The so-called Slender Pony exists in the minds of most as a murderous beast, rarely talked about outside of urban legend or scary stories. His freakishly long legs, sinister black tentacles and blank expression serve to terrify ponies . . . well, most ponies, anyway.
A certain shy Pegasus who's “afraid of her own shadow,” in the words of friends and strangers alike, appears to be unfazed by his ghastly, silent demeanor. She might even say she's bedazzled by a pony who doesn't feel the need to chatter and socialize incessantly.
Chapters (1)
omgomg i actually postd somethign for the 1st tiem in weekz!!1
Before this hits the front page, I'd like to clarify that my story here isn't intended to be scary, hence the Everyone rating. Plus, just look at how cute Slendy is in the above image. If I was going for horror, I would have at least used something with more bloody eyeballs and weird-looking baby dolls.
I know this is one of those corny "misunderstood monster" motifs, so please forgive me for that. As much as I love creepypasta, stories like this, where ghosts and paranormal creatures turn out to be kind and sweet, are among my favorites.
I'm done yammering now.
959942
I like.
I must prepare for the approaching awesomeness
The concept blew my mind.
Slendy is kind of a hard beast to pin down in the ponyverse. He's cosmic horror manifest in an unassuming shape, made all the more menacing because he's just a dude in a suit. Thing is, he has no real power that we know of, except to appear menacing, cause memory problems, teleport, and ruin cheap cameras. Enough to fuck with muggles, but when you consider that Discord is more or less as powerful as Cthulu, and the Mane 6 kind of stomped him flat, Slendy stops being so scary.
But, pairing him with Fluttershy... its pure genius. Honestly, the concept alone is enough to elicit crack-fic lulz. You wouldn't believe how hard even looking at this story broke my poor friend.
As for the story itself... decent. Not mind blowing, completely out of character for Slendy, and you could call it cliche. I wouldn't. The whole "learning emotion" aspect was a completely different spin on the concept and made the story really interesting. Writing was solid and you got Fluttershy pretty down pat. All in all I give it a solid B+. Good job.
I hope you continue
Oh my god, this was amazing. An original take on the Slender Pony, and you delivered it perfectly. Definitely one of the better stories on this website.
962726
more or less as powerful as Cthulhu? thats the worst comparison ive ever had the displeasure of reading, its like comparing Cobra to Doctor Doom.
Cosmic horror isnt the correct word for him, thats reserved for the Elder gods like Zalgo and Cthulhu. He is more along the lines of a eldritch horror or abomination depending on theories.
962871
Your confusing genre with the ability to do shit. The Elder Gods aren't scary because of their awe-inspiring power, their scary because they are indifferent to anything we can do to them. Slenderman is a perfect example of this. He picks directly at all the things that make Cosmic Horror scary... by standing in the background
Even then, remember that Cthulu was only a God to us puny insects. To his people he was simply a powerful Priest-King. To the Outer Gods he was an ant. He was a rather minor figure in Lovecraft's lore, only important due to just how close he was to us.
But, let's go down the relevant facts.
> Sealed away for a long time.
> Broken free unexpectedly.
> Mere presence reshapes the world in it's image.
Yeah. Totally no comparisons to be made.
Whoa, this story is awesome! I love the way how you're writing Slender. It's a whole new way to view him. Keep up the great work, mate. Cheers!
moar
if that's okay with you
This was awesome! why do you have to end it here?
Well done.
Zero dislikes. DAMN STRAIGHT.
Great story. Very well written.
This is a wonderful story, wonderfully written. I don't believe there's such a thing as a "best" story - some shouldn't be compared to each other - but there's nothing better than this on fimfiction. Such a distinctive voice, unlike any pony in canon, yet fit into that world. Such a touching and true-to-canon use of Fluttershy. Pathos done subtly, and succinctly, as it should be. Most writers here would have stretched this out to 6,000 words or more. This story is not sparse or stingy with words, yet it's very compact. Every word contributes directly to the theme.
You didn't add it to groups. You need to add your story to the right groups on the day you release it, preferably just after it scrolls off the front page, to have a chance at the feature box. I'm going to add it to some now. Also, this could have the Romance tag. Readers like the Romance tag. (But GoH is right; it probably shouldn't.)
Blind people might object to this: "The concept of history evades me, with neither sight nor articulation to ascribe it meaning, rendering my innermost thoughts as invisible as the passing wind." People without sight have no such problem.
"Ironically, her notorious icy stare is only incapable of provoking me." - Her stare does the opposite of provoke.
Marvelous story. I thank my lucky stars[1] I chanced upon it. Have a thumbs-up & a follow.
1066980
I don't think it's romance. It could be, certainly, but I think it's really about friendship. Bizarrely, a story about Slenderpony is actually remarkably akin in tone to the show itself.
[1] Mostly in the constellation of Malus Equus, if you get my drift.[2]
[2] I apologize for that pun. The people responsible have been sacked.
This was absolutely amazing and breathtaking and severely touching. I have none of the correct words to do this amazing, unusual story justice.
1067276
Look, let's not tread on each others' specialties. You give advice on how to create art; I give advice on how to prostitute that art in exchange for the adoration of the masses.
Exceptional, sir. Simply exceptional.
You're aware of these videos, or at least of this game, correct?
Well, this story has now completely ruined the game for me... THANK YOU!!! I CAN SLEEP AGAIN!!!
But seriously though, this was excellent. It reminds me a little of Tales of Symphonia, when the girl lost her voice and had to talk by writing letters in the boy's hand. And ToS is my favorite story in existence. Congratulations, sir, you deserve the Featured Box, all 10 slots.
962726
Thank you so much for recommending my fic to others. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it, being a relative unknown in the huge archive of incredible works that is FIMFiction. I'm glad you enjoyed it, and I hope those who were linked to it through your recommendation or Bad Horse's also find it to be worth reading. Which brings me to my next comment response...
1066980
You probably already got my PM, but thanks again for the shout-out on your blog! It truly made my day, and your critique has certainly been taken into consideration. I suppose I was trying to attribute Slendy's difficulty in understanding the importance of history to his lack of social interaction more than his lack of sight, but goofed it up. Believe me when I say it's the first flaw that sticks out when I reread this.
Her stare does the opposite of provoke. Same story, couldn't think of a better word.
1071618
Well, this story has now completely ruined the game for me... THANK YOU!!! I CAN SLEEP AGAIN!!!
Always happy to be of service.
I find the best way to ruin a good creepypasta is by making it cute or funny. For example, I used to be terrified of that Squidward's Suicide picture (yeah, I know, lame; lol don't judge me) until I photoshopped it with party hats and aviators and stuff. /off-topic
Hopefully one day I'll get that featured spot, but I dunno about all ten slots. Haha. Thanks for the kind words, though I feel obligated out of Internet Honesty™ to let you and 1067546 know I'm not a "sir." But that's okay, no offense taken or anything, since I have a weird username and my avatar is now Hugo Weaving.
To everyone else who commented, faved or watched: Bear hugs all around.
api.ning.com/files/yoGU*sWDg*D02C9GNP15zs9z2ZBNKEVTMPlOCvYn6zXhKCJwLNCdWf7*W2KUajIuW-gRLwKQxMIY9lMHKzCCd6NtXeEKxLGZ/bearhug2.jpg
If we still had favorites, this would be one of the few stories in it ;_;
(the current list is equivalent to "Stuff that isn't garbage" for me)
I never thought I'd read a story that portrayed Slenderman in a tragic or sympathetic light, but you did it! The writing was splendid, fluid and the concept was intriguing. Fluttershy was pretty much In character. And I do like how it was less a telling of events and more a telling of thoughts and emotions.
Might I suggest submitting this to EqD? I know they might be beginning to see the Slenderpony as an overused plot device, but such a unique spin as this might grab their interests.
All this said, it doesn't change the fact that the Slenderman still scares the ever-living crud out of me.
Well, I liked that alot. Nice stories like this... they increase my mood. A world without conflict, a world with misunderstood creatures who only want to be like us. PONIES.
1071618 *SCREAM* AHHHHHHHHHH!
this is the best slenderman(pony) fanfic i have read. keep it up.
Slendy X Shy? This I have to read.
i1084.photobucket.com/albums/j412/bookplayer/ThankYoucopy.jpg
Your story was added to The Dreamers in the folder Dreams of Hope.
MOAR!!!!!
While I seem to be a bit tardy in finding this story I just wanted to convey my compliments on a well written alternative take on Slendy. And to offer a small critique: You have (him?) describe his feeding as a "strange form of photosynthesis" Photosynthesis refers to gaining energy from light while (he?) gains energy from other organisms, so more like a Saprotrophism. Anyway terminology aside I very much enjoyed your story.
I know what it is like to be seen like I'm a freak or monster, sigh.....maybe freak I don't know about being monster well I don't think everyone ever thought of me that way. But sometimes I see my self that way, you wold understand if you knew what dark and evil thoughts went through my head.
But if it matters to you slender mane I don't think of you as a monster and I mean it, from the bottom of my heart.
You may thank the powerhouse that is Bad Horse for pointing me your way. This was a really good read, skillfully written. It's just as Bad Horse says - the voice and the length are just right, which shows a strong grasp of the craft. Good, thought-engaging read you have here.
I enjoyed reading this story. It's written simply, but yet manages to bring across quite complex feelings and emotions.
This was so beautiful <3
a good story, but it feels like it could be more
What does the story's title have to do with the Slender Pony?