- Member Since 11th Apr, 2012
- offline last seen April 5th
Obscure
Starting a thing: https://subscribestar.adult/obscureproductions
Obscure
Joined 11th Apr, 2012 ·
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Well, that ending sure was surprising.
Also: first! ;P
This is the "Little Dashie" of clopfiction and I love it.
Not bad. I had guessed there's something will happen when I read the first paragraph. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Rainbow_Dash_lolface.png
Did not see that coming.
images.icanhascheezburger.com/completestore/2009/3/8/128810486826462699.jpg
It wasn't really doing anything for me at first - not because it was badly written, but just, you know, not my thing - but the payoff was totally worth it.
Changeling? Didn't seen that one coming... Good story, I almost heard insects crawling. Clever plan...
Well played.
Admittedly, I am of the opinion that your fic would have had more impact without the last sentence prior to the scene break. Ending with 'disguise' and then scene breaking to the next brony would have forced the reader to process the implication, and that's usually a better way of immersing the reader in events, especially grim events, than explicitly giving away the result. There's the added bonus in horror of people usually assuming the worst to their own personal perception; the reader is always better at disturbing himself than you are at disturbing him.
Been a long time since I've seen your stuff, not since I was still active in WTG. Good to see you're still writing, and still have those interesting concepts going.
I really should have expected something like that. It was going far too well.
ts3.mm.bing.net/images/thumbnail.aspx?q=4889623245030318&id=2cd45e8ed5f28bf8277a31b28a32e832&url=http%3a%2f%2fi3.photobucket.com%2falbums%2fy68%2fn1zz3r%2fClayDavis.jpg
'sall I can say.
543288
I've been playing changelings as not inherently sinister, so I kinda felt the need to show. Anyway, glad to see you around.
543293
Yes, always be suspicious when a woman tries to get into your pants less then a minute after saying hello. Almost always a bad sign.
542717
Yeah, everyone gets their favorite pony this way.
vaj-pwjfa.net46.net/Casos/Otras%20cosas/what_a_twist.jpg
543629
Not "My Little Dashie"
"Little Dashie"
It's a completely different, horrific thing.
HOLY SHAT A CHANGELING
no offense, but i downloaded it then changed the ending, its amazing yes but the bitter end was just not my kind of thing....
Yeah, the twist wasn't unexpected at all. But I think this is because the dark tag screamed at me.
I mean, have you ever glanced at Romance Reports? Now that is a clopfiction. Yours simply state "they fucked" and that's it. There's nothing else to it.
Not to mention bestiality, something I'm against, but I digress; I don't have the right to tell you if it's wrong or right.
Directed by M. Night Shyamalamadingdong!
547349
Romance Reports is good because it shows the lead up and the after math of sex.
Here there is no aftermath and the lead up is purposefully clipped.
Also, why you compare my little one shot to the greatest piece of clop fiction in the fandom?
Best. Death. Ever.
549192 I'm not talking about the non-cloppy scenes in Romance Reports. The clop parts alone of that fanfic are very well written. And this is why I compare it.
Good god, my empathy powers are going critical. I just saw vivid images of the mass grave, and I almost threw up a bit
A good story, but pretty horrifying.
HELLO!!
Did not see that coming.
my thought process:
ok he's in equestria.
first pony he meets is pinkie? that cant be good...
she wants WHAT?!
oh... thats hot...
ROFL
wait a changeling...?
FFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
I guess you can say he... went out with a bang!
My name is Jack.... And now I'm scared
I don't think I get it
543629
If I may say, I agree with your decision here, as the story gives little reason to suspect malicious intent. I might otherwise have suspected the changeling would take Jack away to live together as a loving couple.
Describing Jack as now nothing more than another "corpse" quickly disabuses me of that idea.
Nice read. Thanks for sharing.
Seems legit