Chapter VII: The Assistant and the Apprentice
Chapter VII: The Assistant and the Apprentice
“Get up.”
He stirred, but only just. His head felt heavy and full of a fog that muddled his thoughts together, none of them fully coherent. He barely registered the voice that had spoken to him. He was still tired. He wanted to keep sleeping, to ignore the voice and just dream of nothing. He was hard worker; he deserved at least that, right?
“Get up!” the voice commanded with irritation.
He shifted again. He knew he should probably listen to the voice, it sounded familiar but it was hard to tell through the fog. Like his head, the rest of his body felt heavy and unresponsive. He was simply exhausted. He didn’t understand why; he hadn’t done anything straining recently had he? Through the haze he couldn’t remember any of his recent actions. Maybe he was sick? Twilight would understand that and let him sleep in if it were true. He opened his mouth to vocalize his thoughts when he felt a hoof kick him in the side and sent him spiraling out of his basket.
“Lazy, good-for-nothing dragon, I told you to get up twice already!” a harsh voice screeched at him.
Spike landed on the wooden floor of the library bedroom with a thud. On the bright side, he could feel his limbs again. The downside, however was that he now had a dull pain in his side from where he had been kicked, and another pain in his back from where he landed. He blinked a few times to adjust his eyes to the light and noticed that the library seemed… darker in a way. The shadows casted from the light seemed thicker. Even the small amount of sunlight coming through the bedroom window seemed distorted.
After pushing himself to his hands and knees, Spike dusted himself off and gave Twilight a reproachful look. “Twi, what in Equestria was that for?”
The purple unicorn gave him a look of pure apathy. “For being a lazy freeloader, what else? Now get downstairs and clean the library, it’s a mess!” With that, she stalked out of the room with her nose in the air, making sure to slap Spike with her tail on her way out.
Spike stared at her retreating form, utterly confused with what just transpired. Twilight had kicked him, snapped at him, and slapped him with her tail; three things Twilight Sparkle would never do, at least not consciously. Something was definitely wrong here.
Without the fog clouding his brain, Spike tried to remember what had happened before he had gone to sleep. Maybe he had done something to offend Twilight? However, the last thing he could remember was making soup for her, and she said she had loved it. Maybe she’s just having a really bad day, Spike thought. Still, even on her worst days, Twilight had never physically abused Spike, she had never even spanked him before.
The baby dragon tried to think of what happened after he had made soup, but the more he tried to think, the more fog pressed against his mind. It was almost like—
"If you don't get your scaly butt down here, I'm going to blast it back to Canterlot!”
Spike jumped and ran downstairs before Twilight could get angrier. Maybe if he just sat down and talked with her, they could work things out. When he arrived downstairs, his expression switched from a look of concern, to a look of confusion. Twilight had said that the library was a mess, but as Spike stepped onto the main floor, he saw a spotless, well-organized room.
Twilight met him at the bottom of the stairs, piercing him with an irate glare Spike couldn’t help but flinch under. With all the trouble he gotten into over the years, Twilight had never looked at him with that much disdain before.
He swallowed a lump in his throat and stammered, “B-but, Twilight, I-I don’t see anything wrong with the library, it’s fine.”
Without taking her eyes off him, her horn glowed with a magenta light and behind her, a miniature twister appeared and began running amok across the room, sucking in and tossing around anything that got in a radius of it. Spike watched in open-mouthed horror as the room was torn apart by the artificial wind storm.
Smiling at his distress, Twilight cut the power to the twister and it quickly petered out. She handed the dragon a broom and said, “Clean it,” before stalking towards the kitchen.
A number of obscenities came to Spike’s mind that he wanted to shout at the unicorn, but he had been raised better than that. He took a deep shaky breath and asked, “Twilight is everything okay?”
Twilight stopped and looked over her shoulder. “No, everything is not okay. For starters, I have to take care of dumb dragon that still doesn’t know what the word ‘clean’ means. Could you be any more incompetent?” She sighed. “Good servants are so hard to find these days.”
“Alright, that does it,” Spike threw the broom on the ground and pointed a claw at Twilight. “First of all, I’m not your servant, I’m your assistant. More importantly, we’re friends Twilight, and whatever is going on is no excuse for you to treat me like this!” Spike could, and had, put up with a lot of things in his short life, but there were lines that could not be crossed. Being called a ‘servant’ the way Twilight had used it, like he was nothing more than trash to be discarded, was one of those lines.
Twilight fully turned around and started to advance upon Spike. The baby dragon’s confidence melted at the sight of her. He had just raised his voice at the most powerful unicorn in Equestria. And now she was angry. Twilight towered over him, glaring daggers so sharp, they were cutting through his scales.
“First of all,” she said in a deadly whisper, “you are my servant, given to me by Princess Celestia because she, like everypony else, didn’t want you, so I can treat you any way I please. Second, we are not friends. I don’t love you, I don’t even like you! You’re a worthless piece of existence that I keep around for Celestia knows what reason! Maybe it’s because I almost feel bad about the fact that you have no real family to go running back to. They got smart and ditched you as an egg; lucky them. Now, unless you want another beating, I suggest that you start cleaning up this mess you made.” The broom floated up and knocked Spike on the head several times before dropping into his claws. With a satisfied smirk, Twilight turned and walked into the kitchen leaving Spike alone and in tears.
He held the broom tight, leaning on it for support. Each of Twilight’s scathing words had cut in to him like a knife, tearing his heart away. He never heard cruel words like that before. Not from Twilight, not from anypony. The worst part was Twilight had looked him dead in the eye when she had said them, and she meant every single word.
She didn’t love him.
Spike bit his lip, trying to cry as quietly as possible, lest Twilight came back to hurl more insults at him. What had he done to tear Twilight’s love for him away like that? Everything had seemed fine yesterday. But now, she hated him, she didn’t even want him here. Spike had never felt such a crushing sadness before. All he wanted to do now was curl up and sob the rest of his heart out. But if Twilight caught him doing that, who knows what she would do to him.
He looked up at the ravaged room through teary eyes and let out a weighted sigh. He shuffled his feet and began to sweep some of the dust away, working at a snail’s pace. Maybe… maybe she’ll come back and apologize. Maybe she didn’t really mean it. Spike knew it was a false hope. The emotion Twilight had put behind her words was too much for her not to mean it.
Spike put down the broom and proceeded to pick up the books that had fallen on the ground and place them back on the shelves. Surprisingly, the twister hadn’t done any real damage to the books other than toss them around.
Behind him, the library door swung open and he heard someone say, “My, it’s quite the mess in here.”
Spike wheeled around and smiled at the five ponies stepping their way through the clutter of books. His friends! Maybe they could help him find out what was wrong with Twilight.
“Girls, I’m glad you’re here,” he dropped the books and ran over to them. “Twilight’s been acting really, really mean today! She… she actually hit me,” he said, unable to hide the hurt in his voice.
“Well Ah can see why,” Applejack snorted. Spike looked up at her dark expression, his eyes wide. “This place looks terrible. Ah’d hit you too if Ah were her.”
Spike took a few steps back only to bump into something soft. He didn’t have to guess to know what it was. Something grabbed his tail and hoisted him upside down in the air. He locked eyes with Twilight and felt a chill run down his spine.
“Apparently, I wasn’t clear,” Twilight said darkly, “you don’t have any friends. No one likes you! Not the princess, not me, not my friends, no one!” She released her magic and let Spike drop to the floor. “I’m sorry about the mess, girls,” she said addressing the five other ponies. “This thing has been acting lazy all day.”
Spike got up and looked at the ponies he had called friends. Each of them was giving him a menacing look, like he was the scum of the earth. “Bu- but, I don’t understand, I thought we were friends…”
All of them laughed at his assumption and Applejack sneered, “Why would we be friends with something like you?”
“Ugghh,” Rarity bemoaned, holding a hoof to her forehead, “to think that you have a crush on me is absolutely revolting!”
Spike clutched at his chest, he could almost feel his heart shattering into pieces. Could this really be happening? Had all of his friends turned on him overnight? He turned to Fluttershy, the last pony who could ever truly hate anyone. “Fluttershy, you’re still my friend right?”
Fluttershy gave him a look of pure disgust. “I hate dragons. Why would I want to be friends with you?”
“Seriously, Twi, why do you still have him?” Rainbow Dash asked. “I mean, he’s pretty useless and he just takes up space. You should get rid of him.”
“Yeah, then we can throw a ‘good riddance to Spike’ party!” Pinkie Pie cheered.
Spike felt his stomach plummet into oblivion. He dropped to his knees and grabbed on to Twilight’s leg, tears starting to stream from his eyes. “No, no please, don’t get rid of me Twilight! I’m sorry, whatever I did I’m sorry! I’ll work twice as hard, just please don’t throw me out!”
Twilight ignored his pleas and said, “you’re right girls, I mean, even the princess doesn’t want him. She won’t mind if I throw him away. I’ll just use magic to send all my letters to her.” She pried Spike off of her leg with magic and tossed him towards the door. “You’re fired, you overgrown lizard, get out!”
Spike was fully crying now, unable to hold back the shock and pain running through him. He clasped his hands together and begged, “Please, please don’t do this Twilight, I don’t have anywhere else to go! I’m sorry for not working as hard as I should, I’ll do better, just please let me stay!”
Twilight rolled her eyes in an exasperated fashion and opened the front door, tossing the baby dragon out while all of her friends cheered her on.
Spike landed on the doorstep and watched as the door slammed in his face. He began pounding on it with his small fists sobbing for Twilight to let him back inside. But the ponies ignored him; laughing and celebrating at his misfortune.
He rested against the doorway; face pressed into the wood and cried, “Please… please Twilight… I’m sorry….”
Something roughly grabbed him by the shoulder and spun him around before pinning him up against the door. Spike’s eyes widened as he recognized the figure before him. “Garble!” he exclaimed.
The red, adolescent dragon smiled wickedly at him. His overgrown teeth seemed sharper than before. Behind him, two of his cronies stood cracking their knuckles in a threatening manner. “Hey there, Spike. You know, we never got to finish our lessons on being a real dragon, why don’t we pick up where we left off?” He pulled back a fist. “Next lesson, you have to know how to take a punch.”
Spike closed his eyes as the red, scaly fist flew towards his face.
******
Twilight Sparkle wasn’t happy.
It had been an odd and frustrating night for her. First, she had almost been crushed when one of the hallways had been collapsed by some random pony that had looked a lot like Nightmare Moon. Twilight hadn’t stuck around to get a better look; she was too busy fearing for her life. To make things worse, when she had tried to take a shower to get some of the dust off of her, she discovered that all of the water in the castle was gone. Apparently, some idiot had broken the pipes.
Twilight stomped down the hall having just come back from dinner which, to add to her bad mood, had been painfully bland. She grumbled at the incompetency of the chef’s ability to make a decent daisy sandwich as she navigated her way back to her room. The Lunar Palace was divided into thirteen different sections, each named after one of the Zodiac signs. Her room was in Capricorn Tower which, unfortunately, was quite a walk from the kitchens. Her current place was in the Sagittarius Wing where Sombra’s room and study were located.
The palace was looking as dim and dreary as ever, and now without the commotion that had been going on outside, it seemed quieter than usual. Twilight tread down the purple carpet, passing a few roaming guards as she went. There were fewer of them around the palace, as Nightmare Moon had pulled some of them away to assist in her invasion plan on the Light World. She was pretty confident nopony could breach the Lunar Palace in the first place. Twilight knew Nightmare Moon’s confidence was founded. The palace was over a mile high, and anyone could see an intruder coming from a mile away. Then there was the empress’ pet dragon, Draco to worry about.
Twilight stopped and rubbed a hoof across her chin, interested on how the intruder that Nightmare Moon had been fighting had gotten past the lookouts without raising any alarms. “Maybe Nightmare Moon wanted them to come,” Twilight said aloud. The empress hardly ever did any of fighting of her own, so for her to take on an opponent was a pretty big deal. Either the other pony was very crafty, or it was all part of Nightmare Moon’s plan. “They looked like an alicorn... maybe they were from the other word.” Amidst the dust and rubble, Twilight had been sure she had seen wings and a horn.
Twilight sighed, pushing the thoughts to the back of her mind. It was none of her concern anyway. She didn’t care if Nightmare Moon won or lost her war. From what Sombra had told her, those other ponies didn’t look like the conquering type, so if Nightmare Moon did lose, Twilight’s own life was not likely to change. Something she was pretty grateful for. She got to live in a palace and learn magic, while most of the ponies down below had to struggle for their existence.
Most of Twilight’s life had been spent up in the Lunar Palace. She could hardly remember the world below. Nightmare Moon had forbid her from ever going down, even though Shining Armor got to make frequent trips. “Too many unicorns would give them hope,” Nightmare Moon had said.
Twilight stopped and looked out a nearby window, seeing the same dark sky she always saw. As much as she hated her brother, part of her envied him. Shining Armor got to go places and see things being a lieutenant in Nightmare Moon’s army. And while Twilight got to learn magic from the most powerful unicorn in the world, her life was contained inside the walls of a floating prison.
She continued walking, already tired of the view outside. She had almost reached the end of the hall, when an odd sound brushed against her ears. It almost sounded like crying. She paused, perking her ears up and trying to hone in on the source of the noise. She followed it over to a door, and looked up to see a black ‘S’ carved over it. Sombra’s study.
Twilight pressed an ear against the door and could faintly hear someone sobbing on the other side. She was immediately curious. It couldn’t be her master could it? She didn’t think Sombra was capable of crying. “Wait, it can’t be him, he’s in the other world,” Twilight said to herself.
She stared at the door, trying to decide what to do. She knew she shouldn’t be breaking in to Sombra’s study. But she had a powerful urge to find out who was crying and why. For curiosity, not compassion, she reminded herself. She didn’t care about anyone other than herself and Master Sombra.
The sobbing intensified, along with Twilight’s... curiosity. She just needed to know who and why, that was it. She tried to handle, finding it locked, though she couldn’t say she was honestly surprised. A lavender glow enveloped her horn, and then the handle, as she tried to pick the lock. She fumbled with it for several minutes before deciding that it had been enchanted with superior magic. Twilight grinned. “A challenge? Alright then.” Using her memory of the inside of Sombra’s room, Twilight charged up her horn again preparing to teleport.
As she released her magic and felt herself vanish, something began to shock her, before violently shooting her backwards. She slammed into the back wall and slid down, dazed and disoriented, her body occasionally twitching from the leftover magic. She sat there for awhile, gathering herself before standing up. She looked left and right, making sure that no guard had seen her, though it wasn’t like they could do much to her.
Twilight marched up to the door again, glaring at it. “Fine, we’ll do this the hard way.” Sombra hadn’t yet taught her dark magic, saying she wasn’t quite ready for it. But she had seem him use plenty of times before to get an inkling of how it worked. She closed her eyes and reached down into the darkness behind her soul. She could feel it, a tiny presence unlike anything she had felt before. Twilight reached for it, but it sank down further, out of her reach. She began to grow frustrated, which seemed to spur the magic to toward her. Negative energy, of course!
Doubling her concentration, she used the hatred she felt for her brother to call up the dark magic. It greedily ate it up, allowing her to tap into it’s power. Her horn bubbled with a dark ooze, and black smoke began to cloud around her eyes. Twilight willed herself to teleport beyond the door, and this time felt no resistance.
When she opened her eyes, she found herself in Sombra’s study. The last time she had been inside had been a few months ago. Then, there had been a gaping hole in the wall letting in a cold draft. Now, the wall had been fixed, a shelf a books standing in front of it; though it was still rather cold inside. It was an eerie chill though, one that shook Twilight to her core.
Other than the fixed wall, not much had changed. The room was made of black granite, adding to the eerie feeling it radiated. The fireplace was unlit, as was the chandelier. A desk on one side of the room next to another bookcase. And curled up in the corner, with a black gem floating in front of it, was a sobbing baby dragon.
Twilight stared at it with open mouthed wonder. “A dragon... a living baby dragon. I can’t believe it. But, why is it here?” She began to walk towards it, eager to get a better look... and still curios to know why it was crying.
It shook and shivered on the floor. Muttering something in between sobs. Twilight felt something pull at her heart before she brushed it away. “It’s a dragon. They don’t actually have feelings... right?” She poked its side, trying to get a reaction from it. It twitched slightly, then went back to moaning in despair.
“Please... don’t leave me... Twilight... I’m sorry....”
Twilight jumped back. She hadn’t expected it to be able to talk, or know her name. “How does it know my name anyway?” Twilight was very curious now, and she wanted answers. She looked at the black stone hovering in front of the dragon. No doubt, it was comprised of dark magic. Twilight reached down into her own dark magic, finding it a little easier to reach than before. She shot a black beam of light at the gemstone and watched it shatter into pieces.
The dragon stopped his sobbing, lying on the floor for a few minutes before climbing to his feet. He rubbed his eyes and looked up at Twilight. His expression jumped to pure joy, and he threw himself onto her front legs. “Twilight, it’s you! Oh, I had the worst dream ever! You were abusing me, and you said you didn’t love me, then you kicked me out of the library, and, and...” He looked up with at Twilight with a worried expression, probably wondering why she wasn’t hugging and comforting him. “T-Twilight... it, it is you... isn’t it?”
Twilight looked at him, utterly confused. “Yes, I’m Twilight, but... how do you even know my name? We’ve never met before.”
The dragon backed away from her, his expression becoming fearful. “No. No, I must still be dreaming. I need to wake up!” He looked around frantically before his eyes stopped on the bookshelf. He grabbed a particularly thick tome and smashed it against his head.
Twilight made a noise of surprise, and ripped the book out of his grasp. “Stop it, you aren’t dreaming! All of this is real!” She put the book back on the shelf before asking, “Who are you and how do you know my name?”
There was a moment of silence, the baby dragon stood with his head in his claws, trying to gather his thoughts. “How can you not know me, Twilight?” He looked at her, tears pouring down his face again. “It’s me Spike. Don’t you remember?”
She felt a pang of guilt hit her. Staring into the dragon’s... into Spike’s eyes, she saw a desperate want for love and comfort. Twilight was starting to second guess herself. Had they met before? Could they possibly be... friends?
“I-I’m sorry, Twilight said softly. It actually made her sad to see Spike’s hope for recognition crumble. “i’m sorry, but... I’m pretty sure we’ve never met.”
Spike fell back and dropped his face into his claws again. Twilight bit her lip, feeling uncomfortable next to the sad dragon. She opened her mouth, hoping to give him some words of comfort, when his head sprung up, a look of revelation on his face. “The tear! I-I must be in that other world!”
Twilight gasped. “You’re from the Light World?”
Spike clapped his hands together and jumped to his feet. Other than his red eyes, there was little evidence that he had been depressed a second ago “Yes! That explains everything! That hole in the sky must have led to another world, just like in Daring Do and the Magic Mirror.” He pointed at Twilight. “You aren’t my Twilight Sparkle, you just look like her. Wow, you must be her alternate twin!”
Twilight listened to him ramble on, slightly impressed that he had been able to piece things together so quickly. Though she was thoroughly interested in hearing about this Other Twilight Sparkle.
Spike held a claw to his chin. “But, how did I get here? More importantly, where exactly am I?”
“You’re in Nightmare Moon’s Lunar Palace,” Twilight said.
Spike’s eyes widened. “Did you say Nightmare Moon!”
Twilight nodded. “Yeah, she’s the ruler here.”
“What! What happened to Celestia? Where are the Elements of Harmony?”
Twilight tilted her head at the mention of the Elements of Harmony. She had never heard of such a thing before. “Well, um... Celestia died a thousand years ago, during her fight against Nightmare Moon. But, what are these ‘elements’ you’re talking about?”
Twilight was pretty sure if Spike’s eyes widened any more, they’d pop out of his head. “You’ve never heard of the Elements of Harmony?” he asked incredulously. “Wait a sec, what are you doing here anyway? You said this was Nightmare Moon’s palace.”
“It is.” Twilight nodded. “But I live here too. I’m master Sombra’s apprentice. You see, he’s—”
“Sombra! Did you Sombra?” He clutched the fins on his head. “Oh man, now I remember! King Sombra is attacking Ponyville! And he kidnapped me!” He started backing away from Twilight. “And you’re his apprentice? Oh geez, I’ve gotta get out of here!”
He rushed to the door and started fumbling with the handle, when Twilight said, “You can’t leave.”
“Oh yeah?” Spike glared at her. “Watch me.”
“No, I mean you can’t leave. The Lunar Palace is a mile above ground. Unless you can sneak into the chariot hangar—which I doubt—and steal a chariot, you’re stuck here.”
Spike let go of the door handle and stepped back. “Okay.” He took a deep breath. “Don’t panic... don’t panic. I’ll just... I’ll just send a letter to the princess, then she can tell Twilight where I am!”
He rushed over to the desk and pulled out a piece of paper and a quill, and began to scribble furiously. Twilight raised an eyebrow. “How are you going to send a letter from here?”
Spike rolled the letter up and smirked at her. “Like this.” He took a deep breath and blew a jet of green fire at the scroll. It turned into a ball of green smoke and floated in the air before reappearing and dropping to the floor. “That’s not supposed to happen,” Spike said worriedly.
“And what exactly was supposed to happen?” Twilight asked.
“It was supposed to teleport to Princess Celestia.” He picked it up and blew on it again, only for the same thing to occur. “Great, no trans-dimensional mailing magic.” He whirled around and faced Twilight, trying to look as frightening as possible. “Listen you, I don’t care if you do work for Sombra, you touch one scale on me, and you’ll be in a world of hurt when my Twilight gets here. If I don’t handle you first,” he bluffed.
Twilight rolled her eyes. She was pretty sure she could handle an overgrown lizard, although she had no intention of doing so. “I’m not going to do anything to you, alright? And if Sombra had wanted to kill you, he would have done it by now.”
“Oh yeah, that’s reassuring.”
They looked at each other for a tense moment before Twilight softened and asked, “Well, what are you going to do now?”
Spike sighed. He picked up the rejected scroll and looked at it longingly. “I don’t know. I guess I’m stuck here until Twilight and my friends come and get me.”
“How do you know they’ll come?”
Spike smiled. “Cause they’re my friends. We always look out for each other. They’ll come.”
Twilight regarded him curiously. The way he had said it... Spike believed with all his heart that his friends were coming to rescue him. Twilight couldn’t help but wonder why? What made him believe in the conviction that his friends were on their way?
Spike looked at her. “Oh yeah... I guess I should say thanks.”
Twilight snapped out of her thoughts. “For what?”
“You woke me up from that nightmare.” He shuddered. “It was bad, like, really, really bad. And I guess... if you were really evil, you would have just left me there. So, thanks.”
“Um, you’re welcome.” Twilight felt herself blush. The silence returned, though it was a lot lighter than before. Curiosity ran through Twilight’s brain. There was a dragon standing in front of her... from the Light World! She had so many question to ask; so many things she wanted to know. She cleared her throat. “So, umm... since you’ll be here for a while, why don’t you tell me about your world?”
Spike rubbed the back of his head. “Well, I don’t see why not. But, first, tell me one thing: if Nightmare Moon really rules this world, then is it night time forever here?”
Twilight nodded. “Yes, it’s always night here. The only time ponies have seen the sun in the last one thousand years was briefly, during the Dawn Revolution.”
Spike had stepped over to the window on the far wall, looking out over vast, dark sky. “The Dawn Revolution? What was that?”
“It happened about a hundred years ago,” Twilight explained. “The ponies started rebelling against Nightmare Moon’s rule. Towards the end of it, a group of unicorns got together and used old magic to raise the sun for a few hours."
Spike looked away from the window. “Wow, that sounds incredible.”
“It probably was, until Nightmare Moon got angry. After that, she started killing every unicorn her soldiers could find.” Twilight bowed her head, fighting the tears forming at the corners of her eyes. “I’m one of the last unicorns left.”
“Wait, what? You mean... all the unicorns are... dead?”
“Yes, almost all of them. My brother, Sombra, and I are the only ones left that I know of.”
Spike held a claw over his mouth. “That’s horrible. I knew Nightmare Moon was evil, but that’s... that’s just wrong.”
Twilight saw him wipe a few of his own tears away. Why is he crying? It’s not his problem; this isn’t his world.
After he finished wiping his tears, Spike said, “But, at least you have your brother.”
Twilight practically hissed. “I don’t want him! It’s his fault mom and dad are dead in the first place! I hope he doesn’t come back from that other world!”
“Oh. Wow... that’s pretty harsh.” Twilight didn’t respond, she just stood there glaring at the floor. Spike continued, “In my world, Twilight and Shining Armor love each other... Um, sorry, I probably shouldn’t have said that.”
“...Does your Twilight Sparkle have parents?”
“Oh yeah, Twilight Velvet and Night Light. They’re pretty cool... sorry.”
Twilight shook her head. “No... no, it’s fine. It’s just... it’s hard for me to believe there’s a place where unicorns are alive and live peacefully.
“Yeah, Equestria has it pretty good,” Spike said thoughtfully.
“Equestria....” Twilight felt the word on her lips, tasting the sweetness of it. “Most of the time we just call this place the Lunar Empire. Not many ponies use the name Equestria anymore.” She looked up at Spike, her heart filled with a sadness not just for herself, but for him as well. “Spike, Nightmare Moon is powerful. Very Powerful, and she hates unicorns. She wants to take over your world, which means she’ll probably kill all of them there too. How can you be so sure your friends will make it to you? They’ll have to find they’re way up here, sneak past all the guards and possibly fight Nightmare Moon herself! How do you know they’ll take that chance for you?”
Spike looked at her for a long time, his expression unreadable. He pressed his face against the window, staring up at the bright moon. “They’re my friends. They’ll come. You’ll see, Twilight always comes back for me.”
Twilight looked away from him. I hope you’re right, Spike. I’d like to meet this Other Twilight.
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Oh my god, and update!
All right I’ve been waiting for this!
Good opening, it carries a sense of personality and tone that fits Spike very well and the steady building with the “get up” was quite well executed. I’m assuming the fog is some sort of memory charm maybe its mysterious build up regardless and adds to the atmosphere.
I do feel that Twilight’s behavior is a bit odd to me though, she seemed, not quite so malicious when we first met her and her attempts at upsetting Spike seem a tad too obvious, which may be the point. (I just realized that this is probably the fear door as opposed to Nightmareverse Twilight acting which was a good surprise!) Spike’s dialogue when yelling at Twilight seemed a bit, maybe well-spoken would be the word, it just felt a little to adult and controlled for Spike who’s more or less a child/teenager and very upset. The scenery descriptions were excellent though as were the actions descriptions.
Wow… I will say this much Twilights rant and Spike’s reaction was pure tearjerker material so very good job at making me feel bad for him, it really worked. There was a great sense of building fear, dread and horror when the other characters arrived. Spike’s dialogue and the surrounding description of his reaction to being thrown out were excellently done. Interesting ending with the other dragons showing up.
Good into to the next scene it shows how the time has passed and lets us get reacquainted with Nightmareverse Twilight and to show her rather interestingly normal and down to earth take on the whole situation which carries a good bit of personality to it. Cool idea with the castle layout. It does feel a little odd for Twilight to being talking about this sort of thing out loud and only deducing it now, it’s not bad perse but it feels a bit awkward.
Interesting perspective with this Twilight not holding any loyalty to NMM and generally being disinterested in the whole affair it works fairly well with canon Twilights initial characterization, just subtract a likable and caring princess. (it seems Sombra is someone she cars about though so that should be interesting especially if he cares about his apprentice even just a little)
So Shining is still alive, interesting. The line/idea of Twilight not caring for anyone but herself and master Sombra does feel a bit awkward, as the society doesn’t seemed to be entirely based around “lawful evil” or “bad being good if that makes sense so the line sort of lacks context, to me at least. The scene were Twilight was thrown back was a bit awkwardly described, it felt a bit more tell as opposed to show, the rest was excellently described though so this was a minor exception.
Cool and intriguing idea having her hate her brother, I liked the description of Sombra’s study and the eerie chill it posse’s. Some of Twilight’s dialogue felt a bit awkward though and still suffered a bit form telling rather than showing. Spike seemed to recover from his experience and deduce things fairly quickly, I feel that scene was overall a bit rushed. Sorry. Considering his fear and knowing it’s a Nightmareverse Spike still seems rather calm. Ah I figured something along those lines had happened with the unicorns, interesting development and history. I do feel Twi’s “it’s not his problem” showed a good deal of personality.
Interesting development with the hated of Shining; I do feel Twilights desire for her own empires defeat feels a bit odd considering she was raised there, so I’d imagine the idea would either be one she has to work to keep hidden to avoid NMM punishing her and the prospect should probably still fill her with a bit more worry. Sorry the ending just felt a bit awkward.
But overall I felt this was an excellent chapter, it was dark atmospheric, and really tugged at the heart stings in many placed with some great description and emotional reaction along with more world building.
I can’t wait for the next one!
Yes. Yes! YES! IT'S FINALLY BEEN UPDATED! OH, I'M SO HAPPY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY!... Actually I do know what to say, this was another well done chapter. I like how it starts with Spike experiencing a nightmare, obviously induced by Sombra out of revenge for what he did to his counterpart... Mental note, do not forget to purchase Magnus Club for when I meet him. Anyway, I also liked how the Other Twilight was the one that ultimately freed him, not only showing that she still has a heart, but also allowing her time to get to know Spike. That's nice. So, again, a really good chapter, and I can't wait for Chapter VIII.
2972054 I have been gone far too long. I can't believe I forgot about your awesome reviews. They always make me smile.
Glad you haven't abandoned me yet. Though I wouldn't say Twilight wants the empire to lose, she just doesn't care either way.
2972156
I'm not the type to drop fics. well it takes a lot anyway and this fic hasn't come close to making me want to leave it. In regards to Twilight I suppose it was this line (I hope you’re right, Spike. I’d like to meet this Other Twilight.) along with her treatment of Spike and the light world that just sort of felt a bit off to me. Like I said though overall stellar chapter! I'm glad you still like my reviews and that they bring a Pinkie Smile with them.
2972112 Yep, I'm back. Again. I didn't know how much I missed this story until I started writing it again.
2975798 Don't worry, I'm about to give this story some editing TLC.
Ah, irony. By the way, who was this "wise author?"
2981429 I believe it was Bad Horse. He has occasional blog posts giving tips to other authors.
2972112 Who or what is Magnus Club?
2981722 The Magnus Club is weapon in the game "Kid Icarus: Uprising." Put simply, it is an enormous sword.
2982329 lol. I though that sounded familiar! I prefer the tiger claws myself.
2983026 Same with me.
3000417 I intend to rectify that soon.
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Approval Seal
Great work!
-Additional comments: This story is good, but it would be better if you gave the readers a character they could identify with sooner, and stuck with that character long enough to get to know them.
I just found this story and it earns a favorite!!!
I'm still waiting for this massive, and wonderfully amazing update hes preparing. Hint
3589897 Don't worry, I will return to this story and give some serious TLC.
Did I already ask you why this story is on hiatus?
3972336 Nope, because I just made it official. It currently does not compare to the standards of my more recent stories, but I am too busy to revise it right now. I want to work it from the ground up, but first, I need to finish Sunset of Time.
Have not read this yet, but I has a question. Is this fic related to this?
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/172036/resuscitatio-artium-magicarum
The name of the land, Concordia, is the same.
6505840 Nope.
Do you have plans to finish this at some point. It looks interesting.
6511459 I'd really love to, but nothing is certain right now.