Chapter IV: If You Want Something Done Right...
Chapter IV: If You Want Something Done Right…
Canterlot Castle was in an uproar.
Guards scrambled to and fro preparing for battle while their superiors barked out order after order. Soldiers of all three races dawned their armor and weapons before falling into formation outside in the courtyard. The entire army worked with quick efficiency, their long hours of training finally paying off. After the Royal Wedding fiasco training drills and work outs had been doubled; nopony in the guard wanted to be embarrassed like that ever again.
Of course the ruckus of the castle did not go unnoticed by the citizens of Canterlot City. To the stuffy nobles and well-to-do ponies of the upper class, anything that could catch the attention of the princesses and set off the Equestrian Military was sure to be good gossip. From the city’s mountainside perch it wasn’t hard to discern what had set off their rulers. The city’s view gave anypony standing on the ramparts a clear show of what was happening to Ponyville and soon gossip turned to fearful whispers as the unsettling news washed over all of Canterlot.
Equestria was under siege. Again.
It had been a well over a year since the changelings had been dispelled from Equestrian borders, and now they had a new unknown enemy to deal with. Though the novelty of being attacked on a yearly basis hadn’t worn off, the ponies of Canterlot tried their best to keep cool heads about the situation. After all it wasn’t their city being attacked so there was no need to dissolve into hysterics just yet.
******
Princess Celestia stood on the highest balcony of the castle observing the dimensional tear that had appeared next to Ponyville. She had received the letter loyal dragon Spike had sent her and promptly responded, but that was before she had actually observed the phenomena. Now she was beginning to wonder if the Elements of Harmony could fix a situation like this. And even if they could mend the hole in the space-time continuum, what about the ponies that would be displaced here as a result?
She began to pace the checkered floors of the balcony trying to come up with a solution. But she knew she didn’t have a lot of time to plan. Every second, more of these mysterious invaders marched into her world and Celestia doubted they would leave if she politely asked them to. She abhorred war, but was not afraid to get her hooves dirty if it meant keeping her little ponies safe. She gave a disgruntled sigh and retreated back into the castle.
She descended the spiral staircase and exited into one of the various halls making up the castle proper. Her strides were long and quick as she hurried off towards her next destination. Halfway down the hall, her eyes saw the shadows at the base of the ivory pillars flicker before a cool wind picked up causing her ethereal mane to billow a little harder than usual.
The wind picked up the shadows off their places on the walls and swirled them around before producing Princess Luna who fell into step beside her sister as silent as the night she guarded. Celestia acknowledged her while continuing her gait, “Hello Luna, how are we doing so far?”
“Lieutenant Gale and her pegasi are ready to depart. Lieutenants Starburst and Grey Shield both say they’ll be ready within the next hour,” Luna reported.
Celestia nodded. Of course the pegasi would be the first to be ready for battle which was all the more convenient for her as they could traverse to Ponyville the quickest.
They continued to trot down the corridor at a hurried pace, both of them passively quiet. Guards and soldiers continued to scurry about taking care of any necessary preparations. The two sisters turned down an adjoining corridor and Luna spoke again, “I cannot believe this. An invasion, from another dimension! When you first read me young Spike’s letter I thought he and Twilight Sparkle might have gone mad until I saw it for myself.” She looked up at her older sister. “Not even Discord can create something of this magnitude. What creature is powerful enough to do such a thing?”
Celestia took a deep breath and sighed. “I cannot say for certain; though from our observations we can assume they did not come here with the best intentions.”
They reached the door to the southern courtyard wear the pegasi waited ready to fly. Facing each other Luna asked, “So, what is our plan? Even if the Elements of Harmony can close the portal they cannot repel an army.”
Celestia was silent for a moment; her purple eyes looked solemnly out into space. “Actually, Luna, I’m not even sure the Elements can close the portal. And even if they can who’s to say that whatever made the first one won’t just create another?” These thoughts had been bothering Celestia since she had left the balcony. She trusted her faithful student with every fiber of her being. She was smart, resilient, and in a situation like this she had definitely made a good call in trying to use the Elements. But if her theory about the dimensional tear was correct then the Elements would only half work if at all.
Luna gaped at her. The Elements of Harmony not work? How could they not work? Though Celestia may have had a point about more portals opening up, if the Elements could not close them then what could? With a shake of her head, Luna regained her composure. “Tia, assuming that what you say is true and the Elements don’t work, then what are we to do? Neither of us knows trans-dimensional magic; frankly I did not believe such a thing was possible until today.”
The white alicorn let out another sigh. “I have a plan, but I hope I will not have to resort to it. In the meantime I will go with the pegasi to Ponyville and help Twilight Sparkle.”
“Then I shall join you!” Luna declared.
Celestia shook her head and gave her younger sibling a sad look. “No Luna, not yet; someone needs to lead the unicorns and the earth ponies when they are fully prepared. Also, I need you to look though the archives and see if you can’t find anything on trans-dimensional magic; I know Starswirl had started some research on it but I’m not sure how far he got.”
“What?” Luna exclaimed, “You want me to stay here; to stay behind again?” The Night Princess couldn’t believe her ears. She was being told to sit and wait patiently again while everypony else went out to help save the world. She narrowed her eyes in cold disbelief towards her sister. “You’re kidding; you’re kidding right? Why must I stay behind and do research while you go and fight? I am not some delicate flower that cannot take care of herself! My magic almost rivals yours!” Luna could feel her temper rising at the indignity she was being shown. Her voice has grown steadily louder with each sentence, though she was still being mindful so that she did not slip into her Royal Canterlot Voice. Though part of her wanted to let Celestia have it.
Celestia stepped closer and draped a wing over Luna who was sorely tempted to throw it off yet instead allowed herself to be pulled in by the loving embrace. Celestia’s wings were always warm like the afternoon sun and, though she would never admit it, Luna liked the way Celestia’s feathers tickled her.
Celestia brought her in close and nuzzled her affectionately before looking into Luna’s teal eyes. “Luna, this has nothing to do with how strong you are. I know you are powerful; you’ve grown so much since you came home. And I know you hate to sit on the sidelines but I need you to wait here at least for now. We could be flying into a trap for all I know, and if something happens to me then you’re the only one who can take over ruling Equestria. You’ll have your chance soon sister, I promise; but for now please listen to me and stay here,” Celestia pleaded.
Luna looked down at her hooves. Her anger had been partly quelled, but she was still unhappy about the turn of events. Celestia was right, she hated being out on the sidelines, she hated waiting; she had been forced to wait a thousand years with nothing to do but watch and dream of the day she got to do something again. But her sister had a fair point. If all of this was just a trap, then they were playing right into enemy hooves. Somepony had to stay behind and be backup, and that somepony was her.
Luna sighed, “I understand Tia. I’ll stay here until you call for reinforcements. Just promise you’ll be careful down there.”
Celestia unwrapped her wings from around Luna and smiled at her. “I promise.” With that she opened the door and stepped out into the sunlight leaving Luna alone in the palace.
******
If there was one thing the ponies of Ponyville were good at it was panicking.
They fled throughout the town trying to find friends and loved ones and making futile attempts to escape the occupied territory. The armored earth pony guards however had the entire city surrounded while the pegasi patrolled the skies. While none of the soldiers were outright attacking any of the civilians, their menacing presence was enough to drive panic into the hearts of the populace. After realizing all of their exits were blocked, the townsfolk ran for their homes, trying to skirt around the soldiers whenever they could and locking the doors tight when they got inside.
For once Twilight Sparkle was grateful for the chaos Ponyville provided. It was making it easier for her group to move across the town without raising too much suspicion. The six ponies were forced to take a rather roundabout way to reach the field and avoid the bulk of the amassing army. They slipped through the crowds on the main streets and made their way through small alleyways with a hurried pace. It was more of a brisk gallop than a run, as running might alert somepony that they were up to something.
Of course sneaking around didn’t sit well with Rainbow Dash who was practically grounded thanks to the air patrols. She hovered just above her friends heads and was about to complain again when Twilight gave a signal with her hoof. Everypony quickly ducked down behind a large dumpster placed in the dark alley just as a platoon of soldiers marched past in the street in front of them.
“This is stupid!” Dash hissed into Applejack’s ear. “Why do we have to sneak around everywhere, why can’t we just fight our way back? We’ll take ‘em on just like we did with the changelings!” she pounded her hooves together with a devilish grin on her face.
Applejack raised an eyebrow at her. “You do remember how that part ended right? Besides, these ponies are armed and dangerous, and ah don’ think even you can handle this many ponies at once.”
Rainbow was about to counter when Twilight gave another hoof motion to continue moving. She gave an exaggerated huff and continued to float above her companions.
After checking that the coast was clear, Twilight led her friends up the road and towards the edge of town. She knew they were running out of time; with each passing minute they had fewer ponies to cover for them. Soon the town would be crawling with nothing but armored soldiers.
Twilight thought that they were in the clear, the town’s outskirts were just in front of her and just beyond it a cluster of trees and bushes they could use for cover until they got close enough to the portal. They were only a hundred yards away when a gruff voice behind them yelled, “Hey!”
They all swung around to see four armored guards marching towards them, two of them were carrying spears on their backs. Their expressions were hidden by their visors but something told Twilight that the guards weren’t happy to see them.
Starting to break into a nervous sweat, Twilight tried to come up with a logical excuse to give but her brain was coming up short. She felt a hoof rest on her shoulder and looked over to see Rarity giving her a sly smile. “Allow me, Twilight.” With a flip of her violet mane she strolled over to the guards looking quite confident with herself.
“Why hello good sirs, whatever could be the problem?” She gave them her best smile and fluttered her eyelashes.
“Whoa, I can’t believe it,” one of the back guards whispered, “an actual unicorn!”
“And she’s kinda hot too,” another one whispered.
“Focus!” the one who had originally addressed them snapped. He returned his attention back to Rarity and said, “No pony is allowed to leave the area that’s an order! You’d do well to return to your homes at once!”
Rarity feigned a gasp of surprise and raised a hoof to her mouth. “Oh my, I wasn’t aware that we weren’t allowed to leave the town. I’m terribly sorry if we’re causing any trouble, but it just so happens that our dear friend Fluttershy isn’t feeling to well and her house is just over yonder as it were,” she gestured to the field behind her. “We just wanted to make sure she got home alright.”
Fluttershy cocked her head to the side in confusion. “But, Rarity my house is-“Rainbow quickly elbowed her in the ribs. Whether from good acting or because the blue pegasus had elbowed her a little too hard, Fluttershy let out a few very convincing coughs. “I mean -cough- yes; I’m not feeling ¬-cough- the best right now.”
“See?” Rarity continued, “If you could just let us take her home I assure you we’ll come right back and lock ourselves in our homes and no one would be the wiser.” She flashed them another winning smile.
The guard eyed them for a moment before deciding. “Very well, but we better give you an escort, make sure you’re not up to any funny business.”
Rarity’s eyes widened a little. “Oh, well that’s very nice and all but I assure you-“ But the four guards had already began moving into position around them, two on the left and two on the right, boxing them in. Rarity frowned. “Oh… alright then,” she sighed and moved into position next to Rainbow and Fluttershy.
“Good going,” Rainbow whispered sarcastically as the group began to move forward.
“Quiet you,” the unicorn sniped, “at least I got us moving again.” She harrumphed and turned her nose upwards.
Fluttershy looked around at the four guards surrounding them then leaned over to Rainbow Dash and whispered, “What do we do now?”
Rainbow grinned and rubbed her hooves together. “Now we do this my way! Follow my lead.” She cleared her throat before saying in a loud voice, “Don’t worry ‘Shy, we’re almost there. Yep just through the trees,” she motioned at the cluster of close trees and shrubs.
Fluttershy gave a weak cough to help keep up the charade while Twilight led the group towards the wooded area catching on to Rainbow’s plan. It was incredibly stupid in Twilight’s opinion, but the purple unicorn couldn’t come up with anything better to get rid of their followers.
One of the guards leaned over to Twilight and said, “You know, I have to ask, what’s with all the shiny jewelry you girls are wearing? They look pretty expensive to be wearing when you’re just going for a stroll.” Through the narrow opening in the helmet, Twilight could see the stallion’s eyes gazing up at her tiara.
“Umm, well you see…” Twilight was beginning to sweat again trying to come up with an excuse.
This time she was saved not by Rarity’s grace, but by Pinkie screaming, “THEY’RE ON TO US!” In a flash of pink, the guard closest to Twilight was knocked on to his stomach while Pinkie snatched the spear that had been strapped to his back with her mouth and began to bash it against his helmet making the guard’s ears ring painfully.
Rainbow Dash followed suit, slamming into the other leading soldier. He flew across the way and landed in the dirt with a thud but quickly got up to charge back at her. The pegasus was still recovering from the first impact which had left her bones rattling. It felt like she had slammed into the library tree a few consecutive times. Before she could fully shake her daze off, the earth pony was upon her swinging a hoof for her face. She jumped back causing the guard to stumble and lose his balance. Dash took the opportunity to lunge and deliver a solid punch to his helmet. The guard staggered backwards and began trying to correct his helmet which had twisted to the side and obscured his vision; while Dash held her hoof close to her chest and hopped up and down on her back legs.
“Ow, ow, ow, ow,” she chanted while she nursed her bruised hoof. So focused on her wound, she failed to notice the recovered guard charging at her once more until it was too late. Rainbow Dash saw a blur of blue and suddenly felt an explosion of pain in her left eye. She landed on her back and quickly threw a hoof over her eye to suppress the ache.
Applejack and Pinkie Pie were in the middle of dealing with the third guard when AJ saw Rainbow go down. “Hold on RD imma comin’. Pinkie, can you handle this blockhead?”
Pinkie danced in between the guard’s attacks, quickly agitating him. “Yep, no problemo!” she chirped. The guard lunged forward with his spear to make a stab at Pinkie who took a hop to the left and struck with the spear she had taken from the first guard, knocking the other weapon out of her opponent’s mouth. Stunned by the pink pony’s moves, the guard failed to defend himself when Pinkie came over and began rapping the metal end of the spear against the side of his helmet giving him a horrendous headache much like his partner. He finally collapsed to the ground, clutching his head and moaning while Pinkie Pie gave a small victory dance.
Applejack raced over to where Rainbow Dash was holding off her attacker who was bearing down on her, their hooves locked in a struggle. Getting into range, the orange earth pony turned on her hooves and struck her back legs out, delivering a powerful buck to the enemy’s helmet. The headgear went flying off and the stallion beneath it quickly covered his face and screamed, “MY EYES! THE LIGHT, IT BURNS AUGHHH!” With a lighter buck, Applejack proceeded to knock him in the head again and put him out of consciousness.
AJ helped Dash back to her hooves, “Thanks AJ, I owe ya,” Rainbow said, clutching her bad eye. With her good one she looked over at the unconscious pony beside them. “What was that all about?”
Applejack shrugged, “Not sure. Maybe where they come from the sun ain’t as bright.” She looked back over to Rainbow who was still covering her eye. She frowned and reached over to move the hoof out of the way but the proud pegasus swatted her off. “Rainbow let me see that,” she said sternly.
Rainbow Dash turned away. “It’s nothing, I’m fine!”
“Rainbow…”
She looked over her shoulder, “Shouldn’t you go help Twilight and Rarity?”
Applejack whirled around just in time to see the last guard drop to the floor. His helmet was removed and s dreamy smile was on his face. Standing over him were Twilight, Rarity, and Pinkie who was wearing his helmet. Applejack walked over to the trio and asked, “What did ya’ll do to him?”
“A simple sleeping spell after Pinkie took his helmet off,” Twilight explained. “It’s weird though, any direct magic spell I threw at him just bounced off. It’s like their armor is magic proof.”
“And did you hear the way he screamed like a banshee after Pinkie took his helmet off?” Rarity asked. “It’s like he’d never seen sunlight before,” she gestured up to the afternoon sky.
“Come on girls, hurry up,” Rainbow snapped at them. “Somepony else probably heard that commotion and could be here any second with backup.” She glared over at Pinkie who, unbeknownst to Rainbow, gave a wide smile from beneath her helmet. “You couldn’t have waited ‘till we got to the trees before attacking?” Rainbow Dash was never one to run from a fight, but even she knew when to time her battles and AJ had been right; there was no way she could fight against a squadron of these ponies.
“Sorry,” Pinkie apologized as she pulled off her helmet, her pink mane poofing out in every direction, “but they were about to blow our cover.”
“Besides, Ah thought you were all for fightin’ down these brutes?” Applejack said coyly.
“I was,” Dash began slowly, holding her bad hoof against her bad eye. “And then I hit one.” And then one hit me. Hard, she thought. “Anyways, where’s Fluttershy?”
Upon hearing her name, Fluttershy stuck her head out of a bush some distance away. Rainbow Dash would have facehoofed if she wasn’t already holding one to her face. “Over here. I umm, hid when the fighting started. Sorry.” She climbed out of the bush to rejoin her friends and let out a large gasp when her eyes fell on her fellow pegasus. “Rainbow Dash, what happened to your eye!?”
“Nothing!” she cried hastily, but Fluttershy was already on her, prying her hoof away to reveal a very swollen and puffy black eye.
Everyone gasped and Applejack let out a low whistle. “Whew, would ya look at that shiner.”
Rainbow Dash clamped a hoof back over it. “I-It’s not that bad… is it?”
Fluttershy pulled Dash’s hoof away again to examine it, her caretaker instincts kicking in. “We need to get you a bag of ice, stat!”
“Fluttershy, we don’t have time for that! We’ve got a job to do!” Twilight cried.
“Twilight’s right ‘Shy,” Rainbow concurred, throwing her hoof in front of her eye once more. “Let’s go fire our super rainbow beam and save everypony then you can fuss over me.”
Fluttershy bit het lower lip. She hated seeing her friends in pain, but they did have something very important to do. She turned around to see her friends giving nods of agreement. She sighed in defeat. “Alright, but the second this is over I’m going to treat your eye so don’t even think of flying off; understood young lady?” she finished in a kind but assertive tone.
The blue pegasus smiled and gave a mock salute. “Yes ma’am.”
With that settled, the six ponies ran off into the thicket making their way around a majority of the army setting up a small camp on the field within close proximity to the front of the portal. The group continued along their path until the brush came to end where they found themselves facing what one could consider the back of the portal. There was still a large amount of field between them and the tear in reality. They stepped out of the thicket, thankfully there seemed to be nopony else around.
Twilight stared into the portal, mesmerized by its very existence. Inside it looked to be a long, ethereal black hallway made of swirling shapes and shifting clouds that occasionally formed into strange faces and figures. But what entranced her most was what was at the end of the hallway for Twilight found herself staring at what appeared to be Ponyville. It was night and she could tell the buildings were laid out differently, but she was positive that she was staring at another Ponyville.
“Girls are you seeing what I’m seeing?” she whispered.
The other five ponies stared into the ethereal tunnel and beheld the same sight. Pinkie scratched her head in confusion. “But it’s daytime here, how can it be nighttime in there but daytime here? It’s the same Ponyville right?”
Twilight shook her head. “That’s just it Pinkie, I’m not sure if we’re looking at the exact same Ponyville.”
“What do you mean Twilight?” Rarity asked.
“I think,” Twilight started off slowly, a smile creeping onto her face, “that we may be looking at some alternate reality of Equestria!”
Rainbow Dash snorted. “An alternate reality, really Twi? That sounds like the plot to Daring Do and the Magic Mirror.”
Twilight narrowed her eyes. “Well how else do you explain the other Ponyville then?” She tapped her hoof on the ground waiting for a response.
“Uh, well simple, see… um…” Dash rubbed the back of her head. “Ok I got nuthin’. But still an alternate dimension seems to be kind far-fetched doesn’t it?”
“Who cares what it is!” Applejack yelled impatiently. “Can we just blast it and stop these ponies before they hurt somepony?”
“Right!” Twilight and Rainbow said in unison. “Girls, formation!” Twilight ordered.
The ponies fell into formation behind Twilight with their respective necklaces adorned around their necks. Twilight took a deep breath to slow her rapidly beating heart. Mentally prepared she called, “Ready girls?”
“Ready!” five voices answered.
Twilight closed her eyes and began to channel magic into her Element Tiara. Not the magic from her horn however, the magic from her heart. She called up every happy memory she had had with her friends, every experience that had brought them closer together, and every lesson she had learned from them about friendship and about herself and brought them to the surface of her heart . A pale white light encased Twilight and all her friends lifting them into the air; their necklaces glowing bright as their hearts resonated with Twilight’s. They all felt the warmth of their friendship coursing through their body like a welcoming fire on Hearth’s Warming Eve. There was a low humming sound as the ball of light around them grew brighter and brighter until it was blinding. A rainbow of color flew out of the sphere of light and towards the rift. It hit the opening and seemed to cover it in multicolored lights giving it the impression of a stain glass window. The Elements of Harmony continued to fire the rainbow beam for a few more seconds before everything began to die down. The light faded away and the six ponies slowly descended to the ground.
The first thing Rainbow Dash noticed when she opened her eyes was that she could open both of them. She blinked a few times before feeling it with her hoof. There was no pain in her eye or her hoof. “Awesome! I think the Elements of Harmony must have healed me!” she called to her friends. “Look, my black eye’s gone!”
Fluttershy trotted over and inspected it. “What a relief,” she breathed. “You look as good as new.”
“Ah guess the Elements decided to give us a quick refresher,” Applejack stretched feeling pretty good herself.
The girls were about to congratulate themselves on a job well done when Twilight interrupted them, “Um girls, you might want to turn around and look at this…”
Their backs originally turned away from where the portal was, the five mares swung around to see that it was still there. They all stared, wide-eyed and open-mouthed at it as the glossy rainbow coating over it seemed to get sucked into the black ether and dispersed among the swirling clouds. The rip remained like nothing had even happened.
There was a terse silence for a moment before Rainbow Dash jumped into the air and pointed an accusatory hoof at her friends. “Alright, which one of you wasn’t feeling the friendship?” They all looked at each other and shrugged.
“I don’t think it was a lack of friendship on our part,” Twilight interjected.
“Then what went wrong; if the Elements can take out Discord then why not this… thingy?” Rainbow flailed her hooves in the portal’s direction.
Twilight opened her mouth to give a response when somepony behind her screeched, “HALT!”
She wheeled back around to see an armada of soldiers running towards them. The group turned to run only to find their escape route blocked by swooping pegasi. The two sides closed in on them until the six were contained in a wide circle with spears pointing at them from all sides.
Twilight swallowed. This was not turning out to be such a good day.
******
Princess Luna sat alone at a large desk in the Starswirl the Bearded section of the Canterlot Royal Library. In front of her was the large hourglass in which beads of sand fell at a slow pace. The glass was enchanted so that the sands measured the length of an hour. When all the sand fell to the bottom the glass turned itself over and Luna would know that a new hour had begun. It was one of the few things that had survived the destruction of the castle in the Everfree Forest.
Across the desk lay scattered scrolls and tomes recently removed of dust. Just as her sister had ordered her to do, Luna had searched through whatever notes of interdimensional theory Starswirl had penned; which was to say, not many. And from the scrolls he did write, Luna found the knowledge to be something she already knew, or not helpful at all.
“…If we are to believe that a force such as Destiny does not truly exist and that we are indeed the masters of our own choices, then we must also consider the outcome every choice has on the overall universe. If one is given a series of option and he can only pick one, what happens to the other choices? Do they simply vanish and turn into ‘what if’s,’ or do they still exist in some other form? If an earth pony decides to take an extra job as a farm hand to earn some extra money a question of ‘what if he didn’t’ comes up. Again, if we assume that the universe is indeed infinite that would lead us to believe that somewhere out there, there could be anther Starswirl writing this paper. But what if the universe itself wanted to see a different outcome for a decision? That would lead us to the belief in alternate realities or other dimensions to be put simply…
"After collecting some more data, I’ve have added more to my hypothesis. If we are to believe in other realities a new question arises of where does ours end and something else’s begins? The law of teleportation only allows unicorns to teleport to places in their own realm, or at least that’s all that’s been tested. But whatever gave us the powers of teleportation would be fearful that we might warp ourselves into another dimension. Or at least that’s my thought. This leads me to believe that these dimensions, if they exist, are arranged in a home-like structure. There are several rooms, the rooms being the realities, closed off from one another. Yet nothing is ever fully closed off. It is my hypothesis that these realities are joined by a hallway if you will. A hall I have dubbed the Interdimensional Rift, the cushion between all possibilities.”
Luna set the paper down. She had already known of the existence of the Interdimensional Rift, and some of the horrors that lurked in its infinity, Starswirl had been correct about that. It was until today however, did she believe that anything lay beyond it. She thought it was just a pocket between their singular universe, and the realm of whatever came after this life.
The rest of Starswirl’s notes contained similar ramblings: more in-depth looks of how he reached his conclusions, and the very, very basic equation for interdimensional travel.
Luna had been correct; there was nothing here that would help remedy the situation in Ponyville. She stood up from the desk and stretched her back legs out before aimlessly wandering through the wing. Rows upon rows of some of the most interesting aspects of magic; and yet Luna was certain that reading through all of them would be a fruitless effort. Celestia seemed to believe that the Elements could not mend the tear. If the Elements couldn’t fix it then what in Equestria could? Luna was certain the answer was not in these dusty old books.
Luna had half a mind to join Celestia in Ponyville whether she wanted her help or not. It sure beat sitting around and reading, waiting to be needed.
She watched as the last beads of sand in the hourglass fell to the bottom before the entire thing flipped over and began its cycle anew. She then continued her restless pacing about the circular room, walking up and down rows of books and absentmindedly reading their titles.
“So this is what I spend my time doing in this world. How pathetic…”
Luna spun about, a blue aura surrounding her horn. That voice had not come out of her mouth but she knew it, she knew it like the back of her hoof because at one point in time it had been her voice. She slowly backed into the center of the room and began circling the hourglass, watching for any sign of movement.
“I must say, I look rather fetching in this world. It still doesn’t compare to my real beauty though.”
Luna clenched her teeth and seethed, “Where are you? Show yourself you phantom!”
There was a high cold cackle that filled the entire room and chilled Luna’s fur. She felt a rush of wind and suddenly found herself staring at the shadow of Nightmare Moon.
“Impossible,” Luna gaped. “You- you should not exist anymore. I have no more hatred for my sister; nor jealousy for the day that she rules. I cured my dark heart, why do you still haunt me?”
The shade laughed again. “Luna, you know it’s never good to lie, especially to yourself,” she spoke in a honeyed voice, the outlines of her mouth turned up in a devious smile. “Your hatred and jealousy for Celestia is as easy to see as the nose on your face, and while you say one thing, your heart says another.”
Luna gave a wild shake of her mane. “I will not be tempted again demon, I have learned my lesson!”
The shadow nodded, “Indeed you have. A thousand years in isolation, you’d be a fool not to take away some sort of lesson from that. But I’m surprised you don’t have any… resentment.”
Luna casted her gaze to the floor no longer wanting to make eye contact with her. “I- I deserved every second of that punishment. All of the ponies I hurt… the ones I killed… what I almost did to Tia…”
“You don’t think a thousand years was a little… excessive, harsh; a few days of eternal night for a thousand years in the moon?”
Her horn glowing brighter, Luna fired a burst of magic at the apparition who twisted her translucent body around it with ease. “I am not in the mood for mind games!” Luna hissed, “Return to the lonely corner of my mind where you belong!”
The spirit laughed again. “Oh, you think that I belong to you? Ha ha ha, forgive me and let me properly introduce myself, I am Empress Nightmare Moon, Keeper of the Blessed Moon and Ruler of Night Eternal. I am everything you failed to become one thousand years ago.”
It was then that everything clicked into place for Luna. The dimensional tear, the army, they were all Nightmare Moon’s; born from a reality where she had beaten Celestia. “So, this is all your doing then?” Nightmare Moon nodded. Luna snorted angrily, “Why, why attack us; aren’t you content with unbalancing your own world? And how in Mother’s name did you breach the Interdimensional Rift?”
“Don’t play dumb with me Luna! I know Celestia has been planning to invade my world and overthrow me for years now! I simply decided to make the first move.”
Luna raised an eyebrow at shadow. With great power comes great paranoia it seems, she thought, slightly amused. “We did not even know you existed until you came knocking today.”
“Determined to feign ignorance, hmm? Very well then deny your plan all you wish, it won’t change anything now. Soon Eternal Night will reign across two worlds!” She threw her head back and proceeded to cackle madly once more.
Now standing on the other side of things, Luna found everything about Nightmare Moon to be quite… disturbing. Had she really acted like that at one time; laughing maniacally while she planned to plunge the entire world into darkness? Yes, she had been that mare; she had given into her hatred and thrown everything away for dark powers and a chance to be better than her sister. Now that same mare was standing in front of her only more twisted and disturbed than she had been all those years ago. Luna found the circumstance felt almost like an out-of-body experience. She was staring at her darker half from a parallel dimension. Luna might have found it comical if it weren’t so serious.
“You are sadly mistaken if you think you can win against us,” Luna said. “Once Celestia finds out-“
“Awww, still running to Tia for all your problems?” Nightmare Moon babied. “What happened to that fiery temper you used to have Luna; or did that die with your Nightmare Moon?” Luna gritted her teeth together while the shadow continued to taunt her, “It truly saddens me to see you like this; left behind to do absolutely nothing while Celestia gets to go and hog all of the glory again. I can’t help but wonder if she even trusts you.”
With a scream of rage, Luna began firing volley after volley of magic projectiles at Nightmare Moon’s incorporeal form. The shade laughed while she weaved between the beams of magic which sailed onwards and smashed into bookcases, damaging several priceless books. “Coward,” Luna yelled, “stand and fight me!”
“If you think you can handle facing me on your own, then come after me,” Nightmare Moon invited as her shadow slipped into the wall and out of sight.
Luna stamped her hoof against the floor just as one of the castle guards came into the room. “Princess Luna, I heard a commotion… oh dear.” He gazed around at the damaged room; several bookcases were now toppled over and a few of the books were singed. “Wha- what happened in here?”
“It is none of your concern!” Luna snapped, brushing past the guard and out of the room taking a quill and two sheets of parchment with her. “Come,” she barked.
The guard quickly hurried after her and had to jog to keep with her quick pace. The Princess of the Night paid him little mind as she scribbled furiously on the pieces of paper. She finished and stopped so abruptly that the poor guard ran into her and stumbled back onto his haunches. Paying it no mind, Luna turned and dropped the two sealed scrolls into his lap. “Make sure those letters arrive to their intended recipients, and tell Lieutenants Starburst and Grey Shield to send a third of their troops to Ponyville.” She turned and strode away leaving the guard with a perplexed look on his face.
Luna knew it was probably a trap. Nightmare Moon had been egging her on the entire time, goading Luna into going after her. But Luna didn’t care; Nightmare Moon was her problem, her responsibility… her demon.
Luna grinned to herself, if it really was trap then at least Celestia would be here in case something happened, she thought remembering their conversation from earlier. Somepony had to be backup, and it wasn’t going to be Luna.
******
Spear after spear pounded against Twilight’s purple force field. Outside of the small protection zone was a sea of blue armored ponies desperate to get at Twilight and her friends who were all huddled close inside the unicorn’s proctective bubble. Twilight was starting to strain under the pressure the forces outside were putting on her. Unfortunately for her, there was nothing her friends could do to help her with her magic. She was on her own.
The guards relentlessly attacked the barrier which began to flicker faintly. Twilight wasn’t sure how much longer she could hold it, and she shuddered to think what would happen to her and her friends when it fell.
The inside of the shield was becoming rapidly uncomfortable thanks to their combined body temperature heating up the small space. It was starting to give them all a sense of claustrophobia.
“Twi, can’t ya teleport us to safety or somethin’?” Applejack pleaded. She was sitting in a cramped position between Rarity and Pinkie.
Twilight shook her head, “If I wanted to teleport I’d have to drop the force field first, besides I’m not even sure if I can teleport six ponies at one time.”
“Great, so this is how it ends, trapped like sardines!” Rarity lamented. “Ugh, and I’m starting to sweat too! I’m going to die sweaty and gross!” she sobbed.
Just when Twilight thought it couldn’t get any worse she heard Dash groan, “Great, more pegasi are on their way.” They already had a hoof full of pegasi stabbing away at the top of the shield, why send for more?
“Wait, isn’t that the Royal Guard?” Pinkie asked.
Twilight looked up at the purple tinted sky and saw that it was indeed true. Sporting their golden colors, wave after wave of pegasi swooped in to take on one of the enemy soldiers. Twilight was just about to breathe a sigh of relief when a bright light engulfed the six ponies. When she opened her eyes again she was stunned to see the inside of the Golden Oaks Library.
“Wait a minute; I thought you said you couldn’t teleport six of us at once?” Dash inquired.
“I can’t, I don’t know what happened.”
“That would be my doing,” a melodic voice chimed. In another flash of light Princess Celestia appeared before them. The little ponies gave a quick bow to their princess, relived that their shining monarch had come to their rescue.
Twilight quickly jumped up and began to explain to her mentor everything that had transpired with them: their witnessing of the portal opening, their handling of the guards, and their shortcoming with the Elements of Harmony. The princess listened with a solemn expression before nodding and saying, “I feared as much.”
“Wait, you Knew this was going to happen?” Applejack raised a wary eyebrow.
“After I received Spike’s letter explaining what you had gone to do, I began to hypothesize that they alone might not be enough to undo what has been done. I had hoped that I was wrong, but after listening to your story I’m sad to say my hypothesis was proven true.”
“So then how do we stop all this craziness?”
Princess Celestia sighed, “I have a few ideas, but they are risky, and dangerous at the least.”
Rainbow Dash shrugged, “So, that’s like a normal day for us. If it means saving Equestria then we’ll do it!”
There was a cheer of agreement and Celestia smiled down at all of them. “I hate having to send you girls into harm’s way time and again, but if anyone can do this, it’s you.”
Twilight beamed up at her mentor before letting out a small gasp and looking around. “Have you girls seen Spike yet?”
Her friends shook their heads causing Twilight to smile faintly. “I bet he’s upstairs sleeping. Let me go check on him real quick.”
Twilight turned and headed up the stairs towards her bedroom. Upon entering it, the unicorn could already feel something was horribly wrong. There was leftover dark magic floating in the air. “Spike…” she called uneasily. Inspecting her room closer, she found rows of claw marks that looked like something had been dragged out from underneath her bed. “S- Spike…” she called again, a lump starting to form in her throat. She then heard a miserable sound hoot sound off to her right. She turned and saw Owlowiscious lying on the ground half conscious. She gasped and ran over to scoop him up in her hooves. “Owlowiscious are you alright, what happened, where’s Spike?”
The owl let out a few pitiful hoots before motioning his head to a dark spot in the wood. Setting the him on her back, Twilight walked over and examined it. It looked like a type of burn mark left behind when a unicorn teleported.
“Owlowiscious, did somepony come in here and t- take Spike away?”
He gave a sad hoot.
In an instant, Twilight’s whole world melted away. She couldn’t see anything, couldn’t hear anything. She didn’t notice when her friends came up to see why she was taking so long. She was only aware of the same thought repeating in her head over and over again: somepony had taken Spike.
Spike was gone…
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Yes, a new chapter, I've been looking forward to this!.
Good start, I do think tribe would work better than race, but that's a minor quibble.
I liked the mention of the Changeling invasion encouraging Canterlot to take things mroe seriously.
In fact I love the entire introductions the military, the nobles the under siege. again line and the hysterics and selfishness of the nobles it was just really good.
I really liked Ceelstia's scene she's calm but certainly not in control of the situation.
I do have a hard time believing Discord can travel dimensions mostly because, he probably would have shown up to free himself or destroy any world that defeated him if he could. That and why did Luna say she didn't believe in it, yet also said Discord could do it, sorry. I was a bit jilted when the scene suddenly changed form Ceelstia's perspective then to Luna's for a paragraph, but besides that it was a very solid scene between the two sisters. I especially like the "you'rte kidding right" line and the affection and worry Ceelstia showed for Luna.
Very interesting thoughts with the elements only half fixing the problem.
Great scene with the Ponyvillains panicking as normal and the M!6 using the chaos to subtly sneak through the enemies, I like the level of thought that goes into their actions. I have mixed feelings about the guards commenting on the hotness of a unicorn and the like but the head guards reaction was well done, I especially liked the idea of an escort. Not a bad fight scene, the details were really good, seeing RD get thrown around was a bit odd and Pinkie well it's a matter of personal taste, and she's always a mixed bag with me. Besides that the details were very good and the action fast paced, I love the idea of magic proof armor. I also liked Dash's reaction to her injury and the fight overall.
I loved the details of the Rainbow cannon hitting the portal and the "who wasn't friendshipping hard enough" response to it not working. It is a bit of a shock that there were no guards, but if it can't be closed that makes more sense. The Luna scene and especially the excellent world building description of multiple realities was really well done. I like the implication of the "horrors" Luna mentioned existing between dimensions. Luna's reaction to NMM worked very well especially her running off to fight her counterpart, great scene there, NMM did seem a bit modern/casual in her turn of phrase but besides that, fantastic scene.
Hooray I loved the scene setting and Ceelstia saving the M!6, I did feel the explanation could have used a prompt but besides that, great scene, and wonderful to see Celestia getting in on the action. Amazing and tragic end to this chapter, Peewee's sadness and Twilight practically breaking from the loss of Spike, that scene was very well done.
Overall my the few issues, mostly to do with character perspective, I've had were minor and but crumbs in comparison to what was an excellent and well developed chapter with lot's of action and development with some great foreshadowing, I am eagerly awaiting the next installment.
1913864 Thanks for the feedback
Yeah, Discord, thanks for pointing that out, when it was in my head it sounded fine, not that you've pointed it out, that might be a plot hole later.
Would you believe I spent hours over the scene with Ponyville? I don't know why but it was the hardest part to write this chapter, but I'm glad it turned out okay.
Yeah Nightmare Moon is harder to write than I thought. I'll probably come back to fix that later.
This probably was the most satisfying chapter I've written. I'll make edits when I'm ready to try my hand at EQD, which might be after the next chapter.
1915451
NP, I'm glad to have been of some use, that Ponyville scene was very well done, so it seems your hard work paid off, best of luck with the next chapter and EQD.
And thus, it continues. Luna has met her counterpart, and leader of this invasion, Spike has been taken, and the Elements of Harmony cannot destroy the portal to this alternate reality. How will the Mane 6 be able to cope with this? We must wait, and find out.
Thanks for updating Albinocorn. This was honestly worth the wait, and I can't wait to see what happens next.
This review is brought to you on behalf of the group: Authors Helping Authors
Primoris Concordia: Mingling Worlds
Grammar score out of 9/10 (There are a few typos scattered throughout. Otherwise your grammar is excellent.)
Pros: First up, your characterizations are wonderful. Take Sombra for instance, I did not care for the character at all in the show, but here he was one of my favorite characters in this story. I love the interaction between him and Other Twilight (who I am really interested in seeing more of). After the first few scenes taking place in the Other Equestria, I thought your entire story would be really dark in tone, then you surprised me by having our Equestria feel exactly like the one in the show. Next up, the darker scenes like when Sombra attacks Spike or Nightmare Moon nearly kills Other Twilight have real tension to them. I was worried for both of those characters. Finally, the storytelling itself feels very polished, like you know where you are going with the story and what each character's role is going to be. The dialogue between characters, particularly the Mane Six, is great.
Cons: The typos are a bit distracting. (And that's about it. I know I'm supposed to list three in an AHA review, but I'm afraid your story is really hard to criticize. All your characters act like themselves. Action, setting, and dialogue are all handled with deftness.)
Notes: I am interested to see where this goes from here. It was great to see Twilight bluescreen when she realized that Spike was missing. I really want to see what happens with Other Twilight. The Luna versus Nightmare Moon scene was really cool. I like how Luna is trying to get out from under Celestia's overprotectiveness. (Though I loved seeing Celestia be so protective of her sister.)
Enjoy your review! Please help me out by looking at my story, Celestia in Excelsis. And thank you.
1935797 Lol, thank you, I pride myself in my fourth grade writing skills.
I will take the idea about the prologue into consideration, and yeah the shortness of the second chapter does bug me a bit, but i couldn't think of a way to make it longer without revealing too much yet, and it just didn't seem to fit in with the prologue.
Thanks for the review.
1935918
I'd suggest just expanding upon Alt. Twilight and Alt. Sombra's relationship. You don't have to reveal any groundbreaking history about them. Sometimes a simple conversation can reveal a lot about two characters.
This review is brought to you on behalf of the group: Authors Helping Authors
Primoris Concordia: Mingling Worlds (Up to Chapter 3)
Grammar score out of 10 (8) There are a few comma issues scattered throughout the story, but they are nothing major.
Pros
While the story is ‘dark,’ you handle the subject masterfully. The subject matter in the alternate universe is grim, but you skillfully write it so that it is not grotesque. You get the suspense, dark emotions, and uncomfortable scenes to fit into the story in a way that adds understanding of Nightmare Moon and Sombra. That is not a mean feat at all.
You capture the established characters’ personalities very well. Each one acted, and spoke, in a way that fits with the series.
This is a very interesting beginning to a story, and has quite a few intriguing ideas that can be worked with. The escaped unicorns’ plight and the alternative Twilight’s relationship with Sombra by themselves are full of possibilities.
Cons
Well, I have to say I really can’t find three things that I can point at that need improvement.
In chapter 3, paragraph 5. The phrase “only been well over a year” seemed a little awkward.
Personal Notes
This is a wonderful beginning to an epic. Your story telling skills are very strong, and I am looking forward to seeing how you craft the rest of this story. Thumbs up and a favorite from me!
Enjoy your review, and thanks again for reviewing To Fear the Sun!
This review was brought to you by Authors Helping Authors
Primoris Concordia: Mingling Worlds
Chapters 1 to 4
Grammar: 9.5/10 (I, for the life of me, could not find any glaring issues. Your sentences and paragraphs are really well structured There were a few commas scattered in odd places, sure, but I had to really pay attention to notice those.)
Pros: Suspenseful, exciting, great characterization... It's dark, sure, but it's handled exceptionally well in such a way that I enjoyed what I had read.
Cons: ... I got nothing. Well, except for the fact that there just isn't enough! I want more new chapters so badly, you don't even know.
Personal Notes: None that I haven't already said throughout the review already. Dayum son.
Thanks for reviewing my fic. Every bit of criticism helps, you know. Hope my two cents made your life all the richer!
1941014 The feelings to your story are mutual. Thank you and keep up the good work!
This review is brought to you on behalf of the group: Authors Helping Authors
Name of Story: Primoris Concordia: Mingling Worlds
Grammar score: 9.5/10 (For minor punctuation misplacement)
Pros: +Parallel World story executed very well
+Characterization is spot on
+Imagery through description is spectacularly well done
Cons: +Minor grammar issues, but not by any means illegible
Notes Section: Holy Alternate Reality, Batman! This is really good story!
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing my story! I can't wait for this to update!
1945045 lol. thank you for the review. And no problem.
1915451
Really? Well you'd better make the next chapter soon. This fic deserves to be on Equestria Daily.
Pardon my vulgarity, but as I was skimming around for a good story, I came upon this title. I had only taken in the first part of it and the beginning of the next word which is 'C,' which my brain decided to fill it in with another word that rhymed with 'Primoris,' if you know what I mean.
Internet, what have you done to me!?
2128536 It took me a good five minutes to figure out what you meant. And I hate you so much.
jk.
In terms of percentages, (ex:10%) how close is the next chapter to this fanfic to being completed?
2135014 About.. 35% I came to a rather rough spot but after I get past it, I pretty much have everything laid out in my head for the rest of the chapter. But I'm also going to go back and do some updates on the previous chapters. If school doesn't get in the way too much I think I can have it ready to go by next monday. I know it's been a while, I was waiting on the season finale before continuing.
Agreed with vazak , Love how each scene seems to contribute to the story as a whole and felt like they were needed instead of being there for the sake of being there. I've read several stories that half the scenes felt like they were just added in for the sake of it.
Took me by surprise Sombra in this story is more like Jafar (which to me suits him much better) and actually has motive for his actions other than "My queen asked me so I'll do it." excuse, and it really surprised me he went for spike instead of Twilight. Personally I thought he would have went for her, and when spike got caught instead blew my mind.
I'm unsure I why backed burner this story but I'm Happy I'm correcting this wrong and reading it once more. Looking forward to your next chapter.