Bad Horse

Joined April 2012
114,094 story views
32m, 51s ago

Favourite sweet

  • The King of Carrot Flowers The so-called Slender Pony exists in the minds of most as a murderous beast. (Fluttershy-centric.) by ShadowBoxingKing 1,890 words · 1,314 views · 109 likes · 3 dislikes
  • Thou Goddess Scansion wakes up to find beautiful poems he doesn't remember writing. Is the lonely goddess of the night reaching out to him in the only way she can, or is he chasing shadows? by horizon 5,174 words · 2,536 views · 431 likes · 12 dislikes
  • A Canterlot Carol Dotted Line discovers the true meaning of Hearthwarming, mostly by accident. by GhostOfHeraclitus 6,464 words · 4,861 views · 656 likes · 6 dislikes
  • The Best Night Ever Grand Galloping Gala meets Groundhog Day time-loop by Capn_Chryssalid 53,935 words · 32,523 views · 3,451 likes · 48 dislikes
  • Princess Celestia Hates Tea Seriously, a lot. by Skywriter 8,536 words · 38,652 views · 3,583 likes · 54 dislikes

Favorite savory

  • Eternal Princess Celestia and Twilight Sparkle's bond is tested by miscommunication and guilt. by device heretic 159,827 words · 23,923 views · 2,352 likes · 56 dislikes
  • Biblical Monsters "Put your boots on," Adams said. "There's a biblical monster in my house." by Horse Voice 10,946 words · 11,148 views · 1,376 likes · 144 dislikes
  • 'Destiny' and Other Lies Told to Foals Twilight wakes in the middle of the night, haunted by a terrifying dream—one that's not so hard to see coming true. by Sunchaser 10,644 words · 3,815 views · 538 likes · 20 dislikes
  • The Arbitrage of Moments When you have so little, and another has so much, it’s easy to justify theft. The more precious the commodity, the easier it is to tell yourself you need it more than they do. And what is more precious than time? by GaPJaxie 12,168 words · 2,114 views · 262 likes · 10 dislikes
  • Kaleidoscope Somepony struggles to remember their childhood. But something's wrong... by TheVulpineHero1 3,085 words · 1,341 views · 190 likes · 3 dislikes

Featured on Equestria Daily

  • Moving On Celestia has taken on a new private student, and Twilight must find something to be other than the Faithful Student. But how? by Bad Horse 9,259 words · 2,883 views · 403 likes · 23 dislikes
  • Sisters Stories about two sisters who are best friends, and rulers of Equestria by Bad Horse 6,514 words · 13,322 views · 1,295 likes · 18 dislikes
  • Mortality Report Celestia writes a report to her queen about what she's learned from living among mortals. by Bad Horse 4,313 words · 17,895 views · 1,478 likes · 27 dislikes
  • Long Distance It's a long way from Canterlot to Ponyville, even for magic. by Bad Horse 3,704 words · 2,455 views · 150 likes · 5 dislikes
  • The Saga of Dark Demon King Ravenblood Nightblade, Interior Design Alicorn Should the incredibly powerful new alicorn pursue his destiny as savior of Equestria, or his love of interior design? by Bad Horse 4,940 words · 10,147 views · 806 likes · 34 dislikes

Other stories I'm not entirely ashamed of

  • The Magician and the Detective Has Holmes met his match, in either sense, in the travelling showpony Trixie? by Bad Horse 14,685 words · 5,117 views · 299 likes · 9 dislikes
  • The Twilight Zone 16. Self Image (Twilight, Rarity): Is beauty really only skin deep? by Bad Horse 12,612 words · 3,858 views · 395 likes · 18 dislikes
  • Friends, With Occasional Magic The magic of friendship is showing people the good in themselves. Sometimes, with ponies. by Bad Horse 2,857 words · 704 views · 69 likes · 8 dislikes
  • Fluttershy's Night Out Fluttershy would like to be a tree. But she doesn't want to be an animal. by Bad Horse 7,936 words · 11,394 views · 471 likes · 20 dislikes
  • Twenty Minutes Would you risk your life to save a stranger? What if you could only save her for twenty minutes? by Bad Horse 3,344 words · 2,220 views · 132 likes · 5 dislikes

Index librorum prohibitorum

  • Old friendsPhilomena is reborn after she dies. Ponies are reborn before they die. Kind of. A little. It's hard for a phoenix to understand.1,582 words ·1,470 views ·248 likes ·9 dislikes
  • ἘλπίςEquestria is gone. But Celestia still has work to do. The Road lies ahead of her, and at its end—the most difficult decision of her life. Again. 2nd place in the "History Repeats" write-off.2,566 words ·1,415 views ·176 likes ·13 dislikes
  • KeepersBerry Punch made a mistake, and now she has a problem. A little problem that could grow into a big problem. But as her artist friend Happy shows her, not all mistakes need fixing.1,197 words ·468 views ·84 likes ·2 dislikes
  • Bad Horse's Bedtime Stories for Impressionable Young Colts and FilliesBad Horse retells bedtime stories to teach foals the real facts of life.2,642 words ·1,197 views ·238 likes ·7 dislikes
  • ExperienceCelestia is thousands of years old, and has experienced almost everything the world has to offer. But there's one ordinary thing she's never experienced.1,289 words ·4,062 views ·644 likes ·15 dislikes
  • MomentsPractice makes perfect. And Princess Twilight wants everything to be perfect. Especially the end of the world.8,326 words ·2,473 views ·386 likes ·27 dislikes
  • Happy EndingAfter seeing the destiny of the son he is to have with Rarity, Blueblood tries to change the future for the better.3,827 words ·2,555 views ·222 likes ·21 dislikes
  • All the Pretty Pony Princesses...or, "Magical Mystery Cure" if it had been written by Joss Whedon.1,926 words ·1,182 views ·72 likes ·22 dislikes
  • Alicorn CiderBig Mac is a farmer, always has been a farmer, and always will be a farmer... right?2,256 words ·6,285 views ·314 likes ·22 dislikes
  • Long DistanceIt's a long way from Canterlot to Ponyville, even for magic.3,704 words ·2,455 views ·150 likes ·5 dislikes
  • Moving OnCelestia has taken on a new private student, and Twilight must find something to be other than the Faithful Student. But how?9,259 words ·2,883 views ·403 likes ·23 dislikes
  • The Corpse BrideFluttershy's love has kept Equestria safe from Discord ... till death do them part. But what happens after that?2,765 words ·3,697 views ·218 likes ·13 dislikes
  • TrustCelestia teaches Trixie a lesson about trust.2,353 words ·3,071 views ·195 likes ·13 dislikes
  • Fluttershy's Night OutFluttershy would like to be a tree. But she doesn't want to be an animal.7,936 words ·11,394 views ·471 likes ·20 dislikes
  • Mortality ReportCelestia writes a report to her queen about what she's learned from living among mortals.4,313 words ·17,895 views ·1,478 likes ·27 dislikes

I'm not misunderstood. I'm just bad.

Do YOU want to join the Evil League of Evil?

There are two ways to join:

1.  Demonstrate your heinous nature through crimes and malicious acts disruptive to the fabric of society  Please, no tying people to railroad tracks or kidnapping sidekicks.  We get a dozen of those every week.  Show some creativity, or at least an ironic self-awareness of your lack thereof.  Legitimate evil activity include tumblring Dolan comics or writing alicorn OC fiction.  Document all evil activity and submit to the Evil League of Evil headquarters in Washington, D.C.

2.  Click the "Follow" button on this page.

Don't hesitate to comment on my stories! If you see something you like, or don't like, or have an idea how to make it better, say so. If you don't comment because you come in thru EqD or Spacebattles & haven't ever bothered to make a fimfiction account--stop that! It's pretty damn selfish. Make an account. It takes about thirty seconds.

We read every submission

With predatory grins

We've got the supplication that you just sent in

It needs evaluation before it's in the bin

Let's see if plots maintain their course

Good grammar would be nice of course

Bad Prose

Bad Prose

Bad Prose

It's Bad

(From "Bad Prose" by Sordid Euphemism.)

If you know of any brony groups or events around Washington DC, let me know.  I based my avatar on a drawing by kim1486.


Somepony asked a while ago for an index to my blog posts. Here it is. I put it on my user page, so you can always find it there. It's mostly in reverse-chronological order, newest first, but I tried to put the best posts in each section first, and to list posts after other posts that they refer back to.

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Bad Horse · 582 views · Edited 16w, 3d ago · Report

Evil League of Evil official business

#1415143 · 3d, 53m ago · · ·

Bad Horse

Bad Horse

Bad Horse

He rides across the nation

The thoroughbred of sin

He got the application

That you just sent in

It needs evaluation

So let the games begin

A heinous crime, a show of force

A murder would be nice of course

Bad Horse

Bad Horse

Bad Horse

He’s Bad

The Evil League of Evil

Is watching so beware

The grade that you receive

Will be your last we swear

So make the Bad Horse gleeful

Or he’ll make you his mare...

You’re saddled up

There’s no recourse

It’s Hi-Ho Silver

Signed, Bad Horse!

#1405627 · 1w, 1d ago · · ·


Coffee shop. He told me you two were best friends.

#1405469 · 1w, 1d ago · · ·

>>1400127 Where did you see my dread nemesis, Doctor Australopithecine Cyborg?

#1368616 · 3w, 5d ago · · ·

>>1368610 I think we're more like the school newspaper table.

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First drafts and illegal stories

Evil League of Evil membership roster (secret!)

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Bad Horse follows 134 members