I'm a closet brony... I mean, if thats ok.
At the dawn of the discovery of a new sentient race, the United Nations must answer a call to arms after the peaceful society of Equestria is threatened by an enemy unknown to humans. It will take guts, courage, and sacrifice to overcome the long road ahead. Forged in the fires of conflict, a true soldiers bond will be formed between the two races. A true sense of camaraderie.
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Intresting set up, reminds me of Project: Sunflower. Keep them coming.
This seems well written enough. I do, however, have a few concerns about what is to come:
-Please, PLEASE, do not make the humans the typical "heroic, self-sacrificing american" stereotype. I've seen it way too many times, and it tires me, quite frankly. Show some conflict both internally and externally. Tensions between the humans and ponies, or even between the armies of the different human countries, do not only create some suspense for the story is also actually believable; with so many different nations working under so many different modus operandi, thre's ought to be some dissagreements.
-Don't have the humans curbstomp everything, for obvious reasons both storywise and for the readers' suspense. That's more common sense, but I digress.
Looking forward to the next chapters, and please keep in mind what I told. Too many stories have fallen down the shitter because of the reasons above, and it would be shameful to see this one walk the same path..
EDIT: Ermahgerd someone on this site knows how to spell "prologue" correctly!
Holy Fudge! I have no idea how to reply directly to comments but you're I have a jar of dirt!('
'); I love your dead space story and cant wait for more! Anyways, I have plans for some major external conflict between humans and ponies. Not so much as humans will kill every innocent creature in their way and ponies wont kill anyone. There will be boundaries I wont cross. Like, I'm not gonna have the humans butt rape a dead changeling. Also, my story was disliked!
'); (sniffle) My life is ruined.
The last line... I can picture Celestia saying that in the same tone of voice as Commander Adama at the beginning of Battlestar Galactica
are going to add army dogs in this or just soldiers.
i mean every H.I.E fic i've read only had humans maybe an animal but those were almost nonexistent
plus it could show how ponys how animals are to humans
just curious
Interesting. Very interesting so far.
Will return after reading
"Semper Fi!"?
Sure it's their motto but they'd more likely say HOORAH!
1282488Maybe the Russians will be using them. I'm not sure. But it's definitely a good I idea to touch down on.
1283844-Meh. Used it as more of a rallying cry. Like when marines are given an order, they might yell that. After all, it does mean "Always Loyal." Lolz. I'll also start adding the "H" on hoorah too.
Here ya go, have a longer chapter. Sorry it took so long to actually get into Equestria. I just didn't want it to be like, " There was a portal and the humans went through it and they all lived happily ever after! The end!" That would have been ridiculous. I also apologize it took so long to get to the fighting. Like I just said, It needs to make sense.
Also, have a moustache
Loving the interaction between the ponies and Marines.
I can't wait to see the ponies reactions to "human" warfare!!! Its gonna be epic.
Yes ladies and gentlecolts, the shit has literally hit the fan. Also, am I giving these chapters out too fast? I feel like I am. NOW COMMENT! COMMENT AS IF YOUR LIFE DEPENDED ON IT!
I'm surprised they did not have any tank support.
1303009- Yeah, if you read the earlier chapters, the device they created to make the portal wasn't big enough to fit vehicles. Plus it was built indoors. Just sayin'.
1303691 Post them as soon as your ready and satisfied with the work. Not worth it otherwise.
Awesome indeed, but realistic too. I don't think its appropriate to add a happy face or anything like that, but please keep the chapters coming, you hooked me like a fish.
Have a super long chapter! Compliments of me. I'm gonna try to make the chapters this long from now on so that I don't end up having 50 million chapters.
Also, have another mustache and a yay.
1303691 still they could of knocked down a wall to allow vehicles but helicopters could be disassemble and brought over and resembled in Equestria.
1317815- But that would... you cant just... It's a highly fragile particle accelerator that costs billions of dollars to keep up with! BLARGHAJDFHEYDHFNFHDNHHCDDSDSDAFVSGH!!!!!!!!
(gives up)
Fine, I'll see what I can do.
But it's gonna have to be much later.
Honestly the war would had been over if they had full access to their bombs planes and tanks.AND THE ALMIGHTY NUKE!!!!,,,
Oh man the ponies and rainbow dash underestimates humans.
1317091 I'm personally suprised Yellow star didn't get a boot up the ass cause most humans wouldn't take from their own kind never mind some pastel coloured pony
1319983- which part are you referring to?
1320143 The part where he tells the Marine to move and Rainbow ends up breaking it up
Pretty good so far, I love this story despite the ups and downs
1320280- Oh, ok. Maybe I should have clarified the fact that he was a lower rank. Probably a private. Plus he's a replacement that just stepped into a new dimension surrounded by sentient ponies in the middle of a war he doesn't understand.
Dammit, now I want more due to their underestimation of the humans!
1328033- Oh its coming all right. She will feel the pain.
1328072
I hope so, Dear Epona I sure hope so. At least in my headcanon with that attitude she wouldn't be allowed into the Wonderbolts
Meh, whatever. I do know one thing's for sure. Ponies are definitely better fighters than humans." Rainbow Dash said with that familiar brash grin.
oh the irony
what bothers me is that you didn't add attack dogs. no one comes without attack dogs
1371304- BLARG! I know everyone wants to see attack dogs! I'm trying okay?!
hmmm...
I wonder if like idunno a Helicopter could fit through that portal, and then miniguns can wreak havoc...
1371556- Maybe.... just maybe
1371726 You wrote the portal was only eight feet in diameter and seven feet high. I don't think a lot could get through. Small vehicles maybe, but tanks and helicopters would be a tight squeeze, if at all. Also, they need flamethrowers. Screw the Geneva Convention, the changelings attacked civilians.
1375658- Lolz. That's exactly what I've been trying to say in a way! I made it that way so that the story could play out as it is. If the humans had access to Apache helicopters and Abrams tanks the war would probably be over already. They would pretty much carpet bomb the hell out of the changelings and crush them under the treads of their tanks.
I'm only going to try to make changes to appease these picky readers.
When they find Queen Chrysalis, I hope they hang her high, like "Beer for my Horses" says to do.
Sorry, but if you murder or oblige the murder of civilians, you don't deserve to live anymore.
1429571- I get where your going with this and I agree. I doubt they're gonna let any of them go after they jumped Private Santana anyways.
1431064
Ok. By the way (sorry, I know this must be asked a lot), when is the next chapter coming out?
1431197-Teehee.... Soon fellow brony, soon.
1432885
I prefer to think of myself as a fan of the show, but thanks for answering my question.
Poor stupid Ross that will come to bite him in ass later on.
dead men tell no tales
Decent chapter, well done.
Attention fish people! Unless you haven't read the blog post, I will not be posting any of this until I am through with Assassins Creed 3, the new game from Ubisoft coming out shortly. Why you ask? Because it is awesome. That's why.
we seem to forget that it's easy for us to forget that we are suppose to be nobler then our foes, better then them, but it's so easy to slip and become the 'monster's we are fighting.
Hey all! This isn't an official chapter just a little way to remind you guys that I'm not dead. Didn't even really proof-read it. In case you were wondering, Assassins creed 3 kicked total ass and probably resulted in my isolation from civilization as we know it.
Oh well, enjoy!