Back To Equestria

by DubleTruble96

My Biggest Fan

Lyra and Bon Bon's house, Ponyville, Equestria

"No, seriously, Lyra! I swear! Twilight and her friends have found a human, and are keeping him under lock and key!"

"Yeah right..." Lyra said, strumming her lyre.

"No, I'm serious!" Bon Bon pleaded.

"Bon Bon, you've been teasing me and my human obsession for months now! How can you expect me to believe you now? Like what about the time you tricked me into thinking that you found proof of a human's existence by showing me a piece of fabric?"

Bon Bon blushed, but continued pleading to the sea-foam green unicorn. Lyra just scowled and walked away with her lyre to be in peace.

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Twilight's Library, Ponyville

"Hey Twi?"

"Yes, Austin?"

"Is there anypony I should avoid?"

"What do you mean?"

"Like, general not-nice-ponies, or crazy fan-mares or something?"

"Wellllll...Orignally, humans were thought to be make-belief...But there IS one mare...."

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Just Outside...

Lyra huffed as she passed by the library. Normally, she would just walk right past it, but she heard Twilight talking to a pony she didn't recognize the voice of. It was apparently a stallion...Maybe Twilight got a coltfriend finally. She thought she'd just take...one little peek.

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And Back With Twi And Austin...

"Her name is Lyra Heartstrings...She's a very pale-green unicorn with big golden eyes."

"Like literally gold?"

"No, just the colour. Anyways, she's absolutely obsessive about...erm....you."

"Me specifically?"

"No, just humans in general..."

"I.....see."

"What's wrong?"

"I have a funny feeling we're being watched..."

We turned toward the window to see a very wide-eyed mare staring at us. Judging from her expression, and Twi's description, this must've been Lyra...

"Oh boy..." I whispered quietly.

"Austin..."

"What?"

"Run!"

"What?!"

"RUN!"

Lyra kicked the doors in and I took off like a lightning bolt. Twilight held her back as I made my hasty escape out the window and into Twilight's backyard. I ran to the only pony I knew that could help me hide better than anypony in Equestria: Pinkie Pie. Shortly after arriving in Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie came out to say hello, but was quickly interrupted when I shouted in one breath,

"Lyra caught wind of me and she saw me and knows who I am now and I need help hiding from her so I really really really need that lesson in time-space leaping!"

Pinkie Pie's brain took a minute to process all that, but finally she said,

"Well, okay, but it's a little complicated."

"Can you give me the short version?"

"The complicated part IS the short version."

Lyra kicked the doors in and looked around with a strange look in her eyes.

"SKIP THE LESSON! GOTTA RUN!" I shouted as I took to the kitchen. Lyra quickly chased after me and I leapt out the back door and into a nearby shrub. Lyra ran right past without seeing me. I sighed in relief and ran to find Fluttershy. She was the second-best hider in all of Equestria. Hiding is the only thing she does most of the time. I ran into Fluttershy's cottage and looked around. She was singing cheerfully while feeding one of her birds.

So, quietly and slowly, so as not to startle her, I whispered to her,

"I really need some help hiding from Lyra!"

Fluttershy jumped and hid behind a chair. I groaned.

"Fluttershy, it's just me.."

"Oh..I'm sorry."

"Don't be, it's fine. But I need some help. Do you have anywhere I can hide that Lyra won't think of?"

"Umm, well there's an abandoned burrow that's about big enough to fit you...."

"It must be a pretty big burrow, 'Shy..."

She wasn't joking. She showed me a massive hole a little off the edge of the forest.

"Is it clean? Like, it's obviously dirty, but is it littered with bugs or something?"

"No. I cleaned it out in hopes another family will take refuge. But it's pretty empty."

"Okay..."

I let myself down into the narrow burrow feet first, then pulled myself in a little further so that I couldn't be seen on the surface without someone looking in. I just sighed and looked up at the little circle of light that illuminated the entry hole. Lyra ran over to Fluttershy and asked her if she had seen a human around, and if so, where it was hiding. Fluttershy told her that she didn't know of any humans around. Lyra sniffed.

"You're lying....I can smell him."

I sniffed my shirt. Today was REALLY not the day to get mustard on this shirt...Lyra slowly peered down into the burrow and I sat perfectly still, curled up in a ball. It was dark, but was it dark enough? Would the mare see me in that burrow? She sniffed again.

"Hmmm...."

I held my breath.

"Fluttershy, he was obviously hiding in this burrow. Where'd he go?"

"Okay fine, you caught me."

No! No Fluttershy! Don't give away my position!

"He took off to Carosel Boutique to get a disguise made by Rarity in hopes of eluding you."

Lyra grinned and ran off towards Rarity's. Fluttershy waited until she was out of sight, then peeked down.

"You can come out now."

I pulled myself from the dark, damp burrow and dusted the dirt off my shirt and pants.

"Thanks 'Shy. I thought you were gonna give me away..."

She smiled and dusted my arms with her wing.

"It's okay. I could never give up a friend."

I thanked her again, then took off towards Ponyville as well. If I can find Twilight, maybe she could help me out. As soon as I set foot into Ponyville, I heard a dreaded sound...Hoofbeats trotting in my direction. They were getting closer. I ran off as fast as I could. But the hooves kept getting closer. Finally I hid in an alley between two houses and waited. Bon Bon peeked around the corner.

"Austin! Thank goodness. I came to tell you that Lyra-"

"Yeah, I know. I wonder who told her..."

Again, Bon Bon blushed.

"Look, I'm sorry...It...slipped out."

"Yeah I can see that."

Bon Bon told me that Lyra was going to check everywhere in Ponyville if she had to, and that it was a losing battle. I just scoffed and ran to Twilight's place. Bon Bon called after me.

"You can't win! She's got connections!!"

I just ran into Twilight's and-

-got a full-brunt tackle from a very familiar mare.

"YES! I got you!" Lyra said triumphantly. I just laid there underneath her, looking unamused.

"Those silly ponies thought that they could just keep a human in refuge and away from me?" Lyra laughed, then, I saw something rather startling. Lyra brought up a large collar in her magical grasp and looked at the ponies standing behind her, looking at me with a mix of pity and shock.

"They've always known I wanted my own human!" Lyra said, and the collar slowly lowered itself down to my neck. "Well I finally have one!"

I pushed her off and stood up.

"WHOA NOW...WHOA!....WHOA, NOW!"

Lyra looked at me with a shocked expression. I just caught my breath and sighed.

"I am, nor will I ever be, a pony's pet human. Not even to Twilight." Lyra looked disappointed, almost in tears. I stood there, panting heavily.

"I get it. You like humans. That's great. Kind of flattering. But I'm not one to sit around your house with a collar on me like some sort of wild animal. It's fine to like me and all, but seriously. I'm not one for being a pet."

Lyra dropped the collar and started to cry. I walked over and kneeled down, putting my hand on her shoulder.

"Look, it's fine. I know you've always had some sort of weird, kinda crazy, obssession with me and my kind. But I have a life too. But I don't want this to ruin your life. If you REALLY want, I can at least be your friend, on ONE condition."

Lyra looked at me and sniffled. "What?"

"No collars, and no pet talk. Okay? I'm not your pet, or playmate. And I am CERTAINLY not your new colt-friend...or boy-friend or whatever it is you call it here. Okay?"

Lyra slowly smiled and nodded, then hugged me. I hugged back, then pulled away. Lyra stood up.

"Can you just do one thing?"

"What's that?"

"Come to my house. After dark..."

"Ummm...Okay?"

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Lyra And Bon Bon's House, Ponyville (11:00 PM)

I sat in the kitchen, looking around and waiting for Lyra. Lyra slowly emerged from the darkness of the living room and approached me. I just looked at her, her golden eyes piercing into mine. She finally walked past and then took something out of the fridge. She set it down on the counter and asked,

"Can you please open this pickle jar for me? It's really stuck..."

I just smirked.

"Sure thing Lyra."

Comments

[CrystalHero97]

"come to my house after dark"
DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE! WHY?! thats like saying "Come to my rape dungeon"

[Phoenix Swift]

Those sexy hands....

[ConEditor]

Nedz moar cumentz