Back To Equestria

by DubleTruble96

Elementary, My Dear Austin

"Thank you so much for helping with the apple stand today!" Applejack said.

It was a busy day at the market, and AJ needed some help, so I was more than willing to. After all, I always liked helping my friends in need. I just nodded and shrugged.

"It's no big deal AJ. I'm happy to help any time."

"I'm afraid I can't let you do that."

We looked at Mayor Mare and Cheerilee approach the apple stand.

"Mayor? Cheerilee? What are you doing here?"

"We came to tell you that Austin can no longer help around your store, Applejack."

"What?!" We said in unison.

"The law says that anyone working or selling items in the marketplace must have learned basic education at Cheerilee's school."

"I've pretty much graduated high school back home. All you need to know how to do is simple math to work in a marketplace."

"That may be true back on YOUR planet, but here, the rules state that you need to have been educated at our school."

"And what if I refuse?"

"That's your obligation, but we cannot allow you to work with Applejack or anypony else here in the marketplace until you've graduated."

"And if I do?"

"We'll have no choice but to arrest you, and the court will force you to go to school, regardless if you work in the marketplace afterwards or not."

I gritted my teeth in anger as the mares walked away.

"Don't let them get to ya, Austin...I'll just find somepony else to help around my stall."

I just grunted and gave AJ her apron back. I walked away with a huff and a storm cloud over my head. Shortly after, I walked into Twilight's library.

"TWILIGHT! I NEED A BOOK ON PONYVILLE'S LAWS!"

-------------

"It says right here Austin. Any pony...or in your case...person...who wishes to work in the marketplace must have graduated from Ponyville Elementary."

I paced back and forth angrily.

"Are there any loopholes? Technicalities? Anything?"

"It doesn't look like it Austin. It's air-tight."

"Can I write a letter to the princess?"

"I don't know if it'll do any good, but okay."

-------------

"Dear Princess Celestia,

I'd like to know if you could pardon me from needing an Equestrian Elementary education to work in the Ponyville marketplace. I have graduated elementary and am close to graduating high school on my planet, so I think you'll understand.

Yours truly, Austin"

"Okay Spike. Send it."

Spike blew fire onto the scroll and it disappeared into the sky in a plume of ashes. We waited patiently for a response. Well, Twilight did. I just tapped my foot and kept looking at the clock. Finally, Spike burped up a reply from the Princess.

"Dear Austin..." Spike read aloud. "I know that things work much differently where you come from, and I would love to pardon you from taking elementary all over again-"

"HAH! Take that Ponyville law!"

"-But I cannot. The rules are the rules, and you have to abide by them just like everypony else."

"Oh."

"Maybe you should wait until I read the ENTIRE letter." Spike said.

"Sorry Austin...Looks like you're going back to school."

"There's gotta be a way around this...Think Austin think!!" I racked my brain for hours...Until finally...

"Twilight, what do I need to do in order to graduate early?"

"Well, technically, you only need to complete, and ace, the final exam."

"So if I aced this test, I'll get my diploma."

"Yes, that I know of."

------------

I slammed a paper down on Mayor Mare's desk. She looked at it carefully.

"What's this?"

"This clearly states that I only need to complete the final exam to get a diploma, correct?"

"Well....yes, but-"

"Ah ah ah...I want the final exam now. If I ace this test, you'll give me my diploma. If I fail so much as ONE question, you can send me back to grade school."

Mayor Mare looked at me questioningly. Finally, she shrugged.

"Very well. If that's how confident you are."

----------

Cheerilee glared at me as I walked into the door of her classroom.

"So Austin...You feel that you can ace the Ponyville Elementary final exam without studying?"

"I don't feel, MISS Cheerilee. I know."

She smirked.

"Very well. Let the test begin."

She slid a paper over to me. I grabbed it and looked at the questions.

1. Square Root of 144.

Easy. 12.

2. L x W = ?

Once again, easy. Area.

-----------

12. What is the Pythagorean Theorem?

A squared plus B squared equals C squared. This was EASY! I was gonna graduate for su-

13. What is Rainbow Dash's top Wing Power + Pinkie's Sugar Intake /day (in lbs) - Twilight's IQ?

WHAT? How was I supposed to know any of THAT? I looked under the question. They made it slightly less intimidating. It was multiple choice.

A. 386
B. 420
C. 1337
D. 69
E. 9001
F. I don't know. (See you in class tomorrow.)

Okay now it wasn't...Judging by my previous knowledge, I can only assume...So...the equation is 'A + B - C = D'. So....11.5 + B - C = D.....Wow that's easy...I needed to think hard. The average pony has the IQ of 125-150. And judging by the fact that Twilight is the smartest mare in Ponyville, her IQ is probably around the 200 mark. And Pinkie is known lovingly around here as 'The Pink Glutton', so her sugar intake per day is probably around the 1000-5000 pound area...

Think, you got to get this right....wait a minute....420? 1337?....She was using...-

I grinned and circled one of the options.

-----------------

Cheerilee was marking my test with a self-satisfied smirk, that is until she reached the final question. Her jaw would need a pulley system to get it off the floor. She slowly marked it with a checkmark, then gave it back to me, still shocked.

"You....p-passed..."

I took it and grinned at her.

"But how did you-"

"It was easy. You're not the only one who knows about those numbers...By the way, Cheerilee.....You really could've picked a better number for option D. I didn't need to know what happens at your house."

Cheerilee turned red with anger and embarrassment, then hoofed me my diploma.

"Congrats on gr-graduating Ponyville elementary...." she said, full of disappointment and resent.

I took it from her and just smiled, then walked out, then stopped in the doorway.

"Oh and Cheerilee?"

"What?"

"Don't ever try to outsmart me again." I just laughed and walked out.

Cheerilee gritted her teeth.

Comments

[jeramiahsental]

Lol! Take that Cherilee!

[Andy Ray]

I recall, how I was searching for those numbers. Let me check, if I still remember them:

386 -- the Intel 386 CPU;
420 -- (related to psychedelic drugs?);
1337 -- the leet speak;
69 -- (shame on you! There are kids in here !)
9001 -- the "over 9000!!!" meme.

Do I pass ?