time, heck I'll help if you want there is crazy potential here.....happy writing
2218732 I'm glad he kept that plot point straight.
Awesome ending, couldn't get any better and now the Sequel YAY! Also I noticed one dislike yet can't see the red bar, take that dislike!!!
2238616 Yep, royal security at it's best! Actually, those two parts were written about three days apart, which explains the horribly terrible plot hole.
You are a horrible person, leaving Twilight out there.
Based on the events of this, not dealing with the other, Celestia is deluded. Evidently you can put as many ponies in as you like, but it's real hard to get back out.
2254685 Yes, I'm a terrible person! But there is a sequel for a reason. And yes, Celestia is quite deluded... Very, very deluded.
Wow. I'm really conflicted on this one. I have no problem with dark endings, but damn this is a rough one. Now that I see you're following it up, that makes me less uncomfortable with it, but as a standalone story there is just no light at the end of the tunnel.
Part of what makes it so oppressive is that Twilight's motivation feels under-explored. I mean, it's not against her character and there are certainly reasons given for why she was willing to sacrifice herself, but it just felt like that aspect of the story needed more development. Is her primary motivation her love for Celestia? Is it because of the strange empathic bond she seems to have formed with Mystia?
I almost think we needed to see Twilight struggle more with her decision. To weigh whatever reasons she has for saving Mystia against the horrible pain she will be causing her friends, family and herself. Something to clearly say to the reader "Twilight has to do this, for these reasons and even though it's a terrible choice, she's come to be at peace with it and you can be too because you can identify with her and understand why she felt it was necessary."
On a more technical note, there are several places throughout the story where the tense changes from past to present and then back again, sometimes within the space of a couple of paragraphs. It's a common grammatical error, but one that can really jolt the reader out of the story.
I've been clicking back and forth between thumbs up and down, trying to decide how I really feel about this story. Overall, I liked the theme and though I did not like the way it ended, it's interesting enough that I think I'll probably leave it as an up-vote.
2273964 That's quite a bit of insight. I tried multiple times to make it seem like she was struggling with the choice, but it kept seeming out of place. I can say that her motivation was both because of the bond between her and Mystia, as well as her love for Celestia.
As for the past to present tense switching, I went this entire story without and editor or pre-reader, nor did I really go over it myself. Thank you for such an insightful comment, as it will make me try a bit harder for the sequel.
2276471 Sorry, no idea on any psycho murderer stories.
But I'm happy you enjoyed this!
It's a very cool story.
But Twi here sure did something she shouldn't have. And Celestia is to blame
strangely*?
2591432 Holy mustache of Luna, so many errors. Thanks for pointing them all out! If you don't mind me asking, are you available for editing services? I've already got one that's great at his job, (he started long after I finished this) but the more the better. If not, I still appreciate having my insane amount of errors pointed out!
2593517
You forgot to capitalize two 'I's in Celestia's message.
This is just beautiful! And that ending
3142537 Haha, all good. I found quite a few murders fics. Shame most of them are crap
Awwwwww... That's kinda sad. Good job! You have inspired "the feels".
THE FEELS
You...you bastard.
You magnificent bastard.
You killed her...
And no, I am NOT crying....this is liquid pride
Wow, this felt a lot like Alan Wake. Inspiration maybe?