• Member Since 15th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen Dec 31st, 2020

Foxtrot


E

Night Mare Moon was defeated but the force of darkness which possessed her endures. Years later a voice calls to Twilight in the dark. And she listens...

A dark adventure story in which Twilight Sparkle is forced to confront the most terrible enemy; the darkness inside herself.

Foxtrot XXX

Chapters (9)
Comments ( 41 )

this seems pretty cool, ima track it

494391

8 more chapters after this

shining armor should be in this story to be honest he is twilights brotehr and captain of the guard both would play a big part in this story

Haha, litterally just started tracking the first story and saw I instantly had a new notification. Awesome! :rainbowkiss:

505883

he didn't turn up for the entirety of season 1 and most of season 2, I figure he doesn't need to appear for my little ponyfic :twilightsmile:

506862

Is Twilight not important enough to be specifically listed so that people looking for stories about her will have it listed?

Also saying Celestia sent Luna to the moon is silly; the Elements did as all indications are they choose the effect. Just something that annoys me when it comes up. (And Luna would know this, having used the Elements with Celestia)

506862 still would be great for the plot but if you couldnt tell i was makeing a suggestion not a demand

508792

all suggestions gratefully received

hmm heres my prediction rareitys going to say something on the lines of we were to concerned about our own problems to see twilight had her own i hope to see befor thursday but that may be a bit much to hope for ok it is

521407

you predict correctly :twilightsmile: bear in mind it is the Dark manipulating everybody by attacking them through their vulnerabilities, only they can't see it.

No new updates for at least a week sadly, I'm off to the States for my holidays

Foxtrot XXX

WHY IS THERE NO ME GUSTA EMOTE!!!:twilightblush:

I can't quite figure out if I'm supposed to feel sorry for Celestia.
Because I don't. I have allways seen Celestia as arrogant and with complete disregard for others. A royal ass.

Hm.... Eeyup. We're screwed.

573534

A little of both, maybe.

In the context of the story my version of Celestia feels constrained in what she is able to do by her position as the guardian of Equestria

Fox XXX

I was not expecting her to get banished to the moon :derpyderp1:

i was worried you were going to end this fast (typing with a dog on your writing hand sucks)

580302

4 more chapters after this one

I've typed with a cat on my arm, never a dog :twilightsmile:

i just noticed this but the focus point of light in the picture isnt around the light source and the shadows are reaching near the wick

580376

yeah I kind of did it in a hurry

Nooooooooo! There aren't suppose to be any cliffs on the moon! :twilightangry2:

Need to know what happens!

586207 umm craters on the moon if you were in one it could have cliffs depending on how steep it is

587859

I think he meant cliffhangers, for a joke. :twilightsmile:

589838:facehoof: i need to stop staying for days on end lol

ooh at first i was like:raritycry::raritydespair:
then i was like:rainbowdetermined2:

Damn it. Not Trixie... :facehoof:

It's like... every time I manage to find and follow a good Twilight grimdark story, which has to be, like, my favorite kind, that worst pony always, ALWAYS has to show up somewhere in the middle and ruin the whole freaking story. God I hate her.

Anyway, besides that, I've been following this story for a while now and it's pretty good. I urge you to continue, even if you don't violently kill off Trixie asap. But it would be nice if you did... :pinkiecrazy:

613198

I was aware that the appearance of The Horned One might not meet with universal approval. However for what I needed in the story at this point, she was the best choice.

Anyway thanks for reading and I'm glad you've enjoyed the story thus far (with one exception)

Foxtrot XXX

CDR

It kinda sounds complete. It says complete. But I'm not sure if it feels complete.

Great story anyway. Keep up the awesome writing.

aww i was hoping f twi to have a dual personality with the shadow maybe even as close with it as she did with the nightmare in the story a quiet place before the march rewrites. anyway good story and like cdr said feels kinda incomplete . also cheers.:twilightsmile:

what could possibly go wrong...........:pinkiecrazy:

hmmmm, this has got to ba a set up......also very reminiscent of lesson zero......oh my:twilightoops::twilightoops::twilightoops:

1647394

characters making the wrong choices for what seem to them to be the right reasons is the essence of drama ;)

I came here after reading Nightflower. I like your writing generally, there's just one thing:
The quoting using '.
This doesn't work, because ' are already used in words.. it makes utterances like this:

'Tia can't know!'

-particularly- difficult to read.
I didn't realize exactly how big of a difference double quoting makes until I see what it's like without it.
Even when apostrophes are not used within the quoted text, double quotes are much easier to spot than single quotes.

1656845
single quotes are almost always used in British English. I use them because to my eyes double quotes look wierd

A very nice story. I like it. :twilightsmile:

Why can't the bad guy win for once? :pinkiecrazy:

It was still a good book nonetheless :twilightsmile:

Pinkie Pie. Think of her as the spirit of madness.

Now that I can imagine.

Fluttershy. She would make the world into her torture chamber.

Now that I can also imagine.

My only issue here is the use of the word "infants", the school house is filled with foals who are most certainly not infants. As the word infant comes from the word infans meaning "speechless". So it is generally used for 1 month to 2 years of age depending on where in the world you are currently.

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