• Member Since 11th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen April 5th

Obscure


Comments ( 41 )

Twilestia? Well... I suppose I'll be forced to read this...

Was the sex actually necessary? I'm pretty sure the story would have worked just as good without that part.:trixieshiftright:

I bashed my head on my computer room wall nonstop after I read this. then I grabbed a frying pan and that did the trick. :ajbemused: then I accidentally read this again.

As a lover of dialog over description, this is actually pretty nice, though any longer and it would probably be too barren. I kind of like this thought, of Twilight being hung up like that, deviating like that. It's confusing and concrete, with Spike's awkward understanding it just makes it a short, nice vignette of a bleak nature. I like it, simple as it is.

I am so not understanding the dislikes on this. It's a perfect little short scene that carries a whole lot of emotion. Twi's longing and frustration come through very well. There's a wonderful contrast between Celestia/Twilight and Twilight/Spike. The language is beautifully descriptive. It's great.

Just fix these mistakes:
“When your older.” -> "you're"
"Well, I suppose you where brought up around ponies." -> "were"
"When your older, and if you still" -> "you're"

this is making me want to read twispike

And then they drowned in awkwardness:facehoof:

1877990 this. Also, I don't think Celestia would call the guards out on Twilight. You never know though.

1884073
Perhaps there was a reason she could no longer face Twilight.

1884124 Clopfics with character depths? :duck::unsuresweetie::trixieshiftright: you have my attention sir.

This needs to be continued!!:raritydespair: It's great and while on its own it is great, there is no if or buts about it, I cannot but want this to continute not even with actual plot. What are the repercussion with Twilights words to Spike? Did Spike have feelings for Twilight, I'm grabbing at straws, with that confession? Why did Celestia call the guard on Twilight? Celestia's a bad ass she could easily take Twilight out herself. Can't help but ask. Sequal please?:fluttercry:

You earned yourself a watcher with this little piece of fanfiction.

A sequel would be great, but maybe you could do a chapter showing us Celestias side.

WOW!
MOLESTIA! I like you princess! :pinkiecrazy:

Damn, this is seriously very impressive. I dislike Twilight /Celestia a lot but you do have my favorite pairing ever. So I'm 100 percent down for this story, you have my full attention and support :ajsmug:

1879059 Best pairing ever :twilightsmile:in my opinion

I was content with the first chapter as it was. So beautiful and sad all at the same time. Then I saw this. Oh man. This is so wonderful. You're making me cry. :fluttercry::raritycry: Just so tragic and beautiful. Wow.

She very much does indeed, she deserves Spike:twilightsmile: It must be so tragic being a Goddess and falling for a mortal...how tragic indeed:fluttercry: Though I'm not one for this pairing yet strangely I have nothing against Celestia and Luna love, how odd:applejackunsure: Seriously though, when will the Gods learn never to fall for a mortal?:pinkiesad2: One or two errors, all in all not bad one bit, a 8/10:yay:

It was aight. Bit confusing 'sall I can negatively fault it fer.

I am not a deep man, I am not an emotional man, I am not even a zealous man but for who ever should read this know that manly tears where shed, for this is beautiful, for this is powerful, for this here is true love.
Great update, little miffed it took a month to update though what can I do. There were a lot of details I myself would have never thought up tiny little inconspicuous things, and that makes all the difference.
Please don't take as long!:fluttercry:

2018352 when they stop working with the ever changing mortals.if Celestia and Luna leave Equestria to it's own devices and just abandon the pony's in general they will never have to worry about falling in love with a mortal. Or they could just deem all mortals unworthy of their intimate affections thereby over time becoming heartless pseudo tyrants that could only care about themselves and each other if only minorly.

just two Ideas on how that could be done. other than that the mortals will see their lack in companion and either empathize or try and take advantage of it, it is extremely predictable and those that would make it through the goddesses shell are always the lucky few.

I honestly hope there is a third chapter having Celestia go back to twilight. I really hope their is. because Twi really deserves it, especially after the crap she's gone through. but if she doesn't soon then she'll have to deal with the consequences of her actions in the form of twilight and spike being together and for the most part abandoning her.

2019328 You make a seriously valid point, then again if they did leave their kingdom and stopped being worshipped they would have faded, so they can euther love their subjects or control them with an iron hoof as most Gods do....talk about switched personilties:derpytongue2:

2019541 Got to be so hard being a God sometime, mortal will blame you for everything and expect nothing but perfect, don't know how the Gods of Equestria do it:applejackunsure::facehoof:

2019567 simple they appreciate the mortals that actually take the time to understand and love them, the ones that actually truly worship them for them. with those that they care about in the mix with those they despise it is hard to actually hate the population or let it fall as a whole. that is the biggest reason I think that they do not abandon the mortals under their pseudo charge.:twilightsmile:

nononononono
don't do this
noooooooo
:raritycry::fluttershbad::pinkiesad2::fluttercry::raritydespair:

2020358 Shit, I honestly never thought of that....wow, makes me want to read or write a story about the Gods:twilightsmile:

The IDEA is nice, and I love the attempt at a tragic thematic parallel. But the characterization is just a bit... off, in the rather specific ways that romantic-themed fanfics so often are. I don't think Spike would ask that question of Twilight - or if he would, it would be blurted out by accident, not so calmly and deliberately like that. He's self-conscious enough to understand how WEIRD that is. Likewise, Celestia's reaction seems a bit too coldhearted from a character who's always defined by her nearly perpetual mildness. Of course, you would expect her to handle the situation like a responsible adult figure, but not by temporarily banishing the poor girl - that's a bit overly harsh and dramatic for the situation.

The execution overall lacks a needed subtlety, even if the basic structure is a solid one. I did enjoy reading it, but these problems jumped out at me as I read, and I thought might go some way into explaining why there's significant number of thumbs down.

2248286
A very well thought out analysis. And not just because you flatter me.

Spike's Idle speculation does come out of left field but I felt it was required in order to generate the mirror. Celestia's response was less her acting as a responsible adult but as a vulnerable creature moving to protect her self.

Hmm, this was certainly interesting.

An interesting start to a story, but the "complete" tag is a blatant lie.

Riz

2248783
So what is this fic about again ? If this is a TwiSpike but why is there a Twilestia part ?

1884124 Yo obscure! Let me know if I got it right when I say that the reason for Cel. Being so cold hearted is because she herself has been haboring feelings for Twilight and feels guilty about them and feels like she is taking advantage of her student so in an effort to stop herself decided to try and remove as much temptation as possible for herself... so... did I get it right? :raritystarry:

2019328
2019567
2248783
Both Inferno and Xaldon have brought ver valid points cudos to you two! However! It seems that once again it has been forgotten that Twilight herself becomes an Alicorn. With that thought in mind Obscure can have it that Candesa (or however you spell her damn name) suggests to Celestia that Twilight has shown many princess like qualities and should give her the test (the same one as in the show or one of your own design). And uppon twilight passing the test and becoming an alicorn Celestia won't have to worry about some of the reperations that she fears, after all if it's alright with Candesa marrying Shining Armor then what is wrong with Celestia marrying a full grown, independent, and beautiful mare? :trixieshiftright:

4963923 For herself and for Twilight.

Only word comes to mind to express how I feel. Just damn. Damn denied love

A very well crafted story. One of the best I've read on this site. I'm quite surprised by the proportion of negative votes.

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