Back To Equestria

by DubleTruble96

Short #2: Snuggle Showdown (Re-Write of 'Huggled')

A/N: Hey guys, Author here. Just writing another one-shot short story that is no way trying to stall for time and is definately not trying to get more popularity off of someone elses far greater works. Okay I lied about that first part. But in any case, I read 'Huggled' recently and it was so hilarious, I simply HAD to re-write my own version using that wacky human you all know and love having to cope with cuddly pegasi. So, without further ado, please enjoy "Snuggle Showdown"!

---

Austin's ECB was constantly ringing off the hook, all 6 charms blaring at once. He did his best to ignore it, but finally, after the third hour, he gave in and decided to answer Twilight and see what her issue was. He lifted the small charm braclet up to his mouth and spoke into the microphone.

"Austin here, what's up?"
"AUSTIN I SWEAR TO CELESTIA IF YOU DON'T GET YOUR SORRY FLANK IN HERE RIGHT NOW I AM GOING TO TURN YOU INTO STARDUST!!!"
"Twilight, we've been over this....I told you I can't help you anymore than you can help yourself. I'm not a very powerful mage yet, so you'll just have to sit tight and deal with whatever it is you're dealing with yourself."
"AUSTIN!! DON'T HANG U-" *click*

He answered Pinkie's charm.

"Y'ello?"
"Austin! I'm having a super fun snuggle-fest! You HAVE to get over here-"
"Pinkie, I'm not going anywhere near my portal device or using my time-space powers until Twilight gets this problem solved!"
"But Austin-" *click*

Applejack's charm was next.

"Austin speaking."
"Austin, can you PLEASE get your hide over here and help me?!"
"Sorry AJ, I'm too busy."
"Austin, wait!-" *click*

He spoke to Rarity.

"Hello?"
"Austin, you HAVE to hide me! I-" *click*

He paused and stared at the other two charms that were still ringing. Rainbow Dash's and Fluttershy's. He knew all too well what they wanted, and they would NOT leave him alone until they got it. Recently, there was a strange 'cuddle' epidemic going on through Ponyville. Every single pegasus was dropping out of the sky and forcibly and unrelentlessly cuddling and snuggling their ground-bound friends. And not ever letting go. They refused to stop! They kept going on about how there isn't enough love going around, so they all cling to their earth-bound cousins. It was okay at first, but after a week of non-stop cuddles and creepy ear to ear grins, it started getting hectic. Austin was pretty sure he was one of the few, if not, the only hold-out that Ponyville knew of.

And the pegasi were desperate.

Austin took a deep breath, then clicked Rainbow's charm.

"Hello-"
"Austin! Come to Ponyville, quick! You're missing out on all the snuggling!"
"Um...Dashie, I-"
"No time Austin! Every second you're not here is another second you're going unloved and uncared for!"
"Dashie...-"
"Hurry up!" *click*

Austin shuddered, then stared at Fluttershy's charm. He simply did not WANT to answer her. Of all the pegasi in Ponyville, SHE was the one going at this with this most gusto. He stared at the charm, then hid the bracelet under his pillow so he couldn't see it. He swallowed hard, then glanced at the portal device. He knew he had to do something, but he didn't want to go there and face a horde of cuddle crazy ponies. Finally, summoning up all his courage and strength, he grabbed the portal device and switched it to fire the Equestrian portal.

He aimed the gun at the wall, then fired the green portal. It ended up opening upstairs in Twilight's house. Twilight was sure to be upset with him for ignoring her pleas for so long. He took another deep breath, then stepped through and waited to be either blasted to pieces by Magic Missile, or immediately pounced on by a cuddly pegasus.

Neither of those things happened. He looked around. The library was empty. Well....MOSTLY empty. Spike was still downstairs, holding Fluttershy back. He closed the portal and put the portal device into it's holster on his back, then tiptoed downstairs, quietly, and ever so carefully. Once he made it to the front door, he glanced over his shoulder. Flutters and Spike were still distracted. Good. He opened the door and snuck out, then started to use his portal device to get from the library to around town, both silently and stealthily.

Everywhere he looked, there was pegasi patrolling the streets, the air, or chasing down their assigned 'Snuggle Buddy'. He saw a unicorn, namly Lyra, being chased by Cloudchaser. He hid behind a barrel as the passed by him. Once it was clear, he ran off to find Twilight, Rarity, ANYPONY who wasn't a pegasus. He spotted AJ by her apple stand in the market, two clingy pegasi hanging off her back and legs. He shuddered, then saw Twilight running from a horde of pegasi led by Rainbow Dash.

Austin watched them pass, then made his way back to the library. Unfortunately, a misfire ended up sending him directly into the middle of the town market. Suddenly, everypony within a 100 meter radius was staring right at him, patrol pegasi included.

He swallowed hard. "Oh horseapples." He muttered.

No one moved. They all just stared at him. Suddenly, one pegasus spoke up.

"Hey...isn't that Austin?"
"Yeah it is! Who's assigned to him?" another asked.

Once pegasus opened a clipboard and looked through it, then looked up, worried.

"Nopony is!"

Austin shrugged and did his best to act nonchalant.

"Oh! Dang, huh? Heh heh! Well that's a darn shame! I guess since you're all busy patrolling and chasing other ponies I'll just be on my way!" He grinned, then started to casually sidestep toward a back alley.

"You mean, he's not getting any love or tolerance from us?" One said.
"No, he isn't!"
"Oh no!"
"Get him!!"

Austin swallowed as a huge horde of pegasi started to fly directly at him.

"Oh geez."

He ran off, using his portal gun to his full advantage, but the pegasi were not to be denied. They kept after him, using their speed and flight capabilities to chase him. Austin kept diving through portals, franticly aiming and firing at anywhere with a relatively flat surface. He ignored the calls and cries of the pegasi flying behind him, nearly matching his own speed.

"Just give in, Austin!"
"We love you!"
"Just let us hold you!"
"We all need a little love from time to time!"
"You're body says no, but your heart says yes!"

Austin gagged a bit on that last one.

Finally, in a moment of desperation, he snagged two shovels as he ran, and threw the first one into the dirt in front of him. He jumped on the handle and sprung himself toward a wall, into which he threw the second shovel. He landed on that handle and bounced off that one too, flying toward the library. He took careful aim, knowing he only had one shot at this. He fired a portal beam through an open window, then fired the other one at the ground. He disappeared into the hole, then quickly closed both portals in mid-flight. He then crashed into Twilight's closet.

Twilight was sitting on her bed while all this happened, Rainbow Dash clinging to the side of her head like a parasite. They both turned to the human who was laying in a pile of shelves, dresses and books. The two ponies smiled upon seeing him, but for differing reasons.

"Austin!" They said in unison.
"I'm so glad you came! Listen, I really need your help researching this-"
"Yes! Now I can get you a Snuggle Buddy and you can feel loved too! Stay here!" She flew off before anyone could protest.

He just groaned in response.

"Austin, listen! I really need your help researching this! I'm not at all sure what caused it, but I'm sure we can find out!"
"Twi, I'd love to help you, I really would, but I'm NOT sitting here waiting for a 'Snuggle Buddy'....I'm sorry, but I gotta run!"
"Austin, wait!"
"I'm sorry Twi! Look, maybe I can distract them momentarily and earn you some time! Go find someone who can help you!"

And with that, Austin stepped onto her balcony, then leapt off and started to run. He desperately needed somewhere to place his return portal and get back to Earth for supplies. But he shouldn't open a portal yet because he wouldn't be able to close it in time without harming anypony or letting a Pegasus into Earth. And a cuddly pony in a town of 'unloved' humans is nothing but asking for trouble. But first, he promised Twilight a distraction.

"HEEEEEYYYY!" He shouted into the open skies, getting the attention of a large horde of pegasi.
"Unloved human at 3 o'clock! Get him!"

Austin ran off, making sure to get the attention of as many patrolling pegasi as he could, as each one was just 10 more precious seconds that Twilight could go unnoticed. He ran toward the Everfree Forest, hoping that he could lose them in the trees. Unfortunately, Austin was blocked from the forest by another horde. He turned 90 degrees left and continued running. He was blocked after a short time by another horde. He made another sharp left, only to find himself running into a dead end alley way. He stopped and turned around, seeing a mass of feathery doom closing in on him, eyes-a-glitter and mouths stretched into eerie grins completely void of any pessimism or doubt.

He panted heavily, his asthma was starting to kick in. He dropped to his knees, gasping desperately for air. Suddenly, he fell forward, arms splayed out above his head. Then everything went black.

---

He awoke in an unfamiliar building, and noticed Twilight and Amythyst Star at his side. He also noticed that he was now able to breath quite clearly. Twilight's magic levitated a small emergency asthma puffer and she smiled.

"You told me to keep it around because of your asthma."

Austin smiled weakly, then sat up.

"So where are we?"
"We're in Amythyst's house. She's another hold out."
"Nice to meet you." She offered a hoof.
"Nice to meet you too, Amythyst." He brohoofed her, then turned back to Twilight.
"So what's been happening while I've been out?"
"I....erm....WE figured out the cause of the pegasi's cuddliness. It turns out it was a magical anomaly created from the intake of a potion."
"Who did it?"
"I can't tell. Not yet. It ruins the dramatic tension."

Austin just huffed.

"Well, I know how to counter it, but I need time. And my alchemy lab."
"Alright....Where is it?"
".......My library."

Austin and Amythyst facepalmed/hoofed, then looked at a brown stallion with an hour glass cutie mark.

"What's the plan?" He asked in a British accent.
"Well, from what I understand....We need to run through a town of cuddle crazy ponies, get to the big tree house, find an alchemy lab, and somehow stall for time long enough that Twilight can create the antidote, all the while having to deal with the fact that we have no idea who did it because Twilight won't tell us." Austin said.
"That about sums it up." Amythyst said. "Oh, Austin. This is Doctor Hooves."
"Please, just call me Time Turner."
"Um...Hey."
"Can we go now?" Twilight said impatiently.

---

After a variety of events ensued, including Time Turner's sacrifice, 2-3 chase scenes, and Spike getting some mail, the 4 remaining hold outs (including Spike) were stuck in Rarity's boutique. After another unfortunate event involving Spike finding out Rarity had a coltfriend and nobody told him, he started to hold his breath, getting ready for a scream to the heavens.

"Spiiike!" Austin said. "No!"
"Spike, do not do it!" Twilight said sternly. "I'm warning you mister!"
"Spike, it's fine! Just calm down or we're all DOOMED!" Austin said.
"NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Spike cried loudly. That's when they heard the tell tale sound of wings flapping. Austin noticed there was a cat door, then facepalmed.

"Of course."

Cloudkicker suddenly stuck her head in the tiny door and grinned at Amythyst.

"Amythyst! There you are! I've been looking all over for you!"
"Keep her away from me! She clung to me everywhere! Even in the BATHROOM!"

Suddenly, the door burst open and Austin tossed Amythyst at the pegasi in an attempt to distract them, much to Amythyst's dismay.

"Whoopsie." He said to the other ponies. They stared at him, both shocked and relieved, but mostly shocked. He just shrugged and they ran upstairs. Austin and Rarity held back the upstairs door as Twilight started to work as fast as she could. Finally, Spike breathed fire on the mixture in the bottle to heat it up.

"Hurry UP Twilight! This door isn't gonna hold forever!"
"Just hold on!"
"TWILIGHT!!"

The door soon burst open and Austin and Rarity flew backward. Rainbow Dash grinned at the three of them.

"Look! Now you have lots of Snuggle Buddies! Just come here!"
"No! I have the antidote for this mess!"
"Antidotes are stupid!"
"YOU'RE stupid!"
"Just give in to the hugs, Twilight!"
"Hug this."

Twilight then drank the potion and her body twitched and jerked as magic surged through her veins. Her horn glowed brightly and the spell worked it's magic. Every Pegasus everywhere stopped their clinging and all kind of looked embarrassed. Austin looked at Twilight.

"Did it work?"
"I don't know! I kind of just...threw it together! I was panicking!"

The rest of the details are not important. But it did work. Only....it made the pegasi crazy about the OTHER kind of love. Austin took this moment to escape back to Earth and rubbed his forehead.

"Why is it always TUESDAY?"

---

Alternate Scene:

Austin stood in front of the mass of pegasi, Rainbow leading the charge. He was simply there as a sacrifice to buy Twilight and the others time. He glared into their eyes.

"Austin! You've been on our list for a long long time! I'm glad we finally caught you!"
"Do your worst! You can cuddle me, but you can't make me enjoy it!"
"A fighter? Hmmm...okay. I didn't want to do this, but you need the best we got!"

Fluttershy came in and looked upset from losing Spike.

"Fluttershy, your new assignment is Austin!"

Austin ran to the window and opened it.

"Wait! Twilight! I changed my mind! Take me with you! PLEASE!!"

Austin was suddenly dragged back into the library kicking and squirming and the windows slammed shut as the Pegasus horde closed in on him and he had to endure a cuddly fate.