Source

Wanted, dead or alive

Shagbark Shagbark@ponyfictionarchive.net
User ID: 25,781
Registered: 11th Apr 2012
Last Seen: 14h, 15m ago
Story views: 59,074

Do YOU want to join the Evil League of Evil?

There are two ways to join:

1.  Demonstrate your heinous nature through crimes and malicious acts disruptive to the fabric of society  Please, no tying people to railroad tracks or kidnapping sidekicks.  We get a dozen of those every week.  Show some creativity, or at least an ironic self-awareness of your lack thereof.  Legitimate evil activity include tumblring Dolan comics or writing alicorn OC fiction.  Document all evil nice activity and submit to the Evil League of Evil headquarters in Washington, D.C.

2.  Click the "Watch" button on this page.

He rides across the nation, the thoroughbred of sin

He got the application that you just sent in

It needs evaluation, so let the games begin

A heinous crime, a show of force

A murder would be nice of course

Bad Horse, Bad Horse, Bad Horse --

He’s Bad!

The Evil League of Evil is watching so beware

The grade that you receive will be your last we swear

So make the Bad Horse gleeful or he’ll make you his mare...

You’re saddled up, there’s no recourse

It’s Hi-Ho Silver

Signed, Bad Horse

If you know of any brony groups or events around Washington DC, let me know.  I based my avatar on a drawing by kim1486.

Evil League of Evil official business

#486230 · 3d, 22h ago · · ·
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Wait... you took your favorites back.    Oh well. Thanks for the watch!

Oops - didn't mean to do that.  Sometimes it happens when I try to click the "email updates" box :derpyderp1: - especially on a tablet.

Re-favorited now.

#450542 · 3w, 23h ago · · ·
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>>450389  You made good comments on "Mortal". If you post something, I want to see it. If you don't, nothing lost.

#450389 · 3w, 1d ago · · ·
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Erm, thanks? Your attention fills me with bewildered gratitude. It's not like I wrote any stories :O

#417531 · 5w, 4d ago · · ·
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Got some serious Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde action going on lately.

#408527 · 6w, 2d ago · · ·
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>>408370  Nice! I appreciate your help in my reformation.

#408370 · 6w, 2d ago · · ·
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>>407946

It needs evaluation, so let the games begin ... dammit

Why not commence?

#407946 · 6w, 2d ago · · ·
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>>407546  There!

All reformed.   :pinkiecrazy:

#407546 · 6w, 2d ago · · ·
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Your apparent change to the side of good might be more convincing if you had changed your bio some. :trollestia:

#407022 · 6w, 3d ago · · ·
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>>405628

I think it's just fimfiction.net's aggressive caching in this case. Try with wget or a browser you never use.

#405628 · 6w, 3d ago · · ·
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>>405624  No, not the image header, your avatar.  It's got two distinctly different looks, at multiple sizes.  I've seen stuff like this done before, but I want to know how to do it.

5 25781

Unreleased

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The lives of Lori and her friends aren't perfect. Lori and her friends aren't perfect. But with ponies, she can show them all the best in themselves.
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100
[Romance] [Tragedy] [Dark] [Random]
All's well that ends well... right?
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[Sad] [Slice of Life]
Sometimes your best just isn't good enough.
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[Romance] [Dark]

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Ones that came out pretty well

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One brony finds himself with the help of a bag of mushrooms and some ponies. It's not a good thing.
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Featured on Equestria Daily

[Romance] [Sad] [Crossover] [Adventure]
Has Holmes met his match, in either sense, in the travelling showpony Trixie?
2015
[Comedy] [Random] [Slice of Life]
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Celestia writes a report to her queen about what she's learned from living among mortals.
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Fluttershy would like to be a tree. But she doesn't want to be an animal.
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Index librorum prohibitorum


Moving On

Twenty years later, Celestia has for the second time taken on a new private student.  Twilight can no longer be the Faithful Student, but feels she has failed to become anything else.  She must find out what and who she now is—and the difference between these things.

(Non-Twilicorn universe.)

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9,259 words ( 7 chapters ) · 2,100 views  ·  333  ·  19  · 

Pony Tales

Brief stories about Equestria as it might have been—or perhaps, you may suspect in your darker hours, already is.

Most-recent first:

11. The ones who walk away from Equestria (DARK): Every year, ponies leave the magical land of Equestria, and are never heard from nor mentioned again.

-----

10. Sombra's Curse (comedy): The terrible curse Sombra unleashed that made him king, and stole his soul!

-----

9. The Pony: Once upon a midnight dreary, while I clicked weak and weary,

Thru many a vile and bilious image on slash-b of yore...

-----

8. Game of Immortals (Celestia, Discord; dark comedy):  Celestia likes to win—no matter which side she plays.

-----

7. Twenty-one! (Pinkie Pie, Twilight; comedy, horror?):  Twilight discovers the danger of asking Pinkie "why?"

-----

6. The Pony Side (comedy):  Darth Vader has more important things to share with Luke than who his father is.

-----

5. No Regrets (sad):  Looking back on her life, Twilight remembers how she treated Derpy, and faces some unpleasant truths about herself.

-----

4. Shipping Costs (comedy):  If you knew you were about to meet Celestia in the next life, you might ask yourself:  Did you leave the world a better place?  Did your friends know you loved them?  Should you have written thirty-nine chapters of Celestia clop-fiction?

-----

3. The Green Hills of Equestria (tragedy):  Vincent's big-game hunting trip was a success ... almost.

-----

2. Mare of the Rings (Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash; comedy, LotR):  The greatest could not be trusted with the Ring.  So Gandalf sought out the humblest.  Maybe too humble....

-----

1. Happy Thoughts (horror):  Her sun, happy to be in its place in the sky, wrapped the land in its warm embrace, and flowers bloomed in her hoofprints.  Celestia smiled.  It was going to be another perfect day in Equestria.  And all she had to do was think happy thoughts.  Again.

Cover by ModeratelyDeviant@DeviantArt

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8,526 words ( 11 chapters ) · 1,671 views  ·  145  ·  8  · 

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But what happens after that?

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Trust

Trixie had made mistakes.  Trixie had lied.  Still, nopony had expected it to send Celestia into a rage.  But nopony but Celestia understood the true importance to Equestria of trust.

The second chapter begins again in the middle, and changes it so that the ending means something different.  Concept for alternate universe 2 by Chessie.

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2,353 words ( 2 chapters ) · 1,053 views  ·  97  ·  11  · 

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Or maybe something entirely different will happen.

Now on EqD. Notice the sad tag. That means it's sad.

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5,119 words ( 3 chapters ) · 8,172 views  ·  313  ·  11 · sex  · 

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Should the incredibly powerful and sexy new alicorn Dark Demon King Ravenblood Nightblade pursue his destiny as savior of Equestria, or interior design?

BASED ON AN ORIGINAL CHARACTER BY DEVICE HERETIC!!! This is my first alicron Mary Sue self-insert fic, so plz b nice. Maybe Ill write moar if ppl like it

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4,317 words ( 2 chapters ) · 8,408 views  ·  724  ·  26  · 

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Princess Celestia writes a report to her teacher on what she has learned about mortality.

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Burning Man Brony: Fear and Loathing of Equestria

Sometimes, you really can go out into the desert and find yourself with the help of a bag of mushrooms and some ponies. Sometimes, you're better off not knowing.

Reviewed by Seattle's Angels. Includes drug use and cussing.

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9,567 words ( 3 chapters ) · 996 views  ·  68  ·  5  · 

Sisters

Two silly short stories about Luna, Celestia, fashion, and legal theory.  "Slice of life stories if your life is crazy royalty cake with cinnamon sprinkles." - JadeCriminal@SpaceBattles.com

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6,515 words ( 2 chapters ) · 10,796 views  ·  1,096  ·  14  · 

Twenty Minutes

Is it worth risking your life to save a stranger?  What if you could only save her for twenty minutes?

A Fallout: Equestria side-story.

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3,344 words ( 2 chapters ) · 690 views  ·  71  ·  2  · 

The Detective and the Magician

5 stars on EqD!

To Holmes, she is always the mare.  In his eyes she eclipses the whole of her sex, and fills him with admiration and loathing.  Whether she in fact stole the Starry Night was ultimately beside the point.  What mattered to Holmes was that he had been matched at his own game, by a mare; that it had not been altogether unpleasant; and that she had caused him, however briefly, to turn his keen and unflinching gaze upon himself.

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14,179 words ( 11 chapters ) · 3,410 views  ·  201  ·  5  · 

Big Mac Reads Something Purple

Twilight asks Big MacIntosh to read to the Cutie Mark Crusaders while she runs an errand.  He's not much of a reader, but he just can't say nope to Twilight.

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Behind the Scenes

Spike is trying to film My Little Pony: Season 3, but the Elements of Harmony keep fighting, and Celestia thinks she can arrive on set late just because she's a goddess.  Not to mention the producer from Hell.  You'd think he was trying to wreck the production.

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Severus Spike

As Harry descended the stairs to the dungeon, he fumed again at Headmistress Sparkle for not finding somepony, anypony, other than Professor Spike to teach him occlumency.  The dragon wasn't just twisted and cruel - he was dangerous.  Why was she the only pony who couldn't see that?

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1,463 words · 589 views  ·  26  ·  15  · 

You can visit this wonderful housing development. (<- Click)

Looks nice, but to get in, you have to wait for one of the current residents to go away on an adventure. Also, I hear the homeowners association is very strict about lawns, outbuildings, and pet dragons.

Bad Horse · 112 views · Edited 2d, 5h ago