I love getting feedback and constructive criticism. Please feel free to comment. If you take the time to comment, I will take the time to respond.
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After seeing Luna at the Nightmare Night festival in Ponyville, one pony's dreams become haunted by nightmares of her banishment. His efforts to overcome these nightmares, and the overzealous help of a young dragon, cause him to be summoned before the two celestial sisters. From them, he learns that Luna's stay on the moon was not a punishment, but a sacrifice to protect all of Equestria.
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I think that this is a very interesting take on Luna’s descent into madness and the causes of it.
I like the treatment of Luna and Celestia and look forward to more of your work.
I wonder how I missed this. The plot is something I haven't given much thought to, since it seems most stories that has ponies worrying about being banished to the Moon are bash fics, but this got me thinking much like Quill. What do the average pony think about Celestia and Nightmare Moon's banishment? Perhaps I should look into that.
I like you execution of Nightmare Moon's banishment and Luna's Fall. I do go for the drawn out civil war and the Long Night, the idea of Luna fighting off the Taint and in the end giving Celestia the go ahead for banishment is interesting.
I do look forward to seeing more by you.
1719580 Thank you! I had always thought it strange that somepony of Luna's age and experience would fall as she did. I could not wrap my head around the whole situation until the season 3 premiere, then a couple of things clicked together in my head. I wrote this trying to stick to the canon as best as possible, while giving a possible explanation for what happened to her. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
1776190 Thank you. Quill's fears echo some of my own about what occurred to Luna. I had difficulty reconciling Luna's fall with what was known about her and Celestia. I have really made some changes to this story since you read it an commented. Thank you for putting up with that VERY rough version long enough to get through it.
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At least you are willing to show that Celestia wasn't malicious in her reasons to banish Nightmare Moon to the Moon. And reconciling the even to the characters, dude that is understandable. Perhaps that is one reason I went with the idea that Luna was Tainted (by Tirek rather than Sombra), and for the six month civil war... and having Luna pleading with Celestia to send her away.
Love it, love it, love it! I had a little trouble figuring out the characters at the beginning, but that's probably just me. It's hard finding a good Luna-Celestia fic, but this one was definitely one of them! I liked the portrayal, nice Celestia is my favourite and it seems very realistic that she wouldn't want to banish Luna, and poor Luna being a martyr there ...
'She will be sorely missed.' (Funeral guy voice) Anywho, will be checking out your other fics now.
1871810 Thank you! This story has a particular spot in my heart due to the subject matter, and it is the first that I have published on the web.
I'm glad that you enjoyed it, I hope that you like my other stories just as well.
This review is brought to you by Authors Helping Authors
To Fear the Sun
Grammar: 10/10 (pretty good, didn't catch anything notable)
Pros: A very interesting take not only on Luna's banishment, but on how some ponies would view Celestia knowing that she had sent her own sister to the moon. Dialogue was pretty good, though a little stiff at some points. The interactions between characters was also very well done. I love seeing Luna and Celestia caring for each other. Pacing is also done pretty well.
Cons: It was hard to follow who was talking or being addressed at some points. This is mostly in the beginning. You also could have elaborated more on the nightmares Quill was having, or how it was affecting him. Again, the dialogue was good, but it felt stiff in a few places.
Notes: Overall, a pretty good story with an interesting perspective on Nightmare Moon and the reservations normal, everyday ponies would have about Celestia banishing them. Personally I was never a fan of tyrant Celestia. Good job, keep up the good work.
If you can spare time, please read my story Primoris Concordia: Mingling Worlds and tell me what you think. Please and thank you.
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Thank you for taking the time to review my story. To Fear the Sun was my first work, and it shows. Thanks to writers like you, I will be able to improve my skills much quicker. I will be looking over your story shortly.
Wait... Wow. I just looked at this again, and apparently the review I wrote for this wasn't posted...
2016175 We'll blame it on Discord, and keep right on going. Thanks for taking the time to read my story, and for writing a review. If the review has been lost, please don't go through the trouble of re-writing it. I will be more than happy to return the favor, just tell me which story you would like me to review.
2016927
Oh, no, it's fine. You've already written me a review.
Beautifully done. I do wish there was a little more concerning your protagonists' realization that they needn't Fear the Sun. Luna sort of cuts off any further discussion of the heart wrenching anguish Celestia's feeling, but it seems that a pony like Quill, who is obviously so empathetic (and was recently terrified about a trip to the moon) would say something about it.
All that aside, though, this was really good. A green, upward hand thing and a star for you!
2859349 I appreciate the comment and feedback! Hearing from readers always make my day.
This was my first story, and it shows. I'm happy with it, don't get me wrong, but now that I have more experience and have learned from my fellow readers and writers on this site, I realize how much I could have improved this story.
I didn't really know how to handle writing Quill's reaction to Celestia's words and emotions. Quill's questions to Celestia did not really treat the issue very well, but I was not sure how to write it without it seeming to go over the top. I agree with your point, but I'm afraid I'm not a skilled enough writer to tackle the problem at the moment. I have been challenged by a friend of mine to rewrite this story with the new canon from the recently released comics. If I take a crack at it, I will certainly keep your ideas in mind. I think having more of a reaction from Quill would add something to story that it lacks at the moment.
Thanks again, and take care!
Cool interpretation of what happened when Nightmare Moon was banished.