Prevented
A stallion found himself watching the sunset.
He was standing on a balcony on one of the residential towers in Canterlot; the Princess had given him a room there while he recovered from his ordeal, to give him some distance from prying eyes and ears while staying within the confines of the castle. He wasn’t confined to the room, and on occasion the Princess or her sister or her niece or some other pony came to visit and talk. He enjoyed the visits from her niece the most; the last time she’d visited she’d let him listen to her belly, and her baby had kicked him in the ear hard enough to send him sprawling on the floor. They’d both started laughing at that.
Then a little while later she’d told him it was a filly. He’d started crying at that.
He heard, rather than felt, somepony teleport into his room. He didn’t bother turning around.
“I was expecting you earlier.” he said.
“I apologize, Shining.” the ruler of Equestria replied. “I… found myself forced to attend to other matters.”
The stallion simply shrugged. After several seconds of silence, the other pony - if she could be called that - stepped out beside him.
“Do… do you know what happened?”
The stallion nodded. “The root of her horn had grown, rapidly enough to tear through her magic membrane. The pressure and radiation hitting her frontal lobe would have done enough damage to cause poor judgement, mood instability, amorality, severe shifts in personality and temperament…”
“Everything and more to turn her into Dawn.” the ruler of Equestria said.
“Or push her in that direction, at least. She was never the most stable of ponies, and I can’t imagine that she’d ever react well to those revelations; she might not have gone Dawn’s route, but there still would have been… problems.”
“Admittedly so. Have they found a cause for her initial condition? The inflammation of the root of her horn?”
“…they think it might have been a complication from her becoming a unicorn again.”
“…I see.”
There was silence for a time. Eventually the ruler of Equestria spoke again.
“It’s beautiful. I had forgotten what it truly looked like after all these years.”
The stallion didn’t immediately respond, instead glancing down towards the main courtyard of the castle. A grin formed on his face as he saw who was entering it.
“You might want to cast your eyes a little bit lower.”
She gave him an odd look for a moment before following his gaze. She watched as five ponies and a small dragon travelled up to the centre of the courtyard, each showing clear signs of excitement and agitation. Her brow furrowed in confusion.
“What are they-”
“Just watch.” the stallion interrupted.
She watched as the castle doors opened, and an alicorn and a guardspony stepped out. These two also walked to the courtyard’s centre, stopping only a short distance away from the first group. They stood facing each other for some time, holding a conversation that neither pony on the balcony could hear. The first group grew visibly more agitated, and started walking up to the doors, the two newcomers following a short distance behind them. The ruler of Equestria glanced at the stallion once more, her wings shifting anxiously.
“Shining-“
Then the doors opened. Two alicorns slowly emerged, taking small steps to keep pace with the uncertain stride of the pony between them.
A purple unicorn mare, with a single wing folded at her side.
The ruler of Equestria stopped breathing.
“The local Shining Armor put a barrier around her root at the size it was supposed to be. The doctors found the swelling and the damage when they were making sure he hadn’t done anything else to her; they removed the excess and healed the membrane, and all of a sudden she was a lot more rational when she woke up.” He glanced at the mare frozen beside him, watching as her eyes started to shimmer. “She has some motor function damage, a bit of memory loss, and she’s never going to be able to do magic quite the same way that she could...”
The group in the yard had frozen, and the unicorn stepped out from between the alicorns, her stride growing longer and more confident as she got closer to them. Then they too surged forwards, meeting the mare with an enthusiastic cry that easily carried up to the two observers.
“TWILIGHT!”
“…but she’s alive, sis.” The stallion broke into a smug grin as the tears began to flow down his sister’s face. She turned to him, fear and relief warring in her eyes.
“D-did it work? Is the timeline-“
“We don’t know for sure. Pip’s still looking for the traverser; she’s a little tricky to find, given how little we know of her, but I’m sure he’ll be able to track her down.” The stallion popped his tongue, her eye sliding over to meet hers directly. “But Dawn isn’t going to rise. Celestia isn’t going to die. I’m pretty damned sure we did it.”
“Oh, thank Faust… I’ll be the last…” The stallion’s sister gave into her sobs, letting her tears flow freely for the first time in nearly a decade. He watched in silence, suppressing the urge to wrap a leg around her and provide what little comfort he could to the mare. He wouldn’t be able to touch her in any case; intangibility was an unfortunate side effect of the translinear projection used to observe timelines. Her cries ceased eventually, and when her eyes returned to her they held a calm resolution.
“When’s the execution date?” the stallion asked. His sister took a breath.
“Tomorrow. They intend to hang me from the highest tower, such that the whole of Canterlot can watch me struggle, then dismember my corpse and carry a piece to every city, town, and village in Equestria.”
The stallion flicked his ear at the tone in her voice. “…but you don’t intend to let them to do so.”
The mare nodded once.
“I have given up many things in these last few months. Most of them did not rightfully belong to me. Some of them did, and I accepted their loss as my punishment.” She took a breath. “But my life? I think I’ll be a little selfish and keep that for myself.”
Her horn glowed, and a line of magic appeared around her neck. She closed her eyes for several seconds, then opened them again, giving him one last look-
“Goodbye, Big Brother, Best Friend Forever.”
-and then she was gone.
The stallion’s eye roamed the empty space beside him for a few moments before he turned it back down to the courtyard. His gaze falling upon the mare sitting on the grass below, surrounded by her friends and family. Smiling, laughing, and alive.
“Goodbye. Twily.”
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7091226
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7091454
I'm kinda sad nobody noticed the secret message in the author's note.
7091873
I did. Admittedly I only just got around to reading the prior chapter, but…
I'm going to have to read this like three times to understand this. But I have a strong feeling I'm going to like it.
So wait... Let me get this straight: Dawn comes to the timeline, talks to Broken, learns what caused her... Like she didn't already know? Learns that Twilight in this timeline lives (Yay) and then she leaves to go somewhere else? So wait, she/Pip/Broken were all in on a conspiracy the whole time and trying to save Twilight's life?
My confusion aside, this was a wonderful story. This was actually among the first stories I ever read here, holding a special place on a piece of paper I used to use to keep track of stories I was reading before I had an account. I am sad that it is finally over, but happy at the same time.
Thank you for writing this.
7092174
Dawn didn't really come to this timeline like Broken and Pip did; she used a projection (eg a hologram), which is the same method she used when she visited Twilight earlier. And she didn't so much 'leave' as she did kill herself - she disappeared because her magic was sustaining the projection, and she ended it before she slit her throat open with the magic garrotte because she didn't want her brother to watch her die. I'd actually had a paragraph describing that, but my editor felt it didn't fit the scene.
Thank you for reading!
7092261 Thank you for the explanation! And I really did enjoy this so much! I think I'll be watching you for more stuff too now!
...
I'm...
I'm sorry, but I don't get what happened.
This story seemed like one thing but then it went 2+2=shoe and now I don't know what's going on.
I can't give this a fair rating because I'm not sure what the hell just happened?
7092522
I'm thinking there was another Twilight Sparkle out there in the multiverse who knew Dawn was coming and attacked first.
EDIT: or what 7092261 said, though I think I like my theory better.
No... There's no way this is over...
T-This is just a late April fools joke, right!? 
Y-Yeah that's it! It can't be over! 
Not after this much time, every suspenseful scene , just for it to end. Please tell me this is a jest, an impractical joke, a cruel cruel tease at our expense. 
7091855
I guess that all makes sense, I just can't see he Elements screwing things up that badly. They worked on Luna, they worked on Discord, they worked on Tirek... even the other ponies are confused as to how things went so very wrong. And as for Twilight herself, when did she become a master manipulator that can fool someone who has literally been around for centuries? Crazy or no, she's not that good a liar. Though I guess one could argue that Celestia wanted to believe her.
It's just... this whole thing seems like a very contrived way to force a 'Broken was right, Twilight has to die,' scenario. Is there supposed to be a message in there, are you trying to say they should have just let him murder Twilight? I guess I'm just not sure where you're going with this, it's all so very confusing. I just don't see the benefit of Twilight going crazy from a narrative perspective.
*And now with the semi-happy ending, heaven help me, I'm even more confused.*
It was over perhaps a little quickly there at the end, but overall I really liked this story. The gradually unfolding story of the alternate timeline kept my interest, and I think you handled well giving both Pip and Broken inherently biased and incomplete perspectives of the events that led to Dawn's rise.
I did have to read your comment to understand what happened in this last chapter, and I kinda feel like I missed a few things from earlier in the story. A separate blog post giving a more thorough explanation of a few things that were purposefully left ambiguous or not fully explained in the story (after all, our only glimpses of the other timeline were limited and somewhat skewed in nature) at some point would be greatly appreciated. I'm still left with a lot of questions, but in a good way.
In any case, this was a good story and I hope we get to see more from you in the future.
Ooh. Now that makes some sense. Still, never really explained how Twilight lost her....alicornhood?.../became unicorn again.
7091873
What was the message?
Good double bluff there, thought it was Celestia at first but then I realized what was going on and went back and reread it from the start.
I'm just a bit confused as to why Dawn is happy she's "the last one", from her characterization up till this point it doesn't quite fit. Then again we never got the full story about her, from her, so maybe I missed some clues in Broken and Pips halves.
Also, who and or what is the "traverser", because I think this is the first we are hearing about them.
Good story, happy to be along for the ride but now the ride is over so a bit sad. But all good things must end as they say.
7091873 What was the message?
7092522 Uh... Yeah, what you said. Did main timeline Twilight live or not? I still enjoyed it, though.
7094369
7094522
"I sincerely hope that it provides a... satisfying conclusion to the story, given how long I've made you wait for it. The written-in-2012 epilogue will be coming as soon as I stop laughing at your reactions."
Spoilered bit was super small text that may or may not have been recoloured.
Well, on the whole, I think this was a satisfying ending to the story. On the whole, though, I can't really say if I would have preferred this over Twilight actually dying and/or killing Celestia in the process. The whole happy ending maybe resolves itself out of all that a bit too suddenly. I hope the epilogue the comments hint at will make that feel a bit more complete and the cutoff less sudden.
Well, that was a rollercoaster. Went a bit weird at the end, but I believe I understand what happened: Dawn had a change of heart, and was helping Broken and Pip by the end?
Honestly, this could have been three or so chapters. There's a climax to the story, but barely any denouement. I'd have liked to see Twilight waking up and her reaction after surgery, making peace with Celestia (that probably had tears running out the hallway), etc.
Also, I would have liked to know what the hell happened to make Twilight revert to a unicorn in the first place.
...too much emphasis on the wheels within wheels, here. Or not enough.
This isn't some plot twist where you make the dramatic reveal, and, *GASP*, this changes EVERYTHING!
This is a plot twist where you make the dramatic reveal, and now half the plot doesn't actually make sense.
You've twisted the plot enough that it falls apart at the seams, but haven't taken the time to stitch it back together.
Kind of a let-down.
7091873 I have the dark color theme always enabled, do I always notice messages like that without knowing they're supposed to be secret.
So the epilogue to this was actually written before your Twilicorn blog post? Or did that part get changed over time?
This story was a wonderful ride.
Thanks for the beautiful work.
Okay, wait... Did Twilight kill herself? What's happening?
I mean, don't get me wrong, I absolutely loved this story, and will probably read it again some time, but I think I missed something important in the ending, because it seems like Twilight got healed only to come up and say "Later, thanks for the help, watch me die" to Shining. Or maybe it was Broken. I dunno. I'm terrible at reading between the lines and shit, and since no names were specifically mentioned, I guess I'm lost.
Cool story bro. 10/10.
7169579
Dawn killed herself.
Whew. I finally got around to catching up on this after something like a year, and boy were those last ten chapters or so a ride. Had to read this last chapter twice over, but having done so (and reconciling with my year-old memory of the firsr half...) I really enjoyed the way the pieces fit together. Thank you for writing!
7601570 Uh, cause fuck Celestia? Oh, and also because anyone with the power to reach out and move celestial objects shouldn't be losing battles of magical strength to anybody, love-roids be damned.
Eh, slightly disappointing ending.
I really hoped you'd exploit this:
“I never said that I want to kill Celestia.” [...] “I’d love to keep her alive to travel through the proper legal channels and receive an appropriate punishment for her horrific crimes, but I find it incredibly unlikely that she’d be willing to abdicate and submit to a fair trial,"
Celestia asks "why". Twilight answers the above. Celestia, rather surprised by the assumption, abdicates (leaving rulership to Luna with Cadence's support; obviously explains they are guilty of collaboration in crime only if she's actually found guilty of crime, so their eventual arrest must be deferred until after she's sentenced) - and submits herself to proper legal channels. Trial finds her guilty with a mountain of mitigating circumstances, resulting in an appropriate sentence: 500 years of public service, four hours three times a week aiding in orphanages, schools and hospitals. She's still permitted to return to her prior job of a princess. Co-conspirators face follow-up trials, with punishments ranging between a couple months of probation, token fines and suspension from service. They subject themselves to the punishment without any resistance.
Well, Twi - The public has spoken. Satisfied? Also, you are to face the charges of disturbing public peace, destruction of public property and reckless spellcasting. The prior two result in a ticket and a fine, but for the last one you lose your licence for magic until you complete the remedial courses in spellcasting safety and discipline at the Magic Kindergarten.
Here I go ranting again.
Spoilers at least as far as they are possible as I don't think I really understand the ending.
Overall I didn't like the story but I really didn't like the short abrupt and confusing ending as KnightMysterio called it 2+2=shoe
Twilight used to be an alicorn but it's never explained how or why she isn't now except in a comment https://www.fimfiction.net/story/50470/prevention#comment/6252219 outside of the story in short she lost it in the fight with tirek and while they probably could have healed her she didn't want to be a princess anyway so she let them amputate her wings.
There are lots of obvious things that should have been done throughout the story that just aren't and lots of things that obviously shouldn't have been done.
Way back in promise(ch3) pip offers to explain the document they refused they were killed over and they were interrupted and it was never really brought back up.
Then he followed celestia (why was he following celestia around??) into the cell with broken armor which resulted in him losing an eye. This also makes the ending revelation not make sense as if they really were working together since the beginning why would he go as far to permanently injure pip?
Pip has most of his emotions removed yet there is never any thought to try and restore them so he can live a normal life, likewise he never gains a cutie mark.
In perspective(ch19) they mentioned they had locked broken's magic which WHY DIDN'T THEY DO THAT BEFORE?!?
It's also implied that they might be from separate timelines but it's just difference in perspective
In philology(ch46) we found out that not only is this not even their original timeline (lots of historical events are different) but they are actually clones and the original pip and broken are still back in their original timeline dead presumably.
Broken and pip both kill changelings without repercussions even though it was stated earlier in the story that twilights equestria didn't kill them and didn't believe they deserved death.
twi/dawn has some oaths on broken which they never investigate which it seemed to imply were used to keep him from killing her but that was celestia earlier with the oath including dawn not twilight.
Celestia was going to do a public reveal which seems to have been skipped entirely since the readers know but we never got to see how the public took the revelation.
Pet was heavily implied to be trixie and it was implied that her original identity was being kept secret for some reason but her identity was never revealed.
On to the ending
The elements in an unbelievable (historically they've stoned anything they couldn't fix) screwup made twilight single minded and unable to resist the negative voices in her head like she had been doing turning her from a person hearing voices into a homicidal maniac resulting in the creation of dawn or effectively dawn.
The real dawn was using a hologram to speak to her cross universe but the voices in her head were her own.
She actually had a bad medical problem that drove her insane, because she lost her alicorn status and reverted to a unicorn it caused her horn to grow and press on the front of her brain making her violent and unable to reason properly.
They captured and had her confined after the elements screw up but yet somehow NO ONE thought to give her a health exam to make sure nothing was physically wrong with her mind.
They only noticed because of how shining subdued her after she skewered celestia.
Twilight is left with one wing, stunted magic, some memory loss and some motor function damage but she's alive traumatized but otherwise back to normal, it's never explained if the damage the elements did was fixed.
It heavily implies they (dawn, broken & pip) were all working together from the beginning of the story as pip was on dawn's side from the beginning and broken is shown conversing with dawn at the end it's foreshadowed earlier in the story but again with broken permanently injuring pip early on in the story that explanation doesn't make sense.
Dawn was scheduled to be executed yet it was never explained how or why. She's supposed to be like the leader of the rebellion and all the other alicorns are supposed to be dead so why? Why is she sane? Why do they want to kill her? Why does she kill herself? Why does she suddenly seem to care about preventing dawns from arising in other universes? Since she is happy she'll be the last, does that mean they are going to share the solution with the other time branches?.
Also what happened to the collapsing timelines thing?
My word some of these comments are vitriolic (and full of holes in their arguments). Hello from hell world, e.g. 2020 onwards. Kinda wild to me that I started watching the show in 2014 and that was 8 years ago, and this absolute behemoth of a story (literally x times as long as an average novel) was written even farther back than that. I really loved it; killed this whole story inside a week. Thanks for making this gem. I won't forget it.
I just have one question how can the princesses be against democracy when ponyville has a mayor an elected official
And also another thing shouldn't they be a lot more concerned that pipsqueak is willing to kill himself if given the order I mean shouldn't this be proving shining armor point more