Derpy was happy with little Dinky, her adoubted little unicorn. but, a series of worring for her well being, problems with her sex life, and trouble with foal services may ruin Derpy's life. will the kindness of her love intrest Carrot Top, her friend Raindow Dash and her friends, her best friends Lyra and Bon Bon, her other and more grown up adoubted daughter Sparkler, and the rest of the Ponyvillains help Derpy in her hard time, and maybe, with divine intervention's help, get Dinky back?
i don't know who made the image, but credit will go to the mysterious artist.
in honor and in respect for Derpy, due to the sudden fiasco of the whole false offenceive thing.
to those that are nip-picky about fics, this isn't exsactly perfect, but i ask you people be NICE about it, i'm abit sensitive. i do plan to have this fic fixed soon on monday when i contact my editor or if he contacts me.
this re-edit is by Purple Thunder (not my editor, just a passing good smariton.).
if anyone wants me to continue this, say so.
You sir have absolutely deplorable grammar. Just your description has at least three typos!
God dang cliff hanger please continue
260298 i do plan to have it adjusted (the story i mean) soon by my editor. otherwise, do you think it's a nice story?
I hope you continue this. But you may want to keep the talking parts out of the paragraphs to make it a little easier to read.
260347 well, since it has an incompleted setting, it seems likely.
bwhiee o/;jsfefo;e
260298 look, i know it's not perfect, but couldn't you at least be alittle nicer? i'm abit sensitive.
at least know i'll have my editor fix it up alittle as soon as he can contact me again by monday.
260365 uh, not to sound concerned, but, what exsactly is your problem?
260368
Honestly, I can't tune it down. This is me being kind to you right now. I love fanfiction and reading, but please, for the love of Celestia, Luna, and everything else in the wide wide world of Equestria, don't submit anything until you put it through a word processor!
260386 does FIMfiction even have a word processer? otherwise, my editor's the best i got. and second, if it wasn't for my editor having a life (not i'm against it) the first thing i would of indeed done is sent the goods to him to fix, but again, i won't hear from him till monday.
look, i don't like it when people act fresh torwords me just because i am not the Leonardo De'vinti of fanfic writers, ok? i'm sorry if this isn't perfect, but at least be repectful enough to not ruin it for someone else, ok?
like i said, i am gonna get it adjusted soon by my editor in monday after skool.
so, can bygones be bygones?
I was going to read this... but a skim of the comments makes me think that maybe I shouldn't. I'm sorry, but the fact of the matter is that if the author hasn't put enough effort into the story to spell the description correctly, then as a reader I find it hard to have any confidence in the quality of the story itself.
260574 (groans), i know you people mean well, but, god, sometimes i am reminded how i sometimes hate being criticised!
Read the first paragraph. AD'AAAAAAWWWWWWWW
260783 At least your more respectable then certain others.
Read the rest of it. A'DAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
B-b-b-but..... DINKY NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Please continue.
Also, not to be offensive, but it kind of was a little bit hard to read. But it was a really nice story otherwise
260804 well, at least this fic has SOME fans, if any lovers.
so, any faverite parts, or at least, the parts that touched your heart and/or broke it?
and please, if you have nip-picks, please be nice about it.
260817 It broke my heart to see Dinky say 'What are you doing to my mommy?'
Also, would you like me to edit it for you? Trying to be helpful
260826 ok, you can edit it if you want, gives my full time editor less work to do when he does come around by monday.
260833 Cool, I'll PM the edited version to you soon
260804 see how easy it is to express your opinion without being harsh about it? well, i guess some people are more firey about fics then others, right? and yes, i do plan to continue this oviviously from the fact it has the incompleted setting.
260845 Yeah, some people can put in some constructive criticism, but some people can be hatin'. I try to put in constructive criticism.
260869 one thing though, is this gonna be a one time thing with editing? i mean, i'll understand if you do have a life outside of being an editor, but, if you could somewhat fit in your i assumed your very busy lifesytile, would you like to be a secondary editor, or at least the editor for this story? i'll understand you won't want long service and please do warn me if you would be caught with something else, but, would you like to be a secondary editor, or at least a co-writer for this story?
if not, it's understandable.
260888 I'm writing my own story, and sorry but the edited version of this story's probably going to be sent later than intended. I'm trying to write two stories at once and it's kinda hard, so sorry but I probably won't be able to edit, but I was proofread a bit for you
But I'm sorry about not being a full time editor.
260907 oh, i knew it was too good to be true.
ok.
260915 Awh, it's okay, don't get upset.
260922 look, like i said, if your up to something else, i'll get it.
260929
You can just ask if you're stuck.
260936 well, could you at least fix up the first chapter at least? i assure you after this, i'll let the editor i do have handle the rest of the coming story. that is, if it does come since you insisted that you do have your own stories to worry about, which i respect and understand.
260950 Yeah, I'm fixing it right now
260298>>260574>>260365 ok, the story is fixed now. and sooner then exsected, a good smaritan named Purple Thunder helped out.
260377 What do you mean fg bnbkd
261284 i mean, that you propbuly hated the story because it wasn't written good. well, a good smaritan that is Purple Thunder helped me out. also, you wrote it with an angry Twilight, so i assumed you hated it because of the foremention.
261295 No nigga i loved it ah nad moreeee,knvkdsjflb
shaniqua comin afta yah for ma bulshit
261395oh, then try to be more pafific. by the way, what were you angry about?
260386 if all you gonna do is bitch and moan, then please leave me alone. i'll tolerate that you think otherwise on the update, but at least it's updated AT ALL! consider yourself lucky this site does not have a block feature.
you know, it's people like you that almost make me wanna quit writing stories, but because of fans i do got, i won't, so, sorry if this does not meet your picky tastes, your highness, but that what your majasty gets for trying what the commoners get. sorry, we serve no chicken a la king here, we have chicken nuggets.
look, this story is createD to respect and honor Derpy after her fall and exsile from canon due to Hasbro's unexplained second thoughts, and your disrepecting her because of your pickyness.
if i have one more saying to you, is this.
WEL EXQUSE ME, PRINCESS!
261419
You asked for feedback and I gave you feedback. I have no intention of making you quit, I only want to see you improve. If I didn't have to get my fic finished by tomorrow, I would gladly completely proof read it for you.
261473 (sigh) look, don't get me wrong, i normally have no problem with criticisum as long as it's soft and controled, but sometimes it can be atad frustrating. i was merely defending Derpy in her time of need. Hasbro dumped her as canon because some over-sensitive cry babies cried about Derpy being insensitive and hurtful to mentaly unstable people and hasbro pulled a big freaken changed on us. i created this story to honor derpy, in sadness of the one fan idea getting in a canon show only to have dumped. i just, wasn't exsecting someone like you to be so, firey about any appearent "problems" with this fic. sure, i am abit amturic, but at least i have reasons why improofments are slow on my own: it's because i am halfly autistic. yes, i am half mentally issued, but i did not find derpy offefencive, cause i know that it's just a cartoon horse.
again, sorry for losing it, sometimes, criticsum, even with good intentions, can cause me to, react negitively.
261398 What that one in to screw that it is angry or not? What each takes care of his bottom and all will go better.
261509 uh right. so, what did you think was your faverite part, or at least, what broke your heart the most, and, if i dare ask, you have any great hatred torwords the Foal service agents.
261512 Oh, I loved it when Derpy tucked Dinky into bed! It Is soooooooooo sweet! And yes, I hate the foal service agents.
I was going to track this, until Carrot Top turned out to be straight. Boo.
267176 would it entice you that, sometime soon in the story that Carrot Top would change her sexiallty ideals?
(spoilers unintended by the way.)
267366
Oh so tracking the hell out of this now! I love emotional Derpy stories and some good romance.
Hey, dispite all the bad comments on the story, I read it and think that it is really good. Yes, the errors kind of make it a bit hard to read at points, but the writer is getting an editor to fix that so everypony should stop obsessing over that so much.
Great story so far, I can't wait for more! 
270127 actselly, a good smaritan named Purple Thunder helped out, but, just to be respectful, i will give this a double check to my more offitcal editor.
wait, what?
275568 what do you mean?
awww pour
derpy you need to make the rest for the story
496882 working on it.
Agent 34? Rule 34..... Hmmmmmmm....