Twilight Sparkle finds her long lost brother and wants him to reconcile with the family. Only that maybe it was probably for the better that they haven't.
*cover-art by Morfonious*
Chapters (29)
NocturneD85
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Wow, a very nice and original story, i hope to see more of it in the future.
Nicely done, i wonder if this is somehow tied into the Forbidden Fruit arc? Probably not, nonetheless its quite the read. Well done indeed.
1286626 This. I would love it if she actually reveals herself as the Twilight Sparkle.
Ouch :(, let's see what happens next chapter.
Ha, well well so it does ties into the Forbidden Fruit story-arc after all. Very nice side story regarding your universe and providing background to original characters mentioned in your stories, very nice work indeed man.
By the way,
You need need to remove a paragraph break where the ¶ is placed, just pointing out an error nothing else.
Anyhow I wished you the best of luck and say keep up the good work man. Peace
1302585 Actually. It might reference it, but its an entire different universe. Maybe as a joke I slipped something in.
Ohhh so Twilight likes one of those brothers! Booya haha.
Great story so far, but i would recommend proofreading a bit more, or even getting an editor. I love the story, but the grammatical errors are a bit common.
1339448 thanks for the recommendation but I think I can handle this one on my own. I got a proof-reader for Too Good To Be True and, I'm starting to notice my own errors.
Hisssssssssssss parents!
1425010yeah it gets pretty bad
Well, its time for Shiny to get his ass kicked by a cyborg.
Nice chapter
And its slowly circling down the drain. That dinner party is going to be interesting.
1568473 this chapter's 1st draft actually caused a bit of a backlash if you want to believe
1568485 well, not sure if i should mention it fully here because anyone can just jump in. let's just say that Velvet was sexually starved and some things had to be rewritten. I was even called out on it because half of the viewers wanted the sparkle family to be redeemable while others wanted them to suffer. I had so many requests to have Shining get his head beat in as well as Orion's.
1568551 i know that but there are some people can be turned off from what seemed like a simple thing that can just make a sudden left turn into something atrocious, I even got PMs saying I was sick for doing something that i wish not to repeat. Let's just say, there was probably some poor taste involved and maybe talks of implied rape in this chapter when it first came out. Why I kept Velvet doing what she did in her office is to give something about her character being left miserable that she has to fantasize and take up drinking, not in great detail but hey there had to been some motivation going. But yeah, doing stuff to her son... It took maybe a whole afternoon to see where some people are coming from.
1568621mmhmm, one of the pms said that too.
i love this story so heart wrenching
1568473 they have good qualities but abuse is never excused
1569405 i actually teared up when writing the next chapter
Wow.....lots of layers here and interesting complexity, good story.
1572073thank you, anything you like in particular? any moments you didn't like?
1571803cant wait
Beautiful chapter, but you shouldn't use that picture for this story. General Zao's pony creator usually puts off most of readers- just saying.
1582157 oh i understand about the picture because it might seem generic but i really needed a cover image for this story because it seemed rather bare. also, i have lost contact with an artist who said she would do fan art for this story, don't have a clue where she went.
1582168 I could give you a hand on that regards, just let me photoshop for bit then Ill post it.
really? i mean you really don't have to
HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG
1582185 i.imgur.com/MzFlA.png
Let me know if you want any changes, with regards of font type or the picture itself.
1582244 wow that does look mysterious and very alluring. by any chance did you somehow use the original image for Van with the shadow?
1582252 Yeah, I just used a pony stallion base and presto. Just let me know if you want any changes.
1582256 can't really think of anything really. thank you very much.
just out of curiosity though, are you an artist? i know you only mentioned photoshop but can anything be done on there to help make a still image scene? i was thinking of actually adding images here and there.
1582268 I'm no artist but I do know my way around Photoshop and such. Also, may I input my personal opinion in this? I don't think you should add images in your current story, it would ruin the flow you know?
1582288 fair enough. By the way i finally put the image up and put your name on the credits.
don't mind me asking is there anything you like the most? the worst? what do you think of the OCs?
Is it over? Or is there more. It is still marked incomplete, so hmmm I wonder...
1583770 there's more,
1583918 Yes! Yay! Lol
My reaction to hearing there is more (start video at 30 seconds and watch till 38 seconds)
Booya
Nuff said.
1587066Holy crap!? Did I get first AGAIN!?
........Wierd. I'm never so quick to read an entire chapter, let alone twice and still be in the first 5 comments.....
*looks in soda can* Did someone slip a hallucinogen into my drink....? I'm confuzzled.
Im not sure adding japanese expressions into parts is a great idea. Just sounds really weeaboo imo.
1588332 well that's just basically for one character that uses anime expressions, he's pretty much the only one that does it because he's supposed to stick out. everyone else, pretty much pony related.
I approve of this chapter.
started reading this story at 5:00 am finished at 7:20. This story is so awesome.
1592217 wow that early?
1336481
"Azorath Metreon Zinthos!"
That or she's completely oblivious.
AUGH! My squiggley-spooch!
1520167
Soon...
Some more insight on what Lorenzo was studying would be nice...