“If I may answer your concerns, Miss Twilight?”
The unicorn glanced at her travelling partner as she drew in another large breath; Pipsqueak blinked, giving her a stare that was somewhat disarming in its lack of clear emotion. He had refused to stay in the hospital after Path left, tolerating one last checkup when Twilight returned before fleeing from the building as calmly as possible. She coughed and blushed, suddenly aware that she’d been talking to the pony almost nonstop for the last thirty minutes.
“Oh, of course …” Twilight winced as she swallowed, her throat making its claims of abuse clear. Pip nodded.
“Firstly, I was not previously aware of the deaths of the guardsponies alongside Luna’s. Nor was I aware that she lived long enough for Celestia and Shining Armor to find her.” Pip blinked again. “I am… saddened, I believe, that she suffered her injury for so long.”
“You believe?” Twilight asked. Pip exhaled.
“I am unaccustomed to wilfully expressing my emotions, Miss Twilight. I feel a mix of pity for her and disgust at my hoof in her suffering, but ‘saddened’ seemed a better word to convey the general feeling.”
Twilight frowned, but nodded. “It works, Pipsqueak. I didn’t mean to sound rude if I did.”
“Thank you, Miss Twilight, and do not fear my offence.” Pip nodded back at her. “To continue in your inquiry, I was aware that oaths involved spells being placed on one’s mind to ensure their fulfillment. I was not aware that Lady Dawn placed so many oaths on me that they came into conflict with one another. I do not recall swearing ‘thousands’ of oaths to her, so it is likely that many of the spells present in my mind are related to the Raising process or were placed there by her through other avenues.”
“‘Other avenues’? Broken was fairly adamant that she never directly compulsed anyone, and when Broken’s defending Dawn…”
“I was not speaking of direct compulsive spells, Miss Twilight. It may be that any order I received from Lady Dawn created a new ‘oath-type’ spell, given that I had sworn to serve her ‘with full heart and mind’, to paraphrase the Risen Oath.” Pip drew a breath. “Dawn’s spells on Broken Shield can be similarly explained as her obtaining his word through force or trickery, although I cannot speak of their exact arrangement or composition.”
Twilight sighed. “I can’t really expect you to. That whole conversation threw me a bit, so finding those spells…” She shook her head. “Do you think he even knows about them?”
“I highly doubt that he does, Miss Twilight, but there is a definite possibility. I would recommend that you avoid bringing them up to him, lest he believe that you placed them there or simply lose what little sanity he has from the revelation that his most hated enemy has been manipulating him for some time.”
Twilight blinked. “Did you know about them?”
“I cannot say that I did, Miss Twilight.” Pipsqueak’s ear flicked as the two rounded the corner. “Though I cannot imagine why she would have placed spells upon him without one that prevented him from escaping custody and causing the damage that he did.”
Twilight glanced at the other pony, her brows furrowing. “What damage did he cause?”
Pip was silent for a few seconds. “I… cannot recall.”
Twilight’s frown deepened. “Are you okay, Pipsqueak? Is it-“
“No, Mila- erhem, Miss Twilight. I am not in pain, and I do not believe that a spell is restricting my memory.” He blinked. “I am simply… I cannot remember any details about his escape.”
“Hmm.” Twilight watched the earth pony carefully; the last few minutes of the walk were in silence, breaking only when Twilight opened the door to the library.
“If I may make a suggestion, Miss Twilight?”
“You don’t need my permission, Pip…”
“My apologies, Miss Twilight.” Pipsqueak blinked. “Dr. Shelter made mention of several spells enacted upon Broken Shield that he was unable to remove, and you requested a list of the spells. Mayhaps the spells that were tied to Broken’s mind are present on that list, and Dr. Shelter did not recognize the significance of them?”
Twilight blinked several times as Pipsqueak’s words filed through her head. Then she leapt at him, throwing her forelegs around him and squeezing him in a hug.
“Thank you! Faust, I completely forgot about the list!” Twilight backed off of him, leaving a slightly flustered pony behind as she trotted into the library. “Faust, I’m a moron! Dr. Shelter might have made note of the spells without recognizing them. He said that there was at least one of the spells tied to Broken’s central magic, that could make an imprint on the representation of Broken’s mind if not actually being one of the threads! What the buck was I thinking not-“
Twilight stopped herself and took a few breaths, getting away from the rather-overenthusiastic bent her mind was taking. She glanced at Pip, still standing outside and looking slightly poleaxed.
“Are you alright, Pip?”
The pony started, looking at her and shaking himself. He stepped into the library, a nearly-imperceptible colour rising tin his cheeks.
“My apologies, Miss Twilight. I-”
“No, no, don’t worry.” Twilight waved a hoof. “I need you to get a few books for me.”
“Books, Miss Twilight?”
“Chronic Medical Spells, Mental Representations, and Use of Restrictive Compulsions. And Dr. Shelter’s spell list.” Twilight gave him a grin. “We’re pulling an all-nighter.”
…of particular note as another difference between the main healing spell and modern magical medicine is its presence in a representation of the patient’s mind; while it does not appear to be acting as a restrictive compulsion, it has a ‘thread’ all the same. This may relate to the apparent failures of the spell to activate during observed periods of injury; the thread on the patient’s mind may conditionally activate and enable/disable the healing spell based on the actions of the patient…
“Oh, I’m liking this…” a gruff stallion’s voice intoned.
The next day, seated at the Carousel Boutique, Twilight glanced up from Dr. Shelter’s notes to see Broken Shield spinning in a circle. Rarity gave him a minorly-exasperated look as he stopped and stumbled, which he replied to with a saltlicking grin; the stallion shook his head and shifted his hooves, twisting his head to stare at the cloak he wore. It covered him to a foot past his tail, with a hood slightly thinner than the rest of the piece. He shifted it around, feeling the cotton slide beneath the dark-green outer fabric.
“Count me impressed. I didn’t think you’d actually go through with all of this…”
“Neither did I.” Spike called from the corner of the room. He and Pip were both staring at a chess board, the latter casting glances at Twilight and Broken every quarter-minute. On the board itself, the lighter pieces having taken significantly more casualties than the darker ones; as Spike spoke, Pip shifted a black pawn and said something to the young dragon; Spike blinked, looked at the board from an angle, then smacked himself in the head and groaned.
“Well, dear, despite, rather, because of, your… activities over the last few weeks, I could still see why you wanted the cloak. I couldn’t make it dragonproof or magic-resistant, but it should hold up fairly well against the cold or any stray hooves that may swing your way.” Rarity gave an odd mix of a grimace and a wry smile with the last few words; Broken’s smile fell, still present but more docile.
“I mean it, Rarity. Thank you.” He gave the mare a nod; Rarity blinked at the sudden sincerity, but managed to give him a polite reply. Broken walked over to the other two males in the room, appearing to stretch himself and glance at the board as Rarity approached Twilight.
“That’s the first time he’s called me by my name…” she mumbled, still watching the stallion in a mild awe. Twilight slipped the notes into her pack.
“Well, I suppose that’s a good sign.” The reply was odd-sounding, strained, even to Twilight. Rarity glanced at the other mare, her brows furrowing.
“Are you feeling well, dear? You look rather exhausted.”
Of course I’m bucking exhausted he’s had at least two spells of Dawn’s influencing him this entire bucking time and nopony bucking noticed them and “I had a late night, is all.” The librarian gave a small huff. “Trying to figure out what to do with him beyond grilling him for information about his Equestria, for the most part. Honestly, for as long as he’s been here he hasn’t had much real interaction with anypony. I have him studying Gryphonia, but we’re trying to help him get used to regular pony life again, and sitting in a library, buried in books, without significant social interactions, isn’t really ‘regular’.”
“Well, it is for you…” Rarity tittered at her little joke, getting a small, wry grin from Twilight. “Honestly, dear, he’s been through quite a bit. He may not be able to be ‘regular’ again.”
“I know, I know… I just don’t want him to spend his entire time down here divided between walking around aimlessly, memorizing obscure texts on Gryphonic culture, and being shuttled around between my friends, most of whom he has a significant animosity towards anyways. I want to help him, that’s the whole reason I asked to take care of him, and now that he’s cooperative and I actually have the chance I can’t think of anything he can do. He seems comfortable enough walking around in public, and he seems to have no problems interacting with ponies he doesn’t know, but-”
“Who says other ponies need to be involved, Twilight?” Rarity gave a half-grin at Twilight’s quizzical look. “He needs to learn that the world’s not out to get him anymore. That doesn’t mean he needs to make friends with everypony he meets.”
“I’m aware of that…” Twilight took a breath. “Even if he’s more relaxed than I thought he’d be, he’s still too caught up in the past. I’m worried that he’s going to stay down here for a few weeks, months, making all kinds of ‘progress’ and settling into this life, and then something comes up that reminds him of Dawn or the Revolution and… boom. Back to violent, manic-depressive, horrifically traumatized him.” Twilight made a sweeping motion with her hoof. Rarity raised hers, catching Twilight’s and slowly lowering it.
“Last I checked, you meant to help him through those past traumas so that he can make progress and settle in. Have you made any headway with that?”
Twilight sighed. “That’s part of the problem. Nothing that made him like he is even exists here yet. I can’t have ponies punished for what some version of them did in some version of the future, and Broken hasn’t made any suggestions for how to help him work through these things that hasn’t involved violence. I’m stuck at only being able to listen to him talk about what happened in the Revolution, and I don’t think that just listening about what happened will help him all too much.”
“You wouldn’t be just listening, dear, you’d be replying and showing him another view on things, and giving him a much-needed method of venting his feelings that doesn’t involve murdering you.”
“I know, but… gah! I want to help him here. Directly. Make a noticeable difference in his outlook, like I did with Pip.”
Rarity gave a small snort. “I would say that Pip’s problems are rather different from Broken’s, dear. You might need to just sit and listen to him speak. You said yourself that he’s too caught up in the past; if you let him run through his memories, he might lose some of those catches along the way.” Twilight gave Rarity a stare. “Oh come now, we’ve already seen it happen. You don’t need to be a psychologist to figure that out.”
“But he hasn’t lost the ‘catches’, he’s just been made aware of them. The only real change I’ve seen with him is that he’s not trying to kill Pip anymore, and that’s mostly because of Pip’s own... changes.” Twilight blinked a few times before her eyes widened.
“Something the matter, dear?” Rarity asked. Twilight shook herself, standing and shifting her bags onto her back.
“No, no, I just got an idea on something I could do. Just a test, see if it helps him. Thanks for the talk, Rarity.” Twilight spoke rapidly, ending the sentence with a nod and a quick hug to the confused mare. She turned and put her eyes on Pipsqueak; the pony noticed and nodded, standing near-instantly and moving to the door. Spike followed Pip as Broken walked back to the two Element-bearers.
“Before we go, might as well pay you.” The stallion shrugged, flipping a silver-grey coin at the fashionista. She caught it in her magic, staring at the platinum almost hungrily.
“Thank you very much, sir, and be sure to return if you need anything else!” Rarity gave him a bright smile. He returned a small smirk.
“I don’t know if it’d be traditional for you to fashion your own wedding dress, but that should be enough to get either materials or a good dress from the nobility’s tailors. Just be sure to send me an invite, I’ve always wanted to see what Applejack would look like in bridal lace.”
Twilight blinked in surprise, twisting her head back to look between Broken and Rarity. The mare’s smile had washed out to a rather uncouth gape, and she blustered as she tried to reply to Broken’s accusation. The stallion, for his part, raised a small box into Rarity’s view; she stopped blustering with a squeak and snatched it faster than she had the coin.
“If you’re going to keep the engagement under wraps, you might want a better spot to hide the ring than the main boudoir.” He blinked, and a smile suddenly split his face. “Thanks again for the cloak!”
The stallion rapidly turned and pranced to the door, cackling like a madpony as he escaped the Boutique; Pip and Spike watched him leave, taking a second before they both jumped to follow him. Twilight returned her gaze to her now-silent friend, giving her a much more solid and sympathetic hug than before.
“Hate to say I told you so…”
How much until Lady Dawn graces this universe with her presence?
Ahh weddings, where something bad/tragic can and will happen. I can't wait.
I remember reading this a while back. I love it then, and I love it now.
3813973
... we'll see...
3814219
May or may not be occurring before the story's end / actually happening at all. Broken's been wrong before, and I'm not imagining more than 1-2 weeks pass in-story between now and the end (which means that the entire narrative's taken place over ~2 months. That sounds odd to me, but it's what I've written, so...).
3814231
Thanks!
Okay wait, who's getting married to who?
3815049
...augh, my brain...
3815438
Eeyup.
3815251
Grind it down properly and you can get a nasty edge on a spoon.
How else would you cut out your enemy's heart with one?
3815952
Broken's claiming that Rarity and AJ are getting hitched.
An epic tale of lust and woe! You tied the thing where Luna killed Pip's parents in quite well. Taking Pinkie Promises and dialing them up to 11 was interesting too. Can never be sure of anyone's motives that way, not even your own! And the subtle foreshadowing of the greater menace that still threatens to destroy them all is great. It's a bit of a stretch but I think you've told us what's causing the warp in the weave that's eliminating timelines in an expanding wave. And yet you haven't even hinted at it yet. That's what I call quality foreshadowing! We'll all be like I CAN'T BELIEVE I DIDN'T SEE THIS COMING well except for me because I'm just far superior to all those lesser commenters, but so um yeah.
3816324
I'm gonna I swear. I'm easily distracted and worried I'm going to miss JUST ONE if I go back and try to get them, so my plan was to nab all of them when I overhaul the first few chapters anyway.
3816391
...ehehehehehehehehe...
3816567
You could send a TG in to me with your idea of what the 'warp in the wave' is. I love to
steal ideashear theories from my readers.As for the other complimented bits, thanks much!
Mmmmm...just had a marathon of reading this. Took me about half a day to read and absorb everything written here.
A very dark story, but it's very enjoyable. Got a like and a favourite out of me.
3817318
Thanks!
Wedding, a wedding, we're going to have a wedding!
Let's hope that we can make it through that chapter without any drama! (Oh, who am I kidding? )
i wonder when the fact that Twilight is still an alicorn and nopony can see will make its appearence?
3817579
Check my response to AK:
3814423
I have nothing against them getting hitched (and I doubt that either would be willing to have a long-lasting relationship if they didn't intend to) but Broken could be wrong and the timeframe I have for the ~14 or so chapters left would leave the wedding being prepared and performed in a little under a week and a half.
Maybe as a post-script epilogue chapter. Maybe.
3817685
Thanks much. No problem with fragments unless you're professionally writing. Twitter destroyed the written word anyway.
3819677
...[brain shorts out trying to come up with excuses]
In technical terms, she really isn't an alicorn anymore - the UNSPEAKABLE EVIL she sacrificed her power to destroy (y'know, the one that nopony's ever spoken of, eheheheheh) stripped away the pegasus and earth pony elements. She is, for all classifications, a unicorn again.
Whether there's any leftover side-effects of her alicornization is a different, [spoilery], story.
3816997
The heck is a TG? I certainly won't send you a Private Message, since this all was your idea in the first place and you knew about it all along.
Well, here I am, finally caught up to this wonderful story. Only one thing sticks out in my mind, though. They have yet to explain how Broken is stronger (or found some loophole) than Celestia or Twilight (As shown in those times they shielded his magic at his horn). Or did the shield not also cover the base of it, and as such didn't do jack?
I guess it could be possible that they didn't shield the base, but that doesn't seem like the most intelligent choice for stopping magic. But, that still doesn't explain how he can use magic at all under lock.
Speaking of which, did Celestia unlock his magic? It wasn't explicitly stated, and if she didn't.... Why is Broken so magically powerful? 115% more powerful than Shining is still less than the Princesses (and I would assume Twilight) and even that wouldn't explain his magical strength while under lock.
Anyway, like I said earlier, this is a wonderful story. I'm looking forward to Twilight's descent (not fully Dawn, but to where she listens to that other half of her that wants to punch Broken). But more than that, I'm really interested in what Twilight was mumbling in the treehouse when, at the time, Shining left to deal with the riot.
3821768
On the lock thing, Broken doesn't really use his horn at all - unicorns all use it to focus the magic, but all of the actual magical... stuff that goes on goes on in the root of the horn, which is a fleshy bit that's situated inside of the skull, near the unicorn's frontal lobe.
As nopony's been recorded to be able to use their magic effectively without the focussing aspect of their horn, most shielding techniques were based around blocking the magic from getting from the root to the horn - either by an iron ring around the horn's base (which attracts the magic before it can concentrate properly, leaving it to dissipate into the air and as heat in the ring) or by occupying the horn with the blocker's own magic, which leaves the root able to build up energy but not release it.
Broken's just found a way to push the magic straight out of the root without needing the horn - the magic is decidedly less focused, but still as strong as he normally had it. He is still blocked, but he was able to 'reattach' his horn with the little magic he had - given that reattaching involves magically gluing it onto the stump and growing some skin over it, this wasn't terribly hard.
The problem with Broken's magic is not that he's stronger than the Princesses or Twilight, but he's had a lot more time and experience with using it subtly and in combat scenarios. He can do quite a bit more with 1% than most ponies, including stabbing every pressure point in a pony's legs and then using rather weak ropes of magic to pull/hold them to the ground. (For example.)
The point where he put a barrier around Celestia and said that she'd kill the other ponies before breaking it didn't mean that the barrier was particularly powerful (though it was quite strong, shields are still his special talent), but that Celestia was using so much magical energy to break it that the radiation/residual energy would kill the others in the process.
In the other scenarios that I can remember where Broken 'overpowers' somepony, he usually hits them fast enough that they can't properly respond, and tries to maintain that offensive control as much as he can, mixing it with more psychological efforts to keep the target off-balance. When he loses it and/or his tricks fail, he tends to crumple easily (i.e. when Pip attacked him in the Everfree castle).
Hopefully that (at least mostly) addressed your concerns.
For what she was mumbling when Shining left... Let's say she was talking to herself?
You should seriously de-ponify the characters and publish this as an actual bookstore novel.
This is amazing. I think this accounts for the sudden rise in procrastination among bronies and pegasisters.
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Sorry to quash your hopes, but I can't put Prevention out as a book for the following reasons:
It would involve taking it off of FimFic and scouring all references to it from the internet, because publishers get antsy when you have a story online for free no matter what content it is. In some cases, writers have put a single story online and tried to get a different one published, and they were blocked because the publisher didn't have copyright control over the online story (publishing contracts usually suck).
It would involve a heavy-duty overhaul of the story; I'd need to spend a lot more time developing the characters and setting, instead of having a ready-made and familiar world to play in. I wouldn't mind the work, but its still something to consider.
Also, Hasbro could, legally, throw a fit even if I took the ponies out because of the fact that I'd be making money off of a story inspired by their IP without paying them 95% of what I get. So there's that.
I do have plans to get some books out eventually, but an adapted Prevention won't be one of them. It's been a huge help to me in just figuring stuff out, expanding my writing talents, exploring writing stories that are longer than 2000 words, and I'm very much glad to be writing it. I'd rather leave it up for free than risk having it lost forever in an unpublished manuscript or a legal battle.
I very much appciate the sentiment, though.
3822784 It's amazing, wherever you put it.
I bout pissed myself when I saw that you had updated...
by the way, I love the way you have been going about the whole Rarijack thing, Slow, with little hints along the way, Genius!!!!