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Trixie had made mistakes. Trixie had lied. Still, nopony had expected it to send Celestia into a rage. But nopony but Celestia understood the true importance to Equestria of trust.
Reading by AShadowOfCygnus here.
Reading by obabscribbler here.
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It might be just me, but I tend to prematurely stop reading stories in which Celestia goes into rage-bitch mode. It's just way too out-of-character for my canon-minded brain to wrap itself around. Happily, I kept reading this one, and I'm glad I did. It's a very well-written story, and now my mind is wanting to know what is going to happen to Trixie now that she's put out of Celestia's presence. Well done.
Da fuq? How the hell did it transition to that?
This is brilliant Celestia is in the same position as Trixie would have been if she continued with her lies.
I see what you did with that chapter name.
A dark fic? Featuring my favourite antagonist? By an author already known by me?
mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw1126_my-little-pony-friendship-is-magic-brony-im-with-twilight-on-this-one.gif
Yup. Totally didn't see that coming....
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Now that is an interesting take on a few concepts.
Definitely appropriate AU tag, but nice concept all around.
Not gonna fave it because there wasn't much story to it other than the concept, even though the scenes were written well.
Don't really get the bit about Shining teaching his shield.
Well, lordy.
Do you know what this means?
Lies are the enemy of Equestria. Which means...
APPLEJACK IS BEST PONY. Element of Honesty represent.
I'm not sure I entirely get the point. I'm fairly certain that Celestia talking about creating a web of lies that is impossible to escape from is actually her talking about herself, and I'm thinking this might be Celestia as a changeling, but that's all I got
What happened here? I'm going to need an immediate sitrep.
What the hell? I see too many suggestions, she could be talking about trust, or she could know what is going to happen in the future. She could be a changeling herself, but so many things don't add up to that. She could be regretting her own lies (hypocrite) or she could be trying to make sure that her lies stay together. She might be trying to save Trixie from the Changelings (if she can see the future) or she could be sick of her reflection...
GAH!!!
Well you got my thumbs and gold star. Now to read your other works.
What? ... *scrolls up, rereads*
Oh.
1459114
Because Celestia is a pretender and will not be able to defend Canterlot in case of an invasion if Shining Armor's shield fails or if Shining Armor is not around but on his honeymoon.
That was very well done.
Does anyone happen to know of any other stories where Celestia doesn't actually raise the sun?
So....she doesn't want another bull(REDACTED) artist running around starting a rebellion, eh?
Bad Horse, you're a great writer, but ... I'm really struggling here to find the one crucial clue that will click into place and make all this make sense for me.
((SPOILERS))
It seems clear on a second pass that Celestia is trying to stop Trixie from making the same mistake she did and building the "cage out of lies". Given the severity of Celestia's reaction, it seems like in the process she's digging herself in that much deeper -- simultaneously trying to give Trixie a second chance that she didn't get, and resenting her deeply for it.
What I don't get is the changeling part. It seems wholly extraneous. However, I don't think Bad Horse would have included it -- especially not that major of a point, in a story this size -- if it weren't relevant. This is a meta-clue that the answer has something to do with changelings but there's not enough context in the rest of the story to make sense of it. Is Celestia a changeling herself? (I don't think so; she's telling Shining to defend ponies from them.) Did Celestia get eaten by one? (This is the conclusion I'm leaning toward -- but she demonstrably cares for both Trixie and the ponies under her rule, albeit in a roundabout fashion.) Was she testing Trixie for changelinghood? (If so, I think she passed.)
Edited to add: I really wish I knew whether in this AU the sun and moon have always moved on their own, or whether they get moved by someone-who-is-not-Celestia.
1459250 1459433
The key is the last line of the story.
HAH! Awesome! Chrysalis nabs Celestia rather than Cadence. I find this awesome and approve heartily. How did nobody else pick up on that?
-Chessie
1459619
OH SHIT
How did I not notice that?
Wow, that realization just made this so much better. Have my like, and favorite... and my first born.
Wait a second... there are some issues with consistency with cannon here... oh right AU. So the unicorns of pre-Equestria were also faking it? That would honestly make for a more interesting story. And count as satire. Wait another second... is THIS satire?
across the vast expances of space and time
the rustling of my jimmies could be heard
Unrelated but awesome: If Purslane's name is a reference to the plant, that's a goddamn subtle and clever easter egg:
In antiquity, its healing properties were thought so reliable that Pliny advised wearing the plant as an amulet to expel all evil.
1459565 You're a cynical one! You will go far.
1459609 The changelings are just there to be a terrible threat that people aren't really taking seriously because they assume Celestia can take care of everything.
1459681 That is brilliant. But I didn't pick up on it either...
1459722 Also, reputed to stave off depression. Herbal and edible wild plants are a hobby of mine! Yours too?
Hmm, interesting, and thought-provoking.
Caught in a web of one's own lies; et tu, Celestia?
I actually stopped reading partway through and skimmed the rest because 1. I didn't figure out why Celestia might have acted the way she did and 2. I didn't see that alternate universe tag. Looking at the comments to try and figure out what this story's supposed to be at all, I found this comment: 1459619 And then I read the last line.
"Oh, now I get it!"
1459800
Too much left to interpretation, I just can't do it. I feel really dissapointed. Whatever, I guess I'll follow this.
1459800
Really great story but the question is that is it truly an Alternative Universe or truth of reality, Seeing how things laid out in "The Canterlot Wedding" episode? As for dealing with Trixie, I imagine Celestia dealt with her to "eliminate" competition and have the ponies trust misdirected to her, if not reinforce the trust in her. Great touch on concept and like the idea a lot, two thumbs up my man
This got me thinking. (Granted, there isn't much else to do when you're at work.
) What does Celestia's pretending to raise the sun mean for the show's mythology. Although it has a big ol' AU tag, there is nothing in the story indicating that Celestia and Luna are not immortal (or perhaps just really long lived.), nor any indication that the Elements of Harmony are not exactly as we have seen. If those two things are in fact true, then the implications of the whole Nightmare Moon thing become much MUCH worse.
Blast it, I had a whole big ass WMG in my head a minute ago. Why do these things evaporate whenever I actually start typing.
It's a bit suspicious, isn't it, that Celestia can't handle Nightmare Moon, can't handle Discord, can't handle Chrysalis... realistically, one assumes that she simply suffers from the Worf Effect - warning, link to tvtropes, don't follow if you want to do anything else today - due to the difficulty of fitting in enough storytelling in 22 minutes.
1459565 Not to toot my own horn, but there is some similarity to my own 'Madame Butterfly' . Pluggin' ones own stories, that's a little, you know, evil, right? But it's okay here, presumably, because, well, League of, you see.
1459800 Am I stupid, or did you not write another story with a 'dark' Celestia, but one who actually had the power she claims to have? Only now I can't find it?
J.
1459800
> The changelings are just there to be a terrible threat that people aren't really taking seriously because they assume Celestia can take care of everything.
To be honest, I'd consider that a weakness in the story. An enemy that can convincingly impersonate your loved ones tends to interact with the topic of trust.
1461636 Hmm. Good point. Any ideas how?
1461600 Am I stupid, or did you not write another story with a 'dark' Celestia, but one who actually had the power she claims to have?
There are 3 dark Celestia stories in Pony Tales. Or you could have been dumpster-diving in Bad Horse's Bad Stories; there's one or two in there.
1462080
I'd forgotten that thing existed, actually. It was 'The Real Reason'. No wonder I could never find it again.
J
They're not lies, they're stories, exactly like a traveling entertainer is supposed to tell. It's not her fault those two idiots actually believed her!
(Yeah, I know, AU and not the point, I just felt like venting.)
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TRACKED!
1459800 I uncovered that one through research (I'm pretty good at faking erudition via google), so sadly I can't connect via shared hobby. Still tickled at the reference, though.
Also, re my confusion (1459609), I agree with 1461636. The changelings are a bright, tempting path that goes straight into the metaphorical weeds.
This isn't a comedy, but you're writing a story with the framework of setup -> punchline. The last line recontextualizes the entire story that came before it; we have to re-evaluate everything from that final revelation. The instant that you introduce trust issues into a story that explicitly involves changelings, that re-evaluation points to a lot of places you weren't intending to go. Note that I ruled out all of my own guesses but couldn't shake the conclusion that there was something more there, and other bright readers (e.g. 1459681) went straight for the changeling jugular.
As far as fixing it, I think all you can do is either explicitly paint the possibility as a red herring in the story*, or else change the crisis.
* Even adding something like "... as she had done every day for millennia ..." to the last line would help, since that would rule out Celestia herself being a changeling -- but because there are just too many possibilities for changeling insertion (present/past, any named character, unnamed character) I think you simply need a new problem for Celestia not to be able to handle.
1462035 Probably the most straightforward approach would be to substitute some other crisis, like a swarm of parasprites in Fillydelphia.
Nice twist at the end.
Hah, that's a nifty twist; The Great and Powerful Celestia.
Chrysalis!Celestia?
And why separate the story into three tiny chapters?
1477243 The split is because there are 2 alternate middles. Both of them have the same beginning and ending. The ending changes the meaning of the story, but differently for each of the 2 middles.
I can't really see how this connects with the ending that well, but meh.
In all honesty I rather liked it when it was all in one chapter.
1477622 It flowed better when it was all one chapter, because the breaks aren't in places where the story breaks. Maybe I should go back to 1 chapter with full story, then follow it with the alternate middle.
I'm kind of curious, did you decide to add the alternate middle just because so many people seemed to go off on that tangent? Or was it your actual intent, but you accidentally made it look like an incidental background setting next to Trixie's situation being an uncomfortable personal parable for Celestia?
1477710 did you decide to add the alternate middle just because so many people seemed to go off on that tangent?
Yes. I didn't even think of the "Celestia is a changeling" possibility when I wrote it. Then people pointed out that the changeling plot was a big red herring. But I couldn't think of any good other threat to use - the only other big threats were Nightmare Moon and Discord, and neither of them work for this. Having the alternate middle should make it more clear that that isn't what happens in the original story. Plus, I love the idea of having an ending that changes the meaning of what came before it, but does so in two different ways for the two different middles.
1477747
I am beginning to enjoy your writing style and creativity significantly.
You know, if Celestia is a conmare, then so is Luna...
Now I want to see the princesses in a Flim-Flam-Brothers style dance routine.
Sorry, but I feel as if I'm missing something
How does this connect to chapter 1 of this story, from what I remember in chapter 1, this just seems the same but with Celestia with a bigger temper 
1479422 It is meant to be a bit of a puzzle. Something is fundamentally different between the two. The clues are what Celestia says that's different, and what she knows or doesn't know. Such as names.