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  • T Long Road to Friendship

    As punishment for her crimes, the Elements have cursed Sunset Shimmer to do favors for anyone who asks. Lucky her. And then there's that other Twilight Sparkle she keeps running into...
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  • E Button Mash Isn't Dead

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Blog Posts62

  • Sunday
    One Year Down the Road

    29 comments · 273 views
  • 6w, 5d
    Finally!

    I finally saw it! The night after I post the newest chapter of LRtF, my good editor Nomad was able to send me a pretty high quality rip of Rainbow Rocks!

    What did I think?

    You'll know soon enough.

    39 comments · 379 views
  • 8w, 5d
    Still Canon

    ...For the next twelve hours.

    After that, screw continuity! Hahahahahaahaha!


    Remember: no spoilers please. The author won't be able to see the movie until it's ripped onto youtube. And since he's spoiled prat, he won't watch it until it's the good quality, not the trembling hand cameras with the broken sound.

    ...Still canon.

    35 comments · 491 views
  • 13w, 3d
    Tit for Tat

    12 comments · 306 views
  • ...
 552
 21,138
Source

The wheel of time turns, as destiny and history clash together.

Fifty years into the future, Sunset Shimmer is Princess Twilight Sparkle's most faithful student. She is smart and eager, but doesn't always think things through. Her life had been perfect, right up to the End of the World.

With a ruined future, Sunset travels into the past to alter the course of history. With only her mentor's cryptic word to go on, Sunset and the Elements of Harmony must solve the riddle of the Dark Regalia and stop the mysterious Vesper Radiance from rising to power. But the further Sunset goes, the more she feels like she's been through it all before.  

Is destiny set in stone, or can Sunset shape her own future? Only time will tell.

Featured on Equestria Daily 6/16/13

Gratefully edited by JustAnotherTimeLord, Icarus_Gizmo and Cerulean Voice

First Published
30th Mar 2013
Last Modified
11th Nov 2014

You're off to a good start so far with this story, just be sure to use this little momentum you've got built up to do with the story as you rightfully have in mind for it.

I sense a little Robert Jordan influence here.  This could be one heck of a trip.  Judging from the start, this story has all kinds of potential.

Sure, she was powerful, Twilight called her “one of the most powerful unicorns of our time” almost on a daily basis.

That quote makes me worry about Mary Sue potential. Still, good start. Added to Twilight's Library.

That is a dramatic way to stat a story. I wonder what happens next :flutterrage:

Nicely written

Very interesting so far with great pace

The only flaw i see in this is that you lack just a bit of thought in dialogue. For example, the scene where Sunset tells twilight the truth, i felt it was rushed a bit.

However, im loving the story. :twilightsmile: keep up the good work dawg

The mare had been completely polite as she gave Sunset instructions, another difference from the ponies of Canterlot, who would tell a give a pony directions like it was the last thing in the world they wanted to be doing.

I'd suggest fixing that.

>>2359121 Oopsies. Thanks for catching that.

This review was brought to you by Authors Helping Authors

Sunset of Time

Grammar: 9/10 - The grammar is well done, the only minor mistakes are involving the said tags. Nothing that is much of an issue, hardly noticeable in fact.

Pros: The story idea is great and rather new. The idea of time-travel has been used before but with the way you are going now means that you have many doors open to use and to make this fic really stand out. Sunset is a rather solid character and has some good depth to her. Also the descriptions in the first chapter were well done and the pacing seemed good.

Cons: For some reason and I can't exactly explain (truly sorry) but the canon characters seem slightly forced. Not as in the OOC sort of way but more in the kinda over the top. Celestia's forgiveness of Sunset's crimes seems to be one of those moments, as well as Twilight not going insane about Sunset being from the future (if you are writing as though she has matured from this previous mentality then forget that statement).

Notes:  It is a good story overall and has a good plot but I must warn you to be careful with how the time travel works and integrating Sunset in the past. Many authors tend to screw up on time travel stories for they make basic mistakes involving the rules of time. This is not an issue now so don't fret on it. Thank you for reviewing my story, A Damaged Sister, and good luck with Sunset of Time. I will be following it.:twilightsmile:

>>2363454 Thank you for the review, you're input means a lot. :twilightsheepish:Likewise, I look forward to more of your story!

This review was brought to you by Authors Helping Authors

Sunset of Time

Grammar: 9/10 - I thought the grammar was generally pretty spot on, with only a few mistakes involving commas and the dialogue.

Pros: The idea for this story is one that isn't often seen in the pony fandom, at least not by me, and the beginning sets up some interesting mysteries around the villain and what exactly happened in 'the present' to start off these problems. Having an OC as the main character was a gutsy choice, but one that I feel has paid off: Sunset Shimmer has just enough touches which make her reminiscent of our Twilight to make it fun, but is still a distinct character in her own right. There is also the issue of this voice in Sunset's head which is intriguing.

Cons: The business of Sunset fearing to trust Celestia worries me. This is a somewhat personal gripe but I dislike the twisting of benevolent of mentor figures into something darker for fanfiction, especially when Celestia was so very nice to her - though this makes me hopeful that the voice in Sunset Shimmer's head is some taint from the evil that was destroying the future.

Notes:  This is a good start and a fantastic description of the destruction of Equestria in chapter 1, amazing. Other than a couple of punctuation issues your grammar is good, and Sunset is convincing as a character able to carry the story, while Twilight is a little more restrained than canon while retaining her intelligence and all the other virtues we love her for.

I will be favouriting this story and look forward to seeing you introduce the rest of the canon cast and unravel the mystery.

Thank you for your review on Vengeance of Dawn

>>2363929 Thank you for the review, I really appreciate it. Good luck with Vengeance of Dawn. I won't spoil anything, but our stories might have some things in common.:raritywink:

Well wow, that certainly got my attention. A magnificent way to start a new story, especially with a character I would love to see development on. Definitely wondering what the Dark Regalia is and how the Alicorn Amulet plays into the story. Can't wait to read more!

>>2348865 Princess Celestia said that about Twilight as well. No normal fillies get princess instruction.

Cracks and fissure continued to rip open all across the city, swallowing ponies and entire buildings into a bottomless maw.

Understandable. You have so many cracks, wouldn't want to go overboard with those fissures.

Insta-favorited! This needs to be featured!!

Dere eet ees! The big mystery! (other than trying to save the world, that is.)

Is it the same Sunset Shimmer, sent back further in time, or are there other shenanigans afoot?

WHAT IS GOING ON?!  You my friend are playing with a very dangerous and fragile thing, time... I hope you know what you're doing... :twilightsheepish:

I am loving this, really well done.

>>2444772 Truth be told, i'm just smashing my face against the keyboard and making words.

Seems to be working so far...

>>2444810 and we all know that that is the best way to do everything.  I really am enjoying the jumbling of time while still following a coherent path, I just can't wait to see how it plays out... one can only speculate so much. *grabs popcorn and patiently waits for next chapter :raritywink:*

At the very least, we know future Twilight perfectioned the time travel spell enought at  least to maintain Sunset Shimmer in the past for more than a minute. I believe Twi should had more in her mind than to save her faithful student from death, so maybe the timeline is not recurrent, or Sunset´s actions can create a new alternate timeline instead of merely "putting wheels into motion".

In any case, Sunset has not option at this point but to try as hard as she can.

...I don't really know what to say about this other than GET THE NEXT CHAPTER OUT.

>>2442875

Well, Albinocorn and I are working on getting it to Equestria Daily, actually. The gears are in motion and he should be putting it in sometime soon. So, when that happens, it should be hitting the feature box then.

I am his editor, by the by. Nice to meet you! :pinkiehappy:

And then Sunset Shimmer was Clara Oswin Oswald. :derpytongue2:

...Carry on.

This review was brought to you by Authors Helping Authors member Hoof of Approval

Sunset of Time

Grammar: 9/10 - Near flawless. You have an excellent command of the English language. I agree with the reviewer above in the fact that it could use a few less said tags. I blatantly avoided those in my story, so I can't help but notice them in this one. A slight nit pick though, doesn't take away from my enjoyment of this.

Pros: A vibrant and well done story, considering how overdone time travel is. It would be a shame to waste this opportunity to build on the mechanics you've set up, so exploit it to the fullest! The opening of the first chapter is visceral, almost brutal. It grips you, forces you into the seat, straps you down, and makes you watch as everything ends. Brilliant way to set the tone! I love it when things start in medias res, and this seems like it's starting that way, so bravo.

Cons: Stuff like this. It bugs me.

All of the parks, shops, museums, restaurants, and even a great number of homes were buried under ash and brimstone.

I dunno about you, but I would write it like this:

She scanned the ruined skyline in an attempt to find anything recognizable, even as it fell apart. Ash and brimstone dominated the landscape as far as the eye could see. It swallowed buildings whole, defecated the museums and parks, and choked the life out of the city.

This. This right here does not make the end of the world a mere event. It turns it into a living, breathing monster that nopony can fight or run away from. Just writing this sent chills up my spine. Look for other sentences to improve in this fashion.

Notes:  I'd love everypony here to review and comment on Pony Grand Tour. It only has one chapter, but I've heard it's a good start and has a good premise. Since you all have such good taste, perhaps you'd like more of the same from an equally talented writer. Just saying!

On that note, thank you good sir for reviewing my story, and good luck on yours!

I just saw the Equestria girls trailer.

Suffice to say that your Sunset is the superior Sunset Shimmer.

By a country mile.

And a half.

That is all.

Carry on.

Odd how this hasn't received more votes, it's pretty good. Keep up the good work.

Not bad. I would caution messing too much with pre-canon stuff as that will quickly land you in AU territory and require a lot of explaining to fit without being contrived.

Also, quit it with the lavender unicorn syndrome (e.g "The orange mare sighed"). It's far too distracting for something that's shaping up to be a rather interesting story.

Good luck!

Any speculation on when the next chapter might be, I ran out of popcorn a long time ago but am still patient, albeit a little concerned.  I really do hope this fic doesn't just die.

>>2684102 Don't worry, it's faaaaar from dead. We're just working on submitting it to EQD, which should be very soon. I'm trying to beat Equestria Girls to the punch. Once that happens, chapter 4 should be out fairly soon. Sorry for making you wait so long.

>>2685430 Is okay.  I know EQD is a long process and they can be tough.  Here's hoping they approve it.

I am really enjoying the story.  I think its great.  You have something going here and I  hope to see it concluded.  Definatly a fan.  

Dunno about you guys, but I got a Madoka vibe going on here.

I just heard! Equestria Daily! Congratulations! Now all you have to do is submit Primoris Concordia: Mingling Worlds there and you'll be complete. By the way, do you think it'll be difficult writing both fics at the same time?

Oh look, another awesome story from an awesome author. Honestly, I just want to know why Discord isn't doing anything about this.

Wait, what? On the Equestria Daily post, Seth has a tag saying that Sunset Shimmer is the best pony:rainbowhuh:. Seth? Not saying :trixieshiftright: is best pony? :pinkiegasp::derpyderp2: WHAT IS HAPPENING! THIS DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!

This could be good. This could be bad.

I just don't know what went wrong. :derpytongue2:

dtlux1

>>2733584 :rainbowlaugh: Ha, ha. No, Seth didn't put that. On the submission page they ask you to put five words that best describe your story. Guess what mine were.  

>>2733755 shh... I know that, don't tell the other peoples.Be as quiet as :pinkiecrazy:... On second thought, be the exact opposite of that pony. She is loud. And crazy.

dtlux1

>>2733755 Were they, "I want to eat books."?

Good news: You have my attention enough to go on my read later list.

Bad news: My read later list is hell ass balls long.

This got my attention enough to Fav and read right away. Pretty good, always a sucker for time travel stories :twilightblush:

Just noticed that this was all uploaded in Apr. This needs to go to the front page.

Your story is SOOOOOO outstandingly AMAZINGLY WONDERFULLLLLLL!!! I only read the first chapter so far and Im like, MUST READ MORE!!! :heart:

This story is fantastic so far, looking eagerly forward to much, much more!

Also, the short description might need a bit of editing.

Sunset Shimmer, Princess Twilight Sparkle's most faithful student. After bearing witness to the End of the World, she travels back in time to destroy the Dark Regalia and save her future. But a ghost from the past has other palns...

Though I hear ghosts of the past are quite fond of a good paln now and again.

>>2743354 :rainbowlaugh: Thank you for catching that.

>>2743508

No problem, thank you for leading this fantastic tale out of the depths of your mind and onto the internet where it can be seen and drooled over by all!

So, now that I've been engulfed by this awesome story, I note that the last chapter came out eight weeks ago. But it appeared on EqD a few days ago. :rainbowhuh:

So, will this be updating... updating?

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