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  • E The Traveling Tutor and the Diplomats Daughter

    All Princess Sun Shines wants to do is escape from her stuffy room and explore the castle. All Green Grass wants to do is find some distraction to keep him from worrying about Twilight Sparkle’s most recent dangerous mission. Solution: Tour G  · Georg
    35,757 words · 2,279 views  ·  287  ·  5  · 

Featured In14

More Stories33

  • E In Celestia We Trust, All Others Pay Cash

    Ice Cream, so sweet, so delicious. Who would have thought a simple ice cream cone would have the power to nearly topple the financial basis of Equestria?
    2,798 words · 11,141 views  ·  1,301  ·  17
  • E A War of Words - The Opening of the Guard

    Diplomacy, gender and sisterhood in conflict, as reflected in memo form
    3,691 words · 5,616 views  ·  545  ·  5
  • E Daring Do and the Dance

    The story of a disposable minion of Ahuizotl as he tells of his forbidden love for Daring Do. Not the book, the pony.
    2,169 words · 2,167 views  ·  372  ·  3
  • T The Monster in the Twilight

    Twilight Sparkle’s brilliant mind was gone, burned away by her own power when she nearly destroyed Canterlot twelve years ago. Now there is a monster prowling the Everfree. And it is starting to remember what true power felt like.
    96,284 words · 15,591 views  ·  2,365  ·  45
  • E Diamond Tiara Buys a Little Sister

    Diamond Tiara is off to the Ponyville Hospital to shop for a new little sister, but she should be careful. She may get more than what she expected.
    9,292 words · 7,472 views  ·  492  ·  6
  • T Letters From a Little Princess Monster

    Monster finds problems fitting in and getting used to her new world in Ponyville. To help adjust, she reaches out to Princess Luna who has many of the same problems now that she is recovering from being Nightmare Moon.
    133,097 words · 14,245 views  ·  1,063  ·  21
  • E Yes Twilight Sparkle, There Is a Santa Hooves

    On Hearth’s Warming Eve, Princess Celestia has always spent the night alone in her private study, allowing the castle staff and most of the guards time to spend with their loved ones on this night of friendship and family. Tonight is differen
    6,695 words · 3,233 views  ·  449  ·  7
  • E To Sleep, Perchance to Dream

    In the highest spire of the highest tower in Canterlot, Princess Luna dreamed of nightmares....
    20,777 words · 2,474 views  ·  218  ·  3

Blog Posts118

  • 1w, 6d
    Who is Twilight Sparkle (RE Bookplayer’s blog post)

    Done in response to Bookplayer’s excellent post on the topic, found here, with comments by Tchernobog, Bradel, and bats.  Go read it first.  I’ll wait.

    Before I even start, be aware that I am taking this question from the point of view of two non-canon stories that I’ve written, primarily The Traveling Tutor and the Librarian, (with Sequel The Traveling Tutor and the Diplomat’s Daughter), and secondarily The Monster in the Twilight.  The blog post by Bookplayer caught my attention because the third story, The Traveling Tutor and the Royal Exam, is about 75% done, and I’ve done a lot of Twilight Writing during it.

    (Brief Summary: TTatL - Twilight X OC shipfic done the way I think a romance involving her should be done.  MitT - An AU where Twilight loses control at her entrance exam, nearly destroys her mind, and winds up living a destructive life in the Everfree Forest as a semi-sentient monster.  Who makes friends.)

    Tagging (T) for TTatL specific headcanon, and (M) for MitT headcanon

    Briefly describe Twilight as you see her:

    Brief?  You don’t know me, do you?  :)

    She is a brilliant introvert who burns with curiosity regarding all things.  If ever given a box that says ‘Do not open’ across the front in letters of fire, the world will end.  She wants to know what is under that rock, behind that book, around that corner, how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?  How hard do you lick?  What flavor?  Magic is her special talent because anything can be done in Equestria with magic, from raising the sun to making Winter go away, and the answers to her questions are inside those wonderful books.  Quote from Yes Twilight Sparkle, There Is a Santa Hooves:

    Celestia had recently discovered the little filly’s ‘few questions’ could easily be considered a thesis with multiple pages of references by others.  In fact, given a steady supply of books and food, she was fully capable of vanishing for weeks if not a full year with the only signs of her existence being a trail of dropped notes between her hiding place and the bathroom.

    (T) Trust is a key to understanding Twilight Sparkle.  Twilight trusts Celestia to an extent that could be considered unhealthy for anypony else.  Twilight trusts Spike, who she views as a younger brother, most probably in a transference away from her relationship to Shining Armor, who has ‘gone away’ for a period of years recently, and most likely at the same time Cadence left, giving her only one ‘sibling’ to focus on.  This is unhealthy, which is why I gave Twilight Velvet a set of ‘Whoops’ babies. (Naa, I just thought it would be fun.  Both of my brothers had a ‘we thought we were done’ child later in life, and it’s humorous, at least from a distance.)

    As Celestia’s student, she would be approached by the most loathsome of social climbers who would be looking for a hoof-up with the Princess, and any ‘friends’ she might meet would tend to turn out to be seeking an advantage instead of a real relationship, therefore reducing her social circle (now that SA and Cadence are gone) down to Spike and Celestia.  From TTatL:

    When she was younger, there had been more than one young noble unicorn colt who had been supposedly quite interested in being ‘tutored’ by the Princess’ private student, when in actuality they had very different ideas in mind.  Her youthful experiences had been educational, true, but even restricting study-buddies to only fillies had not been wholly successful in preventing that sort of imposition.  Everypony in Canterlot had just seemed to want something from her, either physically or socially, and by the time the Princess had sent her to Ponyville, her social circle had shrunk to the only two beings who really cared about her.  One of which had just hosed her down with a fire extinguisher, and the other of which had just ‘coincidently’ sent a young noble colt to town.  Well, one of those two was getting a stern note, and the other was going into time out, she just was not quite certain which one was going to be which.

    (M) Monster has much the same Trust issues, only worse.  She’s tried to rip down the sun, burned out her mind with power, roams the Everfree Forest at will and heavens help any creature who crosses her path.  Cadence and Shining Armor are trying to capture her in order to help her, but she only sees the trap and is willing to rip the entire forest to shreds to escape.  The only creature who she trusts is Zecora, who saved her life when she was thrown into the Everfree and who is always waiting to comfort her when she returns from her rage-induced forest trips.  That is, until she meets the Cutie Mark Crusaders:

    “It’s okay,” whispered Apple Bloom.  “You’re safe here.”

    Of course, even after having her mind nearly destroyed, she still maintains Twilight’s base personality:

    “Buks fuhhhhst,” said Monster firmly, sitting the book down on the ground and settling in beside Apple Bloom.  “Buks!”  She stared at the little filly, who remained sitting quietly and not moving until Monster suddenly blurted out, “Anks.  Ank ooouuu.”

    What is essential to remember about her that people might forget?

    Spike, darnit.  The little guy gets almost no respect, but that’s understandable.  His primary reason for existing is so that Twilight can talk out loud without talking to herself in the cartoon, but he’s also her best friend and little brother, and just the least little bit of a child to take care of.

    Secondly is her ability to lock onto a problem until it can be dealt with, either by direct confrontation or by studying it to death.  If Fermat lived in Twilight’s universe, he would be met at the breakfast table by a sleepy unicorn demanding that he provide the proof that he claimed for his last theorem, right here, on this piece of paper, and I’m not leaving until you finish so put down that piece of toast and pick up this pencil, mister.  The only reason questions exist is so they can be answered, and if you have an unanswered question, that just means you’re not working hard enough on it.  Need an egg unscrambled?  There’s a spell for that, even if it has to be researched, which is fun!  Come on, grab a book and help me look.  There is no impossible, there is merely difficult.

    (T) There was something in his own gut that twitched each time Twilight sobbed and hiccupped into her green pillow.  Even in defeat she was undefeated, scheming out her failures through the tears and planning her next assault on the problem between hiccups.  In some way, he understood the reason Twilight Sparkle had been the focal point in the fight against Nightmare Moon, for if he had been an evil goddess bent on revenge, the cute purple unicorn would have been the last opponent he would ever have wanted to face.  Or maybe Pinkie Pie.  It would have been a difficult decision: death by magic or death by cake.

    (M) The force of destruction in her soul that screamed for release fought viciously as she began to force it down.  Bit by bit, she wrapped the hatred in iron bands, forcing it to her will as she had never resisted it before.  Erratic bursts of power slipped from her grasp and splattered fire across the chamber, setting the rugged cellulose of the walls smoldering in places and recoiling like a striking snake against one hapless changeling who decided to poke his nose into the chamber to find out what all the commotion was about.  The fire ate him into nothingness, leaving only a few smoking limbs spasming in the doorway.

    Monster clung desperately to the small frightened voice she had heard in the pod.  To release her fury on the creatures who attacked her friends would certainly kill both the bugs and her friends.  The glare of white power from her eyes slowly faded as she regained control, wrestling the changeling power under her will.  The love of the changelings was powerful, but far too easy to convert to hatred, and impossible to change back.

    Nobody told Monster.

    Is there anything you like to add to her character that’s a stretch from canon, or totally your own invention?

    Hm. Let’s see.  I gave her a coltfriend and turned her into an elemental force of destruction roaming the Everfree Forest, both of which wound up giving her baby brothers.  That’s a stretch from canon, I think.  One thing I would like to see is a weakness that she cannot overcome, perhaps the inability to color coordinate wallpaper, or her fear of snakes and spiders.  As a matter of fact, an entire story on trying to cope with her fear of spiders would be fantastic.  Although probably not with this:

    “Well, it’s like Granny Smith says. You can let a foal go through life afraid, or you can lock her in a dark room with a thousand spiders until she stops screaming.” Applejack put her basket under another tree and lined up for a kick. “She’s just full of folksy wisdom.”

    (T) I added interpretations of her parents, making Mom the Dean at the High Energy Thaumatology Lab in Canterlot University and with a personality extrapolated from Twilight’s basic configuration.  She’s very protective of her daughter (and yes, wince at this paragraph):

    “Your father and I only want what’s best for our little princess,” said Velvet softly, chopping a cucumber into nearly transparent slices.  “If that young colt of yours is giving you any problems at all...”  She finished her chopping with one last solid whack, before spreading the finely sliced cucumber onto some nearby bread.

    and she’s a researcher at heart, just like her daughter:

    “Direct observation, although my sample size is pitifully small.”  Twilight Sparkle tapped the table while looking off into the distance.  “I suppose I could consult with Miss Cheerilee about names of his romantic interests while in college and submit a questionnaire to them by mail, but I’m afraid the error rate would be too large for sufficient accuracy.”

    “Top of the left stack,” said Velvet, pointing at two stacks of paper on the table with her knife.  “Due to the short notice, I was only able to interview a dozen young mares and have not yet correlated the data in any truly scientific fashion, but my initial observation is that you have what several of his previous romantic liaisons would call ‘a Keeper,’ although there is some discrepancy among the results that may be related to social climbing among the classes.  You should be pleased that there is no real history of violence or anti-social behavior in his family other than what is normal for a Barony of his size.  Few mental illnesses in his family comparatively, and he seems to have a nasty streak of honesty that would disqualify him from holding political office.”  Twilight Velvet dropped the shredded onions onto the sizzling pan with a hiss.  “In short, I like him.  Other than his abysmal grasp of Physics, he seems to be perfectly normal.”

    (T) And her father I made into an ‘anchor’ of the relationship, much the same as Shining Armor is going to have to be the sensible anchor of the crystal alicorn he married.  After all, it takes a real stallion to throw your wife after the Crystal Heart like a javelin.  Night Light is a little more understated.  Ok, a lot more.

    “It does you no good to take a trip if you don’t enjoy it.  I have to say one thing about my trip so far: I’ve never been bored.  Frightened, terrified, exhilarated, or ecstatic, yes, but never bored.  Either way the two of you decide, make the most of it, and don’t let anypony try to tell you otherwise.  Within reason.  My wife still has her father’s sword hung up on the wall.”

    A tiny smile crept onto Green Grass’ face.  “I think it can stay there.”

    How does Twilight’s academic interest affect how you write her in different situations?

    In TV terms, she is, in effect, Eddie Albert in Green Acres.  She possesses vast sums of knowledge about things outside of Ponyville, and very little about what actually goes on in town, the inverse of the traditionally folksy country character who goes to town and proceeds to show how small town values work so much better than big city methods, as The Beverly Hillbillies did weekly.  In most sitcom settings, this would be played for laughs as the small town hucksters proceed to take advantage of her naivete, and they do a little, but I like to show her love for learning exceeds nearly any of the small incidentals.

    (T) Green Grass coughed also, looking carefully around the floor for his common sense, or what was left of his wits.  “Yes, it does.  I think I’m ready to continue...”  A quick glance at the clock dropped his heart into his hooves.  “Darn.  I’ve got a lesson in a few minutes over at Roseluck’s.”

    “And I’ve got an experiment running in the basement that needs feeding,” mumbled Twilight, looking at the clock as if sheer willpower could make it run backwards.  “I really wanted to increase my sample size.”

    “Increase the confidence interval,” murmured Green Grass, trying to keep his eyes off Twilight and failing.

    “You know what I want to do,” breathed Twilight, looking Green Grass straight in the eyes.  “And I know you do too.”

    “It’s been a long time,” admitted the tutor, nearly touching noses with Twilight.

    “I’m certain you will remember just how,” whispered Twilight, gently bumping noses with him.  “How about we meet back here after your classes are over?  And we can work on continuing our... little project.”

    “A date?” asked Green Grass, taken aback slightly, only to relax as Twilight’s entire face seemed to glow with a joyous smile that nearly blinded him.

    “A study session.  Now come on, let's get going.  The sooner we get done with our projects, the sooner we can get back here.”

    (M) “We shall never understand modern music.  In any case, can you tell me what it is that you did wrong, so that you might not repeat your folly?”

    “Well.”  Monster considered the issue briefly.  “When I was doing the space-mass tensor deconstruction, I think the rounding errors on the formula added instead of cancelling each other out, giving me an energy imbalance across—”

    “No.”  Luna placed both of her  forehooves over her face and sighed.  “No,” she repeated, slightly muffled.  “Just… No.”

    Do you think becoming a princess has changed Twilight’s perspective? How?

    Well, I’ve soft-shoed this in (T) to a point, since only the third story takes place post-wings, and in the sequel to (M) she’s still pretty flightless, although Scootaloo is giving her lessons in crashing from tall buildings.  I think in canon, she’s got a pretty good case of imposter syndrome muted only because of her close friends.  In short, she’s the same Twilight inside, only with wings, and a whopping lot more things to learn.  Please note, almost the first question she asked after alicornification is if there was a book she could study about what to expect.  So now she has to learn about flying, about earth pony magic, and an entire new scale of things she can do with unicorn magic.  She actually has raised the sun now (although a little wobbly), transformed along with her friends into Breezies, defeated an ancient evil that had defeated all of the other princesses, and has a bright new castle.  But still, inside her heart, there’s still that little unicorn who wants nothing more than to curl up in a sunbeam with a good book.

    If Twilight was in our world, what would she study in college?

    Well, my knee-jerk reaction is ‘How to get back.’  Seriously though, her instincts seem to be ‘whatever looks interesting’ with a good dose of ‘helpfull’ that can be considered good or bad, depending on how much the help-ee wants help.  Certainly the Math and Science section of the university would see frequent visits, as well as the sorority rushes, student get-togethers, and an endless number of meetings with foreign students of many types.  Somehow I don’t think the ‘Studies’ sections would get much attention, or any of the political rallies, and the campus ministers who try to chat up the students for converts had better know their source material backwards and forwards.  Certainly the Higgs Boson had better find a new hiding place, and several mathematical theorems are going to be rewritten.

    And, of course, she’ll make lots of friends.

    4 comments · 301 views
  • 4w, 5d
    Monday Needs Sinnin - A Punderful Request

    As the worst possible sin against nature is the Pun, and some of the people who follow me are twisted aberations against nature (some?), I thought it only fair to wonder out loud:

    What is the worst possible MLP-FIM Pun you can think of for a story description and title?

    For example:

    Description: The Pie family rock farm is  in trouble and only Pinkie Pie and the Elemnts of Harmony can save it from being taken over by a big conglomarate farm, but will they be able to find the traitor in her own family before it is too late?

    Title: Game of Stones

    Go nuts in the comments.  Stay germane, but try to keep it PG rated at wurst.

    20 comments · 284 views
  • ...

Twilight Sparkle was quite positive she could handle the job of teaching young unicorn students in Ponyville how to handle their new magic, but when the school’s traveling magic teacher returns to town as scheduled, a series of miscommunications and accidents nearly drive the two of them crazy.  Only the power of friendship (and a certain amount of tinkering from the townsponies) can save the day for them and their students before complete disaster strikes, but maybe there is a little more than friendship in store for the two young teachers.

[Comedy][Education][Slice of Cake]  Featured on Equestria Daily.  With a TV Tropes page and a sequel, The Traveling Tutor and the Diplomat's Daughter.

A lighthearted look at education, young love, dating and buckets of water in the face in that most normal of all small towns, Ponyville.

Caution: Contains bananas, marble chips, jogging, matrimonial planning, romantic interference, intrigue, lesson plans and lots of nuts.  A whole town full of them.

Rated I for Innuendo, some drinking, some sleeping together (Just sleeping!  Really!  Why won’t you believe me?) and a great deal of dunking in the town fountain.  

No cupcakes were harmed in the production of this fic.  However, a great number were eaten.  And they were yummy.

First Published
1st Dec 2012
Last Modified
7th Feb 2013

Author's Notes:  This is more Comedy combined with a "You can never go home again" story than Romance, but there will be kissing going on, and a lot of innuendo.  Originally I was not planning on getting too serious, or too long, but it now weighs out at 36 chapters, having taken off and dragged me along for a most enjoyable ride, with many memorable moments.  

‘Don Rocinante’ is stolen borrowed from RDD's Lunaverse series with permission, because I could never come up with a way to ponyfy Don Quixote half as well.

Presently approved by EqD on third submittal (one strike, one returned without a strike, approved on 9/26/13) after extensive editing that touched each chapter at least four times.

I would like to extend thanks to the many editors and proofreaders who have taken the time to wade through the story, including Peter, Bad Horse, Featherprop , Nyerguds, lhmac , Alicorn Priest , Kydois (and others more numerous to mention who have helped point out my errors.  You are all a moment of joy that I will treasure forever.)

Submitted to /fic/ for a review 3/3 linked Here , and the review posted 6/2 is Here with my politely worded response to the review Here with yet another politely worded response to my response (Yes, I got a *good* reviewer who cares) Here. The first chapter has been completely rewritten and major changes have occurred in several others from their advice, giving a much better story.  Thanks guys!

If you would care to read it as it was developed along with my contributor comments and various internal musings, a link to the raw Google Document is here.

Now with a TV Tropes page and a sequel, The Traveling Tutor and the Diplomat's Daughter

Submitted 12/1/2012 3:00 (and approved really quickly too)

Second chapter is up.  The rest should follow with a few days between them.

Sunday: Third chapter is up.  It's a bit stubby.

Tuesday: Fourth chapter is up.  Yes, that's a Star Wars reference. (footnotes updated for Twilight's mother, added link to Fauxsquared fantastic pic)

Thursday: Fifth chapter is up.  I'm pleading the Fifth, and Green Grass really needs a fifth.

Friday: Sixth chapter is up.  And so is Green Grass.  And so is Twilight.  How to say the wrong thing in just One Word.

Saturday: Seventh chapter is up.  "Mom!  Guess what we learned in school today!"

Sunday: Eighth chapter is up.  The cake is not a lie.  And it's delivered.

Monday: Ninth chapter is up.  Dinky brings a friend to the evaluation.

Tuesday: Evaluation is over (although who is getting evaluated is debatable).  The date apology lunch is scheduled, and something is developing. (literally)

Friday: Eleventh chapter is up.  The young lovers get their first kiss.  And Twilight gets to meet the in-laws.  And his fiance.

Sunday: Twelfth chapter is up.  Twilight sends Green Grass on a little trip.

Wednesday: Thirteenth chapter is up.  Guys talk guy things, girls talk girl things.  Green Grass gets a welcome letter, Airmail.

Friday: Fourteenth chapter is up.  Now the Princess knows.

Saturday: Fifteenth chapter is up.  The day starts with Sunlight, and ends with Starlight and Moonshine

Sunday.  Chapter 16 is up.  In Vino Veritas.

Tuesday: Chapter 17 is up.  Green Grass finds out what the moon is like.

Wednesday late: Chapter 18 is up, hangovers and misconceptions (not *that* kind of conception!)  

Thursday : Chapter 19 is up.  Sleepovers are so much fun, particularly when people you know drop in.  (19 chapters in 28 days, whew!)

Saturday : Chapter 20 is up.  Twilight's father is a nice chap.  Really.  

Sunday:  Chapter 21 is up. Twilight Sparkle’s mother is Julie Andrews, but this song went through my head while writing the entire chapter.

Monday: Chapter 22 is up.  As we say goodbye to Twilight's mom and dad, and near the end of our tale.

Wed: Chapter 23 is up.  Green Grass and Twilight start a little project that may take a few months to complete.

Sat: Chapter 24 is up.  Green Grass decides to break it off.  Pinkie Pie is making cupcakes.

Mon. Chap 25 is up.  The break up is off.  Somepony goes for a fountain trip.  Twilight has to stay after school.

Fri Chap 27 is up.  The young lovers get snowed in, and find an activity suited to the isolation.

Sun Chap 28 is up.  Green Grass has two tickets to paradise.  Rarity has 20 tickets to Tartarus.

Tue Chap 29 is up.  Our young lovers face an evening separated by some very old chaperones.

Thu Chap 30 is up.  The Princess gets some unexpected male.  err.  Mail.

Sun  Chap 31 is up.  It's a good thing those newspapers have layers of fact-checkers or they might get something wrong.

Mon Chap 32 is up.  Green Grass besieged!  Canterlot castle surrounded!  Fortunately they're just reporters.

Tue Chap 33 is up.  Green Grass and the author loose some points (Author fixed it though)

Wed Chap 34 is up.  Finally!  A proposal!  There's going to be a wedding!  (cackle) with image by Tamalesyatole

Thu Chap 35 is up.  That letter returns, with some annotations.  It makes me happy when a stallion gets what he deserves.

Chapter 36 is done This is the end, 36 chapters in just a shade over 2 months.  

Chapter 37 (epilogue) has been published, and story is now marked complete!  Dec 1 - Feb 6.  Whew.  No, I'm not making a sequel for at least several months, while I decompress.  :)

And I have an image for Green Grass' cutie mark now.  Yea, Inkscape.

Well, this should be interesting...

You have my interest. I look forward to seeing where you go with this.

Nice. I'm looking forward to reading more.

Yeah, pal, a dragon.  Fortunately, he's shorter than most foals so I don't think he's going to be much of a threat unless you push him too hard. :twilightsheepish:

Insta fave. I know of the guaranteed quality here. I thinking Mr Grass is going to find Twilight a poor replacement for Ms Dewey. She is a poor librarian.

Oh hell yeah, this looks like a lot of fun. Eagerly looking forward to more.

And more is already here!

Well, that was a fairly unique way to introduce yourself to Twilight, but that's just about the best thing I can say about it. Nice one, Grassy.

I like that he is quite well known to the residents of the town.

When Mom and Dad had taken Frost into the testing room
Wait, who is this 'Frost'? Green Grass's sister is obviously named High Tides. :pinkiecrazy::trollestia:


'Already friends with all the main characters' is usually one of the things that makes OCs so awful, but it's done well here!:pinkiegasp:

I think that's probably the best possible way to get off on the wrong hoof with Twilight Sparkle.  I don't think that he needs to worry about being sent to the Moon.  That will be painless compared to what Twilight might do to him, given some of the skills she seems to have (based on 'Magic Duel').

Oh boy. You have sown nerdrage, Green Grass, and you shall reap the intellectually irate whirlwind. I envy you not one iota.

Sometimes honesty is knowing which bits of the truth to withhold for someone's own good.

Also, I doubt that apology cake's going to survive the trip to the library intact...

Nice one AJ, that was beautifully done.

The Pinkie Pie shenanigans were wonderful.


AJ ... trolololololol

Greengrass shouldn't be too worried; everypony is scared of Twilight Sparkle.  Everypony.  Especially after the Miss Smarty Pants incident. :twilightoops:

So is Green Grass dead? Wow, what a short story. Oh well off to the next project.

>>1742110  Well, that would be one way to end the story.   Next chapter:  Spike got out the dustpan and broom with a sigh.  They ran through more tutors that way....


Makes you wonder who in their right mind would marry her.

:twilightangry2: Who left the toilet seat up?!


:twilightangry2: You forgot our anniversary?!


All I can think is Fus ro da

Well, hopefully there is more than one traveling magic tutor available, I don't think this one is going to be any good anymore.

>>1742452  For Sale, one magic tutor, slightly worn.  Send self-addressed stamped envelope to....

Well, Greenie, it was nice knowing you.  Who should we send your mortal remains to? :rainbowlaugh:

Ozone makes Twilight think of her mother? Now I have a mental image of Twilight Velvet's mane and tail turning into electricity when she gets angry...

Also, I hope that icy whiteness was cake to the face. It may distract Twilight long enough for Green Grass to escape with his life and most of his limbs.


I figure that unicorn magic tastes like ozone.


Those footnotes.

Hmmm... Twilight seem rather crazy and condescending. Seems legit.  

She was beautiful.  Radiant power seemed to fill Twilight’s entire being, from her stark white eyes to a smoldering mane that flowed in a nonexistant breeze with little sparks of fire at the tips of each hair.  A crackle of ozone filled the library with a tang that seemed to catch on the back of the tongue and tingle along his spine, holding every hair on his coat on end.  Even though he was just moments from death, Green Grass could not help but stare and marvel at the power of the cosmos, ready to be unleashed.  On him.

:rainbowderp: Man, he really likes to live on the edge.

I love that Spike knew exactly what to do with zero hesitation. There's a time for trying to calm Twilight down gently, and a time to just get the fire extinguisher.

the other of which had just ‘coincidently’ sent a young noble colt to town.

He lives in a traveling library, Twilight, he lives in a traveling library.

Bets on Twilight having fallen asleep Green Grass's cart reading the book.

Oooohhh, that kind of 'marble chip cake' :facehoof:

“I hear you met our town’s resident dragon.”

“Yeah, and Spike too,”


One lulled to sleep by tilting at windmills, the other too drunk to notice his bed being occupied.

They fight crime!

Love the bit where Grass is enraptured by the lethal majesty that is enraged Twilight. If I wasn't shipping these two before, I certainly would be now.

Also, is it wrong that I want the Who's Who of Equestrian nobility to be called "Derp's Peerage"? :derpytongue2:

Ah, the ever addicting site They Fight Crime! , many hours of my life were destroyed there.

Actually I thought of her doing a 'Hulk-fighting-Loki' moment, but the results would be... messy.

*wham!* *wham!* *wham!* *wham!* *wham!*

Dear Princess Celestia,

Can you help me hide a body?

Your Faithful Accomplice,

Twilight Sparkle

Dear Princess Celestia,

Can you help me hide a body?

Your Faithful Accomplice,

Twilight Sparkle

My faithful student.

I knew this day would come and I'm just so proud! Your first ponyslaughter or did you skip straight to Murder?

Anyway I have a certain advantage of being able to send any anoying bodies to the moon (I'm looking at you Loona) might I suggest burial, I'm sure your friend Applejack has some empty land, or maybe dear Fluttershy has come carnivorous friends who can help, maybe even Pinky Pie?

I can't wait to receive a further friendship report on this matter, remember friends who kill together stay together?

Your mentor

Princess Celestia

Damned if he does, damned if he doesn't.

I'm sure he'll get a nice gravestone.

Just going to give fair warning, you're one good update away from a favorite.

You tease :raritydespair:

Now, the question is, will this dig him in deeper with Twilight, or will it lead to bonding of the awkward 'let us never speak of this again' type?

I love how he basically spent the entire chapter very carefully panicking.

Welp, this story was fun while it lasted. Shame about the main character's imminent demise.

…and that's how Equestria was destroyed. :pinkiecrazy:

"Where's Green Grass? Well he's over there... and over there... Ooh! There's some over here too! And what's that...? Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's a bit on the rug too..."

Seriously, I suspect that Twilight is going to be too horribly embarrassed to be angry... after a while.  She's going to panic first and assume that she got stoned or something and slept with him without knowing it.

I loved the dream/nightmare sequence, BTW.  I'm pretty sure that every stallion who's looked sideways at Twilight has had that nightmare.

Oh look, he didn't die :pinkiehappy:

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! There is a lot to explore here with cool and funny stuations. More story please.:twilightangry2::facehoof::moustache::trollestia:

:rainbowlaugh: Oh man, no death, but six months of Masters research down the drain. Ouch.

Dang, is Twilight persistent when she wants a book or what. And that out of context dialog!

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