Ch. 26 - Moments turn into Weeks
The Traveling Tutor and the Librarian
Moments turn into Weeks
A faint noise of paper rustled through the interior of the wagon, a repetitive pattern that slowly worked its way through Green Grass’ mental morning fog. There was a rustle. Then a pause, as if somepony were reading what had been revealed when a page flipped over. Then another rustle, and the pattern repeated.
Green Grass managed to open one eye, taking in the angle of the bright sunshine coming through his window, the light noise of pages being flipped and the warm body draped along his back before coming to the conclusion that Twilight had not returned to her library over the night. To be honest, early morning was not where Green Grass shone intellectually, as his college⁽*⁾ records would testify.
(*) And a four page statistical summary by Twilight Velvet presently sitting inside the Ponyville Library.
—
“Good morning, sleepyhead.” Twilight’s soft voice raised the mane on the back of his neck, most probably because she leaned down to nuzzle him right behind the ears before she spoke. A series of goosepimples traveled down his spine, along with an uncontrolled twitch or two that made her giggle. “Did you have anything scheduled this morning?”
“No,” he managed to say during a yawn. “Although I had some ideas.”
She flipped another page. “Anything that would not involve writing to Princess Celestia for permission?”
“Oh, heavens. I promised that, didn’t I? No, I think my schedule is clear, M’Lady.” Her book was gently bopped against the back of his head before being snapped closed and levitated over to its reshelving spot. “Griffons, from Molting to Mating,” he read with another yawn. “Not content with luring a poor innocent tutor from Canterlot into your clutches, my devious librarian lover also has intentions to entrance some poor Griffon Tiercel into her bed. I hope he’s warm to cuddle. It’s chilly with only two under this blanket.”
“Behave, or I’ll drag that book back and give you such a whack.” She snuggled down under the blanket some more and curled up against his back with a firm grip around his chest. “Promise me you won’t do anything like last night ever again?”
“What, leave my door unlocked so strange mares— Ouch! You mean take you out on a date to a place with such low prices— Ow! You mean tell all your friends something before I tell— Owwww!”
“Getting closer,” she purred, with another bite to his ear. “Keep guessing.”
“You mean deciding to give you up in order not to hurt you, without asking you about it at all. Right?”
“Really close.” She bit down on his ear again and held on tight as he writhed to escape, although he struggled in a somewhat subdued manner as if he were afraid of actually escaping.
“Without the dependent clause?” he hazarded once the convulsions were over.
“Close enough. You deserve a reward.” The kiss she bestowed on the nibbled ear seemed to travel down his spine and lodge into one rear hoof, which continued itching and twitching long after the kiss had quit.
“I’m starting to think it was more me running away in fear of the unknown than anything,” he said with a relieved sigh as Twilight lay her head down on his shoulder moistly, leaving a cold ear. “I mean I’ve been in like before, but this is the first time I’ve ever been in lo—” His mouth stopped moving even as the words piled up behind it.
“Shush,” said Twilight quietly. “I know what you mean, but I’m afraid if I say it out loud, it will just vanish like a dream.”
“I know,” sighed Green Grass, mentally making a resolution to never tell Twilight all the details about his dream with Luna and her bedroom. “I’ve met Princess Luna briefly in a dream, I think, and any moment I expect her to come popping through our door with—”
The wagon rocked to a staggering impact that made it bounce on its springs, followed by the sound of something limply hitting the ground outside.
“Luna!” exclaimed Green Grass in a momentary panic as the wagon rocked back and forth, the bookshelves fortunately remaining intact and preventing the books from falling as they were designed.
“I just don’t know what went wrong,” said a plaintive voice from outside.
“Good morning, Ditzy,” called Twilight with a chuckle. “Did you have a delivery for the library this morning?”
“Yes.” There was a brief pause as the experienced mother considered why Twilight’s voice was coming out of Green Grass’ wagon this early in the morning. “I can bring them back later if you two want.”
“Don’tyoudare!” snapped Twilight as she zipped out from under the blanket and out the door, to return in a few minutes with boxes trailing in her wake. “I just love opening up boxes,” she chortled as she plunked down in the middle of the floor. “It feels like Hearth’s Warming all over.”
Green Grass tore open a thick envelope and hummed happily as he flipped through the pages. “On the first day of Hearth’s Warming, my true love gave to me… a job. Schedules for the rest of the month for my students, even including Sun Glimmer. I wonder how Superintendent Masters managed that one⁽¹⁾. Still nothing for the next stop on my circuit, though. One day at a time, I guess. Oh, look. Your teacher has assigned you homework.”
(1) Bloodthirsty threats for the most part, along with a promise of Divine Retribution.
—
“Gimmie!” The note was snatched from his hooves and read with rapidly decreasing enthusiasm. “Cheerilee says I have to write an apology letter to Pokey, and a hundred lines of ‘I will not drop annoying twits into perfectly good fountain water.’ Joy.”
“Live the moment. Anything for me?”
“Yes, she says if I get a good grade on my letter and my lines, she’ll give you permission to let me read a chapter of Don Rocinante out of your book.”
He thought for a moment. “Only if you’re a good little unicorn, and promise not to drop me in the fountain any more unless I really need it.”
“I’m starting to think you need it now. Here you go, this one’s for you too.”
“Oh, look,” said Green Grass lacklusterly. “Mother sent you a subscription to Modern Bridle and Foals Weekly. How nice.”
“Well, my mother sent something a lot more useful for you. Physics Today⁽²⁾ and the complete collection of Whinny Shortz Presents. We’ve got his ‘Puzzlemasters’ series, and some of the Sudoku books. Oh, and dad sent a subscription to Equestrian Trotter, as well as a stopwatch and an exercise scheduler.”
(2) Hope springs eternal in the heart of a Physics instructor with a failing student for a prospective in-law.
—
Green Grass peeked over at the rapidly growing pile of paper. “I see the schedule is already filled out for both of us.”
“That’s mom, she can’t stand to see an empty checklist. She included a diet guide and Sixty Days to a Slimmer Stallion as well as Iron Stallion Weightlifting and Iron Will’s Iron Abs too, how thoughtful.”
“Are you sure that’s from your mother? It was in this box over here.” He flipped the box over to look at the address and turned pale, before pawing through the packing material on a precautionary basis.
“The books are from Princess Luna. If there’s a permission slip in here, I’m checking my wagon for listening devices⁽³⁾.”
(3) No need. She does just fine with moonbeams.
—
* * *
“Okay, class. Remember what I said. Everypony listen to Lyra, and we’ll see how this goes.” Green Grass passed what little control of his class he had to the mint-green unicorn who smiled uncertainly at the front of the music room. Between them were all of Green Grass’ students, each one holding their musical instrument with differing levels of joy and magical ability. It had been difficult to get all of them in the same place at once with instruments, but as a class, they were starting to show quite a bit of cooperation. And this should be just the way to get them all engaged at once.
“If everypony is ready, let’s start. A one, and a two…”
An excruciating hour later, Green Grass surreptitiously slipped the earplugs out of his ears and trotted to the front of the room to ‘tag’ the exhausted music teacher. “Why don’t you take a break and I’ll see if I can get them focused on some of the classics. I brought a few records to help calm the class down.” He waited while Lyra tottered out of the room and closed the door, before going over to the record player and putting down a stack of vinyl.
Sun Glimmer, as expected, was the first one to complain. “Why do we have to listen to old dead ponies play music that went out of style before we all were even born?”
“They’re not all dead,” said Green Grass with an exaggerated wave. “I’ll have you know Elvis Przewalski lives forever in his music. As does Eddie van Hooven, and Stevie Neigh Vaughan. Now which one do we want to start up first for our All-Equestrian Air Guitar Championship?”
* * *
“Help! Save me!” The panting gasps of a certain green stallion along the road drew Applejack’s attention as she pulled her applecart in the pre-dawn gloom towards the Ponyville market. The slow, erratic hoofsteps of Green Grass eventually heralded the arrival of the slow-moving stallion himself, closely followed by a familiar unicorn with a stopwatch.
“Applejack… You gotta… Save me… She’s gonna kill… Me!” With one final wheeze, the stallion collapsed in the road in front of the farmer’s cart, one hoof flung out dramatically for succor.
“Fritter,” he gasped, before rolling on his back and holding all four legs up in the air.
“Consarn it, Twi. This is embarrassing.” Applejack looked at Twilight sternly, although a perceptive observer might have noticed a certain upward tremble in the corner of her lips. “You’ve gone and starved this poor critter nigh unto death. Now what’s the Princess gonna say if he just up and expires on ya?”
Twilight shrugged. “He’s got an older brother.”
“Engaged,” gasped Green Grass, showing remarkable mobility for one so close to death.
“Well I ain’t going to just stand here and watch you starve this poor stallion, not when I’ve got this whole cart full of food.”
“Bless you, kind mare,” gasped the green stallion, his tongue hanging out to one side of his mouth while making a gagging noise that was probably supposed to be a death rattle.
“I suppose,” started Twilight thoughtfully, “you could help me strap him to the harness, and we could both watch him pull the cart into town.”
“Hey!” One blue eye opened to watch the two treacherous mares while Green Grass remained laying upside-down in the road. “Starving stallion here. Hello?”
Twilight Sparkle rolled her eyes and dug out some bits. “Two fritters, please. One for me, and one for Tubby over there.”
“Hey, this is marbling, I’ll have you know. Insulation even. That wagon gets cold!”
“Thank ye kindly ma’am. Now if’n you can move Tubby out of the road afore I run him over and you can call him Stretch.”
“Or Pancake. I could even go for Waffle.” Green Grass opened his mouth and waved his legs around in the crisp air. “Feeeed me.”
“Mmmm. Delicious as always, Applejack.” Twilight smacked her lips as she finished her breakfast snack and waved the second fritter over Green Grass’ head. “You want?”
“Yeah!”
“Then you have to catch me!” With a giggle, Twilight trotted down the road, holding the second apple fritter over her head and waving it. Green Grass scrambled to his hooves, and took a deep breath, only to have Applejack stick an apple in his mouth and swat him on the rump.
“That oughta give you enough energy to catch her. Get on up there! Ya!”
As the green stallion trotted on down the road, Applejack returned to her morning task with a chuckle. “Ah swear them two. Every day it’s somethin’ different.”
* * *
“Hello, Rarity. Thank you for inviting me out to lunch again.” Twilight Sparkle scooted her own chair out and perused the restaurant menu as if she had not seen it dozens of times already.
“Darling, I do so love our little chats. I insist on picking up the bill again, so don’t you even think about arguing.” Rarity held the menu canted just slightly to one side so she could get a better look at her friend’s face.
Twilight glanced over the top of her menu at Rarity’s smirk before giving a sigh. “All right, I’ll ask again. Are you going to return that overdue book?”
“Moi?” The fashionista tittered⁽⁴⁾ discreetly. “Are you going to tell me all about sleeping with your handsome coltfriend? Details, darling. All the little details.”
(4) Giggle of Girlish Glee Concealing a Secret.
—
“He’s not my coltfriend. We are just working on his thesis, that’s all.” Twilight gave a sigh of frustration and closed her menu with a snap. “And why won’t you let me pay for lunch?”
Rarity waved one hoof limply. “Darling, your nice coltfriend’s fiancée paid me enough for that rag I was throwing away to buy you lunch for simply weeks, so don’t worry about it. Now, about your sleeping with that nice young stallion.”
“What makes you think I’m sleeping with him?”
Rarity nearly exploded from pent-up laughter. “Because, darling. If you weren’t sleeping with him, you would have found my overdue library book by now. I stuck it under your pillow over a week ago.”
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Rarity that was SNEAKY!! XDDDD
Rarity is truly a genius. Pity she never went evil, she would do well. As for Green Grass, c'mon man, grow a pair. If and it's a big you get trapped in Sparkle's family, it's going to be nothing but;
You need to exercise more, Green Grass.
You need to learn physics and brain teasers, Green Grass.
Why can't you be more like Shining Armor, Green Grass?
Family reunions will suck. And it's not like Twilight is Miss Olympia or anything. She could stand to lose a few.
If I was there, I would be like 'Hey, Twilight, go make me a sandwich' then I would eat her terrible, terrible sandwich and die, or she would turn into a sandwich. Either way, worth it!
Clever mare....
1929371 It's not original. I stole it, fair and square. Here's at least *one* of the sources it came from
Karl invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother eyed his beautiful roommate, suspicious that there was more than just a "roommate"
situation going on.
Karl saw her staring at Ellen. "I know what you're thinking, mom, but Ellen and I are just friends."
A week later, Ellen said, "Karl, ever since your mother came to dinner, I can't find the silver soup ladle. Surely she wouldn't have taken it, would she?"
"I really don't think so," Karl replied. "I'll write her a letter to ask, though." He got a sheet of paper, sat down, and wrote, "Dear Mom, I'm not saying you took
our silver soup ladle, and I'm not saying you didn't take it. But our soup ladle has been missing ever since you came to dinner."
A few days later, he received a reply from his mother.
"Dear son, I'm not saying that you're sleeping with Ellen, and I'm not saying that you're not sleeping with Ellen. But if she were sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the soup ladle by now. Love, Mom."
Gets two thumbs up on the LOL scale.
Nicely done, Rarity, very nicely done.
rarity, you're a sly mare.
I think I can see where this is going now. It's going to be a situation where, eventually, either Green Grass moves into the Library or Twilight Sparkle moves into the wagon full-time; they'll excuse it as being 'more efficient. Within a very short period, they'll effectively be Stallion and Wife and they won't really have noticed it until someone introduces them at a party as "The Honourable Green Grass, and his wife, Lady Twilight Sparkle". They'll be incredibly surprised and, after a few moments of dumbfounded outrage, will tell Pinkie to send out the invites to the wedding party.
1931023 (Evil chuckle) I think the Introduction in the chapter after next will make you drop your monocle (almost done).
Ahhhh. Common-law marriages. I can so see Trollestia putting a very specific codicil in Equestria's laws about co-habitation. ;)
They really have to get on with it and make their Couple status official, sheesh. Not as if denying it isn't an outright lie by now anyway
Maybe Twilight will admit to being in a relationship sometime soon.
Were I not in public, this would have earned a belly laugh.
Okay, I admit, you got me with that one.
Well played, good sir.
It is chapters like this that show why Rarity is my Fave pony.
Wait, Eddie Van Halen is still alive, though...
Perfect.
Przewalski... lol
This roughly translates to "Fuckuper" from Polish, for those curious.
Well played Rarity. Well played.
Oh man, this entire chapter just oozed with good feels and happiness. How sweet
Honestly, loved the two loverpones having some exercise with Avocado practicing his acting
And now they're suddenly completely okay with him and Twilight together... Yeahhh.
9591711 Dude, they've been OK with it since they dragged him into the spa to get all made up for their 'date' They're just a little upset that all their hard work seems to be going for naught, because both of them are as dense as fenceposts.
Not necessarily. Before her favorite pillow (read: Green Grass) came along there was always at least one book in there
Crafty, we'll have to remember that trick...
At least you know Ms. Cheerilee is coming at this from a standpoint of clear and honest understanding of the entirety of the situation.
You're lucky you didn't get detention, Miss Sparkle.
With your luck, that got lost in the crash and landed in the market for the whole town to see.
Clever girl...
Yes! And it will be most glorious!
*smack*
Okay jeez, stop that
*smack*
Aaaaah *runs away*
There are two things about this. First is excessive use of M'Lady unironically. It isn't really an issue with the story, but in recent years, that word has seemed to have been appropriated by annoying internet pseudo-intellectuals, especially those who would fit under the description of "incel," which leads me into my next point. I was staring at the word "tiercel" trying to figure out what it means.
In other words, the internet has ruined me.