Twilight regrets to roughly judge pinkie due her tendingcy to be rather comical, to find out she can handle a job well if she set her mind to it, and Twilight wanted to make amends. the thing is, will her apology be taken?
i was too tired to ajust this.
based on the episode, Baby Cakes, an episode i just saw, and part where Twilight unintentionaly insults Pinkie on her baby-sitting skills, as this is a short story sequil to it.
image by johnjoseco (yes, i'm back borrowing images from him again, but in this case, it was unavoidable.)
Chapters (1)
Please run this through a spell checker. I will hold off on rating for now.
136535 i planed that after my one shot story worker finsihes working on Applebuck Retribution, that fic is in an even bigger mess.
136541
okay I am going to hold off on reading this till then then.
136541
Need a prereader?
136625 i already have editers.
The same problems from Applebuck Retribution are in this fic as well. Walls of text are galore, making this fic hard to read, the characters are OOC once more, there are grammar and spelling mistakes galore, and it's pretty hard to read. Get somepony to help you write your fics. You have good ideas, but they need a lot of help here. Don't take this as an offense please, and just get somepony to help you.
136649 trust me, i do, Sir Duke and Jomaca.
Jomaca handles the shorter fics, while Sir duke is entrusted with the more numberious chapter fics, they just need to work on what i give them first.
and how is everyone in the story out of character here?
136656 It's mostly Pinkie who is OOC. I can understand her being upset, but this just wasn't done right.
136626
Oh. You spelled editor wrong. See?
136690 sorry, i fail to pay attention sometimes.
The concept is....good..... My problem is that you obviously did not revise or take more than a day writing this. I get it, but just barely. You need to run this through a grammar, spelling, and punctuation correcter. Also, its rushed. You just skip a head to the point, leaving some things completely cut off.
147115 things like, what, exsactly? also, aren't one shot stories supposed to be short?
136535>>136625>>136649>>147115 i fixed the Paragraths.
um paragraphs not fixed yet... I just read it. You need a new paragraph after each character speaks or when it's just obvious. I would recommend not putting up on FIM Fiction until its been edited. I wrote my fanfic, which is on here(
) on microsoft word, since it has a grammer and spelling checker. I don't mind your use of editors, but please don't post it up on here before it's edited. All of that aside though, I think you got into Twilight very well, and the topic of this story is a good one. I think you also played Pinkie's part fairly well, because if you look at Party of One, Pinkie holds a grudge until apoligized to, which is what happens in this story. However, don't ever be discouraged about what people say, after all it's only constructive criticism, so I would take people's advice. Not telling you to, but if you want to look at my fic and see how I do paragraphs, you're welcome to. Also, I do have a different way to write the speaking parts: Your way: Pinkie Pie said: "Indeedy, deedy, doo"--- My way: "Indeedy, deedy doo!" Pinkie Pie said enthusiastically, bouncing up and down with joy.--- So yeah, but keep writing fics! I really do like the topic.
196454 i reverted the edits back when that last comment was made.
you see, i am in need of a new short story editer since my last one resigned himself. i posted a blog in hopes i could get a new one.
and don't get me wrong, i am not bothered by people's opinion, in fact i acknowlege that this isn't something i can't do alone. at least know i am trying though.
also, i have Microsoft word too, though sometimes i mostly get only some miss-spells and hardly any grammar issues.
197037
So you don't have an editor? I used one for the first half of my first chapter, mainly for grammical and just making the story sound better. If you would like I could recommend him to you. He's extremely good and he's even writing his own book at the moment. I'm sure he would love to be an editor.
198616 first, i need you check my blog on what i require for an editor, second, i need you to ask him if he has a polocy against Gorefics and/or Clopfics (though rare on my part, i do have one or 2 here, i mostly target Teen to Everone stories).
and it's a short story one i am without, i have Sir Duke, but i entrust him for long stories, i need someone for shorter one-shots.
198649
Alright. I'll look at the requirements and see what he thinks. I'm not sure what his stand is on the gore/clop, but i'll at least ask him.
Ok storiesatrandom, he would love to do it, and is going to get back with you this afternoon after school.
199738 great, does he go by a name on the site though?
200581
um i don't know if he has an account yet or not...i guess he'll make one. I'll have to ask him.
200683 i did not seen that coming.
200707
I didn't meet him on here. Has he gotten back to you yet?
201310 no i did not. seriously, how is this, "Mysterious friend" suppose to help me if i do not even know where to find him.
201316
On this site, mlpfimforums.forumotion.com his name is Vulpes. Maybe something came up. Idk, he told me he'd get to you this afternoon...
201504 well, he's surly taking his sweet time, isn't he?
201542
I'm not that guys keeper. Maybe something came up. Come to think of it, he hasn't been on the other site either...
201557 sorry, this is not working out, he lost me when he was from out-of-site.
my screah continues.
201570
*shrugs* okie doki loki then. I would do it, but I don't know if I could meet deadlines with my dance classes, church, and various other activities. Sorry.
201636
please, try not to make me feel bad, it's pretty hard for me as well.
201650
Don't feel bad
I'm sure you'll find someone 
201662 (sigh), i can't believe your amazing editor wasted our time like this. anyone to promises to deliver but does nothing isn't wroth having around.
201662 hey, remember that guy i rejected? well, he came to me and, call me weak and desperate but, although he ran late, i took him in as an editor and he'll start tomorrow, cause right now, i feel like chilling out, very busy day at skool.
201662 ok, now this story is in a proper setting.
We never see any interaction between Spike and the cake twins.
6463127 .... They're not relivent to the main focus of the story.