• Member Since 19th Jul, 2013
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Fluttercheer


Pony Author, Writer of Foal Stories, Storyteller, Equestrian Analyzer and occasional Pony Artist. You can support the stories I tell on Patreon to get nice rewards or tip me on Ko-fi (LINKS BELOW).

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When Derpy must out of town for a week and needs somepony to take care of Dinky while she is gone, she calls for Dinky's aunt to look after her until she's back. And Dinky absolutely hates it.
Her aunt is always patronizing her by trying to protect her from things she doesn't even need protection from!
For Dinky, it's frustrating and annoying and it makes her angry. All that Dinky wants is to be treated with respect by her aunt and do the things she wants to do, but her aunt just doesn't listen.....
What lies ahead of Dinky is the worst week of her life.


For the full list of characters appearing in this fic, look at the top of Chapter 1!

01:10 AM (CET): 107 views in a little more than four hours! Thanks for letting this story skyrocket!

2016/07/06: And now "Aunt Millie" made it to Popular Stories too! Huge THANK YOU to everypony who made this possible! :scootangel:

2016/22/11: "Aunt Millie" got some fanart! :scootangel: You can view it here:

https://s21.postimg.org/7ugpxamqv/Bring_back_her_video_games_Fanart_for_Aunt_Mi.png

Chapters (13)
Comments ( 246 )

Well, this fic keeps my Derpy is Dinky's mother in some way and still gives a reasonable explanation for that scene in the last episode.:yay:

Nice job! I love how you added the new pony as Dinky's aunt instead of mother. Mother Derpy is still in my head canon :derpytongue2:

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Derpy will always be Dinky's mother. With those many similarities between them, there's just no doubt about their relation. :heart:

Thanks for reading and upvoting! I aim for one chapter per week, so there shouldn't pass too much time before you see how the fic continues!
And thanks for the bookshelf ads, Bricklayer! Please let me know what you think about it once you gave it a read! :twilightsmile:

7281108 Not a bad beginning though I would space sentences between paragraphs like this:

"I like books!" Twilight exclaimed. "So sue me."

"Your obsession is frightening." Rainbow deadpanned.

...This is the first time I've seen the character tags in the story.

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Thanks! I'm glad you like it so much! :twilightsmile:

For your suggestion, I never space out like this, unless there is a change of scenery or perhaps a flashback.
I don't think it makes for a good reading experience.
I prefer the way actual published books do it, with indentations only (although I use more indentations than there are in books).

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Yeah, that's a new idea I got yesterday. It's always very annoying and unsatisfying if you have characters in your fics that don't have tags.
And while I can understand that it isn't possible to add a tag for each and every background character this show has, there are still always those characters (background or not) where you keep asking yourself why they don't get a tag, either because they are significantly important in the show and have a big role there (Coloratura, Flurry Heart) or, while just in the background, show off huge potential for stories anyway, potential that sure would get used more if authors who want to write for them wouldn't have to resort to the "Other" tag all the time (Lily Longsocks, Chirpy Hooves, the disco mare trio from recently, ect.).
And since the staff doesn't seem to really want to add new tags, the only thing you can probably do is helping yourself.
So I went ahead and made tags on my own. And now I have finally found a good way to implement them in my fics too! :yay:
If you need any of these tags for your own fics (two more are linked in the description of "Princess Flurry Heart, Destroyer of Worlds!"), feel free to use them! That's what they're made for! :yay:

Carefully, her mom stretched out a wing and put it over Dinky's shoulders. “I know it's hard, Dinks. I don't like Auntie Millie either, but I can't leave you alone here during the day.”

It's concerning that Derpy would leave one of her children in the care of someone that she doesn't even like. Other parents might say "I know you don't like her, but she's your Aunt, she's a responsible mare, and she loves you," instead of agreeing with Dinky on that point and making promises that she knows she can't keep. Not cool, Derpy.

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A bit unfair to Derpy, aren't we? As she already said, there is no other pony that can do this right now. And "I know you don't like her, but she's your Aunt, she's a responsible mare, and she loves you," is not something Derpy would bring over her tongue with this mare, not even as a lie.
Let's just say that she is a bit too "responsible".
That's all I'm saying. The rest would lead into spoiler territory.

The trials had only just begun.

Pretty good! :pinkiesmile: I think you could benefit from an editor though.

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waaaaaaah is here! :pinkiehappy: Thanks!

I won't get an editor, but a proofreader for typos and proper sentence construction is possible in the future. Although I like it more to learn everything by myself. *Is a very ambitious writer*
Are there any errors that particularly jumped into your eye?

I swear, this opening chapter feels exactly like an anime, and it's glorious. XD This is really adorable, looking forward to more!

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It does? Hmm, if that's really the case then it is your imagination, cause I didn't watch an Anime for years, so there's no way something subconsciously influenced me here.
Do you watch a lot of Anime right now?

Thanks, there will be more soon! :scootangel:

Edit: And thanks for the favourite as well! :heart:

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Do you watch a lot of Anime right now?

I haven't in a while. I think it's just the setting: small kitchen, older sister teasing younger, less-responsible sister, plus the slightly off-kilter language, it just really reminded me of anime. I kept expecting Dinky to say onee-san XD

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Do so many Slice of Life Anime start out in a kitchen with two sisters bickering at the breakfast table? xD
And what's "off-kilter language"? I never heard that term.

7287371 "off-kilter" means "not quite right". It's the same "not quite right" that I feel when something has been translated into English: the words are correct, but the expression feels strange. I'm not saying that's a bad thing; I actually like it, it adds flavor. :)

Do so many Slice of Life Anime start out in a kitchen with two sisters bickering at the breakfast table?

I can't identify any, but I'm sure I've seen similar scenes play out in animes more than once :)

7284512 Sorry for the late response. :twilightblush: Anyways, my main issue was a lot of odd phrasing that kept taking me out of my immersion. For example, compare this:

Sparkler stretched the word intentionally long, which caused a giggle by Dinky

with this:

Sparkler intentionally stretched the word, causing Dinky to giggle

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You mean like what waaaaaaah pointed out below?

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Your sentence sounds a bit more flowy and reads better. I think I can see the errors here:

"long" isn't necessary, because when I write "Sparkler stretched the word intentionally" this implies that it's "long" already anyway.
And when I write "a giggle by Dinky" it subtly implies that there are other fillies besides Dinky who could giggle over that and that I highlight who is giggling, which isn't necessary either, because Dinky is alone.
Also, the adjective always belongs after the name, right? Otherwise it sounds like Sparkler is stretching the word "intentionally", instead of that she stretches any word on purpose while speaking.
So, technically, the sentence could also be:

Sparkler intentionally stretched the word, which caused Dinky to giggle.

Your sentence still flows a bit better, but grammatically, this version of the sentence should be right as well.

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You more or less got it, though 'from' works better than 'by' in this case . Also, I believe 'causing' is more appropriate, given that Dinky is currently giggling, and didn't already giggle. (present tense vs past tense)

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You more or less got it, though 'from' works better than 'by' in this case .

I can't tell why and how, but I can see how "from" is more right. However, it's same as "by" not necessary at this point, cause there is only filly that could giggle.

Also, I believe 'causing' is more appropriate, given that Dinky is currently giggling, and didn't already giggle. (present tense vs past tense)

Both is equally right, actually. While "caused" sounds like past tense, it's actually still describing what Dinky does right now, same as Sparkler's "stretched" describes that she is stretching the word in this very moment.
It's a minor difference, but I think it's a little better to stay in the past tense after "stretched" because it's more aligned that way.
I might still use "causing" on occasion in the future, though, for the sake of diverse writing.

Give Dinky some slack, Millie. Nopony has died by muffin before and I doubt that it'll happen anytime soon. What's her beef against Derp- whatever her name is anyway?

Obviously, Dinky's going to have a tough time with Auntie...but how does Sparkler feel about Millie? And will the two of them end up butting heads over anything?

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Her name is still "Derpy" and this is the only name you will find in this fic.

And for Millie, there's not all that much reason for her obnoxious behavior. She is simply one of those people who always think of themselves as better.
Thanks for reading!

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I can't say too much about Sparkler's involvement. But she is going to have a crucial role in the events, that's something I can promise.
Thanks for reading Chapter 2 and the fave!! :scootangel:

Oh boy... SHE's arrived. Things are about to get... interesting.

Aaww. I found this chapter to be sweet but now the threat has arrived.
Lily could "accidently" leave boulders in front of the windows and doors after Derpy leaves. The her aunt can't get out and Dinky is trapped outside so she just might as well go stay at Lily's house for the week.

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Yes, interesting. Or painful. Probably painfully interesting. :yay:


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That sounds like a good idea. :scootangel: Glad you liked the way I wrote Lily! This was a great moment to do this for the first time in one of my fics! :heart:

7329096 One thing is for sure... There will be drama!

7329096 I can't wait for more. :pinkiehappy:

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For Lily or new chapters in general? Unfortunately, as I have planned it right now, it's going to be a while until Lily makes her next appearance. Currently, I have planned at least two more appearances of her.

7332218 Both. I'll just have to wait though.

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Chapter 3 comes out next Saturday. I actually wanted to write it today, but then I decided to skip this week because something else occupied me.
"Crusaders of the Lost Mark" came out on german TV today and that's something that needed my full concentration today.
Sadly, the german translators completely butchered this episode. :applecry:

7338083 I look forward to it.
They do that sometimes. It's hard to keep an episode or movie the same between cultures and languages.

Hopefully Mille is brought before court for bad childcare.

Generally, I assume Equestria has a mid-industrial tech level, plus arcanotech, sans the globalized support network. In essence, an early game console is okay, but a computer with internet or even a local digital database isn't.

Yep, dislike Millie already. That's impressive, when you dislike a character from their very first moments on the page or on-screen.

Will Millie's daughter Cream Puff be making an appearance in this story? I can imagine Dinky being forced to babysit a little devil toddler and being blamed for everything the brat breaks... to teach her responsibility, of course. :trollestia:

7357397 hello child support? I'm gonna need you here for a little bit.

Thanks for reading, everypony! :yay:

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Considering that she has a foal herself, which she probably will or already does treat the same way, that would be very possible:

https://www.derpibooru.org/452366?scope=scpe147535685198abc44de4d6786c8f75893a55a66e



At least I hope that Equestria has better anti-child abuse laws than Earth.

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plus arcanotech

Ah, there's a word for this, I'm going to remember that. I will still go with "magicity" for their replacement for electricity, assuming they have that, though. Due to the relation between the two words it's most likely they will call it that way.

but a computer with internet or even a local digital database isn't

They don't have Internet, that's something we can say for certain, hence the way of magically delivering letters with the help of a dragon.
A local, digital database as in, a computer (if it's that what you mean), is possible, though. Those arcade videogames we have seen must have been programmed somehow and you need a computer for this.
By the way, the Neightendo I mention in the fic is an Equestria version of the Nintendo 64, not a NES or SNES console. I just left the "64" out on purpose, because there isn't a way to ponify a number, so it would have sound off-putting and broken immersion.
I have planned something for the next chapter that will make more clear that it is a Nintendo 64 counterpart.

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Mission accomplished! :scootangel: Yeah, Millie is not meant to be liked.

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Only saw these comments now. Thanks for reading to you two as well! :yay:

Will Millie's daughter Cream Puff be making an appearance in this story?

Cream Puff won't be in the fic, Millie's husband is taking care of her. What a relief for the little one.
One filly's meat is another filly's poison.

But I like your idea. :scootangel:

I'd have to agree with Derpy. She's been feedin' Dinky muffins and she's still fine. I mean, Millie would be HORRIFIED to see that something like Sugarcube Corner exists, but at least everypony can burn the fat off by trotting around town. Not unlike us humans that if we ate too much, the energy would eventually be converted into carbs and eventually to fat. Guessing by her mannerisms, she comes from someplace like Manehatten or some large city with a major earth pony population and from what I know about large cities, it's harder to burn fat due to them being somewhat modernized.

Also, I'm sensing some hypocritical undertones with Aunt Millie since I figured that she's a step below loathable rich pony.

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I mean, Millie would be HORRIFIED to see that something like Sugarcube Corner exists

Guessing by her mannerisms, she comes from someplace like Manehatten or some large city with a major earth pony population and from what I know about large cities, it's harder to burn fat due to them being somewhat modernized.

Millie knows about Sugarcube Corner, in fact, she's living in Ponyville herself. Seeing her in Ponyville dates back to "The Mysterious Mare Do Well" in Season 2 at least.
Why this mare is acting like this is a mystery.

Also, I'm sensing some hypocritical undertones with Aunt Millie since I figured that she's a step below loathable rich pony.

No, Millie isn't hypocritical. I can assure, she means everything she's saying. :twilightoops:

7358149 Ah she's one of THOSE, wants to protect her children (and her families children) from all harm whatsoever because seeing a papercut is too much for them to bear (the last bit may be hyperbolic but probably not to the extent I'd like). It's a surprise she hasn't had a heart attack from living in Ponyville where their have been things out to hurt everybody... Heck if she lived in our world she'd probably die of fear given how disaster can strike anywhere here.

She clearly never heard the phrase no risk no reward... or foolishly ruled it out.

7358149 I'm guessing she left after the Mare Do Well episode and came back. Unless the muffins are deep fried, there's no reason to worry about fats and wha' not, right? And even then, she would have to worry about quiche muffins because they are greasier than normal muffins.

Based on how Millie acts, I think Dinky with find her video games missing soon. So that was not the best place to hide stuff.

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