Favourite sweet

  • The King of Carrot Flowers The so-called Slender Pony exists in the minds of most as a murderous beast. (Fluttershy-centric.) by ShadowBoxingKing 1,890 words · 1,847 views · 134 likes · 3 dislikes
  • Thou Goddess Scansion wakes up to find beautiful poems he doesn't remember writing. Is the lonely goddess of the night reaching out to him in the only way she can, or is he chasing shadows? by horizon 5,174 words · 3,946 views · 538 likes · 13 dislikes
  • Whom the Princesses Would Destroy... Behind the scenes of a perfectly normal visit to Canterlot lies chaos. Also, custard. by GhostOfHeraclitus 19,758 words · 32,030 views · 2,494 likes · 34 dislikes
  • The Best Night Ever Grand Galloping Gala meets Groundhog Day time-loop by Capn_Chryssalid 53,935 words · 48,087 views · 4,378 likes · 66 dislikes
  • Princess Celestia Hates Tea Seriously, a lot. by Skywriter 8,536 words · 46,800 views · 4,213 likes · 69 dislikes

Favorite savory

  • Eternal Princess Celestia and Twilight Sparkle's bond is tested by miscommunication and guilt. by device heretic 159,827 words · 30,165 views · 2,715 likes · 62 dislikes
  • Biblical Monsters "Put your boots on," Adams said. "There's a biblical monster in my house." by Horse Voice 10,946 words · 13,702 views · 1,598 likes · 158 dislikes
  • 'Destiny' and Other Lies Told to Foals Twilight wakes in the middle of the night, haunted by a terrifying dream—one that's not so hard to see coming true. by Sunchaser 10,644 words · 5,317 views · 604 likes · 20 dislikes
  • The Arbitrage of Moments When you have so little, and another has so much, it’s easy to justify theft. The more precious the commodity, the easier it is to tell yourself you need it more than they do. And what is more precious than time? by GaPJaxie 12,168 words · 2,809 views · 332 likes · 10 dislikes
  • Kaleidoscope Somepony struggles to remember their childhood. But something's wrong... by TheVulpineHero1 3,085 words · 1,818 views · 218 likes · 3 dislikes

Featured on Equestria Daily

  • Moving On Celestia has taken on a new private student, and Twilight must find something to be other than the Faithful Student. But how? by Bad Horse 9,259 words · 3,357 views · 442 likes · 24 dislikes
  • Sisters Stories about two sisters who are best friends, and rulers of Equestria by Bad Horse 6,514 words · 15,195 views · 1,378 likes · 21 dislikes
  • Mortality Report Celestia writes a report to her queen about what she's learned from living among mortals. by Bad Horse 4,322 words · 20,474 views · 1,596 likes · 30 dislikes
  • Long Distance It's a long way from Canterlot to Ponyville, even for magic. by Bad Horse 3,704 words · 3,239 views · 173 likes · 8 dislikes
  • The Saga of Dark Demon King Ravenblood Nightblade, Interior Design Alicorn Should the incredibly powerful new alicorn pursue his destiny as savior of Equestria, or his love of interior design? by Bad Horse 4,940 words · 11,572 views · 870 likes · 35 dislikes

Other stories I'm not entirely ashamed of

  • The Magician and the Detective Has Holmes met his match, in either sense, in the travelling showpony Trixie? by Bad Horse 14,788 words · 6,614 views · 363 likes · 9 dislikes
  • The Twilight Zone 25. Necessary Evil: Lord Tirek will return to wreak havoc on Equestria... when he is needed again. by Bad Horse 18,177 words · 5,920 views · 593 likes · 25 dislikes
  • Friends, With Occasional Magic The magic of friendship is showing people the good in themselves. Sometimes, with ponies. by Bad Horse 2,857 words · 1,041 views · 87 likes · 8 dislikes
  • Fluttershy's Night Out Fluttershy would like to be a tree. But she doesn't want to be an animal. by Bad Horse 7,920 words · 13,318 views · 561 likes · 19 dislikes
  • Twenty Minutes Would you risk your life to save a stranger? What if you could only save her for twenty minutes? by Bad Horse 3,344 words · 3,878 views · 202 likes · 6 dislikes

Index librorum prohibitorum

  • E Breaking Peeved

    After Zephyr finally gets a job, Dash points out that Fluttershy still hasn't got one. So where's her money coming from?  · Bad Horse
    4,571 words · 2,884 views  ·  321  ·  36
  • E The Gift of Lethe

    Rarity gives Celestia the most generous, most terrible anniversary present she's ever received.  · Bad Horse
    1,168 words · 1,026 views  ·  115  ·  20
  • E The Gathering

    In the stars, a hundred years' journey away, the alicorns gather, to mourn, mate, and birth. Celestia hears their call. Dotted Line wants her to review tax rebate applications.  · Bad Horse
    1,172 words · 2,887 views  ·  455  ·  6
  • T Do That Again

    The day after Hearth's Warming, Snowfall Frost thinks back to her encounter with Applejack and decides that maybe she hasn't learned her lesson, not entirely. Maybe she needs a refresher.  · Bad Horse
    2,917 words · 2,495 views  ·  368  ·  17 · sex
  • E Twinkie

    Silly stories about Twilight and Pinkie.  · Bad Horse
    2,173 words · 555 views  ·  88  ·  0
  • E Displacement

    How I found the emptiness of unbeing in my subjective destitution after I dressed up for a costume party as the semiotic psychoanalyst Jacques Lacan.  · Bad Horse
    3,338 words · 702 views  ·  116  ·  16
  • T The Mailmare

    The Equestrian Postal Carrier's Hoofbook lists three circumstances under which mail service may be suspended. The end of the world is not one of them.  · Bad Horse
    11,959 words · 1,948 views  ·  281  ·  4
  • T Old Friends

    Philomena is reborn after she dies. Ponies are reborn before they die. Kind of. It's hard for a bird to understand.  · Bad Horse
    1,582 words · 2,267 views  ·  329  ·  10
  • T Ἐλπίς

    Equestria is gone. But Celestia still has work to do. The Road lies ahead of her, and at its end—the most difficult decision of her life. Again. 2nd place in the "History Repeats" write-off.  · Bad Horse
    2,566 words · 2,375 views  ·  272  ·  17 · gore
  • T Keepers

    Berry Punch made a mistake, and now she has a problem. A little problem that could grow into a big problem. But as her artist friend Happy shows her, not all mistakes need fixing.  · Bad Horse
    1,197 words · 903 views  ·  124  ·  3 · sex
  • T Bad Horse's Bedtime Stories for Impressionable Young Colts and Fillies

    Bad Horse retells bedtime stories to teach foals the real facts of life.  · Bad Horse
    6,006 words · 2,662 views  ·  384  ·  9
  • E Experience

    Celestia is thousands of years old, and has experienced almost everything the world has to offer. But there's one ordinary thing she's never experienced.  · Bad Horse
    1,289 words · 5,421 views  ·  770  ·  17
  • T Moments

    Practice makes perfect. And Princess Twilight wants everything to be perfect. Especially the end of the world.  · Bad Horse
    8,269 words · 3,596 views  ·  475  ·  26
  • E Happy Ending

    After seeing the destiny of the son he is to have with Rarity, Blueblood tries to change the future for the better.  · Bad Horse
    3,827 words · 3,429 views  ·  270  ·  24
  • T All the Pretty Pony Princesses

    ...or, "Magical Mystery Cure" if it had been written by Joss Whedon.  · Bad Horse
    1,926 words · 1,741 views  ·  90  ·  25 · sex

Join me, and together we shall rule the world. Mostly me, though.

Do YOU want to join the Equestrian League of Evil?

There are two ways to join:

1.  Demonstrate your heinous nature through crimes and malicious acts disruptive to the fabric of society.  Please, no tying people to railroad tracks or kidnapping sidekicks.  We get a dozen of those every week.  Legitimate evil activities include tumblring Dolan comics or writing alicorn OC fiction.  Document all evil activity and submit to the Equestrian League of Evil headquarters in Washington, D.C.

2.  Click the "Follow" button on this page.

Don't hesitate to comment on my stories! If you see something you like, or don't like, or think could be better, say so. If you don't comment because you come in thru EqD or Spacebattles & haven't bothered to make a fimfiction account--stop that! It's pretty damn selfish. Make an account. It takes thirty seconds.

We read every submission

With predatory grins

We've got the supplication that you just sent in

It needs evaluation before it's in the bin

Let's see if plots maintain their course

Good grammar would be nice of course

Bad Prose

Bad Prose

Bad Prose

It's Bad

(From "Bad Prose" by Sordid Euphemism.)

I based my avatar on a drawing by kim1486.

Stud services available.  Send photographs for prices.

🎩

🐎

May
30th
2014

Fimfiction provides no easy way to find old blog posts, so this index will always be on my user page. Each list is mostly in chronological or reverse-chronological order.

I've added a few good blog posts by other people.

Read More
Report Bad Horse · 2,076 views · #Bad Horse #blog #index
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#376 · 2d, 5h ago · · ·

>>2253885 Hah!

Actuallly, the New Yorker will never publish me.  People have done analyses of who gets published in the New Yorker.  You have to be friends with people on the staff of the New Yorker, or else very famous.  They've sometimes gone decades without publishing any unsolicited stories.

#375 · 2d, 8h ago · · ·

5 years until the New Yorker publishes you? If the world was just you'd have a permanent column.

#373 · 1w, 4d ago · · ·

YOU CANNOT ESCAPE MY SHUTTER.

~Skeeter The Lurker

#372 · 1w, 5d ago · · ·

Met this "Bad Horse" fellow at BronyCon 2016. Badness level rated 5/7; author failed to give me black eye, but would attend sleepy cocktail party with again.

  • Viewing 372 - 376 of 376
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Drafts

Favourites

  • E Obiter Dicta

    A collection of short stories, vignettes, and deleted scenes, mostly based in the Civil Serviceverse and tending to be either slice of life or comedy.  · GhostOfHeraclitus
    25,311 words · 5,687 views  ·  709  ·  12
  • T Dystopian Circus

    When time is up and the end is nigh, what will Celestia decide?  · Pearple Prose
    4,241 words · 2,345 views  ·  203  ·  37
  • E Ponyville & Other Poems

    A collection of poems by and about the various inhabitants of Ponyville  · AugieDog
    13,880 words · 1,416 views  ·  107  ·  3
  • E Would It Matter If I Was?

    In the wake of the Canterlot Wedding, Fluttershy has to ask Twilight a very difficult question.  · GaPJaxie
    2,361 words · 17,824 views  ·  2,787  ·  202
  • T The New Crop

    With the Apple family deep in debt, Big Mac climbs into the ring once again to save the farm. Now all that’s between him and the two-thousand-bit winner’s purse is some unicorn named Blueblood. Things are about to get ugly.  · xjuggernaughtx
    15,885 words · 985 views  ·  149  ·  5
  • T Let Me Tell You About the Hole in My Face

    Applejack tells you her only secret. It is about a hole. The hole in her face. The breathing, living hole in her face. (Inspired by the cover image and a recurring dream)  · Slavoj Zizek
    1,187 words · 2,022 views  ·  194  ·  15
  • E In Celestia We Trust, All Others Pay Cash

    Ice Cream, so sweet, so delicious. Who would have thought a simple ice cream cone would have the power to nearly topple the financial basis of Equestria?  · Georg
    2,798 words · 14,542 views  ·  1,601  ·  20
  • E A War of Words - The Opening of the Guard

    Diplomacy, gender and sisterhood in conflict, as reflected in memo form  · Georg
    3,691 words · 10,212 views  ·  951  ·  12
  • T The Carnivore's Prayer

    It is their nature  · Cold in Gardez
    9,679 words · 5,900 views  ·  628  ·  13 · gore
  • T They Call Me Flightless Fury

    What is it like to fly? Delve into the mind of a monster and find out.  · ArgonMatrix
    1,049 words · 1,673 views  ·  145  ·  2

Evil League of Evil membership roster (secret!)

1,338 members follow Bad Horse

Bad Horse follows 202 members